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Battlefield Mirth

Sadly, Johann knows he'll never achieve his dream of becoming the world's preeminent retarded clarinetist.

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I has a flavor!

I can still remember vividly how HAPPY I was with my clarinet. Oh, 5 seconds ago me, where have you gone?

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

This kid blows.

The demon on his other shoulder is playing an a sousaphone.  Oh, and did I fail to mention they're both demons?

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

Billy wanted to be a drummer in the band, but that faggoty little voice in the back of his head kept saying, "Choose the clarinet, fatboy" over and over...

He's across midfield, to the 40, the 30, he's going to go all the way.  Oh wait!  The Stanford Band is coming onto the field.  They're crawling up his cerebellum!  They're eating his brain as we speak, and he collapses to the ground at the 7 yard line.  Oh my god, what a tragedy!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Shitty band photos can cause brain tumors later in life...

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

"If only the stupid electric guitar had never been invented, the clarinet would have been huge."

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

This is my clarinet. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My clarinet is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my clarinet is useless. Without my clarinet, I am useless..."

Kaufman : The Wonder Years

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Gingers have dreams too.

Theodore's CAT scan confirmed that he was suffering from the strongest, oddest, and least warranted case of chronic narcisissm the doctors had ever seen.

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

One day I shall trade in this clarinet for a lightsaber and become

STAR WARS KID !!!!!!!!!!

I marched out onto that field a boy.  I marched back in a man, broken down by horror.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Behind the Music -

the rest of the woodwind section

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what if nigger meant kite

This is what happens when you mess with time travel, people.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

as this X-ray shows, Sven usually thought of his twin while masturbating

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what if nigger meant kite

Shortly before he killed 67 people, Darren realized there was no good angel on his left shoulder.

The cartoons had lied again.

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Kill Whitey.

"How different my life could have been," thought Timmy as he awaited electrocution.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.