CC 212: Running it into the ground by NeoVid 9-24-03

I can't believe Finkelman is dead. I know. It's such a shock. Do you regret putting that "White Power" tattoo on his forehead while he was asleep the night before the NAACP meeting? Not really. Me either. Let's go have a taco.

Evil resident online by NeoVid 10-28-03

Did you know I'm a tester for Resident Evil Online? Really? I've seen some previews of that game. They said that they hated how you couldn't use voice chat. Well, there's a good reason for that. Since half your party is actually computer controlled, voice chat didn't work so well... I think that this guy's CPU controlled! "That is mere paranoia, player designate: Marcus. This unit believes you are attempting to throw suspicion off of yourself."

Messages by NeoVid 11-17-03

Ask me any questions you've ever had. I know all. Oh yeah? Will men ever land on Uranus? Touch-yyy.

Really a true story by NeoVid 4-13-04

Excuse me... Yeah? Does that convenience store have vodka? I don't think so. Shit!

Political by NeoVid 4-18-04

Finish your dinner. Don't you know there are children starving in Africa? I heard that they're starving because Americans eat twice as much as we need. Right! So finish dinner before those kids in Africa get it!

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Bad Bradys "Greg's Freak-Out" by biped 5-21-05

You're nothing to me now, Alice. You're not a maid...you're not a friend...I don't want to know you or what you do. I don't want you anywhere near the clubhouse or my room. When you serve dinner, I want to know an hour in advance so that I won't be there. Oh, for Pete's sake, Greg. For the last time, I didn't throw away your copy of "Monster-Dick Pud Pounders."

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

PSYCHIATRIST by Water_Cooler_Robot 3-28-04

so...you killed a defenseless woman for no reason the other day? YEAH. SURE DID. i see... tell me about your mother. I JUST TOLD YOU ABOUT HER.

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It's grime time.

I miss Water Cooler Robot. You... oops, I mean Water Cooler Robot should do some more strips.

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

My best Episode 3 comics

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So what is on the agenda now that you have turned 18? Statutory rape.

by dcomposed, 5-24-05

- by possums 5-28-05

What's the difference between Cowboy Physics and Kxglic Ugglethuynkrapppppst? What the fuck are you talking about?

- by possums 5-28-05

What's the difference between attitudechicka's comics and Cathy? Syndication!

Typical Oregonian Gay Rights Quarrel by possums 5-29-05

NO SPESHUL RITES T' FAGS! What special rights are you talkin' about? I'Z TALKIN' BOUT BEIN'Z ABLE T' MARRY MENS! But... if same-sex marriages were legal, everyone could have a gay marriage. YEEW CALLIN' ME A FAGGIT, BOY?

Another Typical Oregonian Gay Rights Quarrel by possums 5-29-05

ALL I'MZ SAYIN' IS THAT MARRIGE OTTA BE SACRED! AIN'T NO PERSON SHOULD DEFILE IT'S SANCTITY!!! YEEW HEAR ME? ONE MAN, ONE WOMAN- One time.

Yet Another Typical Oregonian Gay Rights Quarrel by possums 5-29-05

BEIN' A FAG IS AGAINST THE CRISTSHIN RELIGIN'! Have you considered that not all gays are Christians or Catholics? BUT... THIS IS OREGON! Oh, right, stupid me.

Disco, inferno by NeoVid 5-21-04

Jesus, there's one thing I've always wanted to ask you... Yes? Can you do any other steps from the YMCA dance? You know, I really expected more tolerance from him.

CC 248: Nonpedantic

Will you think my next question is stupid? I don't know. Is it?

by NeoVid, 6-04-04

Feeling old 2 by NeoVid 7-19-04

Hey, did you see that they're releasing collections of a bunch of PS1 classics? It'll be great to see them again. There was hardly a bad game in the first set of Playstation games, right? I was too young for video games when the Playstation came out. I see. Excuse me, I have to go check myself into the nursing home now.

Almost original by NeoVid 10-11-04

Hey, did you hear there was a gas main explosion at the law school and no one there lived through it? Wow. What would you call a building full of lawyers being killed? Not enough?

Overheard One Monday... by NeoVid 10-26-04

So I was thinking it would be better if we met on Sunday next time. Sorry, Monday's the only night of the week I'm free. Oh. How about Saturday, then?

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Biff's Dream Date by biped 6-24-05

BIFF MCGURK! You've just won a DREAM DATE...with your OWN SHIT! I've...what? COME ON, Biff! Pound out a REALLY GOOD ONE! After all...it's going to be your DREAM DATE! UNNNFFF!!! I don't understand... Well, my own shit...uh, I guess...this is pretty romantic, huh...?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Little Miss Shocked-in-Advance by possums 6-25-05

Mom, I think it's time I told you... I'm... AAAAAAAAAHHH HHHHH!!!!!!! AAAAAAAA HHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Man, you're no fun. AAAAAAAA HHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Little Miss Shocked-in-Advance 2 by possums 6-25-05

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! What is it ma'mn? A murder?! Rape? Burglary? AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! Epilepsy?

Little Miss Shocked-in-Advance 3 by possums 6-25-05

At a rock concert... AAAAAAAAA HHHHHH!!!!! Whoever wants to go backstage to get... 'intimate' with the band, just SCREAAM! AAAAAAAAA HHHHHH!!!!! Man, Rob, sure she can scream the loudest, but she can't blow for shit! AAAAHHHH *glorp* AAAAAAAAH *glorp* AAAAAAHHH!!!!!

CC 286: Flesh for Fantasy by niteowl 6-28-05

I walked into the club. There was Pussy Galore, and a cavalcade of Revolting Cocks. Then I saw her. She had luscious, Flaming Lips, Nine Inch Nails, and an adorable little Spooky Tooth. I could hardly stop my Rapid Eye Movement as I gazed upon her Flesh...for Lulu, however, this was nothing new, she was used to creatures young and old staring her down. My One-Eyed Jack started to stir as she walked towards me. Her soft, Pink skin made my Wang Chung. Head East, Mr. Bungle did not go...oh no, he headed straight north. She coyly asked me if I would buy her a shot of Everclear. I stammered, "There's a Hole in my Heart that can only be filled by you." She then punched me in the Belly and said, "I hate Extreme!" Then she walked off. I wasn't surprised though. I have bad luck with women. I constantly put my Blackfoot in my Smashmouth when I encounter them. I really wish Rolling Stone would stop with their version of the Penthouse letters.

Why? by niteowl 6-13-05

Why is it that Hugh Grant had to get his knob polished by a hooker when he had Elizabeth Hurley? And why is it that in every movie he does, Hugh Grant is dressed in a suit, with tie off and collar unbuttoned? Why the fuck am I watching Hugh Grant's movies?

Vegas by niteowl 4-24-05

I saw another of those "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" commercials the other day. Based on the conversations these people have and the situations they get into in those commercials... I have come to the conclusion that everyone there is either certifiably insane or whacked out of their minds on drugs. So when are we going, motherfucker?

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

Have a look at these and rate 'em. Thanks.

Carcinogen by FinnNYC 6-14-05

Hey, tell me if you think this lump feels like cancer. Of course it's cancer. All they feed us is saccharin laced tobacco with benzene to wash it down. Sure, but we also get all those cancer fighting drugs. I think you're the control in this test. You've probably been getting a placebo. What!?! Crap, I though my growing blindness was from all the masturbation. If it'll make you feel any better I'll rub your lump.

This one's dumb by FinnNYC 2-18-04

Ok, hands up who's a Dude Ranch first timer...

Sharing by FinnNYC 3-30-05

Cool of them to double up on the bananas today eh? Hell yea! So, how many is that for you so far? Geez... I think I'm up to two dozen at least. See, there's the problem... I just finished my first and there's none left. Hrm... I think my last round of electroshock impaired my ability to give a shit.

Focus by FinnNYC 12-02-04

We don't get fed for another 5 hours, where'd you get that banana? I participated in a focus group. I gave them feedback on some product ideas and got a banana. They've got a bunch. Awesome! How do I get in on that? It's easy, all you have to do is jump around and act aggressive. So what's the product? It's a testicle remover.

Dish-Bot by FinnNYC 1-22-01

Hey there stud. How 'bout you and me ditch this place and I change your oil? I am a Dish-Bot. My only function is washing dishes. Ooooo.. and I bet you "wash" 'em just right. You look pretty clean, how bout gettin' me clean too? We could really make our "dishes" sparkle. I only wash dirty dishes. I'm a Dish-Bot. Mmmm.. I've got a dirty spot right here. Why don't you put some "soap" on it and I'll... help scrub... your... ... You're not just being coy? Dish-Bot

[Click to view comic: 'Escape']
[Click to view comic: 'ASL banana request']
[Click to view comic: 'G-Spot']