All comics by Makin_d_bacon

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-12-16
Hello! Allow me to introduce myself. I'm a man of wealth and of taste...
Doo, Doo...Doo, Doo...
I've been around for a long, log year and stole many a man's soul to waste...
Doo, Doo...Doo, Doo...
They call me..."Makin_d_bacon". And who are YOU?
Your worst nightmare...porkchop!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-12-16
I understand there's a new kid on the block, eh?
Yeah. Calls himself "shakin the bacon" or something.
Dear Lord...please help me to make funny comics AND stop butchering my name! It's "Makin_d_bacon"!
You gunna stand for THAT?
It's ON...you piggy, pork-chop, oinker, boring boar of a SPAM wanna be....

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-13-16
Not exactly a master of disguise, am I Chen?
You really wanna know what Chen think?
Yes, but be kind!
OK then, here goes....
Shortly thereafter...
...and then I told him as kindly as I could!
Obviously, not kindly ENOUGH!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-13-16
So YOU are the all great & powerful Brad, eh?
Maybe...why?
My query goes thusly...MUST one donate to WIN comic contests?
Maybe...why?
A non-denial denial if ever I heard one, eh?
I hate fricken Canadian mockers!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-13-16
How dare you grab my breasts like that?
But I...
Who exactly do you think you are, anyway?
Me? Why I'm the Knight of Cups.
Oh? You ARE?
Yup! I specialize in Double D's & up!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-14-16
This little piggy went to market....
This little piggy stayed home....
This little piggy had roast beef...

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-14-16
...and this little piggy had none!
But THIS little piggy...this little piggy right here....THIS little piggy...
...ran oui, oui, oui all the way to the "Folies Bergere" in France!
Ooh la la, Bee-atches!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-14-16
NBC Covers the 2016 Rio Olympics
Thank you for tuning in to the 2016 Olympic Games here in Rio!
We truly appreciate you for having watched so faithfully...
Yes...
...all 3 of you!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-15-16
But baby....
Don't "but baby" ME! We're through...got it?
No way, dumplin! Ya know they say that the best part of breaking up is the makin up!
Not when you're doing the "makin" with a lard assed slab of bacon!
*sigh* :(
Alright, ALRIGHT...but if you swap the K-Y Jelly for "Sweet Baby Ray's" again I'm outta here!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-16-16
I don't see the resemblance at all!
Resemblance to whom?
Some guy named "Injokester" seems to think you look like Jesus!
He does? COOL!
The idea goes quickly to Dexx's head!
All the REALLY big shots have one. So should YOU!
Really? A "Body Double", huh?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-16-16
No you can't sleep in the guest room. Now get in the pig pen!
How utterly gosh of you my man! You've the manners of a Cretin!
I said "Get", damnit!
Emily Post would have had you ostracized for this kind of behavior, my dear Sir!
Yak, Yak, Yak! What a boar!
A clever play on words won't redeem you, my good chap!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-16-16
Well....I finally enetered a comic contest.
I understand one must be "thick skinned" upon entering these things.
So, it's a good thing then, that I have "Contesticals" of STEEL!
I think he means "BALLS"!

 

What? You AREN'T Vincent Price & this house ISN'T haunted? But you're a...a... skeleton, right?!
Nope. Just Ethiopian!
by Makin_d_bacon, 8-17-16

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-17-16
At the movies....
I'll bet you want one for "Babe", right?
Hey, young lady, THAT'S "profiling" & against the law. Give me one for "Support Your Local Sheriff".
Oh?
Like that's NOT "profiling"?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-17-16
YOU?
May I help you, sir?
NEVER! Can't you see I'm a JEW?
Yes I can....
...and I'd have waited on you, regardless!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-17-16
You kids have any idea who gutted the Principal?
Him!
Him!
Him!
Shit!
Him!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-18-16
You certainly won't find him HERE!
No?
Now get lost! I'm busy!
Hmmm...
If not HERE, then where might an undertaker hang out?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-18-16
Mr. Teknerdy, if you dropped something where would gravity make it go?
Below me, young lady!
Oh! Mr. Teknerdy, I'm gonna tell!
Tell whoever you like but THAT'S what's gonna happen!
Only hours later...
So, did you REALLY ask her to blow ya or not?
Did I WHAT?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-19-16
Man, it sure is scary in here!
*burp*
Who the hell is THAT?
Some folks call me "The Undertaker"!
Oh shit!
That disguise ain't foolin ME, you shiken chit!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-20-16
Birmingham, England era 1920's
You Alfie Solomons?
That I am, mate! Who's askin?
The name is Arthur Shelby of the "Peaky Blinders".
Them blokes what got razor blades sewed in their cap brims? No fuckin way, sweetie!
Tommy! This ere Jew's gunna be trouble!
Listen Arfur...you're lucky it's the Sabbath. I try to refrain from mayhem on the Sabbath. Generally!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-20-16
Like yer new digs?
What in the HELL happened to YOU?
Why ask? You don't REALLY care!
First thing you've gotten right in ages, butt wipe!
Now where did I put that good old RELIABLE "Commodore 64"?
Now hold on a minute. Don't be hasty!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-20-16
Spotted at the 2016 Rio Olympics....
Yes I AM the GREAT Kim Jong Un. Why?
Because the U.S.A. has something to give you.
So give it & be on your way peon. My time is too valuable.
Alrighty then...
Next time, Chen, impersonate Jackie Chan...it's safer!
Now she tells me!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-21-16
So why did you wanna meet here, rag...?
Ah..ah...
Oops...sorry, Mr. Bacon! So...you wanna apologize for your stupidity, do you?
HA! It'll be a cold day in hell before I stoop to tha...
...then suddenly....
You were saying?
Hey... did your nipples just get hard too?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-21-16
The year is 2077. The earth is a burned out waste-land where the only lifeforms left are cockroaches.
Yo!
S'up?
Actually...those are just "roaches" but, hey, I can fix THAT!
...so...
You wanna do WHAT?
I know, I know, but it ain't MY call! I'm just following orders.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-21-16
Playing Charades at the Bar.....
You missed it by one word, baby! You were SO close!
You mean it WAS a James Bond film?
Yup! You just made a simple mistake.
So the film was "Goldfinger" and not...
..."Stink-Finger"?
I gotta start seeing classier women!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-22-16
I'm lookin for that "ragu4u" guy? Apparantly, you know him. Have you seen him?
Nope...but he can't hide from ME. I'd recognize him ANYWHERE!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sure!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-22-16
Seen that new James Franco film?
You mean the one on NetFlix about the deleted 40 minutes of the Pacino film "Cruising"?
Yeah that's the one..."Interior: Leather Bar"! So you've seen it?
No way! It's about queers and queer behaviors, I'll bet.
Catches on quick, doesn't he?
I sure hope so!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-23-16
Lookin for someone?
Sorta...
So, you came to find God, did you?
Actually, I call him....
If you dare say "ragu4u" I'll smite you so hard they'll be smelling pulled pork from here to Timbuktu!
Well then, have a nice day!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-23-16
Not YOU again?
Yup, but this time I got a legitimate question!
OK...what?
Do ANY non-donor strippers on this site speak English?
Wie soll ich wissen, Arschloch?
Now you're just being mean!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-23-16
OK, it's CONTEST TIME again, baby!
Just shoot me, please...
There's only one catch. It's gotta be about "ragu4u" and why I......I mean, HE left!
You're kiddin, right? So how hard can THAT be?
Hey! That's what SHE said!
And so it begins...

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-23-16
Hey doc, what's the odds I can get my old look back?
What? No more Lithuanian hitmen to worry about?
There's THAT AND the fact I can't get chicks like this.
Oh you will when that movie you did comes out.
C'mon doc. It was just a 30 second voice over in "Deliverance 2".
Still...I'd wait a while. Women are alot kinkier these days!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-23-16
So...ya think they made the connection?
It's hard to say. They DO have an uncanny resemblance to each other!
I'm gonna drop a dime on him!
So...the Lithuanians made you an offer you couldn't refuse, eh?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-25-16
Hey pops, where exactly did you aim the Italian earthquake?
Just a little northeast of Rome!
Oh no! Here He goes. Now I'm sorry I asked!
Hey!!! That reminds me....*singing* "Where the river is winding, big hunks of debris they're finding, NORTH, to Armitice..."
He always gets this way right after he watches "North to Alaska".
..."They crossed the Volturno River, just a little North East of Rome...way up North...way up..North..."

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-25-16
Oh my lord, it smells like a pig sty in here! I'ts DISGUSTING! I...
?
... have to LEAVE..
Wow, what a yummy air freshener!

 

So, what? Ya don't get it?
by Makin_d_bacon, 8-25-16

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-26-16
As Makin_d_bacon goes for a new I.D.
I'm here at the Soc. Sec. office cause I want to change my I.D., OK?
NO!
What? Why not? I'm a citizen. I got rights ya know! This is discrimi...
I'm sorry but it's just not possible. So you'll have to leave...
...too bad he didn't read the signage!
Darned Govt. workers. I'll have her job, by golly!
...unless you'd like to order a 12 inch "BLT Combo" on sale today for $5?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-27-16
So...are YOU too gonna try and win a comic contest off of MY suffering?
Yikes! This HAS TO BE that ragu4u dude!
Well answer me, swine, before I wring your porky neck!
Geez, fella...next time go with the "Sanka"!
Oh God...it's true. I've become less than an after-thought!
Cheer up, sport! The world NEEDS its doormats, too.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-27-16
I'm here polling young people about the upcoming election.
Cool! I'm, like, down with that. Ya feelin me?
Um...yes, I guess. At any rate, would vote for Hillary and why or why not?
Oh yeah. I'd, like vote for her in a heartbeat, man.
So you think she's up to the task, do you?
Fore sure, dude! She was great as Lizzy McGuire and being President is waaay easier than THAT!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-27-16
Mirror, mirror on the wall...who is greatest stripper of all?
Shall I say RCLG or 4LTripod or Kain or EVEN ragu4u???
Tell me, tell me, tell me true. Which stripper really did it for you.
Sorry pal but, because of all his gut busting humor, I gotta go with "arbi" What??!
Really? I was thinking more along the lines of Gypsy Rose Lee
What a Fargin Ice-hole!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-28-16
On some seedy, backlot, film set.....
...aaaaaand... "ACTION"!
WAIT! I haven't memorized my lines yet!
Lines? What lines? This is porn, baby!
Hey...I'm a legitimate actress and ALL legitimate actresses have LINES!
Ok, ok! Just hop in the sack & moan "Oh yeah baby" in varying levels of enthusiasm while you service yourself!
Would you like that ala Kate Hepburnish or Meryl Streepish?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-28-16
"...just try these for a night or two and we GUARANTEE you'll wake up feeling yourself again".
Cool!
Yup! I saw it last night on a TV ad.
I 'm not so sure. I'm gonna ask our Science teacher.
But that's what the ad said!
That's just ridiculous! NO pills are going to MAKE YOU jerk-off in your sleep!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-29-16
Mr. Bacon, I believe we left off exploring the issues regarding your wayward daughter, yes?
Uh huh... but let's try another area for a bit.
Fine. Shall we go with your cancer, failed marriage, homophobia, kleptomania, male pattern baldness, jock itch, OCD or...?
STOP...
...let's just go with the daughter, n"k?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-30-16
What the hell have you just done to me?
That Flat-top, white shirt, tie & dress slacks sure made you look different! Wanna go back to them?
No way. NOBODY will EVER recognize me NOW! I'm like a fly on the wall. I'm freakin INVISIBLE!
You ALWAYS were, fella. You always were!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-31-16
Hey Doofus! I think the secret is pretty well out.
You talkin bout my new look, right?
WHAT new look? You've ALWAYS been a pig if ya ask me!
But I didn't ask you!
Anywho...what I meant was the "Secret" is out. All ya got left is the "Arid XX Roll On".
Well THAT fact sure stinks!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-01-16
Damn, de damn, damn! Damn de damn, damn! Damn de damn, damn, DAMN!
Need I ask?
What do YOU think?
He can't stand losing comic contests!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-02-16
Padre can you preach on something new Sunday?
Like what, for example?
Maybe on the dangers of that "New Age" stuff and their odd sects.
Well...I can certainly try.
...but that Sunday at the Morgue....
So she died right after you announced the sermon topic she asked for, huh? What the heck was it anyway?
Oral sex!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-03-16
Tyrone, name the immense and destructive void at the center of every galaxy!
What the "F" you talkin bout?
I'm referring to a "Black Hole"!
Oh yeah! I knows all bout dat shit! My daddy done taught me dat.
..but when Tyrone got home....
NO boy...What I told you was that Beyonce was VERY popular but NOT the center of the galaxy.
But she be a black HO, right?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-03-16
We're we NUTS to try and pull off this transition?
Maybe.
SO maybe we should ask an expert.
An expert? An expert on WHAT? NUTS?
So off he went to the "NUT" expert....
Do I look crazy to you?
Crazy? No! But oddly enough, you DO smell of garlic, bay leaves and oregano!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-03-16
The "Buddy Film" genre....
This film is called "Lethal Weapon" about two cops.
So who am I paired with? Sly? Dolph? Statham?
Uh no...here he comes now!
Not HIM?!?
You may call me Danny!
Listen, Bojangles, you can call ME, MISTER Gibson!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-03-16
What's zis about "folurs"?
Moi has tres "folurs", n'est pas?
So...how you spell zis "F-O-L-U-R-S?"

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