quote:

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I like pie
Pie Pie Pie
Pie Pie Pie Pie
Pie Pie Pie
Pie?
Pie!
Pie??
Pie!!

Don't ask why, I like pie
I like pie, that is why
I will die, with no pie
With no pie, I will die
Die Die Die
Die Die Die
Die Die Die Die
Die Die Die
Die?
Die!
Die??
Die!!
Die Die Die Die
Die Die Die!!

Piece out.

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'lo

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

i like big butts and i cannot lie
you other brothers cant deny
da da da da face.....sprung

thats all i can give this thread

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xx( o Y o. )xx

Hey, you stole that! I hope Sir Mixalot and his girls with big butts kill you! >:(

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

quote:

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I've become everything I ever hated.

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nbsdOKSLA....It was my birthday 2 days ago....i'm 17....and i probably wont be performing this at my school's coffee house today because i forgot to sign up.

quote:

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I've become everything I ever hated.

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I hate you, jes_lawson.

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quote:

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quote:

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I've become everything I ever hated.

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I hate you, jes_lawson.

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I performed at my school's coffee house on Thursday. I did a rap. It was just all the good lines I took out of two old ones because I needed one that didn't have bad language. I called it "Don't front the fat kid". I was nervous because I thought nobody would like it. But I got up there and did it. I was kinda shaky at first, but I got a little better because my spirits were raised becaue after every single line there was an uproar of laughter and I had to take a 10 second break until everyone calmed down.
After I was done, there was a huge explosion of applause and hoots which really made me feel good because I was feeling rather down lately. Somebody told me that I broke a record of the biggest applause.
Sorry to sound snooty or anything, but I never actually performed before because I was too shy.
I'm going to preform there every coffee house, it's real fun for me.

Anyway, I'm actually brought this thread back up to tell you that I'll be putting up recording of my raps up shorlty.

I eagerly await selling bootleg boinky33 CD's to all the underground heads in my neighborhood.

My penis is erect in anticipation.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

That kicks ass boinky! Good luck with that! =D

Boinky, I wish I had seen this thread a lot earlier. Holy shit was that rap funny. I'm sitting in the computer lab right now at my girlfriend's college of Gettysburg University, laughing my ass off. Luckily I'm the only chump in a college computer lab on a Sunday, but I wouldn't care anyway. I wish I could have seen it performed live.

Boink, just don't forget about me when you're famous, because I seriously believe you're the most talented person here.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Thank you very much. Run away with me to Tahiti. We’ll freestyle until the sun comes up.

quote:

---

I like pie
Pie Pie Pie
Pie Pie Pie Pie
Pie Pie Pie
Pie?
Pie!
Pie??
Pie!!

Don't ask why, I like pie
I like pie, that is why
I will die, with no pie
With no pie, I will die
Die Die Die
Die Die Die
Die Die Die Die
Die Die Die
Die?
Die!
Die??
Die!!
Die Die Die Die
Die Die Die!!

Piece out.

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Dang, we don't have anything where I live.

Word, word, word, yo.
Word, word, word, yo.
Word to ya moms
Word to ya pops
Word to the pizza that gave me da ass-slops.

Word, word, word, yo.
Word, word, word, yo.
Word to ya granny
That busted-ass tranny
I tagged that bitch in her wrinkled-ass fanny

Word, word, word, yo.
Word, word, word, yo.
Word to ya sista
Word to ya bro
Word to the corns on my big, stanky toe

Word, word, word, G!
Word, word, word, G!
Word to tha kiddies
They gots pus and zitties
I'm out like the perkiness of ya moms' old titties.

Word.
Word.
Word.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I performed at coffee house again. I did pretty good. There were some laughs, but it wasn't as good as last time. I will now post the two raps I did. One has the same choras as the other I posted, but it's a little different.

Don't Stop IT

I’ve been rapping since I was in the womb – and I’ll keep rapping till I am in a tomb.
I don’t know what will be my doom, but I know it won’t be soon.
Cuz I’m on a quest to be better than the rest. My teeth are so white, cuz I brush with Crest
I got more money than you – I got more honies than Winnie the Pooh.
I got more rhymes that Dr. Suess – and I’m more hung than a bull moose.
As I said, I’m better than the rest. I’m even better than 50 Cent.
I’m so much better than the baler that they call me 50 dollar.
And I don’t just got bling-bling. I got: bling (several times)………bling!
If ya got a beat then drop it
If ya made a mess than mop it
If ya got a field of wheat then crop it
But never stop it. Never ever stop it.
If ya got a beat then drop it
If ya made a mess than mop it
If ya got a zit then pop it
But never stop it. Never ever stop it.
You say I succeed, minus the eed
And that I will pay for my dirty deeds
You say I’m the worst, even worse than Creed
A taste of JD is what you need.
You think you got me beat? You think you got me licked?
Well, you can’t beat me cuz my rhymes are sick.
Sicker than a guy with the flu, you don’t know what to do.
Cuz I be rapping circles around you. Maybe some squares and triangles, too.
Nooooowwww, I wanna rap, see? My mom won’t let me.
But I am neutered so I won’t get teste.
I hope one day she’ll let me be so I can bust the rhyme of the century.
In my raps, I make bold statements. And I get paid for product placements.
Drink Pepsi, drink Pepsi. Eat at McDonalds and drink Pepsi.
Now, Yakof Smerof, you know what to do. In Soviet Russia, mic rocks you.
If ya got a beat then drop it
If ya made a mess than mop it
If ya got a loogie then hock it
But never stop it. Never ever stop it.
If ya got a beat then drop it
If ya made a mess than mop it
If ya got a gun then cock it
But never stop it. Never ever stop it.
Now, I’m just like a penis cuz I’m always in your face. I’m also kinda hairy and I got bad taste. I don’t care if you’re offended by that - the cameras won’t catch me cuz I’ll be wearing a hat.
Everyone knows that I am the man. It’s like what they say in Japan: (Japanese rambling)
I’m not quite sure what that means, but 4 out of 5 dentists agree….
That I rock the mic like no other. I got slippery rhymes. Like butter.
And my rhymes stay crunchy in milk, that’s a guarantee.
And my rhymes are low in carbs, cuz that’s trendy.
1 2 3, hit it! Slap ya in the face with a piece of salami. You’re hurt now, go cry to yo mommy. She’ll wipe your tears with absorbent Brawny. I bet that you listen to Yanni.
Think you’re all that, but you are wack. Don’t step on a crack or you’ll break yo mother’s back. Bustin’ out rhymes is my knack. You all know I’m the miggity mac.
Steppin’ in, steppin’ out. That’s what I’m all about. Gotta go easy on my feet cuz I got gout. Hurts so much, I scream and shout, but it’ll take more to make me pout.
If ya got a beat then drop it
If ya made a mess than mop it
If ya got a field of wheat then crop it
If ya got a zit then pop it
If ya got a loogie then hock it
If ya got a gun then cock it
If ya got a door then lock it
If ya got a fence then hop it
If ya got a store then shop it
If ya got some cans then stock it
But never stop it. Never ever stop it.
Peace!

Oh-no! I stepped on the cat's head!

Layin’ in my bed – almost fell asleep. But I get a grumble in my stomach so I get something to eat. But when I walk to the hall, I step on something small. I hear a loud yell. What the hell?
Uh-oh, this isn’t gonna be pretty. Cuz I think that I just stepped on the kitty.
Oh-no, I stepped on the cat’s head!
Oh-no, now I think it is dead!
Oh boy, is my face ever red!
Because I just stepped on the cat’s head! (again)
So now the cat’s dead, not moving at all. With it laying on the floor and some of it on the wall. Don’t know what to say, don’t know what to do. First things first, I’m gonna clean him off my shoe. Don’t know how my parents’ll act when they see – the cat’s brain on the rug and on my Nike. Hope they don’t get mad cuz it wasn’t intentional……I don’t know what rhymes with intentional.
Oh-no, I stepped on the cat’s head!
Oh-no, now I think it is dead!
Oh boy, is my face ever red!
Because I just stepped on the cat’s head! (again)
I’d perform mouth-to-mouth if I could find his lips. But that wouldn’t help because he’s headless. Actually, he still has a head. Most of it’s over there and under the bed.
Maybe I should get a new cat. One with a strong skull. Maybe I should get a new cat. One that won’t sleep in the hall.
But as for this one, you will see. I’ll flush him down the toilet because he’s always wanted a burial at sea.
Oh-no, I stepped on the cat’s head!
Oh-no, now I think it is dead!
Oh boy, is my face ever red!
Because I just stepped on the cat’s head!
Oh-no, I stepped on the cat’s head!
Oh-no, now I think it is dead!
Oh boy, is my face ever red!
Because I just stepped on the cat’s head!
Oh-no, I stepped on the cat’s head!
Oh-no, now I think it is dead!
Oh boy, is my face ever red!
Because I just stepped on the cat’s head!
Oh-no, I stepped on the cat’s head!
Oh-no, now I think it is dead!
Oh boy, is my face ever red!
Because I just stepped on the cat’s head!

There you go.
Oh, and I also made a few tapes (I called it "Hip-Hop on pop") and sold them for three dollars......I sold all six and made 18 dollars!
Who wants ice cream?

i was a gangsta rapper in home room when I was in high school (circa 1994). incidentally, this rap is quite a bit cooler if you live in Crawfordsville, Indiana, which you don't.

UNTITLED
A Cheez Dogg rap:

Rollin' in my 8-9 with my homey Aloicious
Stop at the light and roll in to Dari-Licious
Just like Live, I'm sellin' the drama,
I plunk down a five and order two Bahama Mamas,
So I'm rollin' in the Corsica, just before dark
Watchin' the kids makin' out in Turtle Park
This story's so bomb it's startin' to get to me,
So let me pass the mic to motherfuckin' I.D.

(at which point my homey I.D. takes over, and here's the only part of his rap I remember [but it's brilliant])

They call me I.D. 'cause I was young when I started
I once capped a nigga just because the nigga farted.

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

oh... by the way,

should be in every rap ever.

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars