Thank you for your submission, boorite.
Now this comment is a bit obscure to me, and I can't even tell if it's negative feedback. So why should I get defensive over it?
Hostility rating (1-10, 10 = highest): 3
Proper responses:
Defensive: Um, is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Concessionary: Yeah, I guess it is.
Diversionary: Mmm... white paper...
Improper response:
Hey retard, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?
quote:
This comic is like an anteater drinking the early morning dew in the blackest region of hell.
Thank you for your submission, evil_d.
This comment is fairly obscure, except that the reference to "the blackest region of hell" would immediately set off "negative comment" in my mind. That means this comment is an insult, albeit not a very offensive one.
Hostility rating (1-10, 10 = highest): 6
Saintly responses (God bless you if you respond this way):
Defensive: Well, I think the comic's pretty good, considering I had to follow some fairly tough rules, etc..
Concessionary: Back to the drawing board, I guess.
Diversionary: But why doesn't the anteater drink from the pond?
Acceptable responses (from least hostile):
What the hell does that mean? How about a straight answer, dude?
Well, your comics are like your mother sucking you off to pay for her crack addiction!
Thank you for your submission, MorningGlory.
This comment APOLOGIZES (very polite) and then states a simple, non-offensive fact, that the person simply does not get my comic. The only response better than this would be to downright lie and pretend to laugh! Still, I would get a bit offended if I felt that my comic was funny.
Hostility rating (1-10, 10 = highest): 2 (1 = downright lying)
Proper responses:
Defensive: Well, you see, the rule of this comic contest was to write comics where bongo pointed out a conspiracy, etc..
Concessionary: Yeah, it really isn't done right, I guess...
Diversionary: I like marmalade!
Improper response:
I can't help it if you're only smart enough to get fart and piss jokes, you dumbass.
quote:
I'd rather win the billion dollar jackpot lottery than read this comic.
Thank you for your submission, TheElPaso.
This comment is obviously a joke, but I still can read a negative critique from this, because othwerwise the person wouldn't say anything, or give positive feedback. The insult is well-cushioned, but it may be understandable if you respond to this critique in a negative way.
Hostility rating (1-10, 10 = highest): 4
Proper responses:
Defensive: I thought it was good, etc..
Concessionary: ...Damn, you're right, I'd rather win the lottery too.
Diversionary: That reminds me, I gotta check my lotto ticket. Wish me luck. :-)
Improper response:
And I'd rather set you on fire and piss all over you to put you out, but we can't have what we want now, can we?
quote:
i get it and i love it! wait, no i don't get it, oh well.
Thank you for your submission, theinwrenator.
Now, truth be told, I've been in sc.com a while and I know how all statements must be phrased in the form of a joke, but say that I don't know this, I would probably be a bit offended. Still, the critique is well-cushioned, though the "oh well" at the end might set off some red flags.
Hostility rating (1-10, 10 = highest): 4
Proper responses:
Defensive: Well, you see, the comic contest stated that you had to blah, blah, blah, etc..
Concessionary: I hope my next one's better.
Diversionary: Sorry, I can't tell, how do you pronounce your name?
Improper response:
Well, I get YOUR jokes; they're just not funny.
quote:
That comic landed me in the hospital for an emergency side transplant.
Thank you for your submission, andydougan.
This comment is more likely to be a compliment (and since I've gone through so many critiques, I'll treat this one as such :-) ). Why you would respond negatively to a compliment is beyond me.
Hostility rating (1-10, 10 = highest): 1
Proper response:
Hey, thanks, man.
Improper response (in fact, you are a sorry-ass loser if you respond in this manner):
Which is more than I can say for any of your comments.
Thank you for your submission, fuzzyman.
This is an inside joke; whether you know the joke or not, it's not offensive (although if you don't know the joke, you'd probably start wondering about the regulars around here).
Hostility rating (1-10, 10 = highest): 3
Proper responses:
Defensive: Um, no, I don't really think so...
Concessionary: You know, I think you're right, some sodomy WOULD make this comic good...
Diversionary: No, it needs some gamorry. *wait two millenia for someone to get the joke*
Improper response:
That's what your mother says when you kiss her goodnight.
