Okay, I'm staying a bit longer.

Damn you, Fuzzyman! Damn your cunning plan!

Thanks for the victory though.

I'm feeling the need to move on and try some new things, so I'm taking a break from SC.com. I will be gone a few months at least, maybe longer, maybe permanently. Whichever it turns out to be, this should be a fun way to say goodbye.

The rules are quite broad: I want strips and series about holidays (or "vacations" for you North American types). Explain why someone feels like they need one, portray them deciding where they want to go, show how it goes well or badly... that kind of thing, and all kinds of combinations. Base it around SC one-note characters, famous people, SC regs, Hernandez, or whoever you like.

Okay, that's the requirement. Now for the options...

This is contest 144 - twelve squared, a dozen dozens, one gross. In honour of the occasion, extra credit will be given for entries that include the words "gross", "dozen", and/or "square". This is optional, because I don't want it crippling an otherwise funny strip - leave it out if it ruins the joke.

You have about three days before I begin judging, and I will post a "judging imminent" warning a few hours before.

Have fun.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

w00t first post ++

Ok, to get some of the humor, you have to translate some of the lines. Trust me, it is worth it. Especially because it makes Bush look even more stupid. Enjoy! Special comic numbers in this series: 90909

CC 144: Dubya Takes a Vacation #1 by punkrockskaboy 9-29-02

George Dubya and wife In Washington: Honey. Am I stupid? No. no George. We have been through this. You are gifted remember? It's just that the press is picking on me and saying I'm dumb, which is a gross misunderestimation. I'm not dumb, I just mix up my words. Tell me I'm smart baby. Now honey, I can't say that. That would be a lie and lies are bad. Lies are the basis of politics! You should know that. and you should know how to form a sentence. You don't see me complaining.

CC 144: Dubya Takes a Vacation 2 by punkrockskaboy 9-29-02

You know what I need? Not again George, we just did it three days ago. Not that honey. I need a vacation. Where are you gonna go? You have to lead the nation! That's right...well, tell Dick he can hold the reigns for a while. He'll have a ball! *sigh* Ok, you're the boss. I'll pack your bags.

CC 144: Dubya Takes a Vacation 3 by punkrockskaboy 9-29-02

So there Bush went. Trekking through unknown territories: Say little girl, where am I? You're in the backyard dad. Oh! Hi honey. Here, take this hundred dollars and buy yourself something nice. Discount liqour here I come! I wonder how those folks are getting those yellow transportamobiles to stop?

CC 144: Dubya Takes a Vacation 4 by punkrockskaboy 9-29-02

Finally, after mastering public transportation, Bush was on his way: I didn't know Montana was so big! Where are those transportamobiles? George walked and walked, then finally found someone who could help him. Why hello there, I am the president. I was wondering if you could tell me where I can find a good time? Why sure brotha. Just come with me, I'll find you the finest action in Nevada! LAURA!? How'd you get to Nevada? My pimp, I mean, my friend flew me here for a week.

CC 144: Dubya Takes a Vacation 5 by punkrockskaboy 9-29-02

Bush got on a plane to Europe. Excuse me, stewardess? Can I get one of those little bags of peanuts. I love those things. Air force 1 stocks 'em for me. Sure thing Mr. Bush. Spain: No comprende Ingles No problema. ¿Come usted los pies de chicas jóvenes cuando bailar el tango? ¡Enfermo jode! ¡Agradeza a amigo!

[Click to view comic: 'CC 144: Dubya Takes a Vacation 6']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 144: Dubya Takes a Vacation 6']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 144: Dubya Takes a Vacation EIGHT']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 144: Dubya Takes a Vacation 9']

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Welcome to Bohemia. Population: a lot Cash flow: a little

DexX, glad to see you won and have decided to stick with us a little bit longer. I will miss you very much.

Now to quote you from my Her Majesty's Secret Cervix strip "pardon the intrusion".

And Fuzz, I'm just kidding buddy. Thanks for the honorable mention.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Without Warning #21 - Dance Dance Low Resolution by Mack_J 9-30-02

This is just what I needed to relax and recuperate! A night out at a dance club! Huey Lewis was right, it's hip to be square! Hey there Red Robot, can I buy you a drink? NO, BUT YOU CAN DO ME THE PLEASURE OF BEING CRUSHED! Wait! I mean yes! Damn reflexes...

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The dreams that stuff is made of.

CC 144:Aye-Ayes Wide Shut by kaufman 9-30-02

I wonder what's a good kind of vacation to go on. I know; I'll ask an Internet newsgroup. I have some vacation time coming to me. Do you think it would be fun for me to spend two weeks on a cruise? Yes ... Absolutely ... Don't miss the opportunity ... You'll love it ... I wish I could come along ... Go for it! ... That is so gross and disgusting ... Do it! ... You have to! ... Everyone seems to approve, except ... Nicole Kidman.

CC 144: The Bangor Sisters? by kaufman 9-30-02

Compatriot Americans: Imperative necessity eradicating Iraqi dictator ... After the White House replaced him with Lieutenant Polysyllabic, Captain Monosyllabic returned to his travel agency job. No, I'm sure my sister and I DON'T want to spend our vacation in Chad. Don't you have any other suggestions where we could go? Maine.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

quote:

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CC 144: Dubya Takes a Vacation 5 by punkrockskaboy 9-29-02

Bush got on a plane to Europe. Excuse me, stewardess? Can I get one of those little bags of peanuts. I love those things. Air force 1 stocks 'em for me. Sure thing Mr. Bush. Spain: No comprende Ingles No problema. ¿Come usted los pies de chicas jóvenes cuando bailar el tango? ¡Enfermo jode! ¡Agradeza a amigo!

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CC 144 - God Save the Queen by vichyssoisegirl 9-30-02

Hi honey. I see you made it back to the hotel in one piece. Did you have fun playing with those nice English boys? I sure did. They showed me where they hung out, and we went to the store, and I saw the Underground... That's nice. And they taught me this cool game you play with a cracke... Pack your stuff. We're getting out of this gross country. But tomorrow we were gonna go get pints, whatever those are.

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Bitchy Sauce Girl?

CC 144 - Walking in a Winter Wonderland by vichyssoisegirl 9-30-02

What a brilliant idea. Spend our honeymoon in Antarctica. Don't start with me again. How was I supposed to know this blizzard would hit and we'd have to spend the whole two weeks underground? Oh, forget it. What's on the entertainment calendar? Hmmm.... they're showing John Carpenter's 'The Thing' again at 8. Shoot me. Please. Ooo! Look over here! Ice!

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Bitchy Sauce Girl?

Getting Jr out of the way by Spankling 9-30-02

But Uncle Dick, didn't I just take a month long vacation? Why am I back at the ranch? Target practice, my boy! See those "detainees" blindfolded and tied against the split rail fence? Take yer best shot! BLAM! YEEEE-HAAAAW! I winged 'em Uncle Dick! Did 'ja see? He he... nice shootin' boy. Now reload that shotgun and try again. I'm going back to my undisclosed location to continue running the war. BLAM! Wow! I took out quite a few that time. Hey Uncle Dick! Round up some more evil doers, 'k? I'll have Ashcroft send over a batch. Aint nobody gonna track 'em down anyhow.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

It's this damn clarvoyance. I can't seem to get rid of it. Maybe some nyquil...

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Welcome to Bohemia. Population: a lot Cash flow: a little

CC 12^2: Hit The Road, Part 1 by deucepm 9-30-02

We gotta go on vacation. Uh...okay. Why? Well, you know...we need to relax. And we need a change of scenery. But we've only been in 30 strips. And we just did a storyline about finding a new background. *sigh* Look, the contest is about going on vacation, so let's go on vacation, all right? You sold out, man. It's not about the music anymore.

CC 12^2: Hit The Road, Part 2 by deucepm 9-30-02

So where are we gonna go? Well, we could visit our old college haunts...Bristol, Warwick, Newport... Rhode Island? You wanna go to Rhode Island? Hey, I know you hate it, but I grew up there. It still has great sentimental value for me. You once told me you wanted to light the entire state on fire and piss on its ashes. Plus, I've got a ton of bodies in the trunk I need to get rid of...

CC 12^2: Hit The Road, Part 3 by deucepm 9-30-02

Forget it. I'm not spending any more time than possible in Rhode Island. I've done my time. Well, aren't we pissy. Fine. Where do you want to go? The beautiful and charming Cape Cod, no doubt? Fuck that. I already live on the Cape year round. We need someplace totally different. Someplace we've never been. Someplace where you can buy a man's life for pennies. Yeah, but Tijuana sucks this time of year. Oh, excuse me, I didn't realize you were THE KING OF EVERYTHING.

CC 12^2: Hit The Road, Part 4 by deucepm 9-30-02

Canada? Too cold. Arizona? Too hot. Chicago? Too many APBs.

CC 12^2: Hit The Road, Part 5 by deucepm 9-30-02

Wait, I know! Let's go to Vegas! I've never been to Vegas! Hold it. Are you suggesting that just so we can do a bunch of Hunter Thomson rip-off strips filled with cheap, hackneyed drug humor? ...Yes. Fine. But I get to be Doctor Gonzo.

[Click to view comic: 'CC 12^2: Hit The Road, Part 6']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 12^2: Hit The Road, Part 7']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 12^2: Hit The Road, Part 8']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 12^2: Hit The Road, Part 9']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 12^2: Hit The Road, Part 10']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 12^2: Hit The Road, Part 11']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 12^2: Hit The Road, Part 12']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 12^2: Hit The Road, Part 13']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 12^2: Hit The Road, Part 14']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 12^2: Hit The Road, Part 15']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 12^2: Hit The Road, Part 16']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 12^2: Hit The Road, Part 17']
[Click to view comic: 'CC 12^2: Hit The Road, Part 18']

CC 12squared: movie magic by NeoVid 9-30-02

"Let's see all those movies we've been missing," you said. "It's a great way to use our time off," you said... Hey, I thought it was a good film. Yeah, you would. That was the worst movie I've ever seen. Yeah? What was wrong with it? "What was wrong with it!?" It was nonstop maiming and dismemberments! Hey, the reviews said that it would be a top grosser.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Fish on a bike by Spankling 9-30-02

On the cellphone... Where am I? I'm sitting with a dozen square-bottomed yokels, stranded in East Stumble-Fuck, just_60_miles_from_the_dead center of Noplace with a dead Boxster S. Say.. mister? Now I got Gomer's cousin leanin' his gross ass-crack all over it tryin' to figure out where the flint is! I would KILL to fly Nigel out here to fix it. ... ! ... So... NO I don't find this long drive in the country as god-spankin-wonderful as you said it would be! When I get back from vacation, ho, I'm cuttin'_your_crack_allowance. I guess he wont notice if I cut his brake cable...

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Contest 144: Some much-needed rest by il_schmucko 9-30-02

A rainy day in One-Note Land RAARR! TOBOR SICK OF CORNHOLING. NEED VACATION. BUT TOBOR HAS ALREADY CORNHOLED ALL EARTHLINGS AND CAN'T GO BACK TO THEIR COUNTRIES. TOBOR WILL BE DAMNED! A SPACE SHIP! That's right. I'm a space ship today. Later, on a low-budget planet far, far away... bzzt...welcome to fagulon zeta... bzzt...prepare to be cornholed. RAARR!! CHANGE WILL DO TOBOR GOOD!

Contest 144b: Cowboy Cabin-Fever by il_schmucko 9-30-02

So I says, "Them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!" Ha, ha! Christ, I need to get away from him.

Contest 144c: Obligatory. by il_schmucko 9-30-02

Thanks for vacationing in beautiful Bali, where we've just passed a law making all forms of debauchery legal! All right! I'm your official welcomer, Maura, and I command you to lick chocolate syrup off my tits now. Yes ma'am! *BZZZZZZZZT!* WAKEY WAKEY! TIME TO GO TO WORK, MOTHERFUCKER! Jesus Harold Christ on a Ritz cracker.

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"I don't know who you are, schmucko, but you rule." - lara7 | christ@myself.com

dozen it?

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"I don't know who you are, schmucko, but you rule." - lara7 | christ@myself.com

Indie entry.

CC 144: G'day Blimey Mates On The Barby Holiday by akirajim 9-30-02

Sucky sucky five dollah. Is no good! No more funney! We will take vacation from empty white space. Where to cap'n? Sunny Tokyo-3, place of NERV HQ and the Impact that is Third. But is nothing here! Then let us go to diesel, site of diesel. I am making the sly jokes about rapping, mentstruation, pornography, etc. This job's a success!

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~But now you realize / He's not selling any alibis~

CC 12 [ ]ed: Arctic Vacation by BigEvilDan 9-30-02

CC 12*12*12*12*12*12*12*12*12*12*12*12: Tourist Trap by BigEvilDan 9-30-02

Knock knock! I'm coming. Hello sir, would like to purchase these rocks glued into the shape of a wombat to remember your vacation. Well, it looks a little pricey, but it would be nice to have something to show my friends. The souvenir industry: you can't escape us! Wait a minute, this is MY house!

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Beware Impastas by kaufman 9-30-02

Hey Hernandez, it sounds like we're finally going to get a decent meal tonight. And Italian too. I heard General Lee say he was taking us all to Spaghettisburg. A square meal? I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse. I'm going to try and get to the front of the line. I nead a volunteer to be on the vanguard for this little foray. Ooh, ooh, pick me! Welcome to Spa Gettysburg, where the hot rivers of blood will clean out your pores. Medic!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC144: ( . ) ( . ) by dcomposed 9-30-02

We are in Antarctica. It is fun. Oh no! now we are in hell!

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Just trying to get away from the grind by Spankling 9-30-02

So this is Club Hedonism... Yes. Is there anything sir would like sent up to his room? A young woman? No? A dozen young woman? No? I don't think so. I just... A young boy, perhaps? Or maybe a masked stranger tied to a square of iron nailed to your wall? Actually I was hoping for an extra pillow and a 10:30 AM wake up call. I'm beat. We're all out of pillows. You gross pervert.