All comics by brycekain

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by brycekain
9-04-16
Ugh
Ugh
Ugh
Ugh
I don't think this is how you have butt sex.
Just keep clapping!

 

by brycekain
9-05-16
Atomic bombs raining shit down on planet earth? Check.
Famine, plague, the second coming of Christ, forced sharia law on the masses? Check.
And that concludes our tour of what didn't happen under Obama. Ok, guys. Tear down the set. Time to bring in peace on earth!
KANYE 2020!

 

by brycekain
9-05-16
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Depends on who was sucking my cock.

 

by brycekain
9-05-16
Hello, sir. I'd like to invite you to our church.
What kind of church is it?
It's wonderful. There's all kinds of music and praise. In fact, our house band is all hip hop!
What's your band called?
2 Legit 2 Rage Quit.

 

by brycekain
9-05-16
Come on!
I still don't believe you're a proctologist.

 

by brycekain
9-08-16
Yay! He really wasn't lying when he said Red wings gives you bull.
Don't you mean Redbull gives you wings?
Then where did you come from?
Bitch, you nasty.

 

by brycekain
9-08-16
Ok, Penishands McGee. I want no funny business now, ya hear me?
Oh wait, it says here you're..... Deafy McSilentfucker..? Is that Swedish?

 

by brycekain
9-08-16
I see a red door and I want to paint it black.....
BOOK WAS BETTER!

 

by brycekain
9-08-16
I used to be the President of the United States!
No one gives a fuck anymore, Bill!
couple interns did...
EXCUSE ME?

 

by brycekain
9-08-16
Holy shit!
Did you do that?
Nah, must have been the guy next to us.
Holy fuck, buddy. What did you eat?
Your mom.
That explains it.
Don't you know she has zika in her hoohoo?

 

by brycekain
9-15-16
We'd like you to star in a movie.
What's it about?
It's the story of a middleweight boxer as he rises through ranks to earn his first shot at the middleweight crown.
What's it called?
Rage-Quitting Bull.

 

by brycekain
9-21-16
Can I look now?
NO!
Ok, can I look in a second?
NO!
Maybe you should take the wheel back from Jesus...?

 

by brycekain
9-21-16
What the hell is your problem, buddy? You ran that red light and destroyed my Shaggin' Wagon!
Really? Dude, you haven't had pussy since pussy had you.
Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like to see me when...
Yeah, yeah. Save it, Bruce Boner. Let me guess, you become big and green and dressed like a homeless steroid junkie?
I destroy everything... then I QUIT!
He smells like a gooey Italian on the rag.

 

by brycekain
9-21-16
Coming up: watch circus clowns attempt to walk off the job and run from their angry supervisor.
But little did they know, he had a few guys waiting for them around the corner. Find out why it's better to put in two weeks notice...
I may be stretching this a little.
on an all new Outrageous Acts of Quitting!
Ya think?

 

by brycekain
9-21-16
Nope. I changed my mind.
CUT....................... Ok, what's wrong now?
Look, I don't care if this is a JJ Abrams reboot or not. I'm not saying the line, no matter how iconic it used to be.
You want your money, kid? Just say the line... ...aaaaand ACTION!
I wish I knew how to rage-quit you...

 

by brycekain
9-21-16
Ok, you're doing great. Now we had to change the product name in the script due to legal reasons. So in the next scene just go with what Ms. McIver says, ok? ...aaand ACTION!
What's making all these people turn into zombies?
I think it has to do with the new drink that's on the market.
What's it called?
Max Rage-Quit.

 

by brycekain
9-21-16
I'm not doing this anymore. I made my decision and that's it!
Look, just read outloud one line from a poem by Dylan Thomas...
Oh FUCK YOU...
c'mon....!

 

by brycekain
9-22-16
Come on. All of it or I'll punch you in the nuts again.
Why are you doing this?
Church attendance has been slow.
Why are you always wanting everyone's money?
Bonus points if you DON'T make it a Jewish joke.

 

by brycekain
9-23-16
So this Bacon dude is supposedly Ragu.
Yeah right.
......PLANET WTF???
Makes about as much sense as any of these dumbass comics.

 

by brycekain
9-23-16
So who would make a horrible President?
Namgubed.
Why's that?
Well, for starters, he hasn't judged this contest in four fucking months!

 

by brycekain
9-23-16
Feed me, Seymour...
I said FEED ME, Seymour...
I'm trying!
Eat more BRAN, Seymour!

 

by brycekain
9-24-16
I see you're trying to update your settings. Would you like some help?
No thank you.
I see you're trying to pick up a hot date. Would you like some help?
You're on my PHONE, too?? Go away!
I see you're attempting necrophilia...
I knew I shouldn't have upgraded to Windows 10.

 

by brycekain
9-24-16
I know that my friends and I star in cartoons that are sometimes humorous...
But there's one thing that ISN'T funny...
This is Donatello. He has "Type K" Gonorrhea.
I slept with a Kardashian.

 

by brycekain
9-24-16
Another one? *sigh* Guess I gotta make rent somehow.
I can't see shit in this alley. Am I doing it right, guys?
I don't know. When's the glory part come in?
Didn't you say you had a twin brother that lives around here?

 

by brycekain
9-24-16
Ok, I just applied this solution. Your hair should be unstuck now.
It didn't work. Is there anything else you can try?
I could rub my vagina on it.
........and that would help how?
Ever see the movie Aliens?

 

by brycekain
9-26-16
Telegram.
Read it to me, my good man.
Dear Mr. Ozihcs, we hope this finds you well. Please foresee in the near future a clarity of mind and less partaking of the negative Lucy. Sincerely, Dr. Cortex.
What the hell does that mean?
STOP TAKING THE BROWN ACID!!
**PFFFFFFT!!!!**

 

by brycekain
9-26-16
Are you watching the debate tonight??
I'd rather slam my nuts in the door.
I'd like to see that.
aaHA HA HA HA HA HAAaaaa... WIPEOUT!!
Marry me.

 

by brycekain
9-26-16
Taco Bell?
Trump steaks.

 

by brycekain
9-27-16
Hey, aren't you...?
I used to say "Can you hear me now?"
No, that wasn't it.
Well, Sprint is 1% short of Verizon, but costs half as much. Would you pay twice as much to get more hair cut?
I got it! May, 1970. Gave your mom an abortion. Well, aren't you a little survivor?

 

by brycekain
9-27-16
But really, Verizon the Goliath is panicking....
How much did they pay you to sell your soul to Sprint...?
If I told you, your head would explode from your body, causing you to tell Ragu to go fuck himself.
Come'on.
PLEEEASE LET ME COME BACK!!
GET TO MAKIN' DA BACON, BITCH!

 

by brycekain
9-30-16
This here dildo factory is run by top notch men who work round the clock to make sure every person is satisfied with our products.
Oh, BARRY....
What? I'm workin' over here!

 

by brycekain
9-30-16
Seems my fate is sealed, old chum.
Seems so, old friend.
Nothing but one thing left to do.
Indeed.
I WILL NOT DONATE BUT I WILL STILL MAKE COMICS CAUSE FUCK IT! RAWR!!
At least you have your dignity.

 

by brycekain
9-30-16
Imagine if a man traveled back in time to shoot his grandmother in the head...
...but in another time line another version of him traveled back at the same time to tell his mother to move in next door so he can shoot his grandmother's twin sister in the back of the head...
...just to startle the first gunman into misfiring and accidentally killing Nickleback. Would it still be worth it even if you had to suck a Zika dick?
Whatever this guy is on I want some.

 

by brycekain
9-30-16
What the hell is this?
Matrix is glitching again.
What the fuck is the Matrix?
Shitty Keanu Reeves movie.
*pffffft* As if there are any other kind.

 

by brycekain
9-30-16
Welcome to our country. We love guns, booze, and artery clogging junk food.
We have so much food we hold contests where we pig out, cook it up and judge it then throw it away, or just plain smash it with a mallet because... comedy!
Oh, I was born in the Hudson river, son. You see, my mother had an abortion. They thought I was dead and threw me into the trash, which eventually made it's way into the polluted waters.
Yeah, we don't like immigrants either, Paco.

 

by brycekain
9-30-16
Scary.
Really fucking scary...
What?
People still actually read this shit.

 

by brycekain
10-01-16
So then I had to ban him cause HOLY FUCK THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY...
Know what's even more interesting? I still don't know the backstory on this floating head character and WTF WTF WTF?
Did you read the Wiki?
Who the fuck has time to do that?

 

by brycekain
10-02-16
Space Jesus, why does Ragu make me horny?
Because you're gay.
But I don't like men.
Then you're into bestiality.
No, I just get horny when I swallow Ragu.
Oh, then you're Italian.

 

by brycekain
10-02-16
No, wait! Don't!
Great. You just killed a village. You know how much paperwork that is?

 

by brycekain
10-02-16
Welcome to Donald Trump's Amerika! Would you like a job?
Yes, please.
Are you qualified?
To do what?
Look, you already have decent sized knockers, so you're probably ok. All we really care about is if you swallow.
Why did I have to be so pissed off about a stupid email server??

 

by brycekain
10-02-16
Please let me back in?
Nope! If I do it for you then I'll have to do it for EVERYBODY else.
But it was just one hasty action. I promise to never do it again!
Yeah, like I haven't heard THAT one before. Get back in your skin suit and have a good day, sir.
Why did I have to pick bacon?

 

by brycekain
10-02-16
What do you want?
Good morning, Ma'am. We're from the Conservatives United to Nominate Trump campaign. Can we have a moment of your time?
Why? What's this about?
We're here to campaign for the Cinnamon Overlord, Herr Donald Trump. Can we count on your vote?
Drop dead!
Hey, Orange Lives Matter, lady!
Mark her down for the post-campaign Auschwitz vacation.

 

by brycekain
10-11-16
The life span of an average k9 living on the streets is about half of those who live in residential areas.
Here we see the k9's owner has overdosed on his favorite illicit substance. Hungry, the poor dog must now feast on his beloved companion in order to survive.
Thus the circle of life is completed... for the crack whore.
*pssssss* AAAAAAAH....

 

by brycekain
10-11-16
Did you know space chickens can fart?
See?

 

by brycekain
10-11-16
Did you know space chickens can fart on earth, too?
See?
Blew the fuckin' window right off, I did!

 

by brycekain
10-11-16
I'm not sure about these new revisions to the script, sir.
Just voice over what we wrote in and we'll call it a day, ok? aaaaaannd.... ACTION!
...AND IN THIS CORNER, WEIGHING IN AT 10 oz, HE'S NOT THE RAGIN' CAJUN! YOU KNOW HIM BETTER AS....
THE RAGE-QUITTING CAJUN...
WHY MUST YOU KEEP TORMENTING ME???

 

by brycekain
10-13-16
Do I file this under First World problem or should I also be Third World inclusive...?
Also, how DOES one shove a bunch of anal beads THAT big up their ass... in the library... QUIETLY??

 

by brycekain
10-13-16
These works of art are atrocious!
Sir, I'll have you know these paintings were done by none other than the great Spoodini Himself!
The whose-e-fucksit?
The great Spoodini paints with only the finest menstrual blood the world over. Right over here we have a Natalie Portman piece.
And naturally this is the point where I must grant you some time to figure out whether to be disgusted, turned on, or disgusted with yourself while jerking off in the corner.

 

by brycekain
10-13-16
Ok, what are you doing now?
Admiring the previous comic.
You would.
This one might be a masterpiece.
Just don't "whitewash" all the walls in here again.

 

by brycekain
10-13-16
Hey, Billy?
What?
Whacha doin'?
Farting rainbows.
Carry on.

Showing page 26.

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