WORST WAY TO TELL PEOPLE BAD NEWS!!!

It could be something as simple as telling them that their fly is open or that there's something dangling from their nose. Or, it could be something like, "Your parents were just eaten by alligators."

OR IT COULD BE THAT OSAMA BIN LADEN ABDUCTED YOUR CAT AND NOW YOUR CAT LOVES OSAMA BIN LADEN MORE THAN HE LOVES YOU.

Contest duration--ehh. Judging will take place--ehh.

Have the most fun you've ever had, EVER!!!

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Sometimes the worst thing is when you realize the truth by crabby 5-30-06

I'm really not sure how to tell you this. Just do it fast like a band-aid. I'm 50 cent.

Ever notice white people talk like this? by crabby 5-31-06

I'm really not sure how to tell you this. Just do it fast, Like a band-aid. I'm Ramma-Tut.

And Black people talk like this? by crabby 5-31-06

I'm really not sure how to tell you this. Just do it fast like a band-aid. I hate LL Cool J.

WW 50: Hulk Poetry Jam by PrimoOoze1138 6-02-06

Uh oh... Betty, I need to tell you something, so I wrote you a poem about it. Ok, Bruce, what is it? I feel so bad, please don't be sad, I Hulked again, and killed some men. New York is toast, and so's the coast, I ate Freddie Prinze, but I'll buy you a Benz...

---
Thar's a snake in mah boot!

WW 50: Bad news for Archie Andrews by fpd 6-02-06

Hey, Archie! I have really great news for you! Yeah, what's that Reggie? It turns out that Ronnie is really great in the sack! Well, I had to choose between Betty and Veronica someday. I'll just forget about Ron and date Betty now. Speaking of Betty, I have bad news. She's a really bad lay, and she refuses to get an abortion. Are you telling me you've been with both my girls? You bastard, Reggie!

---
FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

Bad News Babysitter by boloboffin 6-02-06

Mrs. Wilmington looked and looked. Finally she found a neighbor who would watch her four children for the evening... Now, Debbie, I might be a little late tonight... Don't worry, Mrs. Wilmington. I only charge a flat rate - ten dollars a child. Four hours later... I'm back! How was everything? Well, I have good news and bad news. What's the good news? You only owe me twenty dollars.

---
You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

This one was an entry in a previous contest, but it works.

CC 302 by HCRoyall 10-24-05

Well, sir, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is, we couldn't save your wife. The good news is she was delicious.

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

god help us by AngryAmerican 6-03-06

Hello fellow lovers of freedom, Dick Cheney here with another installment of the Vice Presidents Report. I'm known as a 'stright-shooter', so here's the deal... In the best interests of our god fearing nation, i have had myself cloned several times despite the fact I am vehemently opposed to the idea of playing God. Frankly, I'm just too damn important to let morals deprive our country of me. Now that this has been done, I am vehemently opposed to the idea of playing God. Secondly, we've decided to change the name of the country to 'Bushmerica', and have installed our beloved leaders brain into an indestructible robot body so that he may lead us in greatness forever. Hello Bushmericans! Four thousand more years!

---
Kill Whitey.

This one is not a sequel to my last strip. It takes place in an alternate timeline.

WW50: The Archies sing a new song by fpd 6-03-06

Everyone having a good time tonight? Many have asked when the Archies would come out with a new song. This next one is dedicated to Betty Cooper, and it's called "Betty." ♫ Out! Out! You make me want to shout! Get out of my life! I don't want you for a wife! ♫ ♫ Oh Betty, You're a bitch. You're a nag. You're a turd of a girl. You're a bitch. You're a harpy. You're a parasitic leech. ♫ ♫ I want you gone like you were the flu. I can't wait until the day I'm rid of you. ♫ ♫ Oh Betty, You're a bitch. You're a nag. You're a turd of a girl. You're a bitch. You're a harpy. You're a parasitic leech. ♫

Believe it or not, Betty is my favorite Archie character.

---
FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

WW 50: The 1337 Doctor

Give it to me straight, doc, how is my wife? dead, lol

by PrimoOoze1138, 6-03-06

Too bad HCRoyall beat me to the whole doctor thing.

Oh well.

---
Thar's a snake in mah boot!

Them news's by Humpenstein 6-04-06

The president is giving a speech in front of the whitehouse, we are coming to you live from in front of the capitol. I'm gay...and Jewish. Channel 3 News is currently having technical difficulties.

WW 50: Sean Penn Is Your New Joke by Matt_wolfe 6-05-06

I have bad news and worse news. What's the bad news? You have 24 hours left to live. How can this get any worse And now the girl is dead... sad... sad... The worst news is that I tried to contact you since yesterday!

I am going to judge this contest on Saturday, so you will have to wait until late Friday night or early Saturday morning to get your entries in for them to qualify as "last-minute."

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Congratulations! by The_young_scot 6-07-06

Hello, Are you George? Uh...yeah Congratulations! Your wife has sent you an Abortion-o-gram! Do you want me to sing my song?  No

---
The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

ObeyTheLaw. by CheerUpEmoKid 6-09-06

Today at school, there was some random police dude that taught us a valuble lesson. Is that so? Oh ya. He told us to report any stranger that touches us to the nearest police station. Dad, Step-Mom's in jail. ...I need a cigarette.

---
"Cerebral ... does that mean your heart?"

WW50: The Outer Limits of Bad News by fpd 6-09-06

Don't touch that dial. There is nothing wrong with your television. We control the picture. We control the horizontal and the vertical. And we control the programming. Welcome to the 700 Club. I'm Pat Robertson, and I'm pleased to announce that we're now the only show on TV. It is truly a miracle, Pat. Christians are winning the war against freedom of thought. Just think, no choice means no sin.

---
FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

Okay, Sunday then. I'm just too drunk to manage it right now.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

This was really a difficult choice because blah, blah, blah, meow, meow, meow, The young scot wins for "Congratulations."

If anyone disagrees with my decision, then by all means, blah, blah, blah, meow, meow, meow.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

quote:

---

This was really a difficult choice because blah, blah, blah, meow, meow, meow, The young scot wins for "Congratulations."

If anyone disagrees with my decision, then by all means, blah, blah, blah, meow, meow, meow.

---

Agreed.

---
"Cerebral ... does that mean your heart?"

Cool, wasn't expecting that.

I'll get the new contest up once I find a half decent idea somewhere in the dark depths of my brain.

Thanks!

---
The following statement its true. The previous statement is false