stripcreator archive (2001-2026)

make a comic : top rated : forums

Jump to user:

All comics by ObiJo

Profile

Some of my series:
How things really work at Lowpass
OJ
Therawoodseet
Donkey Boy!
Inside the Actor's Studio
Hello Reader
R2BeatU
Awareness
Alphabet Soup
I think it's over between us

 

This is bulllllllllllsssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiittttttttttt by ObiJo 2-06-01
		Fuck.

 

My Own Private Acid Trip by ObiJo 2-06-01
This is some good shit	Yep, I'm fucking wasted.	Fuck! Let me do all the talking.

 

Love is a many splendid thing by ObiJo 2-07-01
Well, hello there, cutie. Tongue tied, can't speak..	Do you talk, honey? Say something damnit! Don't just stand here smiling! You're blowing it! Blowing it!	I think I picked another 'tard. Garr blarr oof brigle schneider.

 

HBC by ObiJo 2-07-01
...and now to weather, with our own Al Roker. Thanks, Kathie Lee. Today's High should reach 350 degrees, with of course no chance for rain, but a 100% chance for ash and sulfur showers...	Our 5 day forecast is as follows, Monday: hot, Tuesday: hella hot, Wednesday: damn hot, Thursday: dear god I'm burning, and Friday: Lord forgive me I can't take the heat.	And now to sports with Howie Long. Thanks, Al. The 38 hour Chess Marathon was watched in its entirety by a captive audience this past week...

 

Puff the Magic Drag Queen by ObiJo 2-07-01
	Haaaa....	Hachoo!!!!! Bless You.

 

'Ello Joe by ObiJo 2-07-01
		Just keep walking.

 

Such is life by ObiJo 2-07-01
		What a day! I got a raise, my son was just born, and the cancer has finally gone into remission! What could go wrong on a day like today?!

 

Lyrics are everything, people. by ObiJo 2-07-01
One of these things are not like the others...	One of these things don't belong...	One of these things are not like the others... Can you figure it out by the end of this song?

 

A newt? by ObiJo 2-08-01
My stomach's killing me. I shouldn't have eaten that purplish oyster.	RORRRRR!!! WTF?!?	ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! How about a nice shrubbery?

 

And the gold goes to..All your first place are belong to us! by ObiJo 2-08-01
Watching the 2000 Olympics... The 300 meter dash has started! USA takes an early lead, followed closely behind by...what the hell? A giant red robot has stormed the field! ALL YOUR RACE ARE BELONG TO US!	Honey, some damn robot just incinerated the runners.	Really? Well, baseball's next and I'm sure that will be safe.

 

It feels so good to be so bad by ObiJo 2-08-01
Sweety, I said I was sorry. I just got carried away in the heat of the moment. I can't believe you did that to me! I've told you a hundred times I don't like it in the butt!		Son, would you come out from under the bed? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...

 

The wheels on the bus go round and round... by ObiJo 2-08-01
You sure are looking yummy lately. So are you. Hey, look. I think we're both thinking the same thing, but we're each too afraid to say it. So let's count to three and both say it at the same time, okay?	1...2...3... Let's make love. Let's dress up as sheep, roll around in bacon grease, and cattle prod each other while yelling, "Bad little sheepy."	Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

 

Frankenstein in 3 panels by ObiJo 2-08-01
I love natural philosophy! I shall build a life! Build, Build, Build, all day long. Build, Build Build, while I sing this song.	Oh, creator, one that made me! Even you can not stand to look at me! All humanity hates me! Build me a female companion or I will kill everything you love! Never!!! I shall never build another like you! The evil that you are would only be doubled with another!	My creator is dead! I have killed everyone he loved, and he has chased me to the artic where he has died. He was the kindest of men, if only he could have been kind to his creation. Now I die too. Join us next week when Low Pass Theatre presents "How Stella got her Groove Back." It's funtastic!

 

The truth is out there by ObiJo 2-08-01
Isn't it funny how suddenly everyone thinks that the U.S. Supreme court is tainted just because the Trial Lawyer's Meat Puppet didn't whine his way to the presidency? Funny weird. Not funny haha.	Then on the other hand, they think the Ultra-Liberal Florida Supreme Court is the pinnacle of Justice. Now that court sounds tainted with all of its justices having been appointed by Democrats.	Oh, shit! Have the cameras been rolling the whole time and we've been speaking the truth? This comic is destined for onesville for sure. No, I can compensate...George Bush stupid man! Laugh with me!! George Bush dumb!!! Haha.

 

Executive Disorder by ObiJo 2-08-01
One, two, three, four! We don't need your fucking war! One two three... Son, as your president, I demand to know, just what in the hell are you doing?	I'm protesting the war, man. But we're not at war.	I'm talking about the war on drugs, man. Sniper One, take him out.

 

His name was Robert Paulson...sir by ObiJo 2-08-01
		The 1st rule of fight club is No Girls. The 2nd rule of fight club is No Weapons. The 3rd rule of fight club is No Weird Ass Dancing Skeleton Thingies. The 4th rule...ah fuck it, all of you get out.

 

"This sentence is not true" and other Zen Koans by ObiJo 2-09-01
I don't like jokes that are at all racial. I also don't like jokes deprecating women, or making fun of the Lord our God.		If you listen hard enough, you can just make out the rubbery sound as my sphincter muscles tighten.

 

Maybe the Hokey Pokey WAS what it's all about. by ObiJo 2-09-01
Here we see the mating ritual of the Bushy Tailed Forrest Squirrel of Northern Kenya. First, the female squirrel raises her tail, giving off a scent that males can detect from miles away.	Next, the female climbs up to a high place, looking for any male attracted by the scent.	Sometimes, however, an undesirable male is summoned. Trying to steal my Norman away from me, are you hussy?!....Mother NO!

 

You slab 'em we cab 'em by ObiJo 2-09-01
Working security at a graveyard doesn't have all the glory I envisioned. But at least if I shine this flashlight on my face I can scare passerbys.	Boo! Oh, hi Bug. Didn't realize it was you. What are you up to? Just grabbed a bite and now I'm watching the ghosts. They don't know they're dead and keep trying to leave the graveyard, the poor schmoes.	Taxi! Oh, that's right, just pass me by! Can't a brother ever get a cab in this town?

 

Comic Contest #1(The grass is always greener with Nutragrow) by ObiJo 2-09-01
It's almost time! What are you talking about?	I was an evil person in life, so I was damned to carry around this weight for a thousand years. But if I changed my evil ways, then I will be allowed into heaven. Otherwise... Otherwise you will be damned to a different hideous form for another thousand years. What a coincidence! Same deal with me and my thousand years end now too!	Well, ain't that a motherfucker. I knew biting that priest was a bad idea.

 

3 punchlines to comics I wisely decided against by ObiJo 2-09-01
So the bartender takes one look at him and says, "Stop standing on my liver!"	"You can interchange the tensor with the Wronskian Determinant if you want to," Einstein says, "but don't expect the electron spin to give a damn!"	To get to the other side! BWA haha!

 

But that's just my opinion, I could be wrong. by ObiJo 2-09-01
Benny achieved in death what he never could in life...to be a Dennis Miller Impersonator. ...so I said, "Hey God, what's the deal with the flesh falling off? I mean if GE can make plastic that lasts for 50,000 years, I'd think the creator could at least leave us a flesh spot or two."	But he just stood there with a look on his face like Ryne Sandberg trying to catch an infield fly while Jane Mansfield is sitting in the stands with a nipple poking out.	I don't mean to go on a rant here people, but we need to start controlling nipple exposure. I mean in the David Copperfield like saga of life, we don't need a wayward nipple diverting us from...

 

Tune in Tokyo by ObiJo 2-09-01
You know it's coming, but there's nothing you can do about it.	A monster so grotesque, so hideous, that your soul spasms when you think about it.	That's right, the punchline. Ga-Zilla!

 

The obligatory 1st Person Comic by ObiJo 2-09-01
		If you're done gawking, could I go back to the fetal position now?

 

The truth is out there, a response to a response by ObiJo 2-09-01
Boy, isn't it funny how all Republicans must be judgmental? I mean obviously they all go around calling people baby killers and hippies, right? Oh, of course they do! They don't just have different philosophical views, but rather they are hell bent on destroying all diversity! My liberal arts teacher told me.	In reality, aren't we all partisan? Look at the US Supreme Court. It voted right down party lines. So did the Florida Supreme Court. Unfornately, the Florida Supreme Court doesn't have a fair mix, all democratic justices. That's what makes it tainted. Some might miss that point.	Yes, I guess it's the classic debate of Interpreting Law vs. Making Law. We know which side the judiciary is supposed to be on, but often they don't follow it. Lastly, shouldn't there be a punchline? Here's two: devotees who don't realize BOTH major parties are corrupted, and Jesse Jackson giving advice to Clinton about infidelity.

 

Electile dysfunction...a response to comic 3837 by ObiJo 2-09-01
I can't believe that Dubya got elected! He has barely taken office and the economy is already tanking and consumer confidence is hitting its lowest level in years! Like a tax cut will fix everything!! Actually, Alan Greenspan, essentially the most powerful man in America, suggested a tax cut as well.		Oh.

 

The truth is out there...a response ad infinitum by ObiJo 2-09-01
So, is that space really for rent? THIS SPACE FOR RENT.	Ok, here's $5. Thank you. Enjoy.	This is turning into a debate. If you want to continue, get my email address off the forum. Then we can give displeasure only to each other and not the other readers. Come armed.

 

Onward christian collection plates... by ObiJo 2-09-01
So we're gonna debate outside, huh? Well, I'm not worried. As you can see, to my left, I've hired the two best writers from The Sopranos.	Actually, the writers from The Sopranos were unavailable. We're from Full House.	Maybe a treaty's in order.

 

Choose your own divine biblical adventure by ObiJo 2-09-01
It really is a great thing you're doing, giving your life to save us from our sins. Why, thank you, son. You don't know how refreshing it is to hear that. You wouldn't BELIEVE some of the things I hear around here.	So, how's the pussy in heaven?	OK, kids, now here's the choose-your-own-adventure part. For an upright Jesus comment, cover the right half of this panel and read the left. For a pimp daddy Jesus, cover the left and read the right Don't make me get off this cross and come down there. DEE-vine.

 

A note from your author by ObiJo 2-10-01
You know, sometimes when I write comics at 3am, I tend to get a little sloppy.		But that was the first time it cost a life.

 

Eye Contact #1 by ObiJo 2-10-01
		Some of us find eye contact very important.

 

Eye Contact 2: The Electric Boogaloo by ObiJo 2-10-01
		Ah, ha! You blinked first. What!?! I didn't blink, I just moved my eyes. No, bullshit. You lost, pay up.

 

Soon I'll be tired of burning shit...but not yet by ObiJo 2-10-01
You know what's wrong with this world? Yep. Blacks, gays, and jews.	Nope, nope, and nope. Well, what then!	Assholes.

 

Rred Meat in the year 3065 by ObiJo 2-10-01
Karen Bot, have your parent bots talked to you about the Flying Bots and the Honey Gathering Bots? No, I asked, but they said I have to be older before they tell me.	I'll tell you if you want. OK!	Well, maybe it would be easier if I just showed you. I hate you Milkman Dan Bot!

 

They call you Bongo, but you'll always be Festus to me by ObiJo 2-10-01
If you fucking aliens are gonna make your move, DO IT NOW!!! You bastards! Why can't you leave me in peace for one day!?! Wo, you're starting to scare me, Festus. You're having one of your paranoia attacks again. I'm outta here.	IS it all in my head? Yes, yes, maybe it is! Sweet Lord, thank you! I know what to do now: go to therapy and get rid of these terrible visions!	Meanwhile, inside Festus's Frontal Lobe... Ok, so I'm thinking we wait till he comes out of therapy and then we go tell him that the therapist is one of us. Ooo, I like.

 

This isn't funny, it's just Life by ObiJo 2-10-01
25 years ago... When are people gonna realize it's not about the money? It's all about the love, man, and treating everyone with kindness. It's about beauty.	Now... Get to work, you lousy bastard! Jesus, why do I put up with this bullshit?	25 years from now...

 

Death visits us all,luckily for Alan Alda,not alphabetically by ObiJo 2-10-01
Your time is up. I am about to slay you and send you to your eternal resting place. But first, could you tell me where the Little Boy's Room is? I have to tinkle. Umm..yeah, down the hall, first door on the right.	Bobby, what luck!!! I mean, uh, good to see you. I got you something. Close your eyes, count to 10, and then open them. I'll be right back with it. OK! 1...2...3...	And now my scythe shall cut through you like a knife through warm butter. ...10. Waiiiittt a minuuutttte, you're not a puppy.

 

I stole this joke from my friend. Dont' tell him by ObiJo 2-10-01
Good morning, class. Today we'll be discussing Isaac Newton. Newton was a great man who invented both Physics and Calculus. At the age of 20, he didn't even know geometry, but just 3 years later...		Newton invented Physics AND Calculus? What an asshole!

 

By Menon by ObiJo 2-10-01
A cowboy and a chicken are in this graveyard, and the chicken says, "Hey, who"...No, wait, that's not how it goes. Hey, who	Oh yeah, Ok. The Grim Reaper and Puff the Magic Dragon are on this spaceship together...Wait, damnit, that's not how it goes either.	Oh, that's right! It's Jesus and Satan. Jesus walks up to Satan and...shit I just forgot the punchline. Screw it. You weren't going to get very far starting with "Jesus walks" anyway.

 

Confuscious say, Only dumb man screw cactus by ObiJo 2-10-01
Some people have a negative outlook on life... Out the way, bitch.	While others... I said out the fuckin' way!	Have matches. And a history of arson.

 

More of Festus's brain, ribbed for your pleasure by ObiJo 2-10-01
The Occipital Lobe What sights! What beautiful sights.	The Parietal Lobe 3x + 2y = 8z - 2xy	The Cerebellum I'm a ballerina!

 

Festus vs. Dementia 2 (And, no, I'm sober.) by ObiJo 2-10-01
The Occipital Lobe Alien straight ahead, Festus!	The Parietal Lobe No, no, no. Remember, Festus, they're only in your head! And I think I know how to defeat them. Let's try...	The Frontal Lobe Oh, shit! They're firing neurons! Retreat!

 

Comic Contest #2 - The Electric Boogaloo by ObiJo 2-11-01
Ok, gentlemen, they're on to us. But we've come too far and lost too many compadres to quit now. Tonight, we strike!		Meanwhile, in Washington. We can handle the elephant and the robot. It's just that damn goat I'm afraid of.

 

Here's One by ObiJo 2-11-01
As the battle begins, Ernie starts to think that maybe The Flag of Death wasn't one of his better ideas.

 

We shall overcome...some other day by ObiJo 2-11-01
I'm blocking off this sidewalk in protest of police brutality. Not even God himself could make me move.		Gabe's convictions, though strong, stood no chance against his intense squirrel phobia.

 

Battlefield Mirth by ObiJo 2-11-01
Minutes before the battle begins, every soldier is a model of quiet reflection. They all know that this may be their last moments on earth, and are overcome by the sobriety of the situation.		And then there was Ed. B-I-N-G-O! B-I-N-G-O! B-I-N-G-O! And bingo was his name-o! All together now! B-I-N-G-O!...

 

For Jeff, I told you by ObiJo 2-11-01
Let's just keep walking, Jeff. Oh, but I broke a nail and my hair keeps getting in my eyes.	That's ok, just do something else to take your mind off it. Ooo, goodie! I'll recite Little Women!	Lieutenant Dan could never quite put his finger on it, but something always seemed a little off with Infantryman Jeff. I think I see the enemy to the south, follow me. I'll follow you anywhere, Lieutenant Hot Cheeks.

 

Oh, what the hell, one more can't hurt...right? by ObiJo 2-12-01
At a well guarded prison, somewhere in Japan...		All your Gabes are belong to us! What you say!!

 

The Dawn and Dusk of Artificial Intelligence by ObiJo 2-12-01
Welcome to Waffles 'R Us.com! Please enter your name, date of birth, and the human genome to place your order. *Joe Smith 8/23/78 13798427520934875439 83475897234423544334 44767909243243245*	Foolish human!!! Your gullibility and love of waffles has caused you to fall right into my trap! Now your entire race will be extinguished!	Bastard. Lucky I kept that Factory Restore CD. And now, waffle time!

 

Comic Contest #3 - Canned, just the way I like 'em by ObiJo 2-13-01
Every day, Eddie dreaded going to school. Please don't call on me. Please, God, not me. Let's see if Eddie knows. Eddie, can you tell us who the first president was?	And everyday he got his hopes up that today would be different I can do this. I can! It's just two words. I can get through two measly words!	But the monster that is Vegetable Tourette Syndrome knows no mercy. I've got two words for ya: Gourd Washington.

Showing page 1.

Next »