Thank you for the win.  I wasn’t expecting it at all.  I appreciate it.
Ok, the new competition….
In the past I’ve set rules for cc’s that have been pretty specific.  Today I’d like to loosen things up a little bit and allow for creativity.
You may create a comic about ANY subject you’d like.  
Here are the ONLY rules:
New comic
Three panels
It must start with the following dialogue: “You wouldn’t believe what just happened to me.”
Off you go.
I’ll judge in a week (or so).  Thanks!

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https://www.porternotes.com

CC643: You Wouldn't Believe The Things I Could Believe by ZMannZilla 5-16-16

You wouldn't believe what just happened to me. Gee, that's kind of presumptuous. How do you know I wouldn't believe it? Well... uh, what? I have a healthy imagination, I actually asked for this mullet, and I've been drinking since 9AM! I could believe all sorts of crazy stuff for all you know! Lay it on me! Well, okay... so this 50-foot-tall Martian sex robot shaped like Bob Barker almost stepped on my rabbi, and- Wait... you're JEWISH?! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

Groovy! - Will Chen ever learn? [1/3] by edoggydog 5-16-16

You wouldn’t believe what just happened to me. 12/15/2011 There is never a dull moment with me, baby! You're right... They're usually SHARP and PAINFUL! 01/30/2012 If, I die before you, you better not marry another bitch and give her all my stuff! Why on Earth would I ever marry another bitch?

Groovy! - Will Chen ever learn? [2/3] by edoggydog 5-16-16

06/28/2012 Do these pants my my ass look fat? No, the inordinate amount of fat cells in your ass makes your ass look fat! 01/06/2013 I know you don't mean all those sarcastic remarks you make to me. Deep down, you're CRAZY about me! Boy, I'd have to be! 04/28/2013 Am I starting to look like I'm getting old, dear? No, you've always looked like you're getting old.

Groovy! - Will Chen ever learn? [3/3] by edoggydog 5-16-16

05/08/2015 If, you ever cheat on me, I'll rip out your heart and stomp on it!!! I'd like to see that. 10/24/2015 Check out our neighbor, Phreaky, in a bikini... I hate to admit this as woman, but she has a body that just won't QUIT! As opposed to yours, which looks like it threw in the towel a long time ago! Actually, I would.

CC by HCRoyall 5-17-16

You wouldn't believe what just happened to me. You spent the last 15 years telling some joke about rotor turbines? What the fuck are you talking about?

CC by HCRoyall 5-17-16

You wouldn't believe what just happened to me. Probably not. Well, not with that attitude you won't.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

RCL no. 5278 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 5-17-16

You wouldn’t believe what just happened to me! Lay it on me, Mr. Happy! I asked Phreaky out on a date and she said yes! YAY! But, she did say under one condition... What's that? I don't show up! Cock-a-doodle DOINK!!

RCL no. 5279 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 5-17-16

You wouldn’t believe what just happened to me! RCLG is now up to 93 followers... I'll believe anything at this point. Shnookums and I are going to have a baby together! Except that. The baby/kitty shower is next Tuesday, and we're registered at Babies R Us® and Petsmart®... Please, tell me you can make it!

CC 643: Priorities! by atomiclunch 5-17-16

You wouldn't believe what just happened to me! A few moments ago... It was a clerical error, Chen. We're sorry about ALL that ass-kicking. As consolation, you're now a superhero. Go save the world! Also, we'll look the other way if you get even with a few folks. Ay! Ay! Ay! Aayyy!! Really? I shit you not, A 20-dollar bill, just laying there! Why else would i pay for your drink?

RCL no. 5280 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 5-17-16

EDITOR'S NOTE: This comic is done in the style of the movie "Memento" in order to conform to the rules of this comic contest. You wouldn’t believe what just happened to me! I believe in angels and demons, and that the Catholic Church is not corrupt, so I'll believe anything. You're probably wondering why I'm tossing this dead monkey into Mrs. Pennipple's house. The thought had crossed my mind. Oh... Hi, Father McFelon. Ben.

CC by HCRoyall 5-18-16

You wouldn't believe what just happened to me. Let me take a guess... Yes, Mel Gibson! Punish this alien with water! Actually, we were pretending he was Kevin Costner in Waterworld and he was wearing a French Maid outfit. Don't care! Not listening!

CC by HCRoyall 5-18-16

You wouldn't believe what just happened to me. Did it involve a transgender midget, the Second Coming of Christ, and Tom Cruise admitting he's gay? No... Then I probably WILL believe it.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Out of Options by four_legged_tripod 5-18-16

You wouldn't believe what just happended to me. Why? Becuase you are a pathological liar, or becuase you think I'm so much of a simpleton that I would not understand the words coming out of your mouth? Is there a third option? Depends. If what just happend to you involves you getting a large sum of money or Ryan Gosling offering to fuck me, there is.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Marie Antoinette walks, er, bounces into a bar. by kaufman 5-18-16

You wouldn’t believe what just happened  to  moi.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Would You Believe What Happened? by Neo11 5-18-16

You wouldn't believe what just happened to me. You had a threesome with the Larson twins down the road? Suuuuure did man! Wait, how in the world did you know that? They told me they came up short for rent and were so desparate that they planned to sleep with you for $1000 each. Pathetic that you actually did it. Yeah, well.....still happened bro

I Believe There's One in Every Office by Neo11 5-18-16

You wouldn't believe what just happened to me! You won the lottery so you can quit this job and stop annoying me every day with small talk about the weather? Whoa! That's quite a cold response. But not as cold as this weekend's forecast. Not looking forward to that, am I right?

RCL no. 5287 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 5-19-16

You wouldn’t believe what just happened to me! ZZZZZZZ-*snort* What? I said, you wouldn't believe what just- -happened to you. Yes, I already know. Then, you must also know that it really sucks talking to you because you already know what I've done and what I'm about to- -say.

Have You Herd? by four_legged_tripod 5-20-16

You wouldn't believe what just happended to me. If you tell me one more time about some hair covered creature snatching you and shoving a rubbery tenticle from their stomach up your ass again, I'll scream! But it really did--- AAAAGGGGGH!!! What are you smiling about, girl?

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Real Life: Guessing Game by four_legged_tripod 5-20-16

You wouldn't believe what just happended to me. Do we have to play this game everytime you --- Oh God! What's that smell? Did you shit yourself? So I guess you would believe it then.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

HCRoyall tribute by Pandeist 5-22-16

You wouldn't believe what just happened to me. Did it involve a transgender midget, the Second Coming of Christ, and Tom Cruise admitting he's gay? Actually.... yeah. I KNEW it!!

Ye of Little Faith by Namgubed 5-22-16

You wouldn't believe what just happened to me! Try me !! We find the defendant GUILTY AS CHARGED! Off to the hoosegow you go, scum! Wait! What?!? You wouldn't believe what just happened to me! You won't believe what's about to happen to you!

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

Now I've Got Laundry Money by four_legged_tripod 5-23-16

You wouldn't believe what just happended to me. Would it explain the roll of quarters up your ass? All I did was look at him and say, "Put your money where your mouth is".

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Comic round-up.

24 hours left before judgement.

Gett 'em in!

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https://www.porternotes.com

Groovy! - Then, allow me to retort... by edoggydog 5-23-16

You wouldn't believe what just happended to me! Lay it on me... "I was eating out the ass of this skanky whore when she yelled..." *mmmpf* PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS!!! Turns out I paid her too much, so she farted me back three quarters... Groovy!

And the winner is...

edoggydog with his "Retort".

Not only is it laugh-out-loud-funny, but I think it hit a soft spot for me as I once attended a bachelor party where a stripper could pick up quarters without using her hands.

Anyway.... edoggydog... congrats on the win and take it away to CC644

ALSO, it may be a shared win as the strip was built from a good one by four_legged_tripod but there's only room for one on the podium, I guess.

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https://www.porternotes.com

I knew he'd win it the second I read it! 

It's as fine a comic as I've read yet.

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https://www.porternotes.com

Thanks! And, thanks to four_legger for the inspiration.  however, I, too, was a t a bachelor party where the stripper was using her kooch to pick up quarters.

New CC up soon