OMFG USMC III by RedfeatheR 9-13-05

I HATE THE MARINES HCRoyall!!! I HATE THE ARMY RedfeatheR!!! =D !!! ^-^ !!! You know, there really shouldn't be any mistery why there are so many gays in the military. Studdup! I'm senior on DECK! Salute me BITCH!!!

Did someone beat me to this one?

The Fine Print by Spankling 9-13-05

I take responsibility! This statement does not imply responsibility or a willingness to suffer consequences. Only applies to the extent the federal government didn't fully do its job right. Fool me once, won't get fooled again. Offer not valid in Texas, Louisiana and any Blue states. Other restrictions apply. See dealer for details. Member FEMA.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

I hope no one beat me to this joke:

Evangelism by HCRoyall 9-14-05

Good morning! Can I help you? I'm with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Have you accepted Jesus into your life? Are you kidding me?! I let the bastard in two years ago and he never left! You're out of milk again.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Genetic Cleansing is Fun! by HCRoyall 9-14-05

What are we doing again? Chlorinating the Gene Pool.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Somewhere in Butte, Montana... by RedfeatheR 9-14-05

I fought for the children NOT to name the scool mascot... Really? I fought for " Munchers "

It's just common sense children by RedfeatheR 9-14-05

Chairs are like plucky, cheerful, excited dogs... Is he gonna sit?! Is he gonna sit?! Is he gonna sit?! Is he gonna sit?! Is he gonna sit?! oh, GOD I hope he sits!!! Is he gonna sit?!Is he gonna sit?! Is he gonna sit?! ... as are phones ... Is he gonna answer me?! Is he gonna answer me?! Is he gonna answer me?! Is he gonna answer me?! Is he gonna answer me?! Oh, WHY won't he answer me?! ...but fires are evil.

i will get this 4 votes, i swear it:

CC 292: at the funeral by mandingo 8-15-05

i can't believe Kratz is dead. he was the finest man i've ever known. a poor German immigrant, he pulled himself up by the bootstraps, emassing millions from shoving people up his ass remember that time he shoved the president up his ass? the vice president said, 'keep him there. i'm president now!' jokingly of course. but Kratz plopped him back out, giving his signature handshake oh my! that young lady just shoved Kratz's dead body up her ass! look at that form! it's perfect! and there she goes, plopping him back into the coffin! perfect! young lady! you honor Kratz today! who are you?? i'm the heiress to Kratz!

and 2 new ones:

secret identity by mandingo 8-16-05

give me your money or die horribly OK, just don't shoot! YOU DARE COMMIT A CRIME ON MY WATCH?? oh no! its Lumberjack Man! hey, Tanya. i hear you ran into some no good thug earlier, but Lumberjack Man came and saved the day Rich, we all know you're Lumberjack Man. you're the only other midget within 100 miles

queer eye for the straight guy by mandingo 8-19-05

this room needs more cock sucking this room needs more cock sucking this room is JUST right what have i done?

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what if nigger meant kite

If Real Life were like Roleplaying Games

Opps. I failed my saving throw; I'm pregnant.

by HCRoyall, 9-15-05

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Why I'm not a Preacher

Why did my parents have to die in that horrible car accident? Because God hates you.

by HCRoyall, 9-15-05

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Tyler the interupting cow... err guy by RedfeatheR 9-15-05

Can you tel-- Penisrapenuts! Tell me wher-- Vaginabloodfart! Why won't you let me tal-- huhha!

This is a comic that I put together using the "stripcreator" tools that Brad invented.

CC 296: Save An Aisle Seat For Me by biped 9-14-05

I'm going to the movies to see "The Clown vs. Santa Claus Staring Contest"! Oh, boy! I wanna see it too! Let's go!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

ran across this one:

Wading through the Gene Pool by inseguri 1-28-01

The gene pool needs some chlorine. I could be that chlorine.

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what if nigger meant kite

Woppy Burger 3 by HCRoyall 9-16-05

I want to speak to your manager! The manager's off today. I'm the assistant manager. Then I demand you fire yourself at once! You're a special kind of retarded, aren't you sir?

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

what if herpes meant faith by mandingo 6-29-05

hello my son. i was wondering if you have found jesus and if he has given you herpes. he gives of his herpes freely. all he asks in return is that you spread his herpes to all you come in contact with oh yes father, i do know of jesus and his herpes. it was shortly after starting a relationship with jesus that i first found my herpes. though it's probably more accurate to say my herpes found me that's how herpes is, my son. even now there are days when i think my herpes has gone away entirely. then jesus will come to me and restore my herpes. your herpes will come to you at your darkest hour actually i was doing something i very much enjoy when my herpes first came to me. but herpes became a part of me that day and has remained so despite it being a hardship at times, as i'm sure you know oh no. my having herpes has never been even the slightest bit inconvenient. my herpes brings a consistency to my life. whatever else may change, i can always count on my herpes to flare up in church i guess having herpes wouldn't be as big a hardship for a priest. as a man of the cloth, you could never find yourself in a situation where having herpes might be awkward

I put all my herpes in Mandingo.

Here it is -- your new favorite comic.

Father O'Mallard's Twin Brother by biped 9-19-05

Travis, I wish you wouldn't borrow my clothes while you're visiting for the weekend. Hey, bro -- it was YOUR dog that pissed in my suitcase, remember? Excuse me...I'm very troubled... would you please hear my confession? Huh? Sure! WHOA!!! You SUCKED his COCK? On a fucking FERRIS WHEEL? AWESOME!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Super Robot Hyper Force Go! by HCRoyall 5-08-05

Look at this mess! How could you do this? Well, it was pretty easy, really. Humans are so soft and squishy, and their buildings really aren't built to stand the test of time. And then if you... Oh wait, that was a rhetorical question, wasn't it?

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Since I'm finally back here's a few of which I'm not totally ashamed.

City Life by Smarmulus 8-12-02

Last night at midnight I walked down to the corner store & there were two boys riding bikes on the sidewalk. It made me feel good about this city to see it was safe for kids to be out late at night. I wonder what I should do with their bodies?

Spankling Attempts To Join MENSA part 1 by Smarmulus 8-01-02

I'm your proctor for the MENSA examination. Answer each of these questions as quickly as possible. What is often said to be sincerest form of flattery? Fellatio.

A Very Special Invitation by Smarmulus 8-21-02

I feel great DexX. Why's that Smarmulus? Mr. Andy Dougan has invited me to participate in a special English pastime. I'm going round his flat for biscuits and a game. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! What the hell is so goddamn funny? You're new to ScriptCreator, aren't you?

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Here's a few I nominate as true masterpieces!

Now it all makes sense! by fuzzyman 10-18-01

You know, when you used that anti-gravity generator to walk across the water, that was great! Uh... thanks, but... And when you used the portable replicator to produce those loaves and fishes... that was brilliant! Yes, I know, but... Congratulations, Commander Riker! You've restored the timeline! Dammit, Geordi, get me down from here!

Leave It To Tobor #11 by fuzzyman 8-01-02

Well, Tobor, I've invested your money in the commodities market for you! THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP, KAUFMAN. WHAT COMMODITIES DID YOU INVEST IN? I bought corn futures, just like you said. WHAT? TOBOR NEVER SAID THAT! Of course you did! Didn't you say that you had an interest in "corn holdings?" NEVER INVEST WITH THE PUN-MASTER.

The War on Terror has won by boorite 9-17-05

Sir, because you're running to your plane last-minute style, we must detain you for bonus security purposes. You guys never stop thinkin', do you? Sir, it appears that trained apes have packed your belongings. They weren't trained. Sir, do you have any weapons in your pants? Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it.

When you're down by boorite 4-12-05

Tough day at work? Actually, I have a confession to make. I got fired a month ago. I have a confession, too. I'm sleeping with your brother. What?? For how long? I meant tonight.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

God: Year One, or Tard Boy and Finkleman: The Beginning by HCRoyall 9-21-05

This Finkleman guy. I need you to... Beat down Finkleman. Got it. No, I need you to make sure... Make sure he'll never walk again; yeah, I understood the first time. Mission from God. That's not what I'm telling you to... Oh, I get it now. "You had nothing to do with it." Got it.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

The Tyrrany of Pants by Scyess 9-21-05

Dammit! Stop sending me so many damned e-mail forwards! But it's my way to say, "I'm thinking of you!" Well, what it really says is, "I don't think much of your intelligence." Well, yeah. That too.

Frontier Existentialism by biped 9-22-05

You know...time is like a gentle river out here on the prairie... flowing seamlessly from one day to the next. I can hardly tell one moment from another. Yeah. Well, don't bogart that joint.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Ocularity by FinnNYC 8-26-05

Wow, I never noticed what beautiful blue eyes you have. Oh, you like 'em? I think they're from a dog. A dog? Must've been a husky. I think they have blue eyes. I suspect they may have swapped more than just my eyes though. What makes you think that? ...The overwhelming urge to sniff your ass.