there's a different cadence to a 2 panel comic than a 3 panel comic. i'm not sure what it is, or why your hand's on my knee, but let's use this contest to explore the former and this case of Old Milwaukee to explore the latter

i'll judge in 7-10 days, when the dew's off your lilly and my palimony check's in the mail

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what if nigger meant kite

CC 482: A Newly Discovered Tragic & Bastard History! by bigworm 8-01-11

Dr. Mengele was reported to be alive and hiding out in the jungles of Vietnam. '60 Minutes' sent Morley Safer to find him. Morley found him... One... Two... Buckle my... Stop!!! ...and this is the story of their offspring. What? It just doesn't sound right.

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bigworm

Social Security by choadwarrior 8-01-11

I can't believe you're about to retire. What's your secret to looking young? I shave my pubes.

Paedophile Ernie and His Drunk, Enabling Friends CC482 by crackpanther 8-01-11

So the fucking Boy Scout says, "How's it hanging?" and I'm all, "A little to the left." HAH stupid Scout! And them I'm all like, "Your OTHER left! What are they teaching you kids these days, anyways?!" Stupid Scoutmasters!

The Bachmans Were Made For Each Other by choadwarrior 8-01-11

Not tonight, dear... You have a headache.

Paedophile Ernie and His Drunk, Enabling Friends part2 CC482 by crackpanther 8-02-11

So there I am , fucking RAMMING this ki- Haha I LOVE that eipsode! Episode? What? Weren't you talking about...sorry...brain cramp. Ok, so you were ramming this kid...?

CC482: Today's Episode Is Brought To You By The Letter P by ZMannZilla 8-02-11

Why yes, Big Bird, I can keep a secret, why do you ask?

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

Real Life: Give Her a Hand by four_legged_tripod 8-03-11

...then after an intense upper body work out, I pulled all the weeds from the garden only to walk in to see that the dog vomited on the rug so I scrubbed it all clean on my hands and knees. Needless to say my arms are extremely sore and I can barely lift them. Sooooo, no hand job tonight?

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Stinkin' Pause by AccentuateNegative 8-04-11

I just scored 100% on a quiz to name all of the 1970's Planet of the Apes sequels. This is why I'm single.

CC 482: A Newly Discovered Tragic & Bastard History- Pt.2 by bigworm 8-04-11

After locating the infamous Dr., (but prior to their engagement) Mr. Safer observed him as he practiced medicine in his jungle clinic. Mr. Tran please report to 'Hooch #7'! What he saw Mengele doing to the locals, was somehow stimulating to him. Thankyou Mr. Tran, Your bratworst vill be ready in 2 veeks!

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bigworm

CC 482: A Newly Discovered Tragic & Bastard History- Pt.3 by bigworm 8-04-11

After observing Dr. Mengele for a day, Morley just couldn't sleep. He was deeply troubled by what he had seen. What the fuck's goin' on here anyway? *fap fap fap... fap fap fap... fap fap fap...* Ooh ooh ee ee... ooh ooh ah ah! After many hours of arduous (and deeply troubled) nocturnal fapping, (which was due to his heretofore unrealized and medically undescribed 'Nazi Cock Fetish'), Morley knew he needed medical attention. Thank god there's a clinic less than 25yds away... *fap fap fap... fap fap fap... with a handsome Nazi Dr. in charge!!! *fap fap fap... fap fap fap... fap fap fap...*

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bigworm

CC 482: A Newly Discovered Tragic & Bastard History- Pt.4 by bigworm 8-04-11

The next morning (post 'fap'), Morley sneaks into Mengele's clinic compound, and has a realization... Ummm, thems some tight buns!!! *fap fap fap* Nazi buns!!! *fap fap fap!* Tight Nazi cockbuns! *fap fap fap*! The two became fast friends in no time. Herr Dr.!!! Tight Nazi cockbun motherfucker!!! *fap fap fap* Gotta' sperm sample cummin' right up!!! *fap fap fap*! Can we talk? Yaah... in mein hoochen!

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bigworm

CC 482: A Newly Discovered Tragic & Bastard History- Pt.5 by bigworm 8-04-11

And thus Morley and Mengele begat Adolph and Shlomo... I look more like daddy than your ugly ass! For reals!?? Fuckin' A!!! If you're lyin', I'm gonna' inject you with DNA from my twisted purple torso!!! Ha ha ha ha ha!

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bigworm

Paedophile Ernie and His Drunk, Enabling Friends part3 CC482 by crackpanther 8-06-11

So this gook kid is all, "Ow! Ow! PuhREASE ret me go!" Dude I'm starved. Y'all down for some food? FORTUNE PALACE!! FORTUNE PALACE!!

Reading between the lines by TheGovernor 8-07-11

judging time! none of this "here's 24 hours to get your last entries in" BULLSHIT! i'm gonna drop from a tree like a guerilla rapist, wearing nothing but fire in my eyes and a rolled up Woman's Day in my teeth

good entries in this one, but bigworm's A Newly Discovered Tragic & Bastard History series made me laugh the most, especially the first and fourth comics

take it away, bigworm! i pass the Woman's Day baton to you

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what if nigger meant kite

OK, well... thanks! I won't be too long in figuring out CC 483, and when I do figure it out, I'll be right back to tell you guys about it. First thing is to remember what an idea is, then I'll try and get one, hopefully a stimulating one. I know this... a little stimulation goes a long way with me, even if it loses its flavor. Usually I don't care about that because I just keep chewing it anyway.

I will have an idea soon.

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bigworm