Since I can't win this one, I figured I'd bring you all on board with me.

Here's an example of the Christmas themed comics I've been doing

Orange Soda : XXXMas 8 by finn34 12-17-06

I figured out what you're getting for Christmas! OK, what? I can't tell you exactly, but here's a clue : "Solid Snake" Hmmm. And it's not another gay porno. No?

Orange Soda : XXXMas 7 by finn34 12-13-06

I had this weird dream. I was Santa Claus, but I was stuck in a gay scat film and I was screaming for my agent. How do I put this ... That was no dream. That was you remembering your Sophmore year. How much did I make on that? Enough to buy a small car.

OPC 19 : Scat-nta Claus

Christmas just wasn't the same after the filming of "Scat-na Claus 2 : Fecal Forest of Despair" *ughn* C'mon Santa, *ughn* the kids are waiting! *hurf* SOMEBODY CALL MY FUCKING AGENT!

by finn34, 12-11-05

Herein is the challenge :

1. No old stuff

2. Series' are wonderful if you can pull them off

3. You MUST reference Christmas/Channukah/Kwanzaa, etc.

4. Use of Santa will get you extra points

4a. Use of Santa doing a gay scat film will you get triple extra points

5. I give you until Christmas Day (12/25/06 at roughly 12noon Central Standard Time)

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Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

CC342: Happy Santa by UnknownEric 12-20-06

Scooby dooby doo wop wop waaaa... What are you doing, fat man? Practicing for my role in a film in which I happily sing improvisational vocal jazz. Sounds awesome! No, Santa, I think you've entirely misunderstood the phrase "gay scat film."

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I has a flavor!

CC 342: Skidmarks For Santa 1 by biped 12-20-06

Santa! What in the blue Dickens are you doing on the set of a gay "scat" porno film? Same as you, Captain Chip--or should I say "Captain Wanker"--I need a hernia operation. GOSH! And to pay for it, Santa himself will have to suck dick, get ass-pumped, and eat some fat fag's hot, runny-- YES, YES--I GET THE POINT! But at least I'll only have to do this ONCE! I just loved you in "I'm Dreaming Of A Brown Christmas", Santa. Care to re-enact it in lieu of your bill? I'll be "The Constipated Wood Sprite."

CC 342: Skidmarks For Santa 2 by biped 12-20-06

DAMN--my bowels have been fucked up ever since that operation. I sure hope "the urge" doesn't hit me at a bad time. Oh, dear. Well, good luck. *RUMBLE* HOLY SHIT, HERE IT COMES!!! NNNNNFFFFFF!!!***FRRRRRRT!!!*** (sniff) Santa hates me...

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

RCL no. 1361 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 12-20-06

"Mee-OUCH! Mee-OUCH! Mee-OUCH!" Oh, YEAH, Tabby! [*pant* ] Holy Hanukah! "Mee-OUCH! Mee-OUCH! Mee-OUCH!" Take that DICK... [*pant, pant* ] This is the first time I've ever seen a "gay cat film"... "Mee-OUCH! Mee-OUCH! Mee-OUCH!" ...up your ASS!! *PANT! PANT!* Looks like I'll be moving Tabby over to the "naughty" side of my list this Christmas!

Groovy! - On the Set of a biped Comic by edoggydog 12-20-06

Santa! What in the blue-balled dickens are you doing on the set of a gay "scat" porno film? Same as you, Captain Chimp... Or, should I say, "Captain Spanker"? I need a hernia operation... Groovy! What the FUCK? What the hell are you doing here? Can't you see we're in the middle of a comic? Sorry! I was just trying to figure out how biped comes up with his warped ideas...

CC 342. Deer Scat-na Claus by Xuanwu 12-20-06

Santa! We're running short of money for our operating budget again! Well, I could always release another gay scat film starring you elves and I. But that genre has become so saturated in the past few years, no one's buying them anymore! "Hot Elf Fudge Part 42" barely broke even! I guess we need a new hook, then. *Bow chicka bow wow* You always wanted a brown nose, Rudolph. Now's your chance!

CC 342 : Merry XXXMas by El_Phen 12-21-06

Wow Santa, how are you able to afford to give away all those expensive presents for free each year? Ummm. Earlier that year... Ja, Baby. Scheiße in meinem Mund. Groß! Bumsen Sie jetzt meinen Esel Sie elfen Hure! Definitely NOT Gay scat porn movies. And if that bastard twinkles says anything else it's a filty lie. ...

 Incidentally, I highly reccomend translating that middle panel here: http://translation.paralink.com/ I was going for "Fuck my ass" but this is much better.

I'm dreaming of a gay scat Christmas...

CC 342: My Hiney Sense is Tingling by not_Scyess 12-21-06

Well, Mrs. Claus, we sure did ship a lot of Spiderman 2 DVDs this Christmas. psst... Santa... I just heard that as a joke some of the boys dumped the Spiderman 2 DVDs and sent copies of that one flick you starred in when you were broke a few years ago. Oh. Wait... WHAT?!!? Oh, shit... this could be bad... "Honey, you say you want what for Christmas next year?" Three naughty elves and a bucket of reindeer poop!

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

[IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e301/mattmallone/xmas1.gif[/IMG]

mattmallonei hear the hand over a vacuum cleaner hose phoomp sound every time

yes, hand

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what if nigger meant kite

Kaufman's karols

It's the most punderful time of the year!

by NeoVid, 12-22-06

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

 Might as well count this since it technically follows the rules.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

How I Saved $300 Without Calling Gieko by attitudechicka 12-23-06

I've decided not to get you anything for Christmas this year, because you celebrate Kwanza and I'm not really sure if gift giving is part of your religion. I've decided not to get you anything for Christmas because I would have to buy it in a store that uses electricity and is probably a product made using electricity in some form as well. I've decided not to get you a gift this year because you don't believe in God, and you need to get the fuck out of my Christian holiday.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Used to Laugh and Call Him Names by attitudechicka 12-23-06

How's it going, Gia? Not good, Santa, not good. My son has asked me for everything he's seen on tv for Christmas. Including Barbie. You should get him all of it, since you won't let him believe in me. I'm not dropping that kind of money just because I don't want to lie to my kid for five or six years. Scrooge. Gay scat film star.

 I'm done. I tried for the bonus points and probably failed miserably.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

On Top of the North Pole by choadwarrior 12-23-06

Santa, I've got a big package for you. And it has a big load inside. This Christmas, it's my turn to shower you with a gift. Can we invite Prancer and Dancer?

War on Christmas by choadwarrior 12-23-06

AHA! It's me, Santa! At last we meet. Soon the War on Christmas will be over, and I shall be victorious. As Son of God, I have the upper hand. Only because they're nailed there.

War on Christmas II by choadwarrior 12-23-06

People the world over are rejecting commercialism and embracing the true meaning of Christmas. You must really get off on that. Why yes... You're soaking in it.

War on Christmas III by choadwarrior 12-23-06

You'll never be as popular with the ladies as I am. You're just a fat old man! You're the product of a virgin birth--all the pain with none of the pleasure. At least women get something out of it when I come down their chimney.

Christmas Wars IV (A New Hope) by choadwarrior 12-23-06

Commerce is the ultimate power of the universe. I suggest we use it. Don't be too proud of this capitalistic terror you've constructed. The ability to buy & sell a planet is insignificant next to the power of God. Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Jesus. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up peace on Earth... ...or given you clairvoyance enough to find out who's been naughty and ni...[cough]...[choke] I find your lack of faith disturbing.

The War on Christmas to End all Wars on Christmases by choadwarrior 12-23-06

I have to admit, without you, I'm nothing. We are co-dependant in many ways. This whole War on Christmas is pretty silly--we should just accept each other for who they are and not fight over which one of us is more correct. That's the true spirit of Christmas. Season's Greetings, Jesus. Happy Holidays.

CC 342 by jes_lawson 12-23-06

Skeeba-dabba-dooba-ze-bop-dap-ba-durl! We're getting happy and festive without a care in the world! Wrappin' Dancin! Dashin'! Prancin! Scoobee-dibidee- be bop, Kwanzanativitah Jive! Wrappin' Dancin! Dashin'! Prancin! Scoobee-dibidee- be bop, Kwanzanativitah Jive! How was that? For an old bearded recluse, with access to all the world's kids, you've got some weird ideas about what a gay scat film is.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Christmas Eve Forecast by choadwarrior 12-23-06

Ruuuuuudolph! ♬ ♬ ♬ You don't have to put on the red light.♬ ♬ ♬

Top of the World by choadwarrior 12-23-06

Well, I'm off to deliver Christmas presents to all the good, little girls and boys. Everybody thinks you're a great guy because you give them presents, but you're really just a self-centered, egomaniacal prick who does it for the fame and glory and not out of any feelings for others. How can you say that after all the years we've worked along side each other in the toy shop? You're just as much a part of this as I am. What's my name? Missus?

Looking Down on Creation by choadwarrior 12-23-06

OH! And I know you've been eating Christmas cookies made by other women! Excuse me, but I have to go make millions of children around the world happy now. What about making ME happy? Don't wait up. THERE'S NOTHING FOR ME IN THAT WRINKLY, OLD SACK OF YOURS ANYWAY!

CSI: North Pole by umfumdisi 12-23-06

Sorry, to bother you on Christmas Eve, Krissom. This one's pretty bad -- young girl, about eight years old. Only name given was Karen. How did you get her name? From her "friend." He's right over there -- was a real puddle when we got here, but he's coming back to life. Holy Shit! Frosty?

CSI: North Pole by umfumdisi 12-23-06

I know I must remain objective, but I can't believe my old pal Frosty had anything to do with this murder. We can keep him on ice while we gather more evidence. True, he has a record. And he's always been a bit of a drifter. Personally, I think he's been trying to snow us. Maybe. Just make sure Gaylord brings me those speciman samples. No problem. I'll take some more x-rays of the body.

CSI: North Pole by umfumdisi 12-23-06

Well, Krissom, Karen was definitely molested ... in the anus. Oh, Vixen, say it isn't so! And the fecal matter from that slide was an exact match to one taken from Frosty's carrot nose. So we have proof! Yes, thanks to Gay's scat films.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

^ Why I love umfum

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Mediocrity at its most average.

first of all : i'll judge this any time i want.

second :

Runners Up

mattmalone for this... thing.

not Scyess for Best Spiderman 2 joke in this competition

CC 342: My Hiney Sense is Tingling by not_Scyess 12-21-06

Well, Mrs. Claus, we sure did ship a lot of Spiderman 2 DVDs this Christmas. psst... Santa... I just heard that as a joke some of the boys dumped the Spiderman 2 DVDs and sent copies of that one flick you starred in when you were broke a few years ago. Oh. Wait... WHAT?!!? Oh, shit... this could be bad... "Honey, you say you want what for Christmas next year?" Three naughty elves and a bucket of reindeer poop!

Third Place

goes to attitudechicka for a Christmas lesson in being a tightwad

How I Saved $300 Without Calling Gieko by attitudechicka 12-23-06

I've decided not to get you anything for Christmas this year, because you celebrate Kwanza and I'm not really sure if gift giving is part of your religion. I've decided not to get you anything for Christmas because I would have to buy it in a store that uses electricity and is probably a product made using electricity in some form as well. I've decided not to get you a gift this year because you don't believe in God, and you need to get the fuck out of my Christian holiday.