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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

That would be '34' for all you geek-impaired people out there.

Well crap. There's something weird about winning these things. You keep hoping you will, then when you do, you wish you hadn't 'cause thinking up a good contest is such a *****. (At least I know wirthling feels like this, so I know I'm not alone.)

I was tossing around a few ideas that I nixed for one reason or another. My favorite of which was having another dis wirthling contest. But I decided that we could all just do that on our own time.

1. Use an animal in your strip somewhere. Elephant, Toothgnip, etc. Whatever. Just once is enough, but more would be just ducky.
2. Stealing Obi's idea, your comic must contain a line from a Johnny Cash song. Obscure is fine, just mention the song it's from when you post your strip.
3. The only vowel you can use is 'Y'. Sometimes.
4. Rule 4 is a joke.
5. You must be naked while writing your strip. Bonus points if you are naked and astride a donkey.
6. Rule 5 is not a joke. I'll be checking. (Don't forget my inter-dimensional residency. I see everything).
7. Yes, boorite. I saw that. And even though it's illegal in 37 US states and Canada, I'll let it slide.
8. Use the word 'manboobs' in your strip at least once.
9. Gabe likes to complicate things by posting too many rules.
10. Gabe likes to refer to himself in the third person.
11. Don't worry if you screw up and forget something, like being naked. Gabe is a kind and loving diety and only rarely strikes people dead for not paying attention.
12. Judging will be Wednesday night 9:00 EST sharp. (As always, this means 6:42 in Baltimore, much to Mike's chagrin.)

That's it. I think.

---
100 pounds of **** in a 25 pound sack.

6-04-01 4:00am (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

I would bow down to tradition and post an entry of my own making, but the corporate computer security goons somehow disable my ability to post comics. Oddly enough, posting to the message board still works just fine.

---
100 pounds of **** in a 25 pound sack.

6-04-01 4:03am (new)
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ladyjdotnet
Snitcreator

Member Rated:

If the only vowel we can use is "y", how are we supposed to use the word "manboobs"?

---
I am a delicate ****ing flower.

6-04-01 7:40am (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

Well if you don't know I'm certainly not going to tell you.

---
100 pounds of **** in a 25 pound sack.

6-04-01 8:44am (new)
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Spankling
Looking for love in ALL the wrong places, baby!

Member Rated:

I've never entered one of these. How do I do it and is this the sort of thing you're looking for? (I must admit, getting naked in the office to do this was a bit embarrassing.)

http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?ID=20499

(And how do I include the comic image in these posts?)

So many questions, so little gray matter.
Spankling

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

6-04-01 10:32am (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

Hit the 'quote' link underneath this post and take a gander at the code. It'll make sense when you see it.

You can use comic for comics, url for a normal link to a web address, img for a link to an image file out on the web, as well as i and b for italics and bold, respectively. Just use the opening and closing tags with brackets around them.

Obi & Gabe Go Clubbing by gabe_billings
4-07-01
Obi, my man, tonight we're gonna hit the clubs. Do some dancin', hit some chicas, SHAZAAM! But first you gotta go change.
I already did. I'm even wearing vinyl pants!
If you wear those shoes, you're not gonna get any chicks. You're gonna get beat up.
What's wrong with my shoes?
They've got velcro closures.
But they're comfy!

---
100 pounds of **** in a 25 pound sack.

6-04-01 11:47am (new)
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wirthling
supercalifragilisticexpialadosucks

Member Rated:

quote:
3. The only vowel you can use is 'Y'. Sometimes.
4. Rule 4 is a joke.

Was rule 4 supposed to say "4. Rule 3 is a joke"?

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

6-04-01 12:02pm (new)
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Spankling
Looking for love in ALL the wrong places, baby!

Member Rated:

You are a saint (today). Let me try that...

Ring of Fire by Spankling
6-04-01
Love Is A Burning Thing.
What?
And It Makes A Fiery Ring.
Are you asking me out on a date?
And It Burns, Burns, Burns!!
Yes! I just knew having that manboob-ectomy would pay off!

Yoinks! It works!

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

6-04-01 12:08pm (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

quote:
quote:
3. The only vowel you can use is 'Y'. Sometimes.
4. Rule 4 is a joke.

Was rule 4 supposed to say "4. Rule 3 is a joke"?


Some gleebs are fronks. All fronks are zoops. If some gleebs are zoops, then Rule 4 isn't not not a joke, unless there are 27 vowels in this sentence, in which case Rule 4 is a joke, as is Rule 3. If you're actually wasting time figuring this out, you need help.

---
100 pounds of **** in a 25 pound sack.

6-04-01 1:02pm (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

For those that have too much trouble dealing with my stupid rules...

quote:

1. Use an animal in your strip somewhere. Elephant, Toothgnip, etc. Whatever. Just once is enough, but more would be just ducky.
2. Stealing Obi's idea, your comic must contain a line from a Johnny Cash song. Obscure is fine, just mention the song it's from when you post your strip.
3. Use the word 'manboobs' in your strip at least once.
4. Judging will be Wednesday night 9:00 EST sharp. (As always, this means 6:42 in Baltimore, much to Mike's chagrin.)

---
100 pounds of **** in a 25 pound sack.

6-04-01 1:03pm (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

Rule #532: You Must Read This Comic by gabe_billings
6-04-01
Rule #36: Gabe can command vast armies of monkeys with his mind.
Rule #127: Gabe gets to refer to himself in the third person. Gabe gets to do this often.
Gabe #41: Gabe gets to decide who lives and who dies.
Rule #410: Gabe's glaring typographical and grammar errors need not be corrected, as he is God.
Rule #65: Gabe can disembowel people with a piece of dry toast.
Rule #182: Gabe can not be committed, despite obvious indications of mental instability.

---
100 pounds of **** in a 25 pound sack.

6-04-01 1:11pm (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

quote:

So it's not written by Johnny Cash (Was written by Chris Cornell), but he did do a version of it.

I've got this album. It rules.

---
100 pounds of **** in a 25 pound sack.

6-04-01 1:12pm (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

CC34: The Golden Goose Cashes In by kaufman
6-04-01
Oh man, my butt is really acting up and ... WHOA!
Thynk yyy fyr rylyysyng my frym thys spyt whyry Y'vy byyn trypped fyr syx cyntyryys.
O Speech-Impediment-Afflicted Genie, can you grant me a wish?
Ys lyng ys yyy rymyyn yn thys spyt, yyyr fyndyst dysyry wyll cymy tryy.
So as long as I stay here, I can lay manboobs instead of golden eggs? Goodbye hemmerhoids, I'm gonna sit right here until I die!

The quoted song is of course "Big River".
==Ken

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

6-04-01 1:49pm (new)
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primerAL
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

Hey, I tried...

Car Mods and Spouses - a how-to on having both by primerAL
6-03-01
Situation: you just spent the family's vacation money on car mods. How to be a winner?
I just installed a nitrous oxide kit in the station wagon, honey
you did WHAT???
Here's what happens when you provide a good, solid bull**** answer:
I was thinking of you, sweetie. You need it for the freeway onramps, and for getting the tykes to soccer practice on time
Oh you're so thoughtful, lemme give you a big hug
DARR!
Babe, I get sick of being taunted by high school kids in their sports cars... this way, I'll spank their manboobs reaaaal good
The kids and I are going to mother's

6-04-01 2:33pm (new)
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ObiJo
Eamus Catuli

Member Rated:

CC34: It takes 10 to Tango by ObiJo
6-04-01
Filled with rage then Billy Joe reached for his gun to draw,
  ?  
  ?  
But the stranger drew his gun and fired before he even saw,
  ?  
  ?  
As Billy Joe fell to the floor the crowd all gathered 'round, and wondered at his final word,
Manboob.
  ?  

---
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

6-04-01 3:16pm (new)
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norielX
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

I just heard Manboobs, and I come a runnin'! I just think it's funny how you all caught the Manboob bug...

Kettle, Black: CC34 Entry by norielX
6-04-01
Eeewww...that is so gross! You've got Bitch Tits!
Oh yeah, get a load of the Camel Toe you're sporting!
Hmph! Boy Mamms, Guy Knockers!
heh, Chick Scrots...Whore Rocks...
...Man Boobs...so there...
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named 'Sue.'

--A Boy Named Sue

---
norielX http://www.stripcreator.com/comiclist.php?author=norielX "> http://www.stripcreator.com/comiclist.php?author=norielX

6-04-01 3:32pm (new)
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gabe_billings
President and CEO of Wirthlingsux Inc.

Member Rated:

quote:

1. Use an animal in your strip somewhere. Elephant, Toothgnip, etc. Whatever. Just once is enough, but more would be just ducky.

For the relative newcomers, I should clarify that I didn't mean use the name of an animal, but rather one of the comic characters that happens to be an animal. The flamingo lookin' bird, the squirrel, etc. If you already made your comic, don't sweat it too much. (Someone squeezed a camel in there... I assume trying to adhere to the rule.) I'm not all that much of a stickler for the rules. As long as you maid a valiant effort.

Unless you've been around for the last thirty contests or so. Those ****ers better damn well get it right or I send the monkey hit squad to their house.

---
100 pounds of **** in a 25 pound sack.

6-04-01 3:47pm (new)
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wirthling
supercalifragilisticexpialadosucks

Member Rated:

CC34: Maximum Insecurity... by wirthling
6-04-01
San Quentin, you've been livin' hell to me. You've hosted me since nineteen sixty three.
I've seen 'em come and go and I've seen them die. And long ago I stopped askin' why...
That is, until they put this new guy in my cell...
SURRENDER ITS PRECIOUS MANBOOBS TO CHUCKY! CHUCKY MUST HAVE ITS MANBOOBS NOW! AIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

- "San Quentin"

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

6-04-01 4:50pm (new)
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primerAL
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

quote:

For the relative newcomers, I should clarify that I didn't mean use the name of an animal, but rather one of the comic characters that happens to be an animal.

Whoops. Here's a legit entry

CC34: Good fer nothing goat by primerAL
6-04-01
Well shucks sheeeit. I cayn'ts gets none milk outta this here goat
I better gives Bobby a call, I reckon he cayn help our itty bitty situation
I's be in dire need for milk, Bobby. This be life or death, son
I told you, these are MANBOOBS. They DO NOT produce milk

6-04-01 5:23pm (new)
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primerAL
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

quote:
5. You must be naked while writing your strip. Bonus points if you are naked and astride a donkey.

I couldn't find a donkey so I drove through the boon docks, hit a deer, and sat on it while I created the comic on laptop using Ricochet. I'm a stickler for rules.

quote:
8. Use the word 'manboobs' in your strip at least once.

Remember that's plural. A singular 'manboob' will only count as 1/2 of a legitimate comic strip. Please get this right, folks.

6-04-01 5:29pm (new)
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ObiJo
Eamus Catuli

Member Rated:

quote:
Remember that's plural. A singular 'manboob' will only count as 1/2 of a legitimate comic strip. Please get this right, folks.
Hey, if Johnny Cash wrote the lyric as 'manboob' then, by God, that's how I'm gonna say it.

---
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

6-04-01 6:11pm (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

quote:
quote:
Remember that's plural. A singular 'manboob' will only count as 1/2 of a legitimate comic strip. Please get this right, folks.
Hey, if Johnny Cash wrote the lyric as 'manboob' then, by God, that's how I'm gonna say it.

Been playing that "Love, God, Manboob" collection again, have we?

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

6-04-01 6:31pm (new)
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norielX
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

quote:

(Someone squeezed a camel in there... I assume trying to adhere to the rule.) I'm not all that much of a stickler for the rules. As long as you maid a valiant effort.

*chuckle* I guess you have to squeeze the camel to get the "toe." That was me, I overlooked the animal rule, so I'll just go off to my corner and cut off a testicle to atone for this transgression...

---
norielX http://www.stripcreator.com/comiclist.php?author=norielX "> http://www.stripcreator.com/comiclist.php?author=norielX

6-04-01 6:36pm (new)
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primerAL
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

Are aliens considered animals? I have one posing as Sam Cassel of the Houston Roc... I mean Milwaukee Bucks.

NBA: What opponents talk about after the game by primerAL
6-04-01
Dikembe Mutombo, your team just waxed our asses in the Eastern Final... we suck!
Sam Casell, it ees okey. If joo pley wid heart, yoo are de winner
Our team sucks because we tried to play rough but we just couldn't hang yo. And I even tried to trip Iverson on the 7th game.
Yeah, that ees de reason why you guys lost. It's becoos yoo SUCK A FAT WAD
As a madder oof fact, yoor goonna peh foor yoor entire team's ****tiness. Coom here yoo ball hogging crack beby, I'm gooing to slap yoor manboobs until dey becoome swoollen!
DARR!!!

6-04-01 6:39pm (new)
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wirthling
supercalifragilisticexpialadosucks

Member Rated:

quote:
yoo ball hogging crack beby

HAHA!

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

6-04-01 6:49pm (new)
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