Kronius: Overlord of Time by The_young_scot 11-17-07

Stop right there Kronius! We've got you surrouneded. We know you robbed that bank Be that as it may cockgobbler, but I shall escape....INTO THE FUTURE! I'm still right here HOW ARE YOU KEEPING UP WITH ME?!?

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The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

RCL no. 1733 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 11-20-07

Hi... My name is Mr. Donkey. For those of you who play no-limit hold'em, you know who I am. For those who don't... ...I'm the fucking idiot who calls a $400 all-in bet on a draw that has a 3.48% chance of hitting, but does, and I take all your money! HEE HAW!!

Random pun...

X-Men Recruitment Drive by Xuanwu 11-25-07

My name is Blowback. I have the ability to blow things up by snapping my fingers. I'm the Amazing Blindspot. I can block a person's ability to see the future. All right. Amazing Blindspot, you get first pick of which X team to join. B-b-but why, Professor? His powers take prescience.

RCL no. 1742 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 11-29-07

Who goes there? It's me, Mohamed Atta, one of the dumbasses you conned into flying a plane into the World Trade Cen-ter! Don't you recognize me, Osama? Ah, yes. It's really you. You seem pissed, though... I AM pissed, fuckface! When I got to Muslim heaven, there were no 73 virgins wait-ing for me. In fact, they don't even allow SEX up there! Plus, the food fucking SUCKS!! Really? I'd rather have gone the Christian HELL than Muslim heaven, that's for damn sure!

The Stripcreator Players Present: 2 Girls, 1 Cup by boloboffin 12-10-07

And there it is. Oh, Jesus! Ay caramba! TOBOR NO CAN WATCH!!! Are they? Are they really gonna? BEEN THERE, FAP'D THAT

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

The 15-inch Surprise by biped 1-03-08

Well, Larry...will you do it? Will you suck my new 15-inch dick? NO! And just how the hell did you end up with a 15-inch dick anyway? It must've had something to do with pissing off those gypsies... anyway, if you really loved me, you'd be okay with sucking my new-- DAMMIT, I LIKE TO EAT PUSSY...look, Debbie. I just don't think this is going to work out. Goodbye, and... good luck with your new 15-inch dick. ...and so, my freak-mom married my lesbian mom because Granny wanted grandkids. And that's why I was born with a 15-inch dick. Oh. I thought your "big secret" was going to be that you were, like, a Jehovah's Witness or something.

The Shameful Deception by biped 1-04-08

Well, I'm leavin'...on that midnight train to Georgia... Leavin' on that midnight train... Leavin' on that midnight train... ZZZZZKKK... BZZZTTTT... KKKRRRKKK!!! I wasn't born yesterday, Gladys. One of those Pips tonight was...a ROBOT!!! CURSES!!!

The Shameful Deception--Epilogue by biped 1-04-08

Come back here! You'll never take me alive! TOP OF THE WORLD, MA!!! YAA-HAA-HAAAA!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

My only good comics these days come from quoting things that happen to me in real life...

Slightly unexpected by NeoVid 1-08-08

Three weeks after my ex wrecked our relationship, and now to make it worse, my libido's coming back. Can't... resist... temptation to say, "I can help with that..." Wait until I have my own apartment again. Heh. Wait, what?

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Groovy! - BLACK Russian? HAHAHAHAHA... by edoggydog 1-21-08

On this glorious day celebrating Dr. King's life struggle for equality, there are still injustices in the world about which I can no longer be silent! Groovy! One example was what I obseved last night, a racist conspiracy that is going on in ice cream parlors across this great nation... Ice cream parlors? Do tell, homegrown! Why is it they have a flavor called, "WHITE chocolate", but not "BLACK vanilla"? ???

Death Ledger by RedfeatheR 1-22-08

I wish I knew how to quit you! I wish for a million goddamn dollars!!!

Sally's Afternoon Movie by biped 1-26-08

"This is what joo wanted, isn't it, Tony? Here I am... Fuck me, Tony. FUCK ME, TONY FUCK ME TONY JUST FUCK ME FUUUCK MEEE!!!" FUCK ME, TONY FUCK ME TONY JUST FUCK ME FUUUCK MEEE FUUUUUUCK MEEEEEEEEE!!! GAAAAAAAAA!!! Actually, I've never performed an exorcism. Do you think we should rent the movie first?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Gorgeous Dog by biped 2-28-08

(sniff) Harold has... has LEFT me, Mother! Harold has LEFT you? But...WHY? Because he met... GORGEOUS DOG! Why that STINKING, CHEATING BAST--wait, did you say "Gorgeous Dog"? Oh, well...that's different. No man can resist Gorgeous Dog. (sob) I miss my wife a-and my children, and...oh, why? WHY did you have to be so GORGEOUS?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Groovy! - What If Obama Meant Kite? by edoggydog 3-02-08

Next on Pox News Channel: Today's highlights from the Democratic campaign trail... Groovy! "Today, Mrs. Clinton and Barry Obamma criss-crossed Texas and Ohio to try and reign in last minute votes..." So, I say you all vote for me 'cuz I can gives you HOPE! Know I say-ing, homegrown? YOU BETTER VOTE FOR ME BECAUSE IT'S MY TURN! BESIDES, I KNOW WHAT'S BETTER FOR YOU THAN YOU DO!! NAG!!! NAG!!! Democrats in those two states will most likely detemine who will win the nomination for President... Yes, they'll have to decide if they want the NIGGER or the NAGGER!

This one's very timely:

RIP pluto by areallystupidguy 3-08-08

today in school... okay kids, repeat after me. "my very excellent mother just gave us nine..." my very excellent mother just gave us nine... nine what?! pizzas?! pies?! DON'T LEAVE ME HANGIN'!

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It's grime time.

RCL no. 1809 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 3-13-08

Ever since Heath died, I've been so lonely! *SIGH* I wish I could find someone to keep me warm on those cold winter nights... Uh... HELLOOOOO?? *sniff*

Sally's Cute Misunderstanding by biped 3-18-08

Mommy, what's a "news horse"? "News horse"? Where did you hear THAT, honey? On TV. CNN says that they're "America's Number One News Horse." OH, ha-ha! Not HORSE, sweetie! SOURCE! (Giggle!) SOURCE! "Source"? You mean like SPAGHETTI SOURCE? Okay...is she being cute, or is she just fucking with me?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Midnight Oil - Powderworks by themushroom 3-16-08

In regional news, a tornado touched down at the sewage treatment plant in Nearby. The tornado died down after 15 minutes, but not before sucking up... ...ten thousand gallons of raw sewage. We go now to 3 News weatherman, Peter Puller. Pete, what's the weather report for Spackletown? There's a shitstorm coming.

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Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

RCL no. 1820 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 3-24-08

Welcome, to Petey the Pirate's Gallery. I'm Petey... Arrrrrrggghh! So, you're the one who painted these paintings? Aye! Hmm... This one looks like Blubeard butt-fucking Davey Jones over the barrel of a cannon... I guess that's one [ arrrgh! ] interpretation... Oh, it's no interpretation. You wrote their names on their bodies, and that is definitely an engorged twelve-inch cock Blue-beard's sporting. Trust me, I know...

Too-Many-Beans Wolf by biped 4-05-08

Oh man, did I ever eat too many beans tonight--YAAAAAAAA!!! TOO-MANY-BEANS WOLF!!! I CURSE YOU WITH THE CURSE OF... FARTING!!! FFFRRRRRTTTTT!!!NO!!! NOOOO!!! FFFRRRRRTTTT!!! My job here is done! HONESTLY, Ed! The pastor and his wife are coming over, and...PEE-YEW!!! But it's not my fau--FFFRRRRRTTTTT!!! OH MY GOD!!! FFFRRRRRTTTT!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Sally in "Cutely Stupid" by biped 4-06-08

Guess who came to visit our class today, Mommy! It was Britney Spears' third cousin, Rafe "Tubby" Spears! (sigh) I know, sweetie. I'm your teacher. Huh? How can you be my teacher? You're my MOMMY! Oh, for goodness sake, Sally! I'm your teacher AND your mommy! Yes, Sally? What's wrong? My mommy's gone nuts, Mrs. Flonase! She thinks she's you!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Floyd Reynolds in TV Land 1 by biped 4-07-08

Fuckin' shit TV! PLAY SOME BETTER FUCKIN' SHOWS, GAH-DAMMIT!!! FUCK YOU!!! This shit's all your sorry fuckin' DRUNK ASS deserves, FUCKHEAD!!! Now where was I, oh yeah..."It was at that crucial turning point that Lance decided his sexual identity was more important than being 'in sync' with his"-- THAT DOES IT!!! WHERE'S MY FUCKIN' SHOTGUN, VERNA JEAN!!! Oh, no--you ain't shootin' MY fuckin' TV, ASSWIPE!!! I got "The View" and "Oprah" comin' up, and then my "Judge" shows-- Well SHIT, I guess this is why God made fuckin' CRACKWHORES!!! See yer FUCKIN' ASS "whenever", BITCH!!!

Floyd Reynolds in TV Land 2 by biped 4-07-08

HEY!!! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THAT TV!!! MOMMA'S MISSIN' BARACK OBAMA AND WHOOPI GOLDBERG!!! WAAAAA-HAAAAA!!! I NEVER GIT TA WATCH SESAME STREET LIKE ALL THA OTHER KIDS!!! WAAAAA!!! SNIFF!!! We missed you yesterday, Verna Jean! Me and Joy gave George Clooney foot jobs under the table and he shot TWO big-ass loads! Sorry, girls! My shithead old man snuck up on me yesterday and it took me TWO HOURS to get his fuckin' DICK outta my ass!!! Meanwhile... DAMN, you got a nice TV, Nutragena! Is that a motherfuckin' 19-inch? It sho am! An' you kin watch de Nascars on it if you buys me sum crack!

"Glaynish Glort": The Frimpo Report 1 by biped 4-09-08

Welcome, everyone, to another informative installment of "The Frimpo Report." GLAYNISH GLORT!!! Lots of news, interviews, and opinions right after these messages, so stay tuned. GLAYNISH GLORT!!! "Dogs LOVE Frimpo Dog Food, because when they eat it, they DIE HORRIBLY for Frimpo! Comes in 3 deadly flavors. GLAYNISH GLORT!!!" And now, here's Sally with that special "Frimpo" update that cost 97 people their lives. GLAYNISH GLORT!!! How glorious it must have been to die for Frimpo. Can't wait to be one of the lucky dead. GLAYNISH GLORT!!!

"Glaynish Glort": The Frimpo Report 2 by biped 4-09-08

...and their cremated remains used to spell "Frimpo" in letters large enough to be visible to passing space aliens. GLAYNISH GLORT!!! The monthly "Child Sacrifice to Frimpo" is tomorrow. Donate your children now--let's break last month's record! GLAYNISH GLORT!!! Well, next week's show is going to be special--Sally and I are to be eviscerated and then incinerated alive for Frimpo. GLAYNISH GLORT!!! Finally! I hate my parents, my husband, my children, and this cheap fascade we call "reality." And now, Cartoon Time. GLAYNISH GLORT!!! Rabbit season! GLAYNISH GLORT!!! Duck season! GLAYNISH GLORT!!!

Sally Goes To Hell by biped 4-21-08

Mommy, is it a sin to say "but"? Like in, "No ifs, ands, or buts"? Yes--my dear, damned darling. I'm sorry, B-U-T you are going to Hell. 500,000,000,000,000,000 years later... BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT... GAAAAAAA!!! I'M GETTING SICK OF HEARING YOU SAY "BUT"!!! GET OUTTA HERE!!! BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT... Oh, shut up.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

RCL no. 1853 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 5-12-08

...and then I stuck my finger up Hector's rectum and he immediately "released the hounds", if you know what I mean! I do, you little whore... Y'know, I once tried sticking my finger up grandpa's ass while sucking his dick, and he beat me like a rented mule! Really? When was this, nana? Last week. HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA

RCL no. 1854 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 5-13-08

You wanted to speak to me, Blue Fish? Yes, Pink Donkey! I just heard Obama Hussein wants to destroy Christmas!! Um, I really don't think Senator Obama wants to really destroy Christmas. You must be mistaken... Maybe. Probably. Hell, words get reallyy muffled under water. Pretty much sounds like the adults talking in those Peanuts cartoons, if you know what I mean... And, to think I gave up an afternoon of masturbating to five-second on-line porn clips to listen to your dumbass! You found a website that shows five-second porn clips? Where? WHERE??