stripcreator archive (2001-2026)

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All comics by ObiJo

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Some of my series:
How things really work at Lowpass
OJ
Therawoodseet
Donkey Boy!
Inside the Actor's Studio
Hello Reader
R2BeatU
Awareness
Alphabet Soup
I think it's over between us

 

Something We've All Wondered by ObiJo 3-16-01
		So, umm, what's with the red third eyebrow? Never you mind.

 

Though Modesty Isn't One of his Strong Suits by ObiJo 3-16-01
		I rock.

 

Another Perk of First Class over Coach by ObiJo 3-16-01
		Room for one more.

 

Check! by ObiJo 3-16-01
We had a reservation for an hour ago and we still haven't gotten in!	Simmer down, honey. It could be worse. Worse?! How could it possibly...	...be...worse... Neal Johnson, party of one.

 

But the Nike Shirt can Stay by ObiJo 3-16-01
Is it absolutely... Yes.	But can't I just... No.	Why can't I just bust this bottle over their heads? Look, if you want the Reaper in Training position, you'll have to get over your scythe aversion.

 

Complimentary Water, Passenger 246? by ObiJo 3-17-01
Stewardess Tonight our dinner choices are Bag O' Peanuts or Spork and Beans.	Turbulence	Justice Shall we start with the pitchfork impaling or the sodomy?

 

Two Men Hiding in the Bush's by ObiJo 3-17-01
Sure looks cozy in there. Ya, I betcha they even got cable.		Fucking Florida.

 

Comic Contest XIII: Feel grateful this isn't Wayne's World by ObiJo 3-19-01
Take One Chinese people, we don't cuss... Dick Licker, Dick Licker!	Take Two Chinese people don't fucking cuss... Ah So, Ah So.	Fuck it, let's start the actors' strike early. Chinese people cuss. Yep.

 

Comic Contest XIV:The World's First Haiku Limerick by Twins! by ObiJo 3-21-01
Here is a story; From the best category; And do not worry Or be too upset; If you don’t give a she-yet; For here is the bet	Yes, here is the schtick; Can we write a limerick; Can we write it quick? I once knew a girl; Who had come from Nantucket; Whatever she saw…	She would then..umm...DAMN! Idiot.

 

What would Brian Boitano do? by ObiJo 3-22-01
Though the Confederacy was eventually defeated, more than one Union soldier soiled themself when they first saw the south's secret weapon, the Sodomizer 5000.		Come to daddy.

 

Name a word that rhymes with ord by ObiJo 3-23-01
When Ord the Orkin Man and Beatrice Beetle called off their romance, someone was bound to get hurt.	And Ord never saw the board coming. Irony.	Hey, if I only need 2 frames, I only use 2 frames. SOME of us care about the environment.

 

Sadly, only their engorged anuses were ever found by ObiJo 3-23-01
While the Antartic diggers were initially ecstatic about their double find, they became less so when they realised that Godzilla and the Sodomizer 5000 were both in working condition.		And boy were they pissed. Sqeal Piggies.

 

I'm sorry. by ObiJo 3-23-01
Sometimes you feel like a mutt.		Sometimes you goat.

 

Honor thy mother and father by ObiJo 3-23-01
My mom taught me never to splurge. She told me never to be gluttonous, and only use those frames I needed, so as not to make the comic writers in third-world countries feel bad about our opulence.	This frame is in honor of her.	My dad, however, was more on the sadistic side. Colors, colors, everywhere! And many diverse characters! The food from All-You-Can-Eat Pizza just got here. Plus, we have so many gallons of water, I think we should start pouring some out.

 

Meeting of Minds, Part 1 by ObiJo 3-23-01
What's new, Gabe? You know. Same ole, same ole. How bout with you?	Oh, just testing a new idea where the comic writer talks to the toons. Might be some funny aspects in it, but at the least it's good conversation. Oh.	What, you don't like the idea? It's just that where I come from it's customary to be clothed for conversation, ObiJo.

 

Meeting of Minds - Part 2 by ObiJo 3-23-01
Ok, now that you're seated, maybe we can talk about this a little more calmly. I'm still not comfortable with the nakedness, ObiJo.	Come on. Relax. We're all friends here. Naturalism is refreshing. Personally, if I was hung like you, naked time wouldn't be at the top of my list.	You were saying? My, what a large penis you have.

 

Meeting of Minds - Part 3 by ObiJo 3-23-01
Have you learned your lesson? Yes.	Good! Ok, let's change subjects. Umm, how about the stock market. Any opinions? Well, the market seems to be in a...downturn. From what I can see, I don't expect a rebound any time soon. In fact, I'd say it's flaccid.	Subtlety was never one of my strong suits.

 

Meeting of Minds 4 - What was I thinking? by ObiJo 3-24-01
Jesus, what was I thinking, Maura!? I should have been doing this all along! Could you put on some pants.	Come on, sweetheart. Don't be shy. Look, I'm serious about the pants thing.	Closing your eyes won't help. You're still visualizing me, huh? Yep. You and weapons and blood loss.

 

Comic Contest XVI - If I'm co-dependent, you're the enabler by ObiJo 3-25-01
I can separate you two, but it's pretty expensive. And I don't take checks. Whatever it takes to get this clingy bastard away from me, Doc.	Clingy?! How could you say such a thing! All done. You boys feel better now?	Much better! You'reATrueLifesaver,Doc. I miss him already. I don't get it.

 

Tom Hanks knew there was only one way to get his 3rd Oscar by ObiJo 3-28-01
The General that became a slave... I got jipped for Apollo 13 and Saving Private Ryan.	The slave that became a Gladiator... Not to mention Bachelor Party.	The actor hog tied aboard a skiff who was about to become an anchor. Plus Meg Ryan can only have one leading man. Mmmf! Mmmf!

 

Uh huh. Oh yeah. by ObiJo 3-29-01
Uh huh. Oh yeah. Uh huh. Oh yeah.	Hey, if you're a cow, why do you only have one utter? Just get back down there and keep milking.	Uh huh. Oh yeah. Uh huh. Oh yeah.

 

Please Don't Squeeze the Charmin by ObiJo 3-30-01
Mary's home You're tearing me up inside! Now, either tell your wife your leaving her...or...or I'm leaving you! Bob Dole's afraid to tell Elizabeth. Bob Dole knows what few know about Elizabeth: her prowess with cutlery.	FBI Headquarters So you infilitrated the ranch, right Scully? Any signs of aliens? Well, something was certainly infiltrated, Mulder. TeeHee. I was, err, a little preoccupied to look for aliens.	At Ed's Ranch What are you doing out of your room? There could be agents everywhere! Lighten up, Ed. I just came to ask where you keep the extra toilet paper. I have a plan to WIPE out those pesky agents. Here it is...

 

Comic Contest XVII - The tank since I have gas by ObiJo 3-31-01
Some may laugh at them... What is your favorite kind of ice cream and what do you do with it? I like Chunky Monkey. And I'd LICK every last ounce.	Some may even mock them... If you could be any part of an automobile, what part would you be and why? I'd be the ignition so you could turn me on. No...wait...no need. You're already doing that, love muffin.	But surveyors need phone sex too. If we were making whoopie, what kind of sounds would you make? Weeping. Most definitely weeping.

 

CCXVIII - The Evolution of Religion by ObiJo 4-02-01
Wigsley Caves, Central Europe, 32,974 B.C. Bahh. Bahh? Hmm.	Idol Tree Plains, Mesopotamia, 4,211 B.C. Great Statue of Baal, I have journied far to reach you. And now, standing on the Idol Tree Plains, my soul is at rest in the presence of your infinite wisdom.	Crazy Al's Free Love Cathedral, 3924 A.D. (EST) Help me, Lord! For the scriptures say, "Do everything your father does say, for your mother likes it that way. Also, brush regularly." But my father has told me just to floss! Oh, damn my wicked fate!

 

I'm pretty sure this is in bad taste, so I'm doing my job. by ObiJo 4-02-01
Let's get naked. I'm ill equipped, and you know it. Must you mock me!?!	I'm REALLY good in bed. Damn you, devil woman, I'll end my life before I let you disparage my manhood one more time!	Welcome to heaven. Bless me father for I am about to sin. And it's gonna be a whopper.

 

The Evolution of the Politician by ObiJo 4-03-01
First Term So in short, I think that our economy is on the uprise and all we need is that good ole can-do American spirit. Well, you've got my vote, sir.	Fourth Term $o in $hort, I think that our economy i$ on the upri$e and all we need is that good ole can-do American $pirit. I don't know about this guy.	Ted Kennedy Land $$ $$ $$$$$, $ $$$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$$$$$ $$ $$ $$$ $$$$$$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$$ $$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$-$$ $$$$$$$$ $$$$$$. Bugger off.

 

And it's cold. by ObiJo 4-03-01
Damn, man. I went to the bar last night and didn't stop till I had downed like 30! Shit! Like an ice river flowing faster than the regular snow! Sometimes up to a half mile a year!	Umm. Yeah. Anyway, I got pretty drunk and told some big guy to go fuck his mother cause I was tired of the job. He came after me, but I ran the hell away. Boy was that close! And dangerous! Not unlike a snow crevice. The crevices can reach up to 300 feet deep and are lightly covered by falling snow, making it a deathtrap!	Let me guess. You watched Nova last night, didn't you? Does a glacier break away from an ice shelf?

 

If John Doe sees this, his head will explode by ObiJo 4-03-01
Ok, let's go over it one more time. Does everyone know their jobs? I'll wait till he's asleep and sneek in and do the maintenance on the remote telstimulation radiowave implants.	I’ll take care of the human experimentation, attempted murders, torture, extreme rape tortures, Gang Rape, Homosexual Rape, armed Robberies, Burglaries, Medical Malpractice, Slavery, and extortion. I’ll do the false incarceration, false arrest, torture, kidnapping, hostage holding, terrorism, organized crime, extortion, drug dealing, prostitution, Pedophilia, child molestation, and embezzlemen	I'll dress up as a drug dealer and hang around his car. I'll drive 700 miles and steal his mail.

 

Diabetes Cha Cha Cha by ObiJo 4-04-01
Oh mama! Sorry.	Sorry Schmorry. Now I'm bleary-eyed AND sore. I feel terrible.	Look, you could have told me I was PART of the Burro Show. What and ruin the surprise?

 

Oh, Knock Knock jokes. My old friend. by ObiJo 4-04-01
Knock Knock. Who's there?	Two mute asian girls with a penchant for green. Two mute asian girls with a penchant for green who?

 

Meanwhile at HighPass Strip Creator, Bizzaro Universe by ObiJo 4-04-01
		Only if I can have your nuts! Pervert!

 

Serial Comic - He's a lumberjack and that's OK by ObiJo 4-04-01
Growing sick of them... Oh, Mary! That was great! Bob Dole's never gone three times straight before!	Mary decides to teach them both a lesson... Let Bob Dole take off that costume so Bob Dole can get a look at you.	So she bound and gagged Robert Downey Jr. inside the Red Robot costume before Bob got home. Bob Dole curses Viagra! Medic.

 

Craig T. Nelson for President by ObiJo 4-04-01
Move away from the light Carol Anne! Please, honey, run away from the light!	Carol Anne, this is your father! Get away from the light! There are terrible things at the light!

 

Sure, Ted Bundy had his faults, but boy could he Mambo. by ObiJo 4-05-01
Now don't forget to drop off that check at Red Cross like your mom asked. Also, remember to write a thank you note to Ed for the chicken wings.	God, I hate my consciensce. It always takes the form of half a hooker and floats around my ear whispering what I should do. I mean, give me a break! I'm old enough to know what to do by now! I've, umm, never quite had that problem.	Kill him! Kill him NOW! While his back is turned and the fleshy part of his neck is exposed!

 

I am the egg man by ObiJo 4-05-01
All you need is love. ARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!		Not a Beatles fan? Can't say that I am, no.

 

Of mice and men by ObiJo 4-05-01
	CHARGE!!!	Though it was a very quick and senseless battle, at least it was a morale builder.

 

Except for the killing, it was definitely a gentleman's war. by ObiJo 4-05-01
	Red Rover, Red Rover, Send Stevey right over!	Oh, me? Hehe. Ok.

 

Side view of a really fucked up Merry-Go-Round by ObiJo 4-05-01

 

God how I love soldier jokes by ObiJo 4-05-01
Though Infantryman Joe feared for both his and his horse's lives, he knew if he got the flag wet he'd really be in some deep do-do.

 

Mark Twain was one cool Mamma Jamma by ObiJo 4-05-01
Roger didn't know which he despised more: living on a house boat, or his strict mother's love of vocabulary.	Wadya thro me ofer for? Jus cuz'n I don' know what jet'son mean?	Indubitably.

 

Comic Contest XIX - Brother X's separated by the Berlin Wall by ObiJo 4-05-01
Hi, Bill. Hey, Cindy! Wanna come back to my place so I can show you my Velociraper?	Did you just call your Sperminator a Velociraper? Ya, so?	Shady Acres Mental Facility Time for your Ziprasidone, Mr. Jones. Tell me about the Lost Boys again.

 

Duel 2 the Pain by ObiJo 4-05-01
There's no other way to solve it, goat_droppings? 'Fraid not, Obi-Schmoe. Pick your weapon!	Weapon-Picking Music, a soft melody. I'm thinking Chopin.	Good choice, genius. Hey, papercuts can be deadly!

 

Please Go Away by ObiJo 4-05-01
Please go away. Now that's one gigantic noggin.	Please go away. You know, that tiny neck has neither the compressive strength nor the countering torque to support that planetoid.	Please go away. On the upside, though, you probably never have to worry about falling through a manhole.

 

That's Okay by ObiJo 4-05-01
I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I go to the lavatory. On Wednesdays...Thursdays...Umm, hey, when's shopping day?		Ahhh, who cares? The butter scones and tea just got here!

 

The Pro-Nihilism Ads Seem to be Working by ObiJo 4-05-01
A nihilist? Why the hell are you a nihilist? Why would anyone NOT be a nihilist! Let me explain...	All the free love your heart desires! And I'm very supple. Money, jewels, fame, and cars! Whatever you wish, it is yours!	I think you were misinformed about nihilism. No, I know about the complimentary mints too, I just forgot to mention them.

 

Sure this is a 2nd grade joke, but that was a good year by ObiJo 4-05-01
I heard a knock knock joke today, but you have to start it.	OK. Knock Knock. Who's there?	Ummm...welllll...HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW?!? HaHaHa.

 

Charged and Convincted of Misspelling the Very First Word by ObiJo 4-06-01
Ever heard the phrase, I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six?		That's never been more true.

 

3 Ways to know BZFlag has affected your driving by ObiJo 4-06-01
When a car cuts you off, you right click the defrost button, then left click the lighter, hoping a GM will take it out. Can't get a lock! Damn lag!	When you see cars that are the same color as yours, you honk and wave since they're on your team. Hey Blue! Let's get that Red Honda over there!	When you get in an accident, you give very strange excuses to the policeman. I'm telling you, the guy must have been cloaked. He came out of nowhere. How much have you had to drink tonight, son?

 

Anyone ever driven through the panhandle? by ObiJo 4-09-01
No, Edna, more F-stop.	Shut up, Frank, and go put this roll in the R.V.	Photographing a 40-foot Jesus poses some lighting and damnation problems. Now it's just you and me, big boy.

 

CCXXI - L'homosexualité latente trouve une voie de se montr by ObiJo 4-09-01
Train station...train station...where's train station? This Translation Sheet is terrible! Oh, maybe this will work: Veuillez violer mon bout tendre avec un hareng rouge. Sûr, pourquoi pas? J'ai une demi-heure avant que j'obtienne les gosses.	Stay with us! Forget the plot! Yes, forget the third panel and stay with us in forests of azure.	Well, that was obviously, "Please manrape me with a red herring." Let's try this: Cette fois, marques il plus dur et plus profond, docteur d'amour. Why do I think in English?

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