Let's get sexy, Stripcreator. Or just take a nap. Whatever it is you like to do in a bed, let's do that.

This contest is simple: the only background you can use is "inside/bed". That's the only rule. Everything else goes.

Here's a modest example.

CC466: Turn Me On Dead Man by ZMannZilla 12-28-10

Oh, just forget it. What? You said you were into pretending I was a dead guy! Yeah, but you're not doing it right! I'm lying as still as I can, what more do you want?! Your skin doesn't sparkle. Wait, I think my little sister has glitter. Be right back.

Judging will commence once I get done having sex with this sleeping bed-maker.

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

Any dialogue I could write would be gratuitous

by evil_d, 2-01-17

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Rebus in which Narrator2 has trouble enunciating by kaufman 2-01-17

Good night. Sleet tied. Don't let the bedbugs bite.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

RCL no. 5592 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 2-02-17

OW! OW! OW! OW! You told me you're an "anal veteran". I AM!! OW! OW! OW! OW! What am I missing?

RCL no. 5598 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 2-02-17

I've taken off all my skin, Phreaky, and you can clearly see I don't have an STD... Therefore, we can have sex now, right? Wrong! Why not??? Because, I don't sleep with zombie-looking mother-fuckers! YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!! I HAVE NEVER FUCKED MY MOTHER!!!!!EVER!!!!!!!!!

CC 661: Ancient Chinese Secret by kaufman 2-03-17

So we're stuck here? Sure looks it. For all eternity? For all eternity. Who'd have thought those messages would actually come true? Look, for the thousandth time, I'm sorry I said we should append "in bed" to our fortunes! I thought it would be funny.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 661 "Upon Further Reflection..." by Makin_d_bacon 2-03-17

I feel sort of odd? Out of place, right? I think I know what to do. Then do it. Isn't this better? Much! At least NOW we match the mirror.

CC 661 "In the seats, er, Beds of power!" by atomiclunch 2-03-17

In a Manhattan Penthouse, basking in the afterglow... Melania, won't your husband be pissed about this? Not really, no. Since becoming president, he's got access to the technology to fuck the ONLY person he's every REALLY wanted to... Meanwhile, in D.C. My GOD this is awesome! I'm gonna give it to you like I'm givin' it to the country! You mean, bigly? Nope! Bite that pillow, I'm goin' in dry! Can I call you Steve, again?

I suppose he's been told to do that often enough.

Hillary Under a Rest by Namgubed 2-03-17

"... to console the family of the first casualty of war under his administra-tion, President Trump boards Marine One to Dover Air Force Base ..." ... Zzzzz ... "... with his daughter, Ivanka." ... ZzzzzT *snort* #&!!*@$$!! 24-hour news cycle!

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

Deflategate II by kaufman 2-05-17

Oh my god, I overslept. I've missed the Super Bowl! Jesus, how'd that happen? Wait a minute ... Just as I thought. Goddamned Brady lowered my Sleep Number 10 points.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Vows by choadwarrior 2-06-17

I thought you were symbolically married to God. I am. So he's mythologically okay with all this? The New Testament God is a liberal cucktard.

An old one:

pillow talk

shut up you piece of sheet! fluff you!

by four_legged_tripod, 10-08-12

And one with fresh sheets:

Real Life: Animal Instinct by four_legged_tripod 2-07-17

Remember when we were dating and you were going through your furry phase? Yeah. I told you that the only way I would do anal was if we were both in furry costumes. We learned that night that the answer to the question, "What does the fox say", was "Ouch! Ouch! Ouch, goddamit!"

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

PETA Remakes The Godfather

AAAIIIIIIIIIEEEE!!!!

by kaufman, 2-07-17

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

RCL no. 5613 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 2-09-17

Dear Lord... I've been a very good Christian my whole life and I only ask for one thing from you tonight... Please, please, PLEASE give my fat fuck of a wife a fatal heart attack before she makes it to the bed and makes me perform sex with her nasty, blubbery ass! "Here I come, baby... Prepare for some hot, sloppy fuck- *ACK* MY HEART!! [ *gasp* ]" THA-A-A-A-A-N-NK YO-O-O-O-OU!!!!

RCL no. 5634 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 2-14-17

I DON'T SEE WHAT THE PROBLEM IS, BABY!! THE DOCTOR AT THE CLINIC PROMISED THE HORMONE THERAPY WOULD MAKE ME ABLE TO FUCK YOU LIKE A GOAT!! YOU TOLD ME THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED, GODDAMMIT!!!

From Russia with Love by TheGovernor 2-15-17

Greetings Comrade Who the hell are you? I am Russian Chicken And what are you doing in my bed? I have, how you say...'Come home to roost'

Lots of great entires here, and I'll admit I lost some sleep trying to pick a winner.

That said, I had to give points for originality and making me laugh out loud, so the nod goes to kaufman for this gem:

Deflategate II by kaufman 2-05-17

Oh my god, I overslept. I've missed the Super Bowl! Jesus, how'd that happen? Wait a minute ... Just as I thought. Goddamned Brady lowered my Sleep Number 10 points.

Take it away!

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."