All comics by luminous_luciano

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SO ... THAT WAS A COOL DATE , WASN'T IT ...?
GUESS IT WAS ... ALTHOUGH I CAN'T SHAKE THE FEELING THAT YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF SURPRISE IN STORE FOR ME ... ?
YOU ARE COMING WITH ME HUMAN
SAW IT COMING ...
REALLY ... HOW .. ? OH ... I SEE ... IT'S A STALEMATE THEN .
IT IS.

 

BRAND ECCH-NAUSEA IMPRINT PRESENTS : THE HERO THAT WASN'T
GREETINGS CITIZENS OF POLLUTEDAIR CITY!!! IT IS I , MAGNIFICENCE MAN, YOUR UNDEVOTED DEFENSOR THAT HONORS YOU BY SIMPLY BOTHERING TO ADDRESS YOU ALL ON THIS DAY ... RABBLE !!!
BRAND ECCH-NAUSEA IMPRINT PRESENTS : THE HERO THAT WASN'T- YEAR TWO WITH TWENTY-FIVE MULTIPLE COVERS
I COME TO YOU THIS DAY WITH NEWS THAT THERE WILL SOON BE AN INCREASE IN THE PRICE THAT YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR MY MAGNIFICENT SERVICES , THE WHOLE DEFENSELESS LOT OF YOU ... AKA THE MAGNIFICENCE TAX !!
BRAND ECCH-NAUSEA IMPRINT PRESENTS : THE HERO THAT WASN'T - HARDCOVER TRADE PAPERBACK
YOU WILL REALLY HAVE TO COUGH UP THE MOOLAH NOW IF YOU WISH TO CONTINUOUSLY SEE ME WISK BY YOUR TALL BUILDINGS AND IGNORE YOUR PLIGHT-FILLED EXISTENCES ... NO OBJECTIONS? GOOD

 

THIS STRIP CREATOR HAS REALISTICALLY MADE AN ABSENT-MINDED SUBSTITUTION OF WORDS LAST TIME ; VARIANT COVERS IT IS - SUCH AS THIS ...
AHHHH -YES , MY FRIEND ... THIS CITY HAS GONE TO THE DOGS ... AND WE ALL KNOW THAT THIS PLANET IS GOING TO THE CHIMPS THANKS TO MR. PIERRE BOULLE , DO WE NOT ...?!?
... AND THIS ... FOIL-EMBOSSED GLOW-IN-THE-DARK TOO ...!!!
SAY YOU ... NEED A SIDEKICK ? I CAN SNAP MY FINGERS FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET ... JUST TRY ME , MAN !!!
I DOUBT THAT THE JOB REQUIRES ANY FORM OF ASSISTANCE AT THIS POINT , LAD ... POSING AND POSTURING IS EASY ENOUGH TO DO BY ONESELF !!!
AND THIS ... WITH MULTIPLE CHOICES OF STYLES TOO ; UPC CODE OR NO UPC CODE ...
SAY ... YOUR MAGNIFICENCE , INTERESTED IN JOINING OUR SOCIAL CLUB THAT GETS TOGETHER EVERY 13TH DAY IN THIS OTHER-DIMENSIONAL REALM ... ?!?
NO THANKS , OXYGEN-DEPRIVED KID !!! I HAVE ALL THE WEIRDOS THAT I CAN HANDLE RIGHT HERE IN MY LESS-THAN-FAIR CITY - THANKS FOR THE INVITE THOUGH !!! ASK RAT-DUDE !!!

 

The next few days were frantic as adventurer JACK INNABOXX scoured through his vast web of resourceful contacts to get a lead on how to rescue the poor lost lad he was responsible for ...
I know nothing Jack ... I thought you were the best -that's what they all said! Jack-of-all-trades and master of none - is it then ?!?
Intelligence ... Area 51 old or new... Anything ...?
Sorry Jack ... even if I knew - which I don't ; this is too spooky for my level of clearance- I would have to kill you after telling you anything! We have a war going on here - noticed?
You risk a lot coming here ... all for a kid who isn't even your son? Alas - I know jack squat!
I'll have to try the guru next ...

 

WOW - WHAT A VIEW !!! IT'S JUST AS IF WE WERE REALLY THERE !!!
WOW - YOU CAN ALMOST BREATHE IN THE BRINE OF THE SEA ... !!!
WOW ... UH ... ARE WE SUPPOSED TO HAVE NO AIR TO BREATHE NOW AND IMPLODE OR SOMETHING ... ?!?!?

 

WOW - IT IS JUST AS IF WE WERE CONTEMPORARIES OF PREHISTORIC OAF HERE ...
WOW - IT IS JUST AS IF WE WERE IN ATLANTIS OR SOMETHING ... ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DROWN THOUGH?!?
WOW - UH ... IS IT SUPPOSED TO FEEL AS THOUGH WE WERE BLOWN TO SMITHEREENS NOW ?!? CAUSE I THINK I AM STILL IN ONE PIECE ... YOU GUYS ?

 

World roaming adventurer Jack Innaboxx arrives at his destination - known simply as The Temple ... His last hope for locating a little boy in major distress resides here ...
I must see the Guru - NOW !!! It is a matter of the utmost urgency ... and , besides , he owes me a few ... !!!
Wait here , amicable stranger ...
The seconds tick by too slow for Jack , as he knows he is closer than ever to find out for sure about the whereabouts of poor little Joey ...
GURU !!! I need your help to find this boy mystically displaced God knows where ... Only you can ...
Aye - only I can help you find him ... SILENCE now - as I concentrate ... I sense the boy's presence ... and I know that place all too well ...
?!?!?
It is within my unfathomable abilities to transport you there ... and that is all that I can do for you on this day Jack ... Godspeed , Jack - we may never meet again

 

HA HA HA -look at the puny little pre-schooler turd !!! Go back to yer mamma , bedwetter puke !!!
Why ... you !!! You and me - NOW !!! You and me - come on , are you afraid ?!?
You have no idea who yer dealing with pal ... I 've got connections ... all 666 of them !!!
Try some of that with ME now , kid ... har har har
oooo - man !!!

 

I CAN HAVE EVERY WOMAN I WANT ... I KNOW IT ... THEY ALL WANT IT AND KNOW I'VE GOT IT - AND YET ... I FEEL NOTHING. DEEP DOWN INSIDE - NO DESIRE ... NO EMOTION ... NO URGES ... OK , URGES ... BUT ...
NOTHING MORE ... NO LOVE- FOR ANY OF THEM ... I HAVE SEEN SOME OF THEM STARVE THEMSELVES BECAUSE I WAS INDIFFERENT TOWARDS THEM ... AND I CAN'T SAY I FEEL BAD ... NOT MY FAULT IF THEY LEFT ME COLD !!
I'VE TASTED ALL THE FLAVOURS AVAILABLE - CHICKS ARE ALL THE SAME THOUGH! AS SOON AS YOU SLEEP OVER , THEY WANT TO ENSNARE YA!! UH-HUH - NOT ME! I VALUE MY FREEDOM !!! BORN TO BE A SWINGING BACHELOR!!
YIKES - WHAT A SMUG-LOOKING FIRST-CLASS JERK !!!

 

ADVENTURER JACK INNABOXX HAS FINALLY REACHED THE PRESUMED LOCATION OF ONE POOR LITTLE JOEY WZXOKPLITEK ... VICTIM OF CIRCUMSTANCE AND UNBRIDLED EVIL ONLY ASSUMED TO BE ERADICATED ...
WHERE AM I ?!? THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT WHAT I EXPECTED ... WHAT ARE THESE DEAFENING SOUNDS ...?!?
DESPITE THE SOUNDS ASSAILING HIM , JACK IS ABLE TO DISTINGUISH A FAMILIAR ONE ... JOEY 'S SICKLY HUMMING ; THE HUMMING OF A BOY POSSESSED BY OCCULT FORCES ...
urrrrrrrrrrrr
JOEY !!! IT IS YOU LAD - I HAVE FOUND YOU AT LAST ... NOW TO GET OUT OF HERE ... WHEREVER ''HERE'' REALLY IS ...
K-KILL J-JACK-KK
WHAT IS IT LAD - WHAT'S WRONG ? WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU - SKULLFACE'S MINIONS I PRESUME ? WHERE ARE THEY - SO I CAN FINISH THE JOB ... JOEY ? JOEY !!! SPEAK TO ME

 

The oldest adversary that mankind has ever had has many tricks up his sleeve ...
I HAVE SEEN IT ALL IN ME LOOOONG LIFE - BUT NEVER HAS THERE BEEN SO MANY WEIRDO SACRILEGIOUS CRAP FLOATING AROUND ... HEHHHH ...?
IF YOU ONLY KNEW WHAT'S OUT THERE OLD GEEZER !!! Anything BUT the Truth ... !!!
The one with which he successfully made most believe that he does NOT exist might well be ...
ME THINKS LIFE IS MOVING SO FAST NOWADAYS ... LIKE TIME IS SPEEDING UP OR SOMETHING ... OHHH - ME NO QUANTUM PHYSICIST - THINKING TOO MUCH HURTS ME HEAD ... AS IF ...
... SOMEONE ELSE WAS PUTTING THOSE NIFTY IDEAS IN THERE , EH ? BWAH-HA HA !!!
... the least important of them ...!
ME DUNNO ... BUT SOMETIMES , ME FEELS AS THOUGH ME NOT TALKING ALONE WITH MESELF ... KNOW WHAT ME MEAN ?!? ME AIN'T SCHIZO NOW ... AM ME ?!?
OUR JOB HERE IS DONE ...

 

WAUGHHHHHHH - I AM BEING PURSUED BY A GIGANTIC OCTOPUS THAT IS SMITTEN WITH ME ... WANTS THE WHOLE THING - MARRIAGE , KIDS ... THE WHOLE SHEBANG !!! HELLLLP - SOMEONE PLEASE HELLLLP MEEEE !!!
OOOOOOOOOOOO ... I HAVE BEEN HAUNTING THIS STAGE SINCE 1921 - AND IT SHALL BE SO FOREVERMORE ... UNLESS YOU GIVE IN TO MY DEMANDS AND HAVE BARRY MANILOW AND NEIL DIAMOND SING A DUET HERE ... OOOOOOOOO
ahem ... FAIRIES DO NOT EXIST - I REPEAT FAIRIES DO NOT EXIST - WE ARE ONLY FIGMENTS OF YOUR OFTEN CAREENING OUT OF CONTROL IMAGINATIONS ... SICKO HUMANS! WHAT YA'LL HAVE YER KIDS BELIEVE...

 

LOOK AT THE MESS THAT THESE OLD GEEZERS HAVE LEFT US GEN-XERS WITH ... IT MAKES ME WANNA PUKE !!!
WARS ... GENOCIDE ... MORE WARS ... TERROR ATTACKS ... AND THEN THEY DEPLORE THE FACT THAT WE WANNA BUST SOME HEADS IN THE AFTER SCHOOL HOURS?!?
I WISH THOUGH THAT WE COULD SOMEHOW FIX IT ALL UP - LIKE , AFTER A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP... WE WAKE UP , AND EVERYTHING'S CHANGED ... FOR THE BETTER !!!
AND THEN MAYBE ... I COULD GET MYSELF A GIRLFRIEND TOO ... ONE WHO LIKES CHOCOLATE SYRUP HOT DOGS AND METALLICA ... JUST LIKE ME !!!
AWWW ... WHO AM I KIDDING ?!? THEY'RE GONNA NUKE US ALL -OR GAS POISON US - OR BIO-CHEMI-KILL US ALL ... ANY DAY NOW !!!
I WISH I"D NEVER GROWN UP ...

 

Hey - guys!!! Anyone of you heard about the new Virtual Mass Murderer movie they're gonna make ... based on my favorite videogame , like , of ALL-TIIIIIME dudes !!! It'll kick ass ... !!!
Uhhhh ... I thought it was ... an o-kay videogame ... but ... a tad too violent maybe ...? I like to blow up zombies and demons ... but innocent bystanders of all ages ?!?
WAAAAAAZZZUPPPP!!! Can't wait for the new round of virtual wrestling - I am soooo gonna kick yer asses dudes !!! HA HA HA ... !!! I have a new move too - the powerbomb straight to hell!!!
uhhh ... ok. As long as we keep it within the game - it is the ideal outlet for our most degrading uncivilized acts I suppose ...
er - whatever dude !!! Me I wanna check out BLOODBATH ON THE BEACH 2020 !!! It 's got IT ALL - hot babes ... more hot babes ... and tons of GORE !!! Check it out dudes!
Mayhaps joining this cyber-chat group was not such a great idea after all ...

 

PERFECT SON AND MILD-MANNERED CHOIRBOY RUSTY ZAECKLOPETHUS WAS RUN DOWN BY A DRUNK TRUCK-DRIVING BASTARD ... AND NOW HE GOES TO HEAVEN'S GATE , SEEKING IMMEDIATE ADMITTANCE ...
OR IS IT REALLY THE CASE ...?!?
WHO GOES THERE ?!?!? SPEAK NOW - BEFORE I SMITE THEE WHERE THEE STANDS - THY MOVE , CHUMP !!!
UHHH ... IT'S JUST ME - RUSTY !!! I HAVE BEEN A GOOD SON ... A GOOD BOY ALL MY LIFE ... NEVER HAD ONE IMPURE THOUGHT IN MY LIFE !!! CAN I GO IN ... ?!?
NICE TRY BUB... BUT THEE AND I BOTH KNOW THAT THERE ARE NO PERFECT LITTLE BOYS LEFT IN THE WORLD... NOT SINCE THE INVENTION OF THE INTERNET THERE ISN'T !!! BEGONE - AND QUIT TRYING SO HARD !!!
DRATS !!! WHAT GAVE ME AWAY ?!? I'll go , yes ... but I'll get back in there one day - you'll see !!!

 

WACKY LOUDMOUTHS' NUMBER ONE STAR - HERMAPHRO-BUNNY AND MALT BREWERY'S SPOKESPERSON OR ENTITY , INFINITESIMAL IMPY !!!
COME ON RRRRRAT - YER MOVE !!! I GIVE YA THE FIRST SHOT ... NYUK-NYUK-NYUK !!!
GOT A FEELING THIS AIN'T WACKY WORLD ANYMORE ...!!!
UNLIKELY UNWISE MASKED PROTECTOR # 4 (OF 5) VERSUS UNLIKELY SCHOOLGIRL CRUSADER , MINDY PROBABLY ...
WE DO NOT HAVE TO FIGHT - MY COLLEAGUES AND I ARE HERE TO PROTECT YOU !!! US FIGHTING WOULD BOOST SALES THOUGH ...
YOU DON'T SCARE ME - YOU MAY BE BUFF , BUT I'VE GOT THE STUFF !!! BRING IT ON !!!
BABOSA AND VIRULENTA ... THE LATTER A TEENAGE WENCH !!!
HMM ... YA REMIND ME OF SOMEONE I HAVE KNOWN ALL ME LIFE ... BUT NEVER LOOKED AT AS I AM LOOKING AT YA NOW ... WHY IS THAT ?!?
MANY GRRRLIES WOULD NEVER LET A GAY VIBE PASS BETWEEN THEIR BEST FRIENDS AND THEMSELVES ... THAT WHAT YER TELLING ME , RIGHT ?!?

 

BOOOOOOO !!!
OHHH - NOOOOO -- A G-GHOST !!!
HA-HA !!! FOOLED YA !!! NOT EVEN AFRAID OF YA !!! YER SILLY - NOT SCARY !!! TRY BEING A ZOMBIE - NOW , THAT IS SCARY !!!
THE NEXT DAY , AT THE EMPLOYMENT AGENCY ...
SO YOU WANT TO CHANGE FIELDS ALTOGETHER ; FEELING UNAPPRECIATED IN YOUR CURRENT JOB? OKAY - WE CAN UNDERSTAND THAT ...

 

Man - we have had some tough news to script in the last few years - but nothing as tough as this ... how to make the demise of a shady character nobody really gives a hoot about easier to swallow ...?
AND NOW NEWSBREAK - WITH SOME SAD , SAD , SAAAAD NEWS INDEED ... HERE IS SAD-EYED SANDY RUFF - TAKE IT AWAY SANDY ... !!!
OH-OH ... legal trouble right up ahead I think ...
Thank you Dan - indeed our newsstaff has learned that not-so-mild-mannered adventurer JACK INNABOXX , as his protégé JOEY WZXOKPLITEK are officially declared to be dead today after due time M.I.A.
Rumours of my passing have likely been greatly exaggerated ... lest this is my ghost yer looking at ... !!!?

 

OWWWWWW ... THIS LIVING-DEAD LIFESTYLE JUST ISN'T WORKING OUT FOR ME ... IS IT A "LIFESTYLE" ANYWAY ?!? MORE LIKE ANTI-LIFESTYLE ... "DEADSTYLE" ?!? OHH ... I'M SO CONFUSED ...
SCREW YOU , YOU OLD FART !!! I WANTED TO GO SEE "DAREDEVIL" AT THE NEW MULTIPLEX CRAPPALACE - BUT NOOOOO - WE HAD TO GO TO GRANDMAAAHH'S INSTEAD !!! NOW LOOK AT US - WE'RE DEADER THAN EVEN SHE IS !!!
OOHHHHHH - I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE !!! WE ARE WORSE OFF THAN A DYSFUNCTIONAL NUCLEAR FAMILY - AND THIS WILL LAST ... FOREVER NOW ?!? WITH NO END IN SIGHT ?!? OHHHHHH ...
ARE YOU ALL THROUGH YET ?!? MAKE UP YER DAMN MINDS !!! ARE YA DEAD ... OR ALIVE? COMING WITH ME - OR STAYING PUT ?!? DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING - I WANNA BE BANGING !!!
I THINK DA WIFEY JUST ECHOED ALL OF OUR FEELINGS ON DA SUBJECT , MR. D - WE ANNA GO WITH YA ... BUT WE CAN'T !!! WE'RE INVULNERABLE TO YA OR SOMETHIN ... DOOHHHH !!!
YEAH RIGHT POPS !!! JUST YA WAIT WHEN DA CRAVING FOR BRAINS KICKS IN AND THEN DA COUNTY SHERIFF WILL SHOW YA JUST HOW INVULNERABLE YA ARE - WHEN HE BLOWS YER BRAINS AWAY TO SMITHEREENS ... !!!

 

I'm still living at home ... and I'm still a choirboy ... man ... I'm such a loser !!
THOSE WHO ARE ASHAMED OF ME BEFORE THE WORLD - I WILL BE ASHAMED OF THEM BEFORE MY FATHER COME JUDGMENT DAY ...
B-But ... but ... w-wait a m-minute ... p-please ... !!!
... I'm not ashamed of you - I'm ashamed of me !!!
THAT IS UNDERSTANDABLE - REPENT , THERE IS STILL TIME ...

 

Welcome to my mansion ... henchman !!!
WOW - cool boss ... very , ah , atmospheric !!!
Your job is to kill any trespassers - understood ?
Sure thing , boss ... I won't fall for that trick again - kids asking to use the phone !! Nowadays everyone has a cell !!!
Yessssss ... alas ... it is getting more difficult luring victims here with promises ... of employment. Digest him well , EEKgore ...

 

We are already very competitive in third grade here at The School For Gifted Rascals ... I have this feud going with my classmate here , Prue ...
HAHAHA - if only Kitty , my arch-rival for the coveted position of teacher's pet , KNEW what I put in her little carton of milk earlier ... should kick in any minute now
OOOOOOOOO - GOTTA GO NOW ... IT'S URGENT !!!!
Laxatives always do the trick ... now , if the teach knows what's good for her , she'll ask me what I wanna do this afternoon ...
Momentarily ...
Phew - that was close ... now , Prue should be feeling the effects of the rat poison I put in HER milk ... and Mrs. Helmsley 's too ... !!!
OHHHHHHHHHHHH - I NEED TO GO NOW TOO , MISSSUSSSS ... OHHHHHHH !!!!

 

Off the coast of Montego Bay ...
Well well well - hellllllooooo there , handsome !!!
Oh man - I thought chicks were bad ... now penguins ?!? Don't they just hound guys that drink the wrong brand of beer ... ?!? Oh well - might as well give it a go
... on a course trying to beat the Titanic 's record time ...
You're hot , baby - I'll give ya that much !!! Must have melted some icebergs in yer day , eh ?
... before disaster struck that is ...
Go to hell , you eco-unsensitive , nature-polluting , neanderthal male chauvinistic temperate pig , you ... !!!
... she WAS hot ... owwwwwww

 

oh my - I really am all alone now onboard a haunted vessel in the middle of the Pacific Ocean ... What am I gonna do ?!?
oh my - a TV has turned itself on and has come on deck all by itself now - just to keep me company ... how nice ... oh - no ... what is this approaching now ... ?!
... in other news , Claudia Schiffer is officially engaged now - to her mirror ...
THE GHOST OF BOYFRIENDS PAST ... YOU $#@!%!#@%%!#%!$

 

The camera set by the watercooler in the office captures some rather perplexing exchanges at all times - 5:55 AM
Hiya pal - that was some office party last night , eh? Those interns are hot chicks ...!!!
Rowdy Scott , right? D-did I s-say or ...gulp... do anything EMBARRASSING last night...? Cause I can't find my pants... and I slept on the zerox ...
9:47 AM
No experience - no honor - no self-respect ... but I won't work for anything below , say , 50 000$ a year ... plus all benefits and expenses paid by the company ... - CAPISCE?!?
No problem - I think the supervisor will like your attitude - you 'll be hired on the spot !!! Wait here - I'll go get him ...
10:23 AM
... and I am willing to negociate salary too ... I came here for that today - ok?
Why the sling and rock ...?

 

HEY - YOU'RE DEFINITELY NOT A FARM ANIMAL !!! GET OUT OF HERE - WE AIN'T GOT NO BEER HERE !!! SHOOOO- SCRAM !!!
WHAT CHU LOOKIN AT , eh? EH ?!? GET OUT OF HERE !!! SHOOOO- SCRAM !!!
NOW THAT'S A NEW ONE ...

 

Where were you - EH ?!? We got a serial killer rabbit on the loose here !!! Go fetch it - NOW !!!
No I don't know where the cat is - what do I look like here? The information stand ?!? SCRAM !!!
HERE , BULLY - FOUND THIS !! HAPPY ?!?

 

I think I'm lost ...
Tourists aged 5 or less should never travel alone ...
Still - I think I found my dream home , for when I grow up and live in sin and all ...

 

GOD DAMMIT!!! WHY DOES THIS GUY ALWAYS PICK ON ME AND MY OPINIONS - I ONLY MEAN TO MAKE A JOKE HALF THE TIME ...!!!
meowffffffffffffff ... the boy sure is wasting time very UNwell there ... meowfffffffffff
GOD DAMMIT !!! WHY DID HE DO THAT ?!?!? WHY DID THE MODERATOR DELETE MY ENTIRE THREAD THERE ?!?!? IT WAS ALL IN GOOD FUN !!!!!!!
meowffffffff ... I am starting to be annoyed by this ... meowfffffff
GOD DAMMIT !!!!!! NOW I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM THE BOARDS ?!?!? AGAAAAIN ?!? WHAT FOR ?!?!? WHAT FORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR?!?!?
meowffffffffffffffffffff - methinks us cats are rrrrreally lucky not to have to deal with computers and all those modern gizmos ... I think I'm going to lick myself now ...

 

THERE ARE WORSE THINGS ONE CAN DO IN A DRUNKEN STATE WITH ONE'S SOUL THAN WITH ONE'S BODY ...
SSSSSSSSSSSSO ?!? HAPPY ?!?
YOU CAN BET YOUR CRIMSONNY SCARLETTY RED-BROWNISHY ASS THAT I AM - HELL , YEAH !!!
JOE GENERIC HERE WOULD WISH RIGHT NOW HE HAD INDEED GONE WITH THE WRONG HO/BIMBO CONDOMLESS ... INSTEAD OF THIS!!!
VELL - VERY VERY VELL - SO NOW IT'S TIME TO PAY UP , CHUMP ...
PAY UP-P-P-P-P-P-- ?!?
OR IT'S BACK TO THE OLD STOMPIN GROUNDS FOR YOU - AND FOR A LONG TIME TOO , PEABRAIN !!! COME ON NOW - FORK OVER YOUR SOUL !!!
oh-oh

 

Stone Cold Gold-berrrrrrrrg ... ?!?
uh - ya my greatgreatgranduncle's ghost then ...? Whaddaya want from me?!?
Dems ...
Reps ...

 

we want communion ...
and then we want confirmation
And then we want to have our gay wedding here
And baptize all of our sperm donations here too!

 

Sir... could thy spare some change for an endangered species... a SERIOUSLY endangered species...?!?
Endangered? I thought you were all EXTINCT ALREADY! Dinosaurs are so PASSÉ now anyway - the trendy thing is tiny little deemons now... Get lost - lost cause!!!
Sir... could thy spare some change for an endangered species... a SERIOUSLY endangered species...?!?
RRRRRRRR... huh? Wha-at?
Sir... could thy spare some change for an endangered species... a SERIOUSLY endangered species...?!?
WHAT THE SLACKER SAID, PAL - GET LOST ; YER A LOST CAUSE - FROM A LOST WORLD!!! BWAH-HA-HA!!! WE RULE NOW - GOTTA SUCKA EM ALL!!!

 

by luminous_luciano
11-06-04
But I read http://lucianosluminousblog.blogspot.com/ ... ON A DAILY BASIS!!!
Not good enough, kid - you're STILL not Horseman material... NEXT!
I like it - I like it! He writes funny stuff on it... http://lucianosluminousblog.blogspot.com/ OF COURSE!
Well - he's on his own there! Can't help him there... no one will, word is... BWAH HA HA!!!
SAW you mentioned there... on http://lucianosluminousblog.blogspot.com/... he said you SUCKED!
OH YEAH?!?!?!?

 

Early in the evening...
Daddy...
Yo... bitch! Yo NOT goin out tonite again - are ya? I am NOT changing da damn diapers on yer lil' bastard again while yer screwing around... Y'HEAR ME???
I don't know what you're talking about, YOU TURD! YOU cheated on ME with every bimbo in our building - REMEMBER? Payback is a bitch - NOT ME! You a-hole...!
Mommy...
Fifteen years later...
Yeah - you a-holes! I nailed 'em good - ma and pa would be proud! Next I'm gonna nail myself some ho too - yo! Hell Yeah!!!

 

Verde...
"são as cores da minha nação...!" - sim! Talvez mais perto de Malacca que de Lisboà... mas...
É isto mesmo... e é assim mesmo se agente paressem ser mais asiaticàs que outra coisa...!!!
... e Vermelho!

 

And now, your guides for the evening - the sarcastic duo of... Chica & Xica!
It all started here...
It should have never started at all...!
A lengthy stopover here followed - for an amazingly wide array of activities too, that ensued at an absurdingly frantic pace... No wonder they say "life is short" - and candles burn at both ends!
Unhealthy relations as unhealthy products were consummated... vast amounts of vomiting followed all that immediately... and then... a cardiac arrest!
And it all ended up here... some night out having fun, eh?
Last call!

 

We are about to enter a dimension of mirth... not so much of mind...
There has got to be a way out of this maze... THERE HAS GOT TO BE A WAY OUT!!!
You're one weird-looking rat, you know that?
A sort-of firth to the most bizarre corners of the universe...
What do you say...?
Uh... nothing. I'm a kitten... I don't know nothing about nothing yet... dog barking, cat meowing, bird tweetering - it's all Greek to me!!! Heh heh heh... ohhhh...!!!
Next stop - the low-light zone?!?
Yer a scaredy-cat, eh? Yer wretched race has persecuted mine for ages - it's payback time now! Only ONE of us will come out of this maze in one piece! Put'em up - cat!
Uh... no thanks... kitty mommy has told me not to engage mutant mice that is bigger than me... not until I learn Meow-Fu!

 

Buckle your seat-belts...
It's going to be a bumpy ride, this century...!!!
Tu n'es qu'une pitoyable énergumène, espèce de tête de mullet horripilante - que vous êtes affreux, sales humains!
Not trying to sweet-talk me into letting you go, pal - I finally have some evidence that you exist; I am taking you in, coney!
Bzzzzzzz... bzzzz... bzzzz... bzzzzzz... bzzzzzzz... bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! Bzzzzzz... bzz... bzz... bzz... bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!
Cara de carralho - eu vou te matar, insecto do inferno!

 

 

Hiya there - up for a ride in the big sky - tis a beautiful starry night out there tonight... Come on now - don't be shy! I'll take ya for a spin... buddy!
No thanks - I'm waiting for my ride - a forklift back down below... Maybe another time... eh?
Sheesh - I need to stop this selection in the wee hours of the night habit NOW - this odd cattle I was targeting ain't even cattle! I need another specimen... FAST!

 

Welcome to our temple!
All hail the master of the temple!
He's not in right now...
Donations are still accepted in his absence though!
He'll be back in a few hours...
So many concubines - so little time...!

 
by luminous_luciano, 9-18-05

 

Never thought I'd come to love so much the color WHITE as I do now... heh heh heh - this place is where I did some of my best business - like EVER!!!
If only I was allowed to be obvious and get a pawn named GORE...
No way - I voted for Bush... even recounted my reasons to do so!
Ah - a toy soldier - I love those too; some of my best pawns are to be found in the military...
I found that out the hard way - and now I can't get my disability pay! I came to Washington to protest that... the name is Smith

 

Sitcom 1 - Hope & Glory... (yeah - remember that one?!? Right...)
No sexual vibe between us... nope... none whatsover...
No...
Sitcom 2 - Ned & Stacey (now do you remember THIS one?!? Puh-leeeze...)
So...?
No...
Sitcom 3 - Will & Grace...
There can NEVER BE any sexual vibe between us...
No!

 

Ohhhhh...
Sorry, Mistress - power surges do not compute - this unit had to discharge - at some point in sequence - affirmative - affirmative ---
Earthlings, eh... we know your kind... we have them up there too... or is it down there? Mum's the L word - you hear me? Now... come along peacefully...
Who would I tell... you wiped out humanity, you ninny! Say... are you a boy or a girl? Want to have some HLA in your UFO...? You didn't have to obliterate the planet just to land here and ask me out!
So... was it YOU who pushed the button...? While dusting off - eh? Happens to me all the time - when I'm cleaning up my keyboard...
negative...

 

Mister Magnanimous - umpteenth clone of the numero uno crisis-handler of the infinite super-duper four-color universes...
...that makes absolutely no sense - but I ain't complaining; I got a job out of it... for now.
My hero...
The Wishy-Washy Washmen Wondrous Second Cousins - with fully-activated powers to depress you and bore you to death - while they wash your car... at least!
I wish...
Oh... shut up!!!
Dime-A-Dozen, Pat-Yourself-On-The-Back Grunge Musician Man - master rehasher of the same sounds and the same lyrics seen a zillion times before...
My hero...
DUH!

 

One after the other, a flurry of vicious opponents propel themselves at our valiant devil-may-care role-model for all girls of all ages - the one, the only WISPY THE BASTARD BEATER!
See Wispy rough up bullies in the schoolyard! See Wispy kick the behinds of any critter great or small that dares cross her path...!!! Don't mess with her! We mean it - she's a meanie!
Whateverrrrrr....
And, in the end, our happy-go-lucky heroine will always find a strange but satisfying happy ending... somehow... so are the network rules!
Uhhhhh... Ok now... what am I fighting for again? What's, like... my motivation?!?
You're into bondage - admit it!

 

History repeating...?
I'm your General, you fool!
Halt - who goes there? Do not advance or I will blast you to smithereens right where you stand... you have been warned!
A-HA! We finally meet on the battlefield! It is about time! Damn Yankee - cowardly hiding got boring, eh? You had to come out and play - at last!
Yeah... meeting an enemy face-to-face does drive home the fact that this war is for real and not just a rumor! Uh... what do we do now?
Talk about your Field of Nightmares...
Don't make another move - you have no access to the little master's messy bedroom anymore - it's our headquarters now!
Ah - ok... no problem. Besides - didn't we do this like... 100 years ago?

 

And now - a word from our resident little pessimist...
pop goes the world...
by luminous_luciano, 9-27-05

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