All comics by Vicious203

 

by Vicious203
1-31-05
Welcome to America! Where Amish and Santa live happily in unison!
Bitch I'll cut you up like a Christmas goose if ya'll don't rep the NoPo!
Sir, I believe thou art abouteth to geteth thine asseth kickethed.
Not like smelly China, where squirells are higher on the food chain than girls, and everything is in ruins.
You want this yen? Then dance! Dance damn you!
*sniff* 1-2 cha cha cha, 3-4...
Hell, the rest of this doesn't even have to make sense because we know you'll come here anyway!
So like...what's your name?
For the love of God open the door!

 

by Vicious203
1-31-05
Blind Date for a Nerd: #1
So uh...what are your hobbies?
Wow! I'm a robot! I am so diggin this arm thing right now! I only have one, but dude, it's a claw!
Blind Date for a Nerd: #2
Please God let global warming occur...
I don't get why people don't like me so much...I mean, guys are always wondering where I was for half a year, and break up with me...*sigh*
Blind Date For a Nerd: #3 (If you're a gamer, you'll get this, so ha! Screw you popular folk!)
Someone please jam a tree in my ear...
So...Tycho tells me you're into Morrowind?

 

by Vicious203
2-01-05
6:48 p.m.
...Alright, we're pushin hour 7...must...not...collapse
Howdy Jerry!
What in God's name...?
I am your magical fairy, brought to bring you happiness and joy!
Alright Alright, I'll turn it off!!!!
And I'm also here to tell you that Yuna and Rikku are waiting in your '78 Pinto for a little "Final Fantasy!"

 

by Vicious203
2-01-05
Hey look it's Satan!
You will bow down to me, for I have...a big ol' fork
I'm not wearing pants! But you guys don't know that, do you!?
And now for something completely different!
This bold line shall not protect you, Senor Coldo!
Damn am I sorry for this
Where did I leave that bag of groceries?...
For the last time, I told you I'm leaving you!!!

 

by Vicious203
2-02-05
10:12 p.m.
C'mon, just three more frags...!
Why don't you ever pay any attention to me anymore!?
What? Damn it, I'm trying to kill some 11 year old who thinks he's a god in UT. I have priorities damn it!
Do ALL your priorities include spending hours at night playing your stupid games instead of giving me love!?
10:40 p.m.
Damn woman. First she wants to make with the horizontal monster mash, and now I can't find her. I'm goin to the bar
Heheheh, works every time!

 

by Vicious203
2-02-05
...So he was like, "You're damn right that's my leg, now get it out of the punch bowl!"
RING!
That's what I said! Hmm...Well, I better find my best friend Nate...where'd he go?
RING!..RING!
Hey! Nate left a note! "Dear idiot, I found out how to work the doorknob. Stop bothering me!"
Screw this I'm leaving

 

by Vicious203
2-03-05
Holy Christmas, I didn't see shit!
Aieee! Our forbidden love has been found out!
Well look on the bright side...which is...uh...run!

 

by Vicious203
2-03-05
In the future, aliens and humans will live together!
CUZ WE GOT, HIIIIGH HOPES, WE GOT, HIIIIGH HOPES!...
What the hell are you doing?
I'MA SINGIN MA SAWNG!
Well could you like...not? I mean, your mouth is as big as my head!
SO IS MY SHOTGUN! I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!
That's it, I'm outta here!

 

by Vicious203
2-03-05
Washington, D.C. 13 o Clock
Uh huh..
Mr. President, I represent the CIA's Trenchcoat Division. My name is Trenchy McTrench.
To be continued...
Whoa! You're like James Bond!
I have the secret plans you wanted, and am now displaying them in the coolest way possible.

 

by Vicious203
2-03-05
Washington D.C., 13 o Clock and a bottle of Nickels...(don't ask)
Mr. President, I shall now stand over here because it's easier for the
What the hell are you talking about?
You see Mr. President, the CIA have discovered that the case you hold right now isn't the Nuclear Football
Football's on!? Who's playin'?
Alright, let's put it in words you understand...Gimme the damn case
What case?

 

by Vicious203
2-03-05
Washington D.C., [Insert Time Here]
For the last time, damn it, give me the case!
Look, I got my uh...laundry in here, and it's kind of embarassing. You know, what with another man touching my underoos?
Listen, we know what you keep in there, so if you don't give me the case now I'll-!
They know about Senor Fluffkins!?
~Le Fin
Uh...no, I meant about the pounds of narcotics...I didn't need to know about your teddy-Hey!
We must cross the border, Senor Fluffkins! Mwahaha!

 

by Vicious203
2-03-05
Hey boy's and girls! I'm Clappy according to my driver's liscence, and I'm here to tell you about narcotics!
Whoa...cool halucination! I gotta get more of these shrooms, man!
I sure hope you're not talking about halucenogenics! Those are drugs!
Oh really? Well then this must be a trip, because you're turning into a christmas tree dude!
Holy fuck! Check out these effects! God damn I miss college!

 

by Vicious203
2-04-05
Hmm...
Yeah...
So you wanna...I dunno
Get high?
You said it, not me
Fuck you and get in the car

 

by Vicious203
2-04-05
In the theatre...
My ass itches
There can be...
Did I go to the bathroom?
Only one...group of three friends
Heheh, well NOW I did..

 

by Vicious203
2-09-05
It's now time for the International Dictionary Day!
What the hell does "moxie" mean?
I have no idea, but someone told me I have "a lot of it."
By the way, I'm on the right and that's my best friend Boris.
I think it's an ethnic slur!
Why is it a "slur"? Is it only said when someone is drunk?
Why the hell are we in a cave, anyway?
Well fuck, I don't care! Let's just go "Reverse Exorcise" his ass, if you catch my drift!
Whelp...Can't argue with that logic! I'll go get the Chevy!

 

by Vicious203
2-28-05
Hello, I'm Paul Revere and I'm here to talk to you about VD's
A VD is kind of like an STD, but lucky you, it never goes away and it won't kill you!
So for some of you lucky chums, you get to be in excrutiating pain for your whole lives! Like with herpes!
Well, luckily I have some protection, so I'll be riding all night! Get it? Cuz I'm Paul Revere? Riding!?

 

by Vicious203
3-02-05
On a flowy evening of flowiness...
I'm on a bench.
I bet you're damn proud of yourself you hefty bag of down syndrome!
No one shall take my bench.
You can't hear me can you?
The bench is civilization!
You have down syndrome.

 

by Vicious203
3-02-05
Hello! I am NinjaMan! NinjaMan shall ha-whack you with his cool ninja numchucks!
Oh yeah? Well I'm a wizard, the pimp of the fantasy setting. I got my cane, my hat, my robe.
When he says poof, assume he's waving his staff of mightyness.
But...NinjaMan is a Ninja! With super cool numchucks!
Oh yeah? Well watch this! *poof*
What the hell!? You little punk, I'm gonna cut you so bad nugga! And why did you give me a black accent you Big Daddy Cane wannabe!?
Why not? This is a comic strip and I'm a wizard. Now I'm off! Wizard away!

 

by Vicious203
3-03-05
Monday
*Slither slither*
*singing* Bitches, hoes, bitches and hoes, who gots the hoes? I got them hoes!
Wednesday
Yes, my child? Is there something I can help you with?
Yeah, see, I'm an ex-con. I was arrested for attempted art.
Sunday
My parents hate me.
...Bitch, I hate you!

 

by Vicious203
3-29-05
I am the Vicious
w00t! Everyone thinks im cool because im just like you except older! nurr na nurr!
You're just copying me
Am not, you copy me cuz you're younger! I'm gonna go bitch about how much you suck because you're a kid! nurr hurr hurr!
So what happened to Zer0?
He had an accident. Involving chlorine, a garbage disposal, and some clothes pins..

 

by Vicious203
3-29-05
I still can't believe you killed him
Yeah well, you know how it is...
N...No I'm afraid I don't...
Well, when that bitch actually said the word "Guesstimate" he knew it was coming.
So...you cut off his head, in front of that kindergarten class on a field trip to the pet store, and raped the skull clean of all brain tissue over a word?
...Well it sounded gay.

 

by Vicious203
3-31-05
This really happened
Did you just say "suite"?
Yeah...that's what they're called.
...Your college is for fags.
Uhm...they've always been called that.
Ok, he didn't say market, but since hes from a fag college i bet he says that...and product...man hes gay!
Well...I still think your college is for fags!
Screw this, I'm going to the market.

 

by Vicious203
3-31-05
This is a Public Service Announcement from the Gurt corporation. "If it ain't Gurt, it ain't worth dirt!"
Hi. Im a slime from Dragon Warrior.
And I'm a Dark Elf from Morrowind. We're here to deliver a public service announcement.
We understand that RPG's seem to take ages to play, so please, don't play them.
Do you have any idea what our schedules look like? I know a guy who still plays my game...after 4 years!
Oh, thanks, thats good to know. I'm the fuckin blob of gelatin you come across. Everyone hates me!
Hey, you want to deal with all these frikkin nerds who walk around in REAL LIFE talking like they're from Shakespeareland!? THY ISNT A WORD!

 

by Vicious203
4-15-05
Example 1
So like, Stephen violates my body all the time, in front of people, at school and shit.
I will bury you
Example 2
OMG, dood ur a newb!!!!11oneone
Must i sodomize your parents with a milk crate in front of you on TV?
Example 3
Oh my my my, i seem to have misplaced my massive heap of money. Oh I'll just get my other wallet.
Yes, please show me where you live...

 

by Vicious203
4-16-05
Pronounced bon-swah, for those who aren't French savvy.
HAYLO THAR, MAH NAME IS BONSOIR!
OK, that's it, you guys can make your fuckin' comic alone!
AH AM PUHLEEZED TO MAKE YO AKWAINTUNCE!
Dude, if you don't shut up, I'll shove my foot so far up your ass it'll be as big as your mouth.
DAMN IT, "SWANSON THE TOOT", IMA GAWNA GO KILL MAHSELF!
The only reason I'm cool is because I can stand like this all day!...MY KNEES ARE LEAKING!

 

by Vicious203
4-16-05
Alright, so I kill people for a living but what the hell do you do?
I'm an intern at Elektra.
Whoa! Fuckin A! That must rule!
Uh...yeah, it does in fact rule!...heh
Earlier
Johnny, it's time for you're daily cleansing!
No! My anus still hurts from yesterday!

 

by Vicious203
4-28-05
It's "Stupid As Hell Day" in School
MAH NAME ISS BONSOIR, AND I AM HURR TO TEACH A LESSON
RANMA CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF
...ANY QUERIES!? SHIGA SHIGA JEW BOP

 

by Vicious203
4-29-05
...Oh faith and begora, no no!
Hello thurr sirr, id like-a yoo to *hic* take me to my hoose!*hic*
Hmm...perhaps this evening CAN get better
Hey, you lukk furmiliar...do i know you?
Ha! I hope to God Lohan is reading this!
If by 'know' you mean "Lohans going to be begging for mercy in more ways than one", then yes, you do know me.
Hey missster, that better be a duragatory reference because i am one filthy whore and my name is Lindsay Lohan!

 

by Vicious203
5-01-05
Ever notice how we never had any characters of ethnic descent?
...Why the fuck are you talking like some FCC backwater yokel?
Look, my point is, we need someone of another race
Well, we wanted that cool Lando from Clerks, but we're stuck with some actor who doesn't mind the racial balancing in comics
Just going the way of The Boondocks, sans the odd political-ness of a teenage black kid with an afro...
So...have any family?
My moms name is Shaquanda, my sisters are Laquafonteesha and Bongqueefa, and my dad is Tim.

 

by Vicious203
6-09-05
I got a job!
So what do I do for the company?
YOUR JOB IS TO WIPE MAH BEEEEHIND WHILST EATIN CORN!
...
...
STEVENS IS ON THE PHONE! MUST CALL THE STEVENS!
Okay so maybe I didn't get a job
That symbol on the watercooler looks like a Nike thing
THIS YOUNG FELLOW WILL DO FINE HURR! I SMELL CHERRIES! HORTENCE!

 

by Vicious203
6-09-05
...Where the Hell am I?
Mmmmmmmooooooo!
I had to find a way to use Jon's character with that sign
John! Oh thank God I found you!
Hey dickweed, read the sign!
..heh ducky
Yo nigg, ya'll gots that black tar? I'm needin of a fix dawg!

 

by Vicious203
6-10-05
Hello Mister Bonsoir, I'm with the Gurt agency and we'd like to ask you a few questions.
YA'LL ARE NEVA GAWNA GIT MAH PENNIES! THEY IS FOR GRAMMY AND GRAMPY!
Uhm..we're just wondering if you prefer Gurt Generic Product over whatever the hell else is sold on the market..
NAY I SAY! MY IGLOO IS MADE OF SALT BATTER!
No, I haven't done LSD at any point in my life. Get off my lawn!
...Where the hell did my van go?
YOU HAD NO VAN! YOU ARE IN LAND OF ONOMATOPOEIA! SAINT BURGESS OF YESTERYEAR!

 

by Vicious203
6-10-05
My good pal Mr. Jack
Alright Mr. Jack listen up: If you plan on joining our ranks you must prove yourself worthy.
I'll do anything Master Vicious!
Anything?
Uhm...y-yeah anything...this isn't going to be sexual and/or painful is it?
Man do i hate him
Oh no no, of course not. But you will be sodomized by a bull on steroids.
Hooray! My favorite passtime in good old Chile!

 

by Vicious203
6-12-05
WELL FANCY SEEING YOU HERE, BONSOIR!
WHY IF IT ISN'T MY BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD! HOW ARE YOU DOING, MISTER. I-FORGOT-YOUR-REAL-NAME!?
I'M GOOD! DANDY! BUT I AM ALSO THE INVESTIGATOR ON THIS CRIME! DO YOU KNOW WHO KILLED THE STEVENS!?
WHY NAY! THE STEVENS WERE MY MORTAL ENEMIES, AND I STABBED THEM TO DEATH, BUT I DIDN'T KILL THEM!
WELL THAT CHURNS MY BUTTER! WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY ME A CLAM SURPRISE!?
DAMMIT I-FORGOT-YOUR-REAL-NAME! FINE! BUT YOU'RE PAYING FOR MY NEXT ABORTION!

 

by Vicious203
6-12-05
One unsunny afternoon of noonyness...
Man lookit this crap they show on TV nowadays. It's like Ghandi came back to life and got rid of all the violence. What a pussy!
Yeah it's been bothering me too, so I bought a new videogame.
Now for the subtlety...
Dude, this game sucks big ol' hairy donkey balls!
What, are you crazy? Just wait til you get to the part with the 30 minute long cutscene you MUST WATCH, COMPLETELY HELPLESS!
Tune in next time for seven litres of cola being poured down Mr. Jack's pants!
Jesus christ Vicious! Were you going to KILL ME because of the lack of TV!?
What? Oh, uhm, no..You're crazy! I haven't been planning this for 3 months..wait, 4..aww crap

 

by Vicious203
6-12-05
Greeting: Salutations meatbag! Er, uh, I mean Master. Is there anyone you would like me to kill today, Revan?
Uhm..yeah sure, I'm Revan..so uh..go kill that hoe Lindsay Lohan.
Negative response: I am terribly sorry, master, but that meatbag is already dead...dead on the inside.
Well..can you at least make her outside match her innards? I mean, inside? You know those teens and their fashion conciousness..
Reply: Very well master, if you say so. Now, where did I leave my Stick O' Bashing?
Statement: I believe you left it on the...oh crap, you got me talking like you! Damn boltsack...ARRG!

 

by Vicious203
6-12-05
Jesus Tittyfucking Christ, they've been in there for nineteen hours!
SWEET LORD GOD WHY! WHY MUST IT HURT MY INTESTINES SO!?!?!?
Hey, is that damn HK still in there sodomizing Mr. Jack with a Coca Cola bottle?
Yeah, and apparently it goes DOWN smooth but not UP.
*background* HOLY MOTHER OF PANTOMIME! DID I HEAR A PLOPPING SOUND!?
...Okay that was good, but goddamn, just fucked up.
Well it made me feel good on the inside

 

by Vicious203
6-12-05
It has recently come to our attention that Lindsay Lohan is now filing a lawsuit on our comic strip for libel, or slander, or whatever the hell it is online.
Yes, and it is our duty to apologize to her formally and professionally.
Miss Lohan, we apologize for all the wrongdoings we may have done to you by verbally assaulting you via an online forum of comic strips.
We would really like you to see it our way, but I suppose we must get rid of all the comics making fun of your good name.
..AHAHAHAHA, okay okay, sorry dude, i kept the straight face until you said "good name"
Yeah I know, I'm smiling behind this hockey mask. Yeah we're just fuckin with you kids, we ain't going no where, and Lohan can suck my scythe!

 

by Vicious203
6-12-05
Mr. Jack was singing one day...
Durka durr, im so cool, durka durr, got sodomized by a robot
ALOHA SENOR BUFANT!
Faith and Begora! What the crap are you supposed to be!?
MAH NAME IS BONSOIR AND I AM A SOMEWHAT CONSECUTIVE CHARACTER!
I...I must draw you!
GIRL PLEASE, I KNOW I'M DEAD SEXY, YOU DON'T GOTTA TELL THIS ALIEN TWICE! SHIGA SHIGA DOO WOP!

 

by Vicious203
6-12-05
Viiiiicious!
Oh my God! Are you the Lord!?
Yeeeees, and I always talk drawn out like a ghooooost!
...wait..you're not God..you're an electrical fire...am I hallucinating again?
Nooo...well yeah, but I wanted to ride the train for a while.
Well I think you lost me when you started talking like a ghost. God talks like a Ferret, we all know that.

 

by Vicious203
6-12-05
Away from our regular story...
I'm a fuckin cowboy!
What the flip!? Where did you come from? Get out of my classroom!
But I'm a fuckin cowboy! I don't do what you HUMANS tell me to!
C..Cowboy's are humans too you jerkweed.
Well...uhm....Cowboy away!
Goddamn it, I'm getting a drink!

 

by Vicious203
6-12-05
When we last left Vicious Comics...
Vicious! I need to talk to you! It's about Jon!
Dear god, Othello! He didn't get in the ol' mill again did he!?
Meanwhile:
Alright you damn monster, it's just me, and you. And one of us is gonna die!
Silly human! You are merely a result of fornication and an insurance plan that doesn't cover abortion! OHH BURRRN!
Tune in next week, or tomorrow, or whatever, i don't care!
I am one sexy whore. I think I'll go try and sell some kind of product subtly in one of my movies! Yeah, that'll work!
Bitch, you don't have any movies! And I'm still a fuckin cowboy!

 

by Vicious203
8-27-05
I'm a fuckin' Cowboy!
I am Swanson the Toot!
Nice to meet....FUCKIN' COWBOY
..Can you go like, a minute without saying "fuckin' cowboy"?
Tune in next time, dammit!
Well now that I've returned from that immoral hellhole called Brazil, I guess we can continue our comic...
I heard that as soon as you get in the airports there, some guy rubs your face with a towel loaded with AIDS.

 

by Vicious203
9-07-05
Who's house?
HAYLO THAR! I AM BONSOIR AND I AM HERE TO MAKE A SERIOUS STATEMENT!
MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD, THE STEVENS, HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED
Okay, enough of that guy "The Stevens". He hasn't been kidnapped. You don't even know the guy!
Run's House!
THEN WHAT WAS THIS NOTE DOING ON MY DOOR DESK!?
Let me read that..."Dear Bonsoir, this is The Stevens, I have been kdinapped. Signed The Vicio...I mean, The Stevens"...well that was quite a waste of an efficient panel.

 

by Vicious203
9-22-05
IF ONLY I COULD FIND MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD, BONSOIR!
BONSOIR!? WHY THAT BE ME! ARR MATEY, I AM NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND!
BUT...BUT YOU ARE THE GODFATHER OF MY CHILD!
I DONE THOUGHT THAT WAS A JOKE! THAT'S PRECISELY WHY I WENT UP TO YOUR BABY, SLAPPED HIM, AND SAID HIS PAW IS HILARIOUS!
...WELL NOW AIN'T THIS QUITE THE PREDICAMENT! DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!?
JUST ONE THING...SHIGA SHIGA DOO WOP!!!

 

by Vicious203
9-22-05
IF ONLY I COULD FIND MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD, BONSOIR!
BONSOIR!? WHY THAT BE ME! ARR MATEY, I AM NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND!
BUT...BUT YOU ARE THE GODFATHER OF MY CHILD!
I DONE THOUGHT THAT WAS A JOKE! THAT'S PRECISELY WHY I WENT UP TO YOUR BABY, SLAPPED HIM, AND SAID HIS PAW IS HILARIOUS!
...WELL NOW AIN'T THIS QUITE THE PREDICAMENT! DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!?
JUST ONE THING...SHIGA SHIGA DOO WOP!!!

 

Every time I watch TV, I get this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach...
Rumsfeld to Congress: Yes, yes I do think clowns are gay. Especially clowns who watch TV
by Vicious203, 9-22-05

 

I can't believe it's not butter!
God you're stupid. It's OBVIOUSLY margarine. I mean look at it, it has a big label that says "Margarine" on it!
by Vicious203, 9-26-05

 

by Vicious203
10-02-05
Well, fans of Vicious Comics, you're in luck! In a matter of weeks, it will be Halloween! So, all this month will be Vicious Comics Horrorfest!
Oh Vicious! I am Lindsay Lohan and I am scared!
Wait...I thought you were Zero's girlfriend. What the hell are you doing here?
Well since this is Horrorfest, I assumed that since I'm a thespian, I should be in your little Horror Movie Thing.
...Okay, that's it, I'm gonna go all Vincent Price on your ass!
And I shall squeel! Aieeeee!

 

by Vicious203
10-02-05
Dear God, already!? This Horrorfest bullcrap started like ten minutes ago, and the black man is getting killed ALREADY!?
SILENCE YOU HUMVEE WITH A BAG OF TAMPONS!
Sweet merciful crap, you're loud. Just kill me and get it over with.
I SAID SILENCE OTHELLO! I DO NOT PLAN TO KILL YOU! I MERELY REQUIRE ENTERTAINMENT FOR MY SHINDIG!
Hey, now that's even more racist! You expect me to rap for your little party, don't you?
ACTUALLY I WAS PLANNING ON HANGING YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET, BUT I LIKE YOUR IDEA TOO!

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