All comics by Drexle

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by Drexle
6-01-01
Human Drama: Act 1
You shall be doomed to an existance of obscurity, regret, and lonlines...
This is about "her" isn't it?
You who would forsake and violate that which means most to you deserve naught but to suffer in his misery.
Yes... My only salvation is through my suffering... *sniffle*
What a happy ending!
For you... I suffer for you, my dear... I'm sorry...

 

by Drexle
6-01-01
Saaaayyyyy... Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
You have seen me in your dreams, for I am Cthulhu... Dread lord of nightmares... I am here to spread horror and insanity to the world! Feel my wrath, human!
No, that's not it... I remember now! You were in that hentai anime "Tentacles of Pleasure!" Man, that triple penetration deal was nuts!!!
Mortal, tempt not my fury!!!
I can't believe it's really you! You're a personal hero of mine! Why if I could do what you do to those bitches... blahblahblahblah
Ummm....?

 

by Drexle
6-01-01
Human Drama: Act II
Zoe, we've known each other for a while now, and there's something I have to tell you.
Yes, Neal?
Zoe, I just can't keep this inside any longer.. I---
Neal, What's that noise? OH MY GOD, DUCK AND COVER!!!

 

by Drexle
6-02-01
My name is Gregor Samsa. I've metamorhposed into a bug. Mmmyep.
I am you Father! I throw apples at you! You're worthless and I hate you!
Sister, please stay here with me! I love you and appreciate you, not like those roomers. And look, my room has become a trashpile for all their old junk!
Yeah, they're right bastards! They're even refusing to pay for room all because of you! We must get rid of you! You're not my Brother!
Well, he starved himself to death, and Dad kicked out the roomers. Mom, Dad, and I rode away and then at the end of the ride I stretched my beautiful body!
(Author's Note -- Dear god this comic sucked ass.... *Drexle*)

 

by Drexle
6-02-01
Tale of Human Drama: Act III
The mirror on the wall reflects an image of ungodly beauty... But what about the mirror of the soul?
The Soul? Hah, I'll show you what's in your soul...
POOF!
God... No! How did I ever come to this?
Introspection is a bitch, dear, much like yourself. But that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
An End...
This is it... It's time to put my former life to an end... With these words, I bid it a final goodbye!
Or so you think... You'll never be able to live without me... I'm a part of you forever.

 

by Drexle
6-02-01
I am the beast what resides in your soul... I demand a sacrifice!
A sacrifice?! Whatever could it be? Dear god, not the pancakes!!!
Oh, I demand far more than your wretched pancakes. What I take from you is more valuable than life itself... You will hand it over to me now!
No... you can't be serious... Not that!!! No!!! I beg you, take anything else, just not *THAT!*
Anything else? So you really *are* going to give me the pancakes? Wow, cool!
Ummm.... What was the point of this strip again? I'm sure I had one...

 

by Drexle
6-07-01
Caffine
Dopamine
Television

 

by Drexle
6-16-01
Saaay... Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
I am Lord Cthulhu... Purveyor of nightmares and dread. You shall know bitter insanity mortal, before your horrific demise!
No, that's not it... Wait, I remember! I saw you in that naughty cartoon, "Tentacles of Pleasure!!!" Oh my god, I can't believe it's you!
Dear God, not again.... I'm now going to ravage Japan utterly...
Mmmm... You know, from what I've seen you're quite the Sex God. Wanna show me just how much woman you can handle at once?
Hmmm... Maybe the ravaging of Japan can wait a week or two...

 

by Drexle
6-16-01
Cthulhu arrives in Japan
It's the dreaded Sex Beast from "Tentacles of Pleasure!!!" Turn back, or face the wrath of Japan's No. 1 Defender of Justice, Miko Kazuhara!
.... A Schoolgirl?
If you don't leave now, this flurry of special attacks will send you back to Hell! Kidney Punch, Leg Sweep, and the Golden High Kick!!!
Mortal, you tempt fate.
Is he looking up my skirt? Am I turning him on? God, I hope he's as good in person as he is in the movies!!!
She's been holding that pose for 5 minutes... what the hell is her problem?

 

by Drexle
6-16-01
Later, at an Anime Studio...
Hey, you look familiar... It's Sex Fiend! Wow, I never knew you were real! Here all this time, I thought you were just a product of our overactive yet undernourished sex drives!
Yeah, well listen I'm not this "Sex Fiend" you're talking about. I'm Cthulhu. I give people spooky nightmares and drive them to insanity and suicide---
You know, has anyone ever talked to you about getting into the live action porn industry? Talent like yours would rake in the big Yen!!!
---But now people think I'm this "Sex Fiend" because of you. My reputation is RUINED! .. Wait... Did you just say live action porn?
Think about the possibilities... Isn't it every Sex Fiend's dream to have all the Asian wenches he can put his tentacles on?
.... I hate making these kind of decisions....

 

by Drexle
6-18-01
...And the poor fool's still waiting for his "Erotic Torture!"
You know, as I discover more and more about you, I can't quite decide if I like you more or less.

 

by Drexle
6-18-01
In the seedy porn underworld...
Are you the man they call Hentai Hanzo?
That would be me! I take it you're the Sex Fiend that my associates were all excited about? Man! You look like you'd be incredible!
Look, I'm not really the Sex Fiend, but I'll play one in your movie if I get to have these "Asian Wenches" of which the Anime director spoke.
Suuuure. But first... ummm... Would you mind giving me a personal sample of what you're capable of? Heh heh... (drool)
..... Why certainly.
AAAGGGHHHH!!!

 

by Drexle
6-18-01
There's something you don't know about me yet. By day, I'm just a normal every day girl, but by night I'm...
A tragic Gawthic chick! I'm an undead minion of darkness, and you ignroant fucks can fuck the fucking hell off! You don't know me, but you judge me anyway!
!
Sigh... I am *so* alone.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!

 

by Drexle
6-19-01
... What the hell -is- that?
Screaaaarrrrrr!!!!
!!!
THWACK!
Dear god, that squirel has my balls!!!
Must have more nuts!!! Must have more nuts!!!

 

by Drexle
6-19-01
...And in that moment, I realized that necrophilia is more than just a hobby. It's a lifestyle.

 

by Drexle
6-19-01
Hey Skeletina, Did you see Britanny Spears' latest video? God, that girl makes me sick. Those "Beautiful People" only care about looking pretty and acting like whores!
Actually Phantomina, I like her music. And really, we Goths can be just as superficial.
....
....
....
What?

 

by Drexle
6-19-01
Wow, look at Voltron go! He slays the robeasts and saves the day on Planet Aris!
Form Blazing Sword!!!
Wow, look at those Transformers! They're so cool! They can turn into all sorts of neat things, and can lord their might over the planet!!!
Autobots, transform and roll out!!!
Wow, this feeling of insecurity must be like what all those women complain about when *they* watch TV...
M.A.S.K! It's the mighty power that will save the daaaaay!

 

by Drexle
6-20-01
Yep... I sure do love summer. The heat... the blisters... the sun poison...
The mosquitoes... The Wasps... The wretched outdoorsy crap...
Ranma X... You're SO dead for reminding me of Summer. Assuming I can work around the impending case of heat stroke... *groan...*

 

by Drexle
6-24-01
Thanks for picking up the booze, Monica!
It's no problem, Laura! I just hope you know what you could be getting yourself into. The media is ruthless, you know.
I like to sleep until the crack of noon, midnight howlin' at the moon, goin' out when I wanto, comin' home when I please. No manipulative cocksucking gold digger is going to change my mind.
I'm just saying you should be careful if you don't want to end up like me. Hey, did you know that your dad's been into fisting for the last few months?
God... I did not need to know that...
Yes, you did Laura! When god speaks, you listen bitch! And I'm speaking to you right now! Take heed of the White House Whore, or you'll suffer eternally in Hell!

 

by Drexle
6-25-01
Hey, Drexle! We just got the ratings back on your comics. You're not gonna believe this...
Cool! So what's the word thusfar?
Not surprisingly, Starstruck is way ahead of the rest. That dumbass Cliffnotes thing is doing surprisingly well too...
What? But the Cliffnotes strip was like the worst of the bunch?! Lemme guess, Tales of Human Drama didn't go over well, did it?
Only acts 2 and 3. People seem to really dig the cheap laughs, and are so-so on the sexual humor. Just no more introspection and you'll be fine.
Figures... Just tell me when someone finally votes on the first Shocking Confession... Hmph... At least they appreciated the fruits of sleep deprivation...

 

by Drexle
6-27-01
Hey there, you look new around here. Wha....
I DO NOT SUCK DICK!
Ummmm... What? Why are you so worked up? Nobody said anything about you sucking dicks... That's Wirthling's job.
HELP ME SPREAD THE JOY OF ALL CAPS! I AM CRABBY! I DO NOT SUCK DICK!!!
Lemme guess... your insistance on big letters and fixation on penises means that yours would be about... thiiiiiis tiny?
I WOULD MAKE FUN OF YOU, BUT I DON'T WANT TO GIVE CAPS USERS A BAD NAME! AND I DO NOT SUCK DICK!!!!!

 

by Drexle
6-29-01
I WOULD LIKE TO REQUEST THAT YOU NO LONGER USE BONGO TO REPRESENT ME. I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO REQUEST THAT YOU STOP MAKING JOKES ABOUT ME ENJOYING SUCKING ON A NICE HARD COCK!!!
!!!
TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE CRAPPY BONGO!!! ONLY TOBOR SHOUTS IN ALL CAPS!!!!!!
O-O-O-O-O-KAY... BUT ONLY AS LONG AS YOU REQUEST NICELY... AND I DO NOT SUCK DICK, SO DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT ASKING FOR THAT!!!
TOBOR WILL FIST YOU UP TO TOBOR'S WRISTWATCH!!!

 

by Drexle
6-30-01
Good evening good people of the planet earth. We would like to send you this massage in the spirit of charitibility and Goodwill Tires. *Beep*
We would like to assure you that we are not invaders, and do not care for any of your base. We doo wish to have access to your feeemales for this delightful time-kill you humans call "42." *Beep*
We are certain that their natural ability to produce massive quantities of lubrication will service our rotator cuffs and ball bearings rather nicely! *Beep* *Beep*
Ummm... Mr. Alien Robot, I think the number you meant was... oh, never mind....

 

by Drexle
7-11-01
WHAT'S WRONG DRPEDANTIC? AND WHY DO YOU LOOK SO... FUZZY? YOU'RE ACTUALLY HALFWAY ADOREABLE.
I CANNOT COMPREHEND WHAT HAS TRANSPIRED HERE... THAT SCARAMOUSCH, GABE, ACTUALLY LET CRABBY HAVE A VICTORY. AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO SUSPECTS CARNAL KNOWLEDGE WAS USED AS BRIBERY?
WELL, IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER, I'LL LET YOU IN ON A LITTLE BIT OF INFORMATION.
YOU SPEAK AS IF THERE WERE ANYTHING YOU COULD SAY THAT WOULD ASSUAGE MY FEELINGS OF UTTER DEGRADATION...
WELL FOR ONE THING, GABE IS GOING TO LEARN THE HARD WAY IN A FEW DAYS EXACTLY WHY "CRABBY" GOT THAT NAME...
NOW IF ONLY THAT WERE MORE THAN A MERE HOLLOW COMFORT FOR ME... THAT AT LEAST EXPLAINS WHY GABE CALLED CRABBY'S VICTORY A "MERCY FUCK..."

 

by Drexle
7-11-01
You know, it's said that if people are talking about you behind your back, your nipples will start to itch.
Really? What about if your crotch starts itching?
It means you've been sleeping with Crabby.
Shit! Well how do I fix it?
You take the crab shampoo and "WASH AT WASH AND WASH MILLENIUM WASH!!!!!!"
...Which would explain why he kept screaming that at his climax...

 

by Drexle
7-12-01
Hey Spankling, what's up?
Oh, hi Drexle... I've got some rather disturbing news. Come with me back to the lab...
Disturbing? What could possibly disturb me? Aside from thoughts of a Crabby / Wirthling / TOBOR menage a trois?
We've done some scientific Lowpass tests, and have concluded that you, like most others here are immaginary figments invented by one of the three "real" people who post here.
*Gasp!* Who? Who is it, I say? Please God, don't let it be Gabe... or crabby...
Well, according to the tests, we theorize that you were created by LadyJ... Don't worry, I was created by DrPedantic... and that Crabby is my brother. You could have it worse.

 

by Drexle
7-12-01
So, I was created by LadyJ, huh? You're right, I *could* have it worse. So tell me... how were these tests conducted?
Well first, we looked at the interpersonal dynamics between everyone here... then we compared them to each other on a highly advanced supercomputer...
Yeah, but that doesn't answer my question... *Why* did it conclude that I was created by LadyJ? Not that I'm complaining, or anything...
Oh... well... ummm.... heh....
Let me guess... You were drunk when you entered the data, and wrote the program?
I hope like hell that's the case... At least I'm not related to Gabe or wirthling... but crabby? *Shivers*

 

by Drexle
7-12-01
Oh my God, what the hell happened here?!
.....uuuughhhh...
*Shudder....*
Some psycho started yelling about being a man trapped in a woman's body trapped in a man's body, and ripped a new hole in his own crotch!!!
This Frame For Rent! Contact Management today!

 

by Drexle
7-12-01
HEY MAURA, YOU DON'T LOOK SO WELL TODAY! DIDN'T YOU WASH AT MILLENIUM WASH?
Actually, crabby... I -don't- feel so good right now... I have cramps from hell, and my head just doesn't stop hurting...
OH! IT MUST BE THAT TIME OF THE MONTH, ISN'T IT?
Could you please not shout so loud?
Sorry... well, you know what they say: "THE WAY WITH THE RAG IS A LAY IN THE BAG!!!" HEY! Where are you going!?

 

by Drexle
7-13-01
Schitzophrenia: An enduring psychosis that involves failure to maintain integrated personality functioning, impaired reality testing, and disturbances in thinking.
WASH AT WASH AND WASH MILLENIUM WASH!!!
Common features of this illness include delusions, hallucinations, and flattened or inappropriate behavior.
Dr. Light is alright in my book!!!! AND I DO NOT SUCK DICK!!!
Other features may include "clanging" speech, that consists of meaningless rhymes.
THE WAY WITH THE RAG IS A LAY IN THE BAG!!!

 

by Drexle
7-13-01
What a beautiful day... the birds singing, the clouds rolling overhead. Oh look, a car! I think I'll run out into the road like a dumb animal and get squished!
SQUISH!
Wooo boy, looky that. Fresh roadkill! Now, I know what you're thinkin'... "Free food!" ... But I've got a *better* idea!

 

by Drexle
7-13-01
Well looky here... a pink donkey!
Now, I know what you're thinkin'... "Free Sex!" ... But I've got a better idea!
God no... not that!

 

by Drexle
7-13-01
and that's when i realized that donkey sodomy isn't just a hobby. it's a lifestyle!

 

by Drexle
7-17-01
What's up, Flub?
Oh Holly, I just had the urge to try something exciting... Xtreme Watersports!
Woah, seriously? You're into that? So am I!
Yeah, I mean I got the urge to try it out when I saw that Xtreme Oyster Harvesting ad on TV... I thought maybe I could start off with some high speed dolphin wresltling on a surf board, or maybe...
Lemme show you what xtreme Watersports is all about... open wide!!! *tinkle tinkle*
*Glub Glub Glub!!!* What the *glub* are you doing?! *Glub!*

 

by Drexle
7-17-01
Hey Flub! What's up?
Oh man, Holly, I just got the urge to try something exciting! Xtreme Watersports! I got the urge from watching that Xtreme Oyster Harvesting special on TV!
Woah, you're into that sort of thing? So am I!
Yeah, I've got my official Xtreme snorkel, and my Xtreme Goggles, and my Xtreme little arm-wrapping-floaty-fins!
Silly, you're not going to need any of that stuff... let me show you some REAL Xtreme Watersports... Open wide!!! *Tinkle Tinkle*
AAAaghhh!! *Glub* *Glub* what the *glub* are you *glubbb!!*

 

by Drexle
7-18-01
Hey there, dear reader. I'm Chynah... and this is my new best friend, Rushiah.
It's nice to see you, Chynah... and you too, dear reader. Best Friends forever!
You see, reader, because of your poor judgement during those carefree election day follies...
...Your wonderful and charismatic president has managed to remind us once again just *why* we always hated you before those days of "International Friendship."
We are sure that your other "friends" in Japan and Europe will soon come to agree with us when we say...
"Fuck You, USA! Let the bombs fly!"

 

by Drexle
7-19-01
God, idiot Dubbya is sure making a mess of things... how the hell did he get elected?
Woah! I'm getting $300 back from the government?! Cool! Maybe his election *wasn't* a bad idea!
Not much later....
A lot of fucking good $300 is doing me now...

 

by Drexle
7-19-01
Woah... it's PJ Harvey! That baby's got back!
What's wrong with you? Have you been getting wasted again?
Woah... she's all amorphis and stuff... God... check out her breasts!
What in the hell are you doing?! Awww put that thing away!!!
Awww yeah.... sex-changing action!!! Time to give the little lizard the old "left hand solution!"

 

by Drexle
7-20-01
o/` Once again, this odious sunlight falls upon my face... o/`
My god, what's wrong with you, Drexle?! What the hell are you listening to?
o/` Empathy for the helpless ones, I can't save them all from the darkness that encircles us... o/`
Are you alright?! Speak to me!!!
If you think I'm depressed now, you don't want to see what happens when I turn on the radio.

 

by Drexle
7-23-01
Dr. Pedantic! TOBOR is out of control!!! He's gone on a rampant sodomy spree, and nobody can understand what he's saying!!!
Thank you ever so much for your astute obeservations regarding the readily appearant, Captain Obvioius...
Oscar... I I've devised a plan... Everyone loves the food product called "Beef Jerky..." I need you to slip this special "Saltpeter Jerky" to TOBOR. I assure you that you'll be in no danger.
Wow, Dr. Pedantic! That's a great idea! And I'm sure I'd be the perfect bait, because it's been a while since TOBOR molested me! You can count on me, Dr.!
Hi there TOBOR! In the spirit of good will, I'd like to give you this Beef Jerky! Everyone loves beef jerkey!
R--------RRR!!! BZZZZT!!! T-B-R D--S N-T C-MP-T-!!! M-ST H-V- M-NR-P-!!! - L-V- J-RK_Y!!! J-RK-YR-AP-!!!

 

by Drexle
7-29-01
Sparky speaks privately to the camera on Algebra Island...
When I came here, I expected it to be a cakewalk. My math processors are superb! I mean, when I signed up for this show, all I was thinking about was the fame and the gyno-bots...
Raaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrr!!!!
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkk!!!!NotAgainNotAgainNotAgain!!!OhMyGod!!!MustGetToTheFort!!!MustEscapeTheWrathOfTheCornhole!!!HeNeverPassesTheTestsButWhenWeVoteHimOffHeCornholesUs!!!
TOBOR speaks to the camera
TOBOR going haywire!!! TOBOR stuck on island with no manrape!!! Too much Calculus makeTOBOR angry!!! Wait... TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE CAMERAMAN!!! RAAARRRR!!!

 

by Drexle
7-29-01
Raaaarrrrr! Drexle rip skagg a new asshole!!!
RAAAARRRRR!!! DOUBLE THE PLEASURE, DOUBLE THE FUN FOR TOBOR!!!

 

by Drexle
7-31-01
Knock Knock!!!
Hey man, open up! I'm here already! It's embarassin' to be out here with this shit! My mom could drive by any second!!!
Hey there, Jake... Sorry it took so long to get to the door, but I was having trouble finding the key to mom and dad's secret basement. I've got it right here, though...
Fuckin' rock! I got some of the stuff my dad hides in his closet, and I think we're all set!
So, like... that movie showed me shoving this thing *where?!*
This what people do when they're all adult and stuff! Now just stick it on in there, baby, but first... Whip me 'til I "come!" I don't know where I'm "going," but I'm gonna find out!

 

by Drexle
8-02-01
Okay, look... The deal was that you give me the info, and I give you a ticket outta town before the cops roll in. So what's the scoop?
You're sure we've got a dole, man? I mean, I don't wanna get nailed over... find myself on the short end of the shrimp, you know?
You've got my word as a private dick. I have the ticket right here in my pocket... so spill it.
Here's what I know about the hoist... The crock pots took the Gods to the warehouse on 65th street. They're stitched in a crater in the back.
But wait... THIS is the warehouse on 65th street! You mean to tell me the goods are stashed here?
No, the "Gods" are "stitched" in the warehouse on 65th street. Weren't you lascerating? Now where's my ticker outta this point?

 

by Drexle
8-02-01
Hello, oh my brothers. I hope your evening is nice and horrorshow. Shall we go out for some ultraviolence, and some of the ol' twenty to one?
Ack! Me droogies have betrayed me! I just tapped that woman on the head a bit! I didn't mean to kill her!
I've been rottin' away in prison... I've taken a liking to the bible, and I viddi in my gulliver being there, givin' Jesus a beating.
They tried to make me a good little boy by showing making me sick at the sight of the red red krovy, and at the sweet sounds of Ludwig Van. It's inhuman!!!
Me M&P have given up on me, me old droogs have joined the millicents, and your 'umble narrator is just about to snuff it at the hands of an old victim.
Layin' in the stretcher, I talked to the nice people and then all of a sudden, I had me old nice and horrorshow thoughts back! I was cured allright...

 

by Drexle
8-03-01
Seeing the Hamlet-esque carnage wrought by his "secret recipe," Gary Larson watched his dreams of becoming a chef go sour.

 

by Drexle
8-05-01
How do you fit forty dead babies in a trunk?
A blender!
Now I wonder how you get them out again?
Nachos.

 

by Drexle
8-05-01
We here at www.stripcreator.com would like to appologize for Drexle's last comic...
At www.stripcreator.com, we do not in any way condone infanticide or cannibalism of said infants.
However, if that sort of thing tickles your funny bone, or you're looking for a recipe, then then check out our sister website at... Dear god, put the gun down!!!

 

by Drexle
8-05-01
My god, Mr. Oblivious, did you hear what just happened? Drexle pulled another shutout victory in the comic cup!
But I could swear that I left my BLT with him... don't tell me he ate it!!!
I mean, there's just something wrong with this picure... He's not even all that good a stripper!
Ding-dong, the witch is dead!!!
You know, I get the feeling that you just don't listen sometimes...
What? I wasn't listening.

 

by Drexle
8-05-01
You know, I've been pondering something... who got to decide what rape flavor tastes like? I mean really... it doesn't taste like rape at all.
Rape flavor eh? *Drooooool....*
Crap! I meant *GRAPE* flavored... Damn those Freudian slips!!!
Hey, get back here, you freakin' tease!!!

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