As we near the next contest centennial (centest? contennial?) I have several ideas for a theme. None of them will be used.

Instead, we're going to do a contest about parties. They can be bachelor parties, birthday parties, graduation parties, search parties, parties of five, whatever. Bonus points if you can reference the artist formerly known as the artist formerly known as Prince.

No, that last bit was not a typo. I meant to say it that way.  Now get to stripping!

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

I forgot to mention that featuring the titles of Prince songs will get you extra credit if I recognize them.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Timmy in "Party Smarty" by biped 8-18-08

What a great idea, Timmy--having a "Prince" party! Well, I came in my "Little Red Corvette" and I brought my "Raspberry Beret"! Great! I made a big bowl of "Purple Rain" punch, and later we'll find out what it sounds like "When Doves Cry." Huh? How are we gonna do that? (Tee-hee!) By making them all go up each other's butts, of course! Uhh...where's everybody else? Let's start drinking that punch now, Danny.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Viking Princes Olaf and Harold by AngryAmerican 8-20-08

LET'S GO CRAZY in my LITTLE RED CORVETTE! I'm SOFT AND WET and SUPERCUTE! DAMN U make me DELIRIOUS with your DIRTY MIND! 2GETHER we could GETT OFF you BETCHA BY GOLLY WOW. If I was YOUR GIRLFRIEND I would be INSATIABLE and JERK OUT your battering ram! JUST AS LONG AS WE'RE TOGETHER, MY NAME IS PRINCE. COME ON, let's make some CONTROVERSY. I'll GLAM SLAM your PINK CASHMERE while you wear that RASPBERRY BERET. LET'S PRETEND WE'RE MARRIED! I'll let you call me The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known As Prince! We'll go to the 999 (A.D.) party because I FEEL FOR YOU. At the same time I HATE U yet still WANNE BE YOUR LOVER. I'm SCANDALOUS.

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Kill Whitey.

As entertaining as these entries are, AA's is disqualified for not being about a party, and even though biped deserves a win I'd like for there to be a little competition before I lose my Christmas Spirit and call this a bust.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

CC398: Party! by fpd 8-21-08

How many people are in your party? Just me and you, baby. So you're here to party? Oh yeah! Oh no! How did we become party to murder? If it wasn't for that nosy party from the Conservative party, we would have been party to nothing more than partying.

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

FUCK! I totally forgot about that shit.

Let me do some editing.

GODDAMN IT!

FUCK!

ASS!

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Kill Whitey.

Party Planning by christopher7murphy 8-21-08

"This document hereby declares that the party of the first part.... will rock; get down; and "party on" with the party of the second part.... until such time when all parties are partied out.... and have met the ultimate party goal of "partying until it's 1999." Signed... Adolf Hitler- c. 1935

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Insert Theme to Mannix here

Something Next to Nothing by choadwarrior 8-21-08

Let's go crazy! Let's get nuts! How about some raspberry sorbet? How is that crazy? It's the kind you find at a second-hand store. Wouldn't it be all melty? PARTY!

AngryAmerican

I edited the comic to fit within the contest parameters. There.

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Kill Whitey.

cc398: Backhand stroke by mandingo 8-25-08

what are you doing??! there's a party in my pants you're not wearing pants it's a figure of speech, Lisa i know that, Joe. just never knew it to take on this particular connotation in a Cigna waiting room the ones that break eye contact aren't really sick

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what if nigger meant kite

RCL no. 1893 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 8-25-08

Hey, Frozen Brad... Have you tried the new jalapeno flavored Cheetos? N-n-n-n-n-no... They are SO tasty! They're like a party in my mouth! S-s-so's m-m-my c-c-c-cock! W-w-w-w-what?

I will judge this on Tuesday if there isn't a sudden influx of entries.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

This guy got high before his girlfriend's company work party by crabby 8-31-08

Happy birthday... man. I miss you... When you aren't around the farm. It isn't my birthday. No, it isn't. It's my girlfriend's birthday. I'm just trying to practice what I'm going to say to her. Oh, I only thought you were mentioning me because you said, "man" and also because you referenced a farm. Perhaps seeing my attire and assuming I was a farm living sort of man. You don't live on a farm? No.

These are the sort of problems only incest babies have. by crabby 8-31-08

I'm the personal chef you requested. I got an email two weeks ago saying that I would be cooking for you on this date. Do you have any dinner choices in mind? It's my mother's birthday. She is... my angel. This dinner should be perfect. Do you understand me? You think you're better than me? I'll fucking cut your hand off and serve it to your mother for her fucking birthday. I don't give a fuck-- SIR! MY MOTHER IS IN THE OTHER ROOM. PERHAPS... Perhaps you'd like to go and say those hateful words to her face? I'm gonna cook meatloaf. That isn't good enough.

Santa's birthday parties can be pretty brutal. by crabby 8-31-08

Happy birthday, sir. I'm so glad that I found you. Was I hard to find? It's a pretty crowded party, sir. Call me Santa. It's a pretty crowded party santa. HAHA! You're a fool. Happy birthday to me!

The Fateful Fete by biped 8-31-08

--and you've been trying to "get into my pants" since grade school, and just because we're at a party doesn't give you the right to come on to me, and-- SHUT...THE FUCK... UP...BITCH!!! My Debbie and your Harold really seem to be hitting it off. Oh, JOY! I sense GRANDKIDS in the offing! (GIGGLE!) Hee-hee! I wanna be called GRAN-GRAN! No, PAW-PAW! Oh boy, GRANDKIDS, YAAAAAAAAY! --and he tried to rape me, so I HAD to chop him up into little chunks and feed them to circus animals, and-- Oh for PETE'S SAKE, Debbie! You could've at least TRIED to like it!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I'm having a hard time decidig between mandingo, choad, and C7, so it all came down to a coin toss.  It landed on edge and rolled around, so I guess choadwarrior is the winner.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Thanks, HCR, Nothing Compares 2 U!  If I hadn't talked myself out of buying a classic car yesterday, you might have seen me post an entry about my new "Little Red Corvair."

It's been a while since I ran a contest, so I'll see if I can come up with an idea and get it posted later tonight.