Well, as Thanksgiving rapisly approaches, there is only one thing on everyone's minds. Yes, the Holiday Sale season has begun. For the past two months stores have subtly raised their prices so they could slash them down to normal and advertise about how they're 50, 60, even 70% off.

So, in honor of this mockery of the true meaning of the coming holidays, I want you to make a mockery of sales in general. Here's your template; have at it.

FTC99 Template

Do you have this in an extra small?

by HCRoyall, 11-08-06

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

FTC 99: The Big Sale by biped 11-09-06

Do you have this in an extra small? (Shhh...go through that unmarked door over there. The password is "chicken.") ("Chicken.") YOU'RE OUR MILLIONTH CUSTOMER!!! Well? Did they have it? Yes, and I'm going to be Grand Marshall of the Christmas parade.

FTC 99: The Mystery Shopper by biped 11-09-06

Do you have this in an extra small? (Hmm...I wonder if he's that "mystery shopper" I heard was in the store.) Right this way, sir. Whew...thanks for the blowjob. I especially liked it when you stuck your-- Please put in a good word for me, sir. It would help me out a lot. ...and she gives really, really good blowjobs. Wow. Too bad I don't need anything at that store.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

FTC 99 by boloboffin 11-09-06

Do you have this in an extra small? Isn't it already extra small? Oh, snap. Back up offa my brilliance.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

ftc 99 v2 by arbi 11-09-06

Do you have this in XS? I only drink to XS

ftc 99, apologies to keith anderson by arbi 11-09-06

Do you have this in an XXS? By second grade I was 5' 2"! By fifth grade I was wearing a size 12 shoe! In eighth grade I was shopping at the, Big and Tall, and the coaches had me playing High School football. Double XL, Double XL! Dont call me on the phone just ring my dinner bell. Double XL Double XL! Im a lean, mean, love machine that likes to be held, A skinny little pretty boy aint what they wanna hold, they want a real man with meat on his bones! I'll yank their Yankees, ring their Southern Belles, they say "ooo bbbppp we love a double XL!" oh wait. No.

FTC 99 v3

Do you have this IN_XS? Just Keep Walking, What you need, Stay Young, Don't Change, Suicide Blonde

by arbi, 11-09-06

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woof

FTC 99: Tips Included by christopher7murphy 11-09-06

Do you have this in an extra small? Sir? That IS an extra small. Well...I guess this will have to do. So, what do you think of the new employee uniform, Miss Jones? Love it Mr. Macy. Your name tag will go here, and THIS is for unruley customers!

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Insert Theme to Mannix here

FTC 99: I'm Here All Week by Hatrix 11-09-06

Do you have this in an extra small? If I did, I wouldn't need the operation. Wakka wakka wakka You should be in vaudeville. They won't take my calls.

FTC 99: Self Improvement by Hatrix 11-09-06

Do you have this in an extra small? hast du dieses in einem extrakleinen? This concludes tape one of Learn German At Home.

FTC 99: Tell Me I'm Adopted by Hatrix 11-09-06

Do you have this in an extra small? You just HAVE to embarass me don't you dad. Your mother put me up to it.

FTC 99: Final Try Comic by Hatrix 11-09-06

Do you have this in an extra small? Sir, please stay out of the changing rooms. They're for customers only. I'm a customer! This is a maternity store!

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“Life is intrinsically... boring and dangerous at the same time. At any given moment the floor may open up. Of course it almost never does; that's what makes it so boring.”--Ogdred Weary

BTC #78 Template (Boobage) by christopher7murphy 11-09-06

Wow...I'm glad that wasn't my boob.

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Insert Theme to Mannix here

Hatrix wins.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Woohoo! :D

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“Life is intrinsically... boring and dangerous at the same time. At any given moment the floor may open up. Of course it almost never does; that's what makes it so boring.”--Ogdred Weary

And also, that means that you get to start the next one.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Hatrix has one day to make the new FTC, otherwise her title goes to biped.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

biped gets to make the new FTC, since Hatrix is absent.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Biped just kicked my sorry butt.

I'm on it... sorry.

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“Life is intrinsically... boring and dangerous at the same time. At any given moment the floor may open up. Of course it almost never does; that's what makes it so boring.”--Ogdred Weary