Let's keep this simple. This contest will be about making a nature documentary. Educate me about your favorite animals, plants, cultures, etc.

The facts in your documentary may be as true or as false as you like.

Here's an example I made:

CC653: The Reason Why Dolphins Play Dumb by ZMannZilla 10-07-16

DOLPHIN FACT! Dolphins are very intelligent and possess a human-like level of self-awareness! Wha...? HUMAN-LIKE? What kind of speciesist crap is that? Maybe humans have DOLPHIN-LIKE levels of self-awareness, ever consider that? Friggin bitch-ass humans, probably think they're the only ones that can talk too... DOLPHIN FACT! Despite being air-breathing mammals, dolphins live their entire lives in the ocean! Oh shit, it's Cthulhu! I hunger for the souls of highly intelligent and self-aware mammals. DOLPHIN FACT! Dolphins act stupid because they live next door to Cthulhu and totally know what's up! Uh... Eeek eeek ek ek ek ek eeek? Oh right, the fish here are all dumb as rocks. Let's see how those land primates are coming along. Bye bye fishy!

Make it funny, and make it about something in nature. GOGOGO

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

CC 653: The Circle of Jerk by brycekain 10-11-16

The life span of an average k9 living on the streets is about half of those who live in residential areas. Here we see the k9's owner has overdosed on his favorite illicit substance. Hungry, the poor dog must now feast on his beloved companion in order to survive. Thus the circle of life is completed... for the crack whore. *pssssss* AAAAAAAH....

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

Amazing Elephant Facts by TheGovernor 10-12-16

Elephants are fluent in over thirty different languages, but still have difficulty understanding your average Scotsman I'm sorry I still did not quite catch that Ah say'd yeerh divvinaae louuk lieek yaw peecture ahn Tinder Elephants can see through time and space, but are forbidden from interfering by the council of telepathic space chimps. Happy Gilmore was ok but If we don't stop Adam Sandler now this truely will become the darkest timeline I'm sorry, we've looked into the void of pain too, but it is the will of the council that we should not interfere Although they are the symbol of the Republican party in the United States, most Elephants could actually be descrbed as Libertarian Free market for the win, yeah! So does that include the Ivory trade?

CC653 Penguins by Porternotes 10-12-16

...after laying her egg, the female penguin bids farewell to the male... Y'all bettuh keep an eye on this lil' muffukka while I'm gone. Where you goin'? ...the male will care for the egg until it hatches and the female returns... What?! You gonna ask me where I'm goin'? None a yo bitch-ass bidness! I'm s'posedta stay up in this cold until you decide to come home?! Ssshhhiiiittt... ...the females depart en mass and the males gather together against the elements... Nay-Nay! You ready to pull up out dis biyotch?! Dis some bullshit. I don't even know dis egg mine. Brother, get the Maury Show on the phone.

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https://www.porternotes.com

March On by four_legged_tripod 10-13-16

I'm Morgan Freeman, here to talk to you again about the wonders of the Penguin. Hollywood has focused on their feet making movies about them marching, surfing, and dancing. But there is much more to them than their feet. Their tuxedo-like appearance is called countershading, used as camouflage in the water but also making them very sexy looking. Like whales, they have a layer of fat under their skin called "blubber" used to keep them warm but also giving them more cushion for the pushin'. Dude? Why do you have Morgan Freeman dick breath? Don't judge me. You know I have a thing for freckles.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

CC: 653 "Nature Calls" by Makin_d_bacon 10-13-16

In Africa, the native's tiny huts get trampled by herds of wild elephants on a rampage! Should I trample it? No! Sit on it...but wait till somebody is inside. hehehe Sadly, their homes get ravaged by other beasts & insects as well, leaving many homeless, injured or even DEAD! So you suck out all their blood? That's so cool! Maybe...but YOU get to cover em in maggots! But that's all the time we have this week on "Kangaroo Jack's Nature Safari"! Tune in next week when we... ...head north to the Arctic Circle... ...to film the always fun & popular clubbing of baby seals. You won't want to miss it!

Judging to commence soon. Get those last minute entries in.

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

CC 653: The More You Know by brycekain 10-16-16

The housefly, or Musca domestica, is a fly of the suborder Cyclorrhapha. Their average life span can range from 14 to 90 days. FUUUUUUCK!!!!! Incredible! We just witnessed one of the fly's natural enemies: an asshole who bought a Google Car.

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

After much sweating of details and watching of presidential debates, I've decided that anything with Morgan Freeman in it can't be bad.

For that reason, the win goes to four_legged_tripod. The carcass of CC654 is yours to claim as the rightful alpha of this pack.

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

Well I'll be a monkey's uncle. I suppose that should be the next documentary.  Thank you for the tip of cap.  I'll see what I can do for number 654.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke