So, here we go. The 200th comic contest. Jiminy.

Looking back, I see we've already had a bunch of appropriate themes for a milestone CC like this one. There have been contests about trolls (165, 178), contests (178, 140), common SC themes (113), previous CCs (100), the passing of a character (126), and even one asking for intimate details of our personal lives (141). I'm sure there are still others on pages 4, 5 and 6 of this forum, but who wants to read all that crap?

My point is this: I thought for about five seconds and realized I can't make rules that sum up the last two and a half years of CCs. What's more, it wouldn't be fair, as many of today's regs haven't been around that long (my first contest was 54, so I know whereof I speak). Ergo, screw it. New rules, life goes on.

Have you noticed yet that I like to hear myself type? (:

1) We're coming up on August, which, in America anyway, is the only month of the year with no holidays. Make one. Show me how it's celebrated, what kind of gifts would be appropriate for it, how it came into existence or somesuch.

2) While Tobor and those nice oriental gals are unstoppable, other one-note characters struggle for ongoing popularity. Let's bring them back to the fore--extra points for using non sequitur donkey, Dr. Pedantic (points off if he misspeaks in any way), or even good ol' Mr. Sticks-His-Dick-In-Your-Ass-While-You're-Looking-The-Other-Direction. If the character you use is particularly obscure, please link to a comic that uses him or her.

3) This may have been implied above, but DO NOT use Tobor or the asiangirls.

4) I really like gerunds for some reason. Try to use at least one.

5) As always, be funny.

Judging shall be carried out by the end of Tuesday, SCST. Get to it, y'all.

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"I don't know who you are, schmucko, but you rule." - lara7 | christ@myself.com

CC 200: I Never Mention Him! by Rabid_Weasle 7-26-03

It's finally August 23rd! Hooray! Happy Cornholing Day! Hey... where's that big red robot guy... In his room crying because he's grounded.

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Poop.

CC 200: Happy Gerund Day by Chi_The_Cynic 7-26-03

Happy Gerund Day, Doctor Pedantic! What's so special about Gerund Day? Well, it's a celebration for the using of gerunds Haha, that was almost amusing... No no, I'm serious, that's what the celebrating of Gerund Day is all about! No, that's not what I meant - you see, when you said... and then again just now when you... oh, forget it.

August 2 in Australia by kaufman 7-26-03

RING, RING. I'll BRING WIRTHLING to BEIJING via WYOMING, even if I have to SWING him by a STRING DURING the whole THING. Who was that? The Gerundhog. Looks like we have six more weeks till SPRING.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 200: Zesty! by Trippingbillee 7-26-03

I know that it is Field Day of August, and that we are supposed to be celebrating the natrual and zesty taste of grass... Yes, grandma? Do you not like the taste of the grass in this field? It's not that. It's that I have cancer. I'm going to die in a few weeks. Swimming is the best form of excercise!

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Sex Piano.

CC 200: Elderly Nearsighted Woman Day by codehappykid 7-26-03

Oh, why can't I have my own holiday? Never fear! I will have created your holiday! But...you're just a homosexual in long underwear! Zounds! Mild-mannered Retroactive Man's secret will have been found out! Will you be wanting coffee? It will have made sense after six Retrobeers!

Whew, I think I got all the rules in there. I'm sure you will have all recognized the character...

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HALPUU!

CC 200 : Pink Donkey Wrangling Physics by niteowl 7-26-03

One day at the ranch... So I says, "Well, them filthy animals ain't gonna wrangle themselves!" Ha, ha! Yo, Dr. Pedantic...What the fuck is he talking about? Pink Donkey Wrangling Day is coming up on August 2nd, where donkeys are moved swiftly from field to barn, in a bizarre and ritualistic fashion, with their tails twitching every step of the way. Of course, *wrangling* is a loose term.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

Can't you just smell the fat hitting the sidewalk? by Spankling 7-26-03

sizzle... sizzle... Sweating like a pig is getting to be a hobby! That's why the fat cats in DC named August "Sizzling American Month!" sizzle... sizzle... Marketing Obesity can't be the most important thing on the books! Standing in the sun, you just burned off 176 calaries! sizzle... sizzle... Then eating this burger can't possibly do any harm! Note to self: Buy more McMadcow stock.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Newbies looking to brush up on old one-note characters might read the CC22 thread.

And don't forget Misremembered Platitude Trout.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Heh... Sorry, I couldn't resist.

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

What do you mean August has no holidays? It's chock full of stuff! (Most of this information courtesy of here.)

Calendar (1) by kaufman 7-27-03

AUGUST 1: Jerry Garcia's Birthday Sing the same song all day long. Then light a match at midnight, and the day will last an extra hour. AUGUST 2: Birthday of Bob Beamon, who shattered the long jump record in 1968. But we only celebrate in leap years. AUGUST 3: On this day in 1963, "Hello Mudduh, Hello Fadduh" was released. Ship your kids off to camp. I wanna go home!

Calendar (2) by kaufman 7-27-03

AUGUST 4: On this day in 1693, Dom Perignon made the first Champagne. I'll drink to that. AUGUST 5: Neil Armstrong's Birthday. If we can send one man to the moon, today's the day we can send them all there. AUGUST 6: Alexander Fleming's Birthday. Get yourself an STD.

Calendar (3) by kaufman 7-27-03

AUGUST 7: Celebrating the anniversary of the Ratification of the Scots Confession. I set fire to my dad. AUGUST 7.5: Be John Malkovich for a day. Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich. Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich. AUGUST 8: On this day in 1963. "Louie Louie" was released. Sing something unintelligible. Rooey Rooey, whoa-oh, Keen Iago hoe. Needn't noo?

Calendar (4) by kaufman 7-27-03

AUGUST 9: Anniversary of Nixon's Resignation And there is great rejoicing. AUGUST 10: Anniversary of Chicago's Incorporation. Registering some dead people to vote is a good way to celebrate. Hi, I'm with the League of Women Voters ... AUGUST 11: Hulk Hogan's Birthday. All your activities for the day are carefully scripted. Says here I should lie on my back and twitch my legs.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Calendar (5) by kaufman 7-27-03

AUGUST 12: On this day in 1915, "Of Human Bondage" was published. I think you know what to do. AUGUST 13: On this day in 1961, Berlin Wall construction began. Learn to pole vault. Wheeeee! AUGUST 14: On this day in 1984, DOS 3.0 was released. Hug a paper clip today. It looks like the system crashed again.

Calendar (6) by kaufman 7-27-03

AUGUST 15: On this date in 1939, "The Wizard of Oz" premiered. Land your house on someone. AUGUST 16. Anniversary of the deaths of Babe Ruth, Elvis and Shamu. Today might be a really GOOD day for going on a diet. AUGUST 17: Birthday of mathematician Pierre de Fermat. I have discovered a marvelous way to celebrate this day. Unfortunately, its description is too large to fit in this panel.

Calendar (7) by kaufman 7-27-03

AUGUST 18: Roman Polanski's birthday. AUGUST 19: On this day in 1977, Groucho Marx died. Let an elephant wear your pajamas today. AUGUST 20: HP Lovecraft's Birthday. Celebrate with the reading of the Necronomicon.

Calendar (8) by kaufman 7-27-03

AUGUST 21: Wilt Chamberlain's Next. Birthday.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Calendar (9) by kaufman 7-27-03

AUGUST 22: Dorothy Parker's Birthday. You might as well live. AUGUST 23: Keith Moon's Birthday. Trash a hotel room today. AUGUST 24: On this day in 1869, the waffle iron was invented. Welcome to Waffle House, what can I get you? A waffle and some hash browns smothered, diced, smashed, scraped, laced, flaked, cornholed, pureed and coagulated.

Cslendar (10) by kaufman 7-27-03

AUGUST 25: Monty Hall's Birthday. You can trade everything you own for what's in the box. AUGUST 26: Macauley Culkin's Birthday. Kids, booby-trap your house. YAAAAAAAHHHHH! AUGUST 27: Pee Wee Herman's Birthday. You know what to do. How much for 15 boxes of biscuits?

Calendar (11) by kaufman 7-27-03

AUGUST 28: In honor of the anniversary of Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech, spend the whole day sleepimg. zzzzzzzzzz... AUGUST 29: Michael Jackson's birthday. AUGUST 30: Mary Shelley's Birthday. Build a homicidal monster. RAAAR! NIETSNEKNARF WILL CRUSH YOU!!!

Calendar (12) by kaufman 7-27-03

AUGUST 31: On this date in 1935, the Pull! first national skeet shooting ***whoosh*** championship took place. *** BANG!!! ****

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I always wondered how they made hashbrowns.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Kaufman, you are a genius

CC200: Playing "one-note" for twenty minutes. by UnknownEric 7-28-03

...and so, in honor of Unknown Eric's birthday, I am hereby naming August 10th, National Cynicism Day! Here with more information on this historic day is Andy Antagonist. Cynicism is so fucking lame.

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I has a flavor!

August is "Kaddar Month" by umfumdisi 7-28-03

A bull in the hand is worth a stitch in nine. Mrph. You can't make a silk purse out of a pig in a poke? Mrph. You can lead a whore to water but you can't make her take American express! Mrph.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

CC 200: Free Balloons for the kids by mmyers 7-28-03

Howdy partner, yee-haw! I'm Marshall Dental Hygiene! Hey, how often does this happen to you? Moo? Gross, it smells horrible in here. Randy, did you forget to brush your tongue this morning or did you take a shit on yourself? Haha, you caught me Diane. I did, in fact, shit my pants. [whisper] Phew, that was close. I didn't have the courage to say that I forgot to brush my tongue this morning. Well, little buckaroo, fear not, 'cause August 7 is National Brushing Your Tongue day. Right, Flossie? And we'll be giving out free floss and tongue pads at the VD clinic this weekend. Bring the kids! I should have gone to bartending school.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

I hope kaufman never gets a life.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Dammit Kaufman - that was my idea....

mumble
mumble
bastid mumble

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There's a fine line between visionary and wacko ~ greinhart

quote:

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Dammit Kaufman - that was my idea....

mumble
mumble
bastid mumble

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If you were planning on entering... don't bother... kaufman whipped our swollen red asses yet again...

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Poop.

What are you all, wusses? Post something brilliant and hilarious, and kick my butt!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC: CC--Resistible Force vs. Illogical Object by umfumdisi 7-29-03

August 15, 2003 Hi, I'm Mr. Sticks-His-Dick-In-Your-Ass-While-You're-Looking-The-Other-Direction. these pretzels are making me thirsty August 15, 2003 Hey, did you know that today is Walk Backwards Day? I admire The Monkee's singing August 15, 2003 Just turn around, DAMMIT! my garbage can smells like Tootie

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

I felt like I might be able to get Kaufman with something until I read about Hulk Hogan's birthday. Damn him, damn him straight to the humorous, pun filled hell that spawned him.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.