My naive husband left me for another woman.

This strip is my interpretation of his and her current relationship as it unfolds. All based on true events. Except for the gun part -- she has a gun, but this is an exaggeration.

Mistress Stephanie Sets the Rules by stephabitch 5-15-11

Why he didn't leave the 1st time. I'm leaving you. I'm going back to my wife. No, you're not. Why he didn't leave the 2nd time. I'm leaving you. I'm going back to my wife. Not until you attend some counseling to see if that's really what you want to do. And I say you don't really want to leave. Why he will never leave her... I'm leaving you. I'm going back to my wife. And why are you sleeping with a gun under your pillow? To remind you that I hold your balls in this relationship.

Stephanie plans on marrying my husband. He has no intention of doing that:

Mistress Stephanie Plans her Wedding by stephabitch 5-15-11

2 years ago How are the wedding plans coming along, dear? So far, so good. I just have to convince him to leave his wife. 6 months ago How are the wedding plans coming along, dear? So far, so good. I just have to convince him to divorce his wife. Present day How are the wedding plans coming along, dear? So far, so good. I just have to convince him to marry me.

And if you haven't figured it out, she's kind of bossy:

Mistress Stephanie Defines True Love by stephabitch 5-15-11

If your wife really loved you, she would have picked you up from the airport. She doesn't know how to drive a stick shift. If your wife really loved you, she would let you go. If you really loved me, you would let me go. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.   !

These are great on so many levels.  I applaud your ability to take a really crappy situation and find the humor in it.

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

@ZMannZilla:

Thank you! I appreciate your comments.

Mistress Stephanie talks to her mom 3-5 times a day (on the phone IRL).

Mistress Stephanie Explains How to Find a Man by stephabitch 5-15-11

Dear, you really ought to stop getting involved with unavailable men. First, there was Alex... Mom, Alex wasn't "unavailable". We were just sleeping together until his girlfriend put a stop to it. Now, you're involved with MJ... Also "not unavailable". Believe me, he's available to me every night. If you want attached men so much, why don't you just post an ad on ashleymadison.com? Because you have to be married to post. I'm having an affair now to get married, and then I can post. Mom, don't you know anything about the internet?

True story: Every time I ask my husband why he is with this biyatch despite all the times she's taken the reins to destroy our marriage, he always says it's because "she's really a nice person".

Mistress Stephanie Can't Figure Out What She's Doing Wrong by stephabitch 5-15-11

Mom, I don't understand. I sent his wife a message through Facebook describing the affair because he was too wimpy to do it himself. She was supposed to have kicked him out. Instead, she forgave him. And then, I finally got him to move out after 2 years of nagging him about it. She was supposed to never speak to him again. Instead, they spend more time together than ever before. I've done everything I can think of to destroy their relationship and they are still man and wife! What am I doing wrong? You're too nice, dear.

Looking forward to following these comics.  Keep them coming.

Sorry for your loss!  Or should I be happy?  Or are you still trying to figure that out, yourself?

I am excite.

Matchbook_Romance wrote:

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I am excite.

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@ragu4u, @Matchbook_Romance, and @HCRoyall:

Thank you for the kind words.

I'm still trying to figure things out. I think turning all of these awful memories into dramedy makes things easier on me, emotionally.

In retrospect, I should have entitled this one "Mistress Stephanie is a Responsible Pet Owner".

My husband, "MJ", hates pets, especially dogs. Once Mistress Stephanie snagged MJ, her beloved pet "Alaska" was essentially kicked to the curb (her balcony). I keep hoping someone at her condo would complain about how she keeps a huge winter dog in a no-pet complex. But she uses a shock collar to keep her dog quiet.

Mistress Stephanie is a Great Pet Owner by stephabitch 5-16-11

Now listen, Alaska. Mommy is having a new friend come live with us. That means I won't be able to spend as much time with you as before. You hardly walk me as it is. One block before you run out of breath is not walking the dog. Unfortunately, Mommy's new friend doesn't like dogs. You'll have to sleep out on the balcony from now on. Gives me a chance to howl at the moon. Awesome! And Mommy needs you to wear your shock collar at all times. Mommy can't have you making noise while she and her new friend make their own noises, if you know what I mean. grrrr...

My husband claims all the time that he told her that he has no intention of marrying her. I think he may have indicated that she's not marriage material (but won't tell her that bit). She only hears what she wants to hear. And, she also thinks that in time, he can get her to do what she wants.

For the record, I am not a jewelry person. I made sure that he didn't spend more than a couple hundred dollars for my ring. To go from how much he spent on me to how much she wants him to spend on her is a big shock and turn-off for him, at least in the marriage department.

One of these days I'll incorporate the fact that she wants to be a wedding planner...

Mistress Stephanie Wants to Put a Ring on It by stephabitch 5-19-11

MJ, it says here that men can expect to spend at least 11% of their income on the purchase of an engagement ring. That's great news. REALLY?!? Does this mean... Exactly! As a student, I have no income. 11% times $0 income equals no ring for you. ...

While these comics are articulate and coherent, they failed to raise even a smile for me.

I applaud your effort but didn't see the funny.

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Kill Whitey.