...shared the latest fashion tips; I believe Jackson's one-glove deal actually began because the Pope told him...

..."Those altar boys keep saying, 'No glove, no...'"

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

... "other glove", he said "What in the hell is that supposed to mean, anyhoo" he asked me, as he often would when our conversations ran into the wee hours and life and the universe were discussed in depth, but that was a pretty bad evening for both the Pope and myself, since he had just gotten back from Scotland and had spent a week with some cardinal who kept going on about "Scrayming boadles iv Shite Old Naff de Poop or soomat" and offering the Pope crap fish and chips, which, of course, he can't digest due to....

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

...a crazy situation that started actually back in the mid-1400's, when, it seems...

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

... the pope was injured whilst preaching to a bunch of insane tax inspectors, who attacked the pope with such venom that he would have died had it not been for a cybernetics expert who happened to be near by who managed to rebuild the pope using old cans of paint and pieces of string thus creating "Robo-Pope", whose primary functions were to Protect the Catholic Faith, Uphold the Law, ....

...and inspect cheese, which came in pretty handy when Robo-Pope was asked to...

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Mediocrity at its most average.

...certify that the mold pattern in the shape of Jesus on an old wedge of fontinella was actually a miracle, because everyone knows that...

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

...fontinella is prone to produce mold in the shape of Elvis, who is often mistaken for Jesus, especially by...

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

...Rosie O'Donell's live studio audience, some of whom are still learning to sort basic colors and shapes, though according to some experts they may one day be capable of...

---
"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

...shitting without assistance...

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Jesus saves, but everyone else in a 10 foot radius takes full damage from the fireball.

... but this will only be possible if sufficient funds can be raised, to support these people James Hetfield will ...

---
And you know what Hell is, folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing 'Shadowdancing' for aeons and aeons...

...go on tour of North America and Europe with his new charity concept show entitled "Once I Took An Entire Rack of Pool Balls Up the Arse: Hetfield and Metallica - This Is How Hard We Used To Rock Back When We Wrote Call of Chthullu " as well as...

---
Please replace the handset, and try again.

...giving all the money to the charity PWCNAMSITWTA, ("People Who Couldn't Name A Metallica Song If They Wanted To Aid"), because...

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

...Hetfield ought to make up for that album Metallica released with blood and jizz on the sleeve, because that was as gay as...

---
Please replace the handset, and try again.

...a sack full of fornicating Richard Simmons clones...

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

...eating molten mozzarella...

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Jesus saves, but everyone else in a 10 foot radius takes full damage from the fireball.

...and sweating profusely to the oldies, taking his deal-a-meal to new heights as he...

---
“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

...drinks a bottle of new Diet Chateauneuf du Pape and...

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

...immediately loses 45 lbs due to the ultra secret ingredient in the new diet version, which is actually...

---
I really am a fan.

... another euphemistic term for getting your best friend's wife pregnant, or as the French like to call it ...

---
"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

..."Sweatin' to the Moldies"...

---
"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

... which, oddly enough, is the phrase used in the Bush cabinet to mean ...

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

.... "Kill the Foreigners!", despite the fact that Bush can barely tie his own shoes, not that that matters because his father....

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

...is also my father, seeing as, according to the fine people at the Maury show, the tests say so, though he seemed in denial of the whole thing when Maury read the results to us and George W. won't return my calls though I leave messages on his answering machine all the time when I'm not...

---
~But now you realize / He's not selling any alibis~

...mastubating furiously while reading...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.