"Excuse me, Miss, but haven't I seen you somewhere b... OH MY GOD! SPIDERS -- SPIDERS EVERYWHERE GET 'EM OFF ME!"

For maximum effect, spill your drink all over yourself, light yourself on fire, leap through a plate glass window and roll around in the broken glass. It's a real ice-breaker.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

If she truly is interested, she'll roll with you.

Through broken glass? That's some awfully romantic misdirected dedication to a stranger trying to fuck you! Phwew!

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8===D

Look, do you want to leave a lasting impression or not?

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

I tried that and got slapped. Which is a big improvement on the usual reaction of spraying my eyes with mace and planting several swift kicks to my gonads.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

I'm still working my way up from tazer to the groin and nettles in the ass.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

"What's a nice girl like you doing blowing goats for a living?"

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What others say about boorite!

"Your parents must be retards, because you are so special"

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I dumb :D

"Wow! Cute baby! And your infant is cute too."

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

"Hello, nubile female. Would you care to have oral, vaginal, or possibly even anal sex with me?"

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I has a flavor!

"Do you like candy? I have a lot of candy in my car."

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It's grime time.

HAHAHA! That one ALWAYS works!

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I dumb :D

"I like your boobs."

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Poop.

That's how Rabid tried to win me over. Well, a combination of that pick-up line + video games.

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Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

"Ever played Carnival? You strip down and sit on my face, and I try to guess your weight."

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

That's how Rabid tried to win me over. Well, a combination of that pick-up line + video games.

omg lame

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What others say about boorite!

I am the captain of the S.S. Smooth.

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Poop.

I prefer "You're ugly, but you intrigue me"

"Excuse me, miss...can you smell my bowel movement from there? Or is the nauseating stench being contained by my new, extra-absorbent adult diapers?"

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

This works pretty good.
[Click to view comic: 'SetYourAssOnFire']

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obscenity filter is off

'you bet your fat preggo ass its loaded'

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what if nigger meant kite

Try a few of these:

Shameless Plug

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

"Is that a pickle in my pants, or do I just have an erection from looking at your bum?"

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Poop.

Only pickup line that ever worked on me was:

"I'm Batman."

"These scars? I got them from a women driven mad by lust. May I sharpen your fingernails?"

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet