All comics by RizzleMcIzzle

Profile

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-16-05
Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Arm!
Hey folks, I'm just a lowly old arm. You know, being an arm is great, but it's tough work.
You have to lift a lot of things, and scratch a lot of things, and touch a lot of things...
Speak of the devil...
Where's my mom?

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-16-05
CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS,CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS.
CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS,CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS.
CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS,CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS, CATS.
Feed me.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-16-05
Have you heard about that new pirate movie?
No.
Just say yes.
Fine, yes.
***face.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-16-05
The water cooler, where all the cool cats and hot babes converse.
Thanks again for the lovely night, Cecil. I had a lot of fun, if you know what I mean, heh heh.
Yeah, whateva.
Well, I have to go back to the office. Check ya later, babe.
Yeah, whateva.
Back in the office...
YOU HAVE 3 NEW STDS.
Oh, d@mnit.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-18-05
Anybody from BUTM.com...
Hello, Jesus. It's me, [Name]. Listen, we really need to talk.
Hello, my son. You know you can tell me anything.
Ok. Well you see, I post on this forum called BUTM, and all the members there don't think you exist. In fact, they make fun of you in comics and...
.......
Jesus?
I have no son.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-19-05
Hey, chief. Whatcha doin'?
Not much. Just making comics...
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by RizzleMcIzzle
1-19-05
Halloween
Trick or Treat!
You have some nerve, child. How dare you come to my door on this sacrilegious night dressed up like one of the devil's harlots...
Several minutes later...
You young ones these days, begging people for candy, carrying on like hooligans, not saying your prayers, and sinning like the dickins. I oughta...
Wait, why are we in a space station?

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-20-05
Well, I finally finished my experiment, but what'll I do about all these papers? I couldn't possibly keep them all together for long!
Woohoo! Hey buddy, I'm Cliff the paper clip! Why don't you use me! Don't worry, I'm here to help!
HOLY SH!T!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-20-05
I finally made it to Hollywood! This is so awesome! I can't wait to see all the celebrities!
Any second now...
Who are you?
I'm Jeff Goldblum.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-24-05
Boo Colors!
Yeah, black and white forever!
Colors suck!
You bet!
Suddenly, this narration came up...
Hey WTF?! We hate yellow! Get out of here narration!
I wish I was red...

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-24-05
A little girl's picture...
Hee haw! Hee haw!
Rawr! Rawr!
In fact, it was this little girl's picture...
See what happens when you draw pictures, children?

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-24-05
Fire 3! 365 HP!
Battle Axe! 187 HP!
Protect! DEF UP!
Viking saves his power for one turn...
This is boring, wanna get drunk? I got 1000 gold.
Wait, let me finish this turn.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-24-05
A young demon comes home from school...
Hi dad... *sigh
Hey, what's the matter son?
... and so does a problem!
Aw, dad. My teacher gave me a bad note today. She said to give it to mom.
Hold on, I'll go get her, then we'll all talk about this...
Hi momma Rosie...
Hey ya little cutie pa-tooty!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-24-05
FROM THE LAFF LOUNGE, IT'S LIVE PROP COMEDY!
*Test, *Test, is this thing on ... am I on? heheh, just kidding folks.
So, uh, I've been doing stand up for a while now, thanks to this 'stand' of course. heheh. He's my best friend...
I'm pretty famous now. Sometimes, people walk up to me and ask, "Hey, are you 'Mike' Nelson?" heheh... people usually like that one.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-24-05
FROM THE LAFF LOUNGE, IT'S LIVE PROP COMEDY!
Yo, what's up, everybody? Time to burn the house down, eh?
Yeah, so uh, anybody see that house fire on Channel 4? Yeah, that was my cousin, John. Crazy guy...
My father was an arson and my mother was a box of matches!!!! Thanks folks, goodnight!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-24-05
FROM THE LAFF LOUNGE, IT'S LIVE PROP COMEDY!
Hey, ya'll. How's everybody doing? I'm sure you've heard a lot about me on the news. I'm a weapon of mass destruction.
Yup, they finally found me. See, I was hitchhiking down route 10 because I ran away from Iraq. Saddam, he just wasn't really supportive of me, you know? So anyway...
Hey everybody! It's me the mic again! From earlier on tonight!
Dude, you're ruining my act! I was killing up here... literally! Haha! Thanks folks, you were great.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-24-05
FROM THE LAFF LOUNGE, IT'S LIVE PROP COMEDY!
Greetings, everyone. Hey, what do I say when somebody asks me if I've seen someone smelly? I say, "I C... PU!"
So, uh, I see it snowed out the other day. I think I'm going to go 'keyboarding'!
Look out everyone, it's a mouse! Man, this place is a health code violation! Or at least it would be if that wasn't MY mouse! Haha, thanks guys, you were awesome.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-24-05
FROM THE LAFF LOUNGE, IT'S LIVE PROP COMEDY!
Hello, how's everyone doing 2-kinght?! You know, a couple weeks ago I was doing a show in 'Queens'!
One time, I went to a 'pawn' shop...
You know what? Maybe comedy's not for me... Sorry folks. I'll just pack up my pieces and go home.... :-(

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-24-05
FROM THE LAFF LOUNGE, IT'S LIVE PROP COMEDY!
Hey, hey, hey! What a crowd! Well, you guys, I gotta warn all the hecklers out there, if you make fun of me, you can just 'sit on it, Potsie!'
Yeah, so uh, anybody see that house fire on Channel 4? Yeah my brother burned up in there. The fire's cousin, John started it I hear. Crazy guy...
Fire! Man, I did NOT know you were here! I'm so sorry, man.
Dude, you stole my act!.. Oh man, I burned up Mikey! Noooooo!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-28-05
FROM THE LAFF LOUNGE, IT'S LIVE PROP COMEDY!
Greetings, everyone. Sorry I'm so late tonight, but I lost my way and someone 'lead' me here... ha.
So I was watching my favorite movie the other night, 'Eraser'...
All right folks, I have to go take a number 2, goodnight!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-28-05
HOOK: The deleted scenes and takes you were never meant to see...
Dude, look. I found Tootles' marbles.
Aw, man gross. Those are testicles!
Don't mess with me, Man! I'm a lawyer!
Peter, what the hell are you talking about?!
Bring me Peter Pan!
Mr. Hoffman, that movie was made over a decade ago. This is the set for Pirates of the Caribbean.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-28-05
HOOK: The deleted scenes and takes you were never meant to see...
Run home, Jack! Run home!
You and your demands... you're such a woman.
Hi, I'm Bob Hoskins.
Why is the guy from 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit' in the women's bathroom?
Yo, yo, yo! We da lost boyz yo! Bangerang, Biatch!
Yeah, man. Let's go make out with Wendy even though she's like 80 and eat invisible food.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
1-28-05
HOOK: The deleted scenes and takes you were never meant to see...
That was a great game.
Game?! Rufio's dead!
Peter Pan's my dad?
No, our dad is a drunk who doesn't pay child support.
Good form, Jack... by which I mean your penis.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-03-05
This is dedicated to everyone who said positive things about my comics...
Your comics are awesome, Ryan.
I like your comics, Ryan.
Your comics made me laugh, Ryan.
Thanks guys. I knew being an asian girl would pay off!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-03-05
Goat attends the Civil War (which looks like WW2 or something) in his quest to find color...
Halt! What is your business, civilian?!
I want to join you guys. I think blue is a good color for me.
Suddenly...
Don't join them, boy. Join the Confederacy, support slavery!
hmmm....
And now the horrible ending!
I've decided... I want to be whip lash red... and I hate slavery.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-04-05
An average convenience store... with an unusual employee.
HELLO, YOUNG CUSTOMER. HOW MAY I SERVE YOU ON THIS LOVELY DAY?
Just give me a pack of smokes, man.
Later that day...
HELLO, OFFICER. HOW MAY I SERVE YOU ON THIS LOVELY DAY?
Uh, did you sell a pack of cigarettes to a little girl earlier?
SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE INITIATED.
Ha, I thought only 7-11 employees were armed with explosives... get it?!?!?!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-04-05
Shapeshifter Comedy Hour!
Hey, look at me! I'm "If Gilbet Gottfried was an owl praying"!
Now I'm your crazy neighbor who's always too loud when he's watching the football game!
I can even be Simon Cowell! Listen... "You are possibly the worst singer I've ever heard." That's all for tonight folks! Be sure to buy one of my CDs.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-04-05
Rizzle types away like a man mad, desperately trying to improve his post count on BUTM.com...
Awesome! At this rate, I'll have 500 posts in no time!
Meanwhile, in his Compu-Lair, Brain Stew carries out a new plan to thwart Rizzle's one... plan that is.
Muwhahahahaha! With my super-duper PostMaster General 5000, I can increase my post count to the MAX!!! and...
Back at Rizzle's place...
This is your computer blowing up!!!!
My precious post count! Noooooo! Curse you, Brain Stew! Curse Yoooouuuuu!!!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-04-05
Back in the Compu-Lair, Brainstew works hard to take over BUTM...
So the way I see is like this: We take about 2000 post from Cpt Planet and TJ each and put them in a Swiss bank vault.
bzzzz.....
Then we take a thousand from PUNT, Julie, Botts, and Steve, each of course. We can give those to some Ethiopian kids. They'll eat anything... Sound good?
bzzzz.....
Some time later...
Hey, man.
Hey, Clyde. Can you believe that Brain Stew guy? Where does he come off, ya know?

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-05-05
Two ninjas sit under a narration and chat quietly over some fine Italian cuisine...
Mike, ever notice how we're often the butt of jokes?
What are you talking about, Dwayne?
You know, like when kids wanna be funny and random, they just mention a ninja somewhere?
Yeah! They're all like, "I'm a ninja" or "Hey, wouldn't it be funny if a squirrel was a ninja?". They also incorporate many ninja stereotypes as well.
Hey, I don't have any money on me... do you?
No, let's just deploy our smoke bombs and slip out stealthily.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-05-05
I bet I could make you break your vow of silence.
No you couldn't...
Haha, I won!
After beating the crap out of him...
I never took a vow of silence.
My last wish is to see Disneyworld.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-05-05
You're in my trash can, b'tch!
Well you're on my turf, b'tch. I oughta slice you up, sucka!
You ain't piercin' this exo-skizz-eleton, b'tch! So back off!
OK, you're the boss.
Tony Danza?! B'tch plz, I ain't no garbage pickin' field goal kickin' Philadelphia Phenomenon!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-05-05
It apears Jim is up to his old antics again...
Hey sweetcheeks, you lookin' awfully hot and squarey!
Well you're looking just plan awful. Seriously, was your facial hair drawn by a five year old?
Darn, shot down.... hmmmm... ?
I sure showed him...
I couldn't think of a way to end this one...
While you were looking the other way, I shoved my magical thinking finger up your butt so now you're constipated.
Awwwww.... man, he REALLY couldn't think of a way to end this one!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-05-05
Billy talks to a girl...
OH YEAH!!!!!
Billy meets girl...
OH YEAH!!!!
Billy has a girl...
OH SH!T! WTF have I done?!?!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-05-05
Give me all your money, you old fart!
Just forgive my sins, you old fart!
What's the matter? Can't fart?

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-10-05
Hey man, how you doin'?
Eh, I'm doing 'allwhite'.
Hahaha! allwhite?! Hahaha, good one.
Hahahaha, yeah...
Seriously though, I'm going to f**king kill myself.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-11-05
Cpt Planet unleashes his anger...
GOD DAMN IT STOP IT WITH THIS SHIT.
And get rid of your giant gay sig.
Jesus Christ I hate you.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-12-05
I lost my home, my car, my dignity, my self-respect, my will to live on, all my possessions were destroyed, my wife left me, my God has forsaken me, my clothes smell like vomit...
...my kids were brutally murdered, my neighbor was devoured alive, my left arm was nearly torn off, I was forced to watch 'Carpool' over and over again, I haven't been able to get an erection...
... all Because of Winn-Dixie!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-18-05
ROUND 1 : Fight!
I win!
ROUND 2 : Fight!
I win!
Yeah! I won again!
It's not fair. You always get to be the black guy.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-18-05
Huh? Something's close by...
DIE!!
What the hell?!
This is for Peter Cottontail, you rabbit poaching mother fucker.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-18-05
So then I tell him, "Fine, have your stupid astronaut ice cream, you dumb prick". And he's all like, "I'll cream you!"
Hours later...
So then I kicked him and he went flying! 'Cause you know, there's no gravity and he was all like...
OK, I'd love to hear the rest of your story, but the earth's water is green, I'm out of oxygen, and I really could go for some astronaut ice cream.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-18-05
So I'm going away on this stupid trip with my family to Montana for get this... two whole weeks!
Oh, I'm sorry, baby. I'll miss you though.
I'll miss you too. I wish I had something to remember you by...
Tell you what: Get me a pair of scissors and I'll give you a lock of my hair.
Not that again! Cripes, you've given me hair for Christmas, my birthday, Valentine's Day and even when I got that job with Locks of Love!
What the hell doesn't this restuarant have chairs?!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-19-05
Hey baby, what's up? You know what time it is, right? Time for collection.
Here you go, little boy. A nickel for you.
What the hell, bitch?! I've been pimpin' you for 25 years and for the last two you've only made $4.82! What gives?!
I'm sorry, kiddo. I've been busy...
Busy doing what?!
Giving people sex for free.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-19-05
Ok, collection time, Sweetchecks 4000!
NOTHING...
Nothing?!
...
I BROKE HER PELVIS...

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-19-05
No, "ho ho ho" is my line!
No, it's not! It's mine!
So, uh... how much did you make me tonight?
$10000
Damn, I'll let you keep the line then.
Thanks. All the customers were good little girls and boys... I mean just girls! I'm not gay or anything hehheheheh... *sigh.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-19-05
Because I'm fucking Rosie O'Donnell!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-19-05
Because I'm fucking Rosie O'Donnell!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-19-05
Yeah, so you like the soup?
Like it?! I love it! That reminds me, Sarah told me to make a comic about soup.
What did you tell her?
I said, "Screw you, that's so dumb."
Really?!
Shit no! I love Sarah... more than this soup!!!!!

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-19-05
BREAKING NEWS: WATCHING TELEVISION CAUSES CANCER! MORE ON THIS IN A MOMENT!
Damn, I better stick around for those important details.
A commercial break...
KIDS SEATS ARE STILL JUST 5 BUCKS!
Damn, still?! How do they make money off of those things?!
OK, WE'RE BACK... AND YOU NOW HAVE CANCER.

 

by RizzleMcIzzle
2-19-05
So the way I see it is, if I wear this vest, Sarah will think I'm cool. She's such an anglophile...
The role of Sarah will be played by MachinaX250
Hey Sarah! You're looking prettier than London Bridge today...
Enemy detected...
Um... cheerio?!
Elimination Sequence: Activated!

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