All comics by SinatraFonzarelli2

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The two-hour Hollywood version with computer animation and a break-dancing Santa Claus.
Red Fish: (Played by Adam Sandler) Doo! Doo! Jew! Jew! I am a Jew and I like to cover people in doo! Penis oral sex fart poo-poo vaginal cist spit pee-pee!
Blue Fish: (Played by Dana Carvey) TURTLE TURTLE TURTLE! I VANT TO BE A MASTER OF DISGUISE!!!1
I have a vamped up Generation Y super-car and I'm going to throw poo-poo in the faces of all of the grown-ups!
I masturbate to pornographic pictures of your mother.
And then the ubiquitous commercial tie-ins
One fish two fish red fish BUY AND DRINK SPRITE!!!1
OMGWTF BURGER KING IS HAVING A LIMITED EDITION WACKY ZANY SEUSS FISH SANDWITCH IN COMMEMORATION OF THE HIGH-BUDGET AND THEREFORE GOOD MOVIE ONE FISH TWO FISH RED FISH BLUE FISH!!1

 

In a post-apocalyptic Moscow
Now that we've defeated Roystein the reincarnation of Hitler once and for all and conquered Moscow, obtaining the dinosaur DNA, we will subject the Earth people to the most imaginable of torture
We'll force everyone to constantly view the Rubber Chicken and the Save Balki website.
Oh sweet merciful Jesus!
Please fucking kill me!
...To be continued!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
CAPTAIN LOU! I thought we destroyed you once and for all!
You're going down, McCanna!

 
I'm still refusing to talk to you.

 

Ah, Captain Lou. I see you've shown your true form!
You may have defeated Roystien, the Bolshevik party's army of velocoraptors, the prostitute-organ golem, and George Washington's brain reconstituted in a MechWarrior's body, but you die now!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!11111
You've advanced to the next level of power! Your power points are off the chart!
*Colossal chain of flashy yellow explosions which have something to do with Tai-chi somehow*
CHI-KU-BI!!!!!1
FU-REN-CHI-FU-RAI!!!!!1

 

HOUSE OF THE UNDEAD
Y'all gone make me move my body!
How do you kill something that's already dead? Any way possible!
Rated R!
Coming BOO-n to a theatre near you!

 

HERE AT DUBLIN, OHIO, HOME OF WENDY'S, WE HAVE SECKS WIT HAMBURGERS LOL
Wendy's chicken strips are what they are because the strips taste good. They're tender and juicy.
Nuh-uh, it's because of the sauces that we've developed. It's not a strip without the sauce.
They're so golden and mouth-watering, you could practically dip them in nothing!
Nothing? You call honey mustard, marinara, tartar sauce, cocktail sauce, avacado dip and sour cream nothing? Don't let that suit-and-tie reactionary brainwash you. We're the heart and soul of it!
Actually, I buy them because they make good dildos.

 

OMGWTF BANED!!!!1
OMGWTF BANED!!!!1
And the ass-fucks at DKvine (who all suck and I hate all of them) lived happily ever after in their authoritarian empire where people are indiscriminately banned for disagreeing with the moderators.
OMGWTF BANED!!!!1

 

PolyvinylEllip: UNJUSTICE WITHHEALD AT THE DONKEY HITLER'S JUNGLE REICH
PolyvinylEllip: UNJUSTICE WITHHEALD AT THE DONKEY HITLER'S JUNGLE REICH
PolyvinylEllip: UNJUSTICE WITHHEALD AT THE DONKEY HITLER'S JUNGLE REICH
PolyvinylEllip: UNJUSTICE WITHHEALD AT THE DONKEY HITLER'S JUNGLE REICH
PolyvinylEllip: UNJUSTICE WITHHEALD AT THE DONKEY HITLER'S JUNGLE REICH
PolyvinylEllip: UNJUSTICE WITHHEALD AT THE DONKEY HITLER'S JUNGLE REICH
PolyvinylEllip: UNJUSTICE WITHHEALD AT THE DONKEY HITLER'S JUNGLE REICH
PolyvinylEllip: UNJUSTICE WITHHEALD AT THE DONKEY HITLER'S JUNGLE REICH
Auto response from InajiraarijanI: Why is technology anathema to me?

 

What should we name our band?
"Frederich Stapler's Answering Machine Blended Off My Hand"
That's gay.
You're gay.
And the idea died that day.
You're gay.
You're gay.

 

By the way, Tim's avatar is officially the rocker.
How about "The Berserkers"
That's utterly horrible. I'd rather rip my eyelids out with a staple-remover than even consider naming my band something remotely similar to that.
How about "Weapons of Mass Destruction"
That's the vomit of band names. You are the human epitome of unoriginality. By making that suggestion you are ten times worse than Hitler. You should stop wasting my time and kill yourself now.
Oh, I see. So now you don't want to help me think up a name.

 

Today's forum [purchaser] user is George Duncan, the editor of the local paper
Japano-European hippies from Mexico are coming in and stealing our glorious jobs and the fellatio-recieving Democrats are funding their communist plots with welfare!
I'm a gook from China who hates freedom and wants to legalize marijuana and vote for Howard Dean!
Then the left-wing judges who want to hijack the American judicial system and force men to marry other men attacked!
I sentence you to watch Judy Garland and do whatever homosexuals do to each other in bed! I'm illegalizing the American flag and replacing it with a picture of Karl Marx!
Burrito! Guillotine! Auf Wiedersehen! Sayonara! Mama mia! I'm speaking some other language because I'm a European who hates the glorious English language and wants to make America weak!
Luckily great Lord Margaret Thatcher came in and used her Moses-esque powers to slaughter all of the ACLU conspiracy theorist enviromental wackos who voted for Gray Davis!
French lesbian hippie subversive: Nooo! Now the glorious ten commandments will be posted in schools and all of the sleazy dildo stores that I shop at will be shut down and George Washington will smile
Margaret Thatcher: Yes, now the poor negros will stop victimizing the rich white Christian Anglo-Saxons! And the Leftist teachers will be replaced with book-burning creationists!

 

Queen Elizabeth: This job's great! I don't have any real political power, but I don't have to be elected!
And I just get overpaid massive amounts of money and I get to live in an extravagant and famous mansion and all I have to do is sit around doing nothing! All because my father held this office!
While all the ministers are actually in charge of the nation and do all of the intellectually stimulating jobs I'm not qualified to do, and kill thousands of people in the process!
Boy do I envy you!

 

God, are you there?
Go away kid, I'm resting. I've had a rough day.
But I have a very important question I need to ask of you.
Alright, what is it?
Meanwhile, somewhere else
GO TO HELL YOU GOD FORSAKEN ZOMBIE!
...braiiins...!

 

LOLOL IM SO BRILANT ADN GR8 B CUZ I MAED A DOKNEY KOGN WEBSIET SLUSH AND I SPAM AL TEH TOPIKS ADN MAEK STUPID WORTHLESS THREADS BUT I BAN NEVIN FOR DOING TEH SAEM TIGN!!1 MIYAMOTO ASSASINATED GUNPEI!1
Flip: DKvine is part of the Leftist media conspiracy to get us to worship the Easter Bunny which was what George Orwell was predicting because secularist sodomite Britons made Donkey Kong Country.
Matt Wilson: You don't agree with me, therefore your opinion is broken and I'm going to gratuitously label you pretentious. I'm best friends with everyone at Cartoon Network. I sodomized Mike Lazzo.
LFV: OMGWTF UR GETING OFF-TOPIEK IM ADING U 2 TEH HEAP ROFL *GRAFIC*
Sparky Z: Chad hates me and said that the new DKvine was utter vomit and he cut off my right nipple but he's still a god and I refuse to ban him even though he deleted all of the forums and raped me.
Brad: I'm Brad. I just suck.

 

Chad: ROFL HA HA I JUST BANNED EVERYONE ON THE FORUMS AND DE-ADMINNED U ADN REPLACED UR AVATAR WIT A PIKTURE OF URKEL BEIGN SODOMIZED BY ERNEST BORGNINE LOL WAT AN ESOTERIC POP-KULTURE REFRANCE IM GOD
SparkyZ: Ha ha! How lovable! Everyone here loves you Chad. You and Slush are cherished journalists like Walter Cronkite!
Flip: You're banned from this message board for being a liberal and worshipping the wrong god.
OuterSpaceKid: AL AZNS R BANED FRUM MI BRD B CUZ TEH R HOMOS WIT SLANT EIES HU MAED ANIME WICH IS GAY AND FOR DOUCHEBAGS LOL!!!1
Whoever invented Gaia: LOL ^_^ RIOFKKDD HAX0R CHIBI ANIME FORUM ROFL ;) LETS HAEV CYBAR-SECKS WILE WATCHING FANSUBED EPISODES OF INUYASHA *STUPID ACRONYM* *UGLY SIG*
www.adultswim.com mod: *DELETES FIFTY TOPICS BECAUSE THEY USED CONSONETS WHICH ARE AGAINST TIME WARNER POLICY*

 

http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?author=Mumbojumbo&ID=191857
GODDAMN IT! FUCKING NAZI COMICS! I CAN'T TAKE LIFE ANY MORE!!!1
http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?author=Mumbojumbo&ID=191857
http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?author=Mumbojumbo&ID=191857
I shot myself

 

SNUFFY SMITH
Thar's nothin' in th' CHECKERS rules that says it's a feller's crown, paw !!
Okay, okay, Maw-- YOU can play YORE way !!
BY JOHN ROSE
Good !! QUEEN me !!

 

BEETLE BAILY
When did you realize you were such a computer whiz?
When I was ten
BY MORT WALKER
:O
But by then I was past my prime! :(

 

BLONDIE
I don't see how you can eat food like that!
Salami, honey-baked ham and mustard sauce... no wonder you're so sluggish after lunch
BY DEAN YOUNG AND DENIS LEBRUM
*EATING A LEG OF CHICKEN* If I don't eat some of this, you'll be asleep all afternoon!
May I please have a grape?

 

"Friends" is the most brilliant series to ever come out of America.
Friends?
Is this a different America you're thinking of?

 

At the GOP headquarters
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! Someone's launched us into the center of the sun!!! *fizzle*

 

At the Tory Party headquarters
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! We're also being launched into The Sun!!! *fizzle*

 

Nothing beats and angry mob! Not you, not frankenstein, not jesus, nothing!
Yes, but then you start to boarder on fluffy deconstructivism, and then nothing is acomplished.
Seeing as how I'm catholic, I'm going to be going with [eating] jesus. Transubstantiation, flesh-of-my-flesh, and such and such.
I feel sorry for Pluto. It's the itinerant goth of the universal high school, as compared to Jupiter's quarterback, Mars' nerd, and Earth's overachieving-but-morally-empty popular kid.
Cripes, here's a better away message already. "Blah blah blah, consumerism sucks, blah blah blah."
Yes, wacky Japan, where people walk backwards and wear shoes on their heads.

 

Deep in the heart of Dark Africa
Me Clognor, mighty king of lions and apes!
Help me Clognor! The natives are going to boil me alive!
Alien bug type-writer: First, shoot up some space heroin with your omnipotent polychromatic moon needle while I vomit on you!
Then we engage in acts of necrophilia! Ragh! COEVAL PIMPROVIDENT PEREGRINATION BILLINGSGATE JEJUNE DELICIOUS TACOS
In Morocco
Me am covered in space seamen and making love to a giant cockroach! DE "KAT" IN HET DUITS IS "KATZE" HERHAALT NA ME!!
Yes, now in order to prevent the global conspiracy, huff this baby powder and murder She-Clognor (queen of beasts and monkeys) WU OF HAN CHINA IS

 

In a harbor in Cuba (BUT IN REALITY IN THE CANYON OF LOST SOULS!!!!!1)
Ah, as an old Cuban fisherman, it's nice to have one final haul. For I have grown venerable and gaunt with age, but my eyes still sparkle like the waves of the sea.
YOUR EYES WILL DO NO SUCH THING, FOR I AM THE BARBARIAN ORNOX OF THE MOUNTAIN PEOPLE AND WE MUST SLAY THE ANCIENT WYRM OF TIKNOKNOR!!1
I WITCH-LORD ZILZAR WITH A BLADE CARVED BY THE FORGERS OF THE EARTH, THE MIGHTY DWARVES AND WITH THE ENCHANTMENT OF THE FEY SHALL DO BATTLE WITH THE DEMON-TAINED MARLIN!!1
*Gratuitous vivid description of his brains being pierced open by a broadsword*
A man can be destroyed but not defeated
Aye! Thank Crom over our valorous vanquish of our enemies!

 

Mister Potter! Today we will have a lesson in conjuring Wood Elves! Get out your septer
But lo, Mr. Dumbledore, I must go and mutilate my body at lanthorn light in the alter of my dark lord Cthulhu!
And lest him forsake this sacred Earth and plough it into the depths of hell? Me suspects that the rugose and squamous hand of Dark Lord Nodens compleats this evil conspiracy.
But as Abhoth's obscean girth's colour and complexion is grey, so shall Abdul Alhazred's Necromonicon unleash the true power of Cthulhu!
Now that you've unleashed me, Dark Lord Potter, I shall thank you by destroying Hogwarts oce and for all!
Blast it! Uncle Vernon's going to ground me for sure!

 
SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT JFK!!!!1111
FUCK YOU HISTORY CHANNEL!!!1

 

GARFIELD
Killer sock puppet!
Get back!
If Garfield's thinking everything he says, how does John understand him? Is he telepathic or something?
You have to sleep sometime
My hand is ever alert
BY JIM DAVIS
If you could ever get a date, we wouldn't have to play these dumb games
Wanna go get a pizza? Or do you want to have homosexual sex with me?

 

George Duncan: Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden are not only allies but former college roommates. Osama Bin Laden sang at Saddam Hussein's wedding.
9/11 (Which was worse than the Holocaust) was executed by Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden, Jacques Chirac, the liberal faggot judge from Massachusetts who let buggers marry, and Hitler's brain.
Yeah...well I think Lyndon Johnson might have had JFK killed.
CONSPIRACY THEORIST!!!1

 

"burt_reynolds'" comics are brilliant.
They're much better than mine!
Well what are you waiting for? Go read them!
Don't waste your time reading my shitty comics with the Asian girl and the exploding dog stick figure with a white background and no punchline.

 

Wait, so what's the difference between a Blog and a LiveJournal?
I think the answer can be found in the fact that I'm the true procreator of your son.

 

What do you prefer, Dada or Russian Constructivism?
Oh, probably Russian constructivism for the reason that...
GEORGE CASTANZA!
...You just shouted the name of a Seinfeld character again.
I did? I really need help.

 

I hate animes like Big O and FLCL. I prefer animes like Inuyasha.
But then again I like Hitler.

 

998,000 B.C
*RAPES*
1200 A.D
*RAPES*
1200 A.D
*RAPES*

 

Nevin, stop botching your comics!
You stupid fuck!
Nevin, stop botching your comics!
You stupid fuck!
Nevin, stop botching your comics!
You stupid fuck!

 

1,000,000 B.C
*RAPES*
1420 A.D
*RAPES*
13 AD
Maybe this is crossing the line...but then again...*RAPES*

 

Auditions for "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen 2"
Allen Quartermaine, I'm short of work right now, so I want to join the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
Well, Mr. Holmes, what assets would you bring to the team?
I have five PhDs, I speak twelve different languages, an IQ of 178...
Yes, but what super-powers do you have?
Well...I have this microscope...and that's pretty much it.
That will never sell movie tickets! Get the fuck out of here!

 

You told him your superpower was owning a magnifying glass?
Well, I mean you could burn some serious ants with this thing...and...
What if the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen has to battle ants and...well...
Oh fuck you Watson!

 

Oh my God! You're Bigby!
Yes, I am!
Wow! What inspired you to make all of those hand-related spells?
...I don't have a girlfriend :(

 

Hey, so how about those Niks?
OMGWT THATS NOT FUNNY THATS OFFENSIVE 2 YANKEES FANS
MI TIEM IS MUCH 2 IMPORTRATN 2 LISSON 2 UR INETERESTING COMMENTARY ON LIEF B CUZ I'M MENSRUATING IM BLOKING U ROFL
...but...
(SeanKing64 signed off at 5:43:32 AM)

 
*IS A WOMAN BECAUSE KADDAR IS A FUCKTARD*

 
FALCOOON PUNCH!!!111
Nevin's officially out of comic ideas.

 

At a Simpsons writers brainstorming session
OK...OK, so The Simpsons go to Trinidad and Tobago!
No, we already did that in episode 45CB and again in A3D7
Oh, OK, we'll just look on the world map and pick ano....No! This can't be! we've done every country, state, principality, and territory in existence!
Alright, don't panic. It's fine. Just stay calm. We'll do France again! That was like 15 years ago! No one in America has that long on an attention span!
You're a genius, Ted.
Saddam Hussein, God, and the entire nation of South Korea just volunteered to guest star.

 

(By the way, in part one, panel three should read "7246 AD", but it doesn't because of Brad's baby-eating) 1861 AD
You're hung like a slave!
*RAPES*
347 BC
A word without raping by Chrononaut isn't a world worth living in
*RAPES*
700 AD
The irony!
*RAPES*

 

In Tokyo, Japan
You seem irritable, Jim.
Yeah, I've been staying at my parents'.
(Sorry about the graphics. This goddamn site doesn't have any other male Asians)
It's really that bad?
Well, it's just that I haven't masterbated in a week.
*Rim shot*
Oh.
you could say I'm turning American.

 

Sean
Hey, do you want to make your character for my D&D campaign?
...No.
Well, do you want to go over to Tim's house?
...No.
Well what do you want to do?
Sit at my computer chair and complain to you about how I'm bored while listening to the same five goddamn J-pop songs 20 times in a row on Windows Media Player.

 

I can't make it to D&D this week...I've caught a cold.
You caught a sexually transmitted disease from having homosexual sex with another man.

 

Kevin
I can't make it to D&D this week...I've caught a cold.
You caught a sexually transmitted disease from having homosexual sex with another man.
:(

 

Tim
So in this movie I watched, there were four people living on a space-ship in the future, and one of them was a gaunt aloof former-mobster who knew kung fu and smoked a lot.
And one was a gambling vixen with gigantic tits, and one was a 50-year-old ex-cop who loved bonsai trees and had a cybernetic arm, and one was a 14-year-old female hacker named "Ed".
Oh, so like in Cowboy Bebop.
God, again with the anime! You're obsessed, you know!

 

Ryan
I want to have a profound and interesting conversation
Well...your name is Nevfuck.
...
>:0
So anyway...
DOWNLOAD THIS LOTR MUSIC

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