So my pal Stagger Lee comes into town on his way from Maryland to Florida and crashes at my place for the night. I say, Stagger Lee, what do you want to do while youre here? and he says the Hamdog. For those not in the know (I wasnt), the Hamdog is two hotdogs wrapped in bacon, covered with chili and cheese with a fried egg on top of that. You can google it (I did) and it talks about all the bad press that the Hamdog received for being the harbinger of a heart attack.

Also on the menu, said Stagger Lee, was a tasty treat called the Luther Burger. The Luther as it is known, is named after Luther Vandross. Evidently Luther one night was frying a burger and didnt have any bread in the joint. This was back before Luther had lost all that weight. Anyway, Luth had some doughnuts so what do you know, he used the doughnut as bread. I spoke to the owner of Mulligans, the place that serves these tasty treats in Decatur, and he said he wasnt sure of the exact formula that Luther used to make this burger so after some experimenting, he fried the doughnut and turned it inside out and thats what the Luther is.

So we went. Stagger Lee got the Hamdog and I got the Luther (my wife had the Caeser salad with cheesy Tater tots, we needed a designated driver for this just in case it got out of control) and we went to town. Well, as much as one can go to town on these artery cloggers. Id equate the Luther to when you make pancakes and your bacon falls in syrup. Thats about it. It was awesome but it felt like a brick in my stomach and I can still sort of feel him inside of me, chilling. Im betting this must be how a camel feels, walking around with his food perched precariously on his back. Mine is sitting right at the belt line.

The Hamdog

I tried a bite of Lees Hamdog and it was GREAT. Capital GREAT. Lee left some room in his tummy, though, for dessert and showed his hardcore-osity by ordering dessert. The Fried Twinkie.

The Fried Twinky is a frozen Twinky rolled in egg then rolled in Capn Crunch (no berries) and then fried. This was something the Capn never thought of to happen to his cereal, but it was pretty tasty, what I could try of it. A little too sweet after The Luther but I had to try it.

After this, Stagger Lee hit the road to Florida and I went into a coma. Not a nap. A COMA. I went to sleep for HOURS. It was hibernation I think. Ive never understood exactly how bears could hibernate, but now Im almost positive that the Luther burger is some how involved. I feel like part of me will always carry it around with me, like first love or a bad tattoo.

The Luther

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

What you call the "Luther" is a delicacy at ballparks (minor league) here. Except we don't turn our donuts inside out.

The ingredients are:
One krispy kreme original glazed donut
One pound hamburger
Two slices of cheese

Does that sound right?

(Plus additional toppings if you're truly brave)

I think a hamdog would be exceptional for breakfast in the ghetto.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

goddamn. i want a hamdog now. soooo hungry....

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Kill Whitey.

Thats nothing!

The other night my pal Johnny Good comes into town on his way from Alabama to Florida and crashes at my place for the night. I say, Johnny Good, what do you want to do while youre here? and he says Mayor Mcmotherfucking cheese.

Now you all may know Mayor McCheese is the mayor of the fictional McDonaldland, created for an advertising narrative for the McDonald's fast food chain. He has an enormous cheeseburger for a head, and sports a top hat, a diplomat's sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles. He is portrayed as a giggly, bumbling, somewhat incompetent mayor with a wavering, high-pitched voice similar to (or perhaps a direct immitation of) actor Ed Wynn. His Chief of Police is Officer Big Mac.

In 1973, courts sided with Sid and Marty Krofft that McCheese bore too close a resemblance to H.R. Pufnstuf, and that many other McDonaldland residents were plagiarized as well. McDonald's was forced to pay a settlement, and as a result, the character was eliminated from the advertising campaign. Since then, Mayor McCheese has largely been phased out of the McDonaldland canon, though he remains a popular 70s pop culture icon.

In the late-1990s and 2000s, Mayor McCheese became a common subject in American comedy, such as Saturday Night Live and various other programs. On Late Night with Conan O'Brien, McCheese is a recurring character who is a prominent Scientologist (as a parody of the recent trend of celebrities joining the church, and of Tom Cruise in particular). St. Louis, Missouri-based one man band Googolplexia has honored (or perhaps memorialized) Mayor McCheese in song. Most recently, Mayor McCheese was parodied in an episode of the stop-animation Robot Chicken shown on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim block.

There has also been a recent resurgence of Internet-based interest in the Mayor, resulting in several fictionalized histories of Mayor McCheese. Eyemarten.com is a humorous account of the Mayor's life, up to his "death," (although it refers erroneously to pictures of Officer Big Mac as the Mayor himself more than once).

But he takes me out to this field and I am all like, Hey Johnny Good, can we go play Elder Scrolls Oblivion? I do not much feel like doing Mayor Mccheese, when I see that its this large head in a field".

But he is all like, no its cool. So later we tie up a homeless drifter and cook and eat him with cheese. We make him act like Mayor Mccheese and we cover him with artery clogging goodies like bacon, ham, syrup, more cheese and our own ejaculate.

Then later, I realize there is no Johnny B Good. I was alone and I ask him, during that time I was alone, what were you doing?

and Jesus turns to me and says "I was carrying you,lol"

and Jesus turns out to be Macgyver

So in the end, you can see why I really need a hamdog.

Strangely enough, Johnny B. Good just came up on my WinAmp right after reading that.

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Poop.

My friend O. Danny Boy came over and ate a hooker a bottle of knife.

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What others say about boorite!

The Hamdog sounds like the greatest thing ever.

If God does exist he no doubt eats at least an infinite amount of these a day.

They must be a regional thing because I've never heard of either the Hamdog or Luther, but I spent enough time in Minnesota to see them create all sorts of unnatural fried confections on sticks.

Those all sound absolutely revolting.

Which is ironic, because I take part in our local cuisine as often as I can.

Here's the finished product. Looks tasty!
[IMG]http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c12/ivytheplant/rmo.jpg[/IMG]

Here these delectable delights are being prepared. Yum!
[IMG]http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c12/ivytheplant/ROCKYMOUNTAINOYSTERS.gif[/IMG]

And here are the fruit about ready to be picked. Soon they'll be on their way to someone's gastrointestinal tract!
[IMG]http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c12/ivytheplant/rocky_mountain_oysters.jpg[/IMG]

[IMG]http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b5/boorite/hambone.jpg[/IMG]
hamdog

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What others say about boorite!

I thought this was a thread about a dog made of ham, cause.. I mean.. how much would that rock?

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Last night, my boss asked if I wanted to grab some dinner downtown after a meeting downtown. We walked to the closest restaurant, which is a seafood place.

We both had salads with mustard vinegrette, his with dungeness crab meat, mine with ahi sashimi.

I hope to god I never see a hamdog or a luther.

[IMG]http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b5/boorite/TopDogWannaBeAttackDogDSCN2217.jpg[/IMG]

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What others say about boorite!

I'll take that as a challenge.

I would like to eat a hamdog, but a hamburger with a donut bun doesn't sound very good to me.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

quote:

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Last night, my boss asked if I wanted to grab some dinner downtown after a meeting downtown. We walked to the closest restaurant, which is a seafood place.

We both had salads with mustard vinegrette, his with dungeness crab meat, mine with ahi sashimi.

I hope to god I never see a hamdog or a luther.

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And then he would hibernate :D

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

incidentally the title of this thread would make a great comic series

It would also make a good children's book.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

It would also make a good chapter in an instructional video about famous wrestling holds.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

The Luthor:
This move is performed by placing the head of your penis at your opponents asshole and teasing his zone pretending you are about to plunge it into him.

The Hamdog:
This move is performed by plunging your penis into your opponents ass.

The Luthor:
This move is performed by placing the head of your penis at your opponents asshole and teasing his zone pretending you are about to plunge it into him.

The Hamdog:
This move is performed by plunging your penis into your opponents ass.

But what about the doughnut?

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

The Luthor:
This move is performed by placing the head of your penis at your opponents asshole and teasing his zone pretending you are about to plunge it into him.

The Hamdog:
This move is performed by plunging your penis into your opponents ass.

But what about the doughnut?

LOL

quote:

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Well, yeah.. but you're one of those sniffy yuppie types who reads the labels to make sure you get the "cool" fine ground Columbian roast and call edible things "trashy" and "pedestrian".

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I think the Luther would be decent if it were just unsweetened doughnuts.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

I'm not really that interested in eating some goofy, fucked-up shit that Luther Vandross' dumb ass came up with.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.