simple rule for this one: 3 panel comic and the middle panel has to be a commercial. like this:

cc478 by mandingo 6-06-11

oh no, here come the tractors! they're going to tear down Floppity Forest! not if *I*, Brumble McOwl, MAYOR of Forest Town, have anything to say about it! so, you think marijuana's cool? so did i before my gums rotted, my dog imploded, my girlfriend left me for a 32oz Sprite, and i got butt Aids. real cool, huh? they're gone, Mayor. ...vis-à-vis the party of the first part, hereinafter referred to as the Forest... oh... so they are.

i'll judge this in about 10 days. good luck, have fun, get that finger out of your ear. you don't know where that finger's been

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what if nigger meant kite

RCL no. 2559 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 6-06-11

Yo, dude... You got this month's rent? You need to relax... ...and the best way for a kite like you to relax is by chug-ging a forty of Old English 800. It's the number one choice of inner-city kites across the USA! And, by "kite", you mean..? Nigger.

The Return of the Return to Ghell-Ghell Jellies by biped 6-07-11

Ghell-Ghell Jellies! Mr. Haha U. Farted speaking! Can I help you? Yes, what flavors of Ghell-Ghell Jellies are there to choose from? Ghell-Ghell Jellies come in a wide variety of yummy flavors! There's Mr. Ghell-Ghell's penis flavor, my penis flavor, our doggy Shed-Shed's penis flavor... "Mrs." Ghell-Ghell's penis flavor, my "mommy's" penis flavor, visitors-to-our-restroom penis flavor, "random veiny drifter penis" flavor, and boysenberry. I'll have one case of "Mr. Ghell-Ghell's Penis" flavor Classic, and one case of "visitors-to-our-restroom" penis flavor. A timely choice, madame. Our restroom's communal jelly tub has had numerous assorted penises flying in and out of it all day.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

CC by HCRoyall 6-07-11

About time you got here. Why are you carrying a hundred single-use packets of Oxi-Clean? Long story... BILLY MAYS HERE! MAX OUT YOUR CREDIT CARDS BUYING MY SHIT OR BY GOD I WILL RAPE THIS CAT TO SHREDS RIGHT FUCKING NOW! Lost a bet and have to clean the Taco Bell bathroom again? Can't pick a winning horse to save my life.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Getting Fresh by four_legged_tripod 6-07-11

She really called you that? Yep. Right before she gave me a mouthful of water and shoved my head up her cunt. Mom, do you ever feel... not so fresh? Sure. That's why I douche, but only with natural ingredients like baking soda and water found in... If I'd have know my whole head could have fit up there, I would have kept fucking her for at least another month before telling her I was doing her mom too. Mr. Massengil? Your table is ready.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

A Woman's Right to Choose by four_legged_tripod 6-07-11

THAT'S my baby? If you or a loved one took Paxil during pregnancy and now have a child with severe birth defects, you may have a potential claim against the makers of Paxil. Here at the law offices of... So, Doc Brown, you're telling me that if I drive your DeLorean 88 miles an hour, I can go back in time nine months and say "yes" to anal sex?

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Groovy! - Oscar Anthony Weiner by edoggydog 6-07-11

Next on Fox News, a Democratic represent-ative from New York now claims he was lying about lying about his naked penis text-ing. But, first, a word from our sponsor... Groovy! ♫ Oh, I wish I were an Anthony Weiner weiner... That is what I'd truly like to be... ♫ ♫ ...'cuz if I were an Anthony Weiner weiner, then every-one would see a tweet of me! ♫ Today, thirteen more women claimed to have recieved X-rated tweets from Repre-sentative Weiner. Coincidently, they are the same thirteen women who were sleeping with Tiger Woods... Is there anyone who is not corrupt in this fucking country?

RCL no. 2560 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 6-07-11

I can't believe my wife died in that freak automobile accident... *sniff* Are you in need of some grief coun-seling, my son? "The Catholic Church... Providing spiritual healing in your time of need..." Not me, Father... But, my twelve year-old son may need to spend some private time with you. *SPROING!*

Quaint That a Shame 2 by biped 6-07-11

Oh, Ed! I found the most wonderfully quaint wallpaper today! It's just like that little cottage where we "week-ended" in Vermont! Okay Ed, here's where your acting abilities are put to the test. You must now pretend...to give a fuck... about some fucking wallpaper. Bring home the quaintness of a real Vermont bed-and-breakfast with QUAINT-O Wallpaper! Now available in FUSCHIA MOIRE! Remember, if it "taint" QUAINT-O... it "taint" QUALITY-O! ...and I love the little Victorian lifestyle vignettes. Hey, I know--we'll try it out in the kids' bathroom first. But I had my heart set on doing the whole...oh, all right. (pout)

Quaint That a Shame 3 by biped 6-07-11

What the fuck happened to our bathroom? There's vignettes of a bunch of old-timey fags all over the walls! It's "quaint"! Mommy and Daddy must be punishing us or something! Tired of having to endure someone else's horrendous taste in "quaint" wallpaper? Strike back with QUAINT-NO wallpaper defacing kits! Now with sexually suggestive paste-it parts! If it "taint" QUAINT-NO... it "taint" SHIT! (sigh) Oh, the rustic quaintness of the rural gentry...the belles, the beaus, the...OH, MY GOD! THEY ALL HAVE GIANT PENISES!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

CC478: The New Hardy Boys Mysteries On PBS by ZMannZilla 6-08-11

Frank, we have a case! Mrs. Turnblatt says her priceless silver dinnerware was stolen! Gosh Joe, those were a retirement gift from her students at Bayport Elementary School! Let's start looking for clues! We're so glad you're enjoying "The New Hardy Boys Mysteries" here on PBS, and with your help, we can keep bringing these great shows to you! That's right, Tom! Pledge $100 and get this canvas "Hardy Boys" tote bag! Thank you for supporting the wholesome, educational TV that only PBS can offer! Hey Frank, looks like Old Man Jenkins was gutted with a salad fork - and there are trace amounts of silver in the entry wounds! This is a clue! Good job, Joe, we'll find the culprit yet! Let's just pray that we can get some solid DNA evidence from the rape kit.

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

CC478: Some knowledge isn't worth the price by evil_d 6-08-11

...thus proving definitively that Christopher Marlowe was indeed the true author of several works usually attributed to William Shakespeare. Next, Time Travelling Detectives will check in on Pierre de Fermat. Did he really prove his Last Theorem, or was he just yanking our chains? But first, these messages. Coming this fall to The History Channel, it's Sarah Palin's Washington! The Jefferson Memorial here is one of my favorite sights! Ol' Teddy Jefferson was God Bless America's first president, and he said: "The tree of liberty needs lots of oil, so let's start drilling!" Cancelled?? But we were doing so well! Damndest thing. Apparently you went from millions of viewers to zero almost instantaneously.

Even though she'll probably never read it, I want to apologize to Jael for casting her as Sarah Palin.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

i think 5 days without an entry warrants wrapping this bastage up a couple days early

honorable mention to edoggydog, but the winner of cc478 is

Quaint That a Shame 3 by biped 6-07-11

What the fuck happened to our bathroom? There's vignettes of a bunch of old-timey fags all over the walls! It's "quaint"! Mommy and Daddy must be punishing us or something! Tired of having to endure someone else's horrendous taste in "quaint" wallpaper? Strike back with QUAINT-NO wallpaper defacing kits! Now with sexually suggestive paste-it parts! If it "taint" QUAINT-NO... it "taint" SHIT! (sigh) Oh, the rustic quaintness of the rural gentry...the belles, the beaus, the...OH, MY GOD! THEY ALL HAVE GIANT PENISES!!!

congratulations, biped. print this out and shake it at your parents the next time they call you a loser

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what if nigger meant kite

Oh, my god...I mean, yay! 

I'll post a new one as soon as I come up with another one of my typical crappy ideas.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.