Fun With Government Workers by up4abeer 8-01-06

U.S. Office of Immigration Race? Car We're not playing the word game. How does that make you feel? WHAT COLOR IS YOUR FUCKING SKIN? African Canadian

J/K by Grumpus 10-07-04

So how's Derek doing? I guess he's doing OK. I haven't seen him in a while. Yeah? Why's that? I'm afraid I'll say something stupid and wind up in one if his comics.

Godot by CowTipper 3-24-08

See this red light? There's no one around. I'm gonna run it just to prove a point. We spend way too much of our lives waiting... waiting for opportunity to come... We wait for the right moment, for good news, for bad news, and we wait for the light to change when there's no-frickin-body around! While you were talking, it turned green. Shit. Let's wait for it to turn red again so I can run it. Then let's blog about it.

Shocker therapy by Pudge 5-22-07

Sorry kid, that did nothing for me. NEXT! Damn

What do you want to hear? by smajeon 2-04-06

Are you here to kill me? Are you gonna run if I say yes? Yeah. Then, no. I'm not here to kill you.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

J/K by Grumpus was written by one of my good friends.  I play the unseen part of "Derek."

Tard Boy and Finkelman by squidrabies 10-22-02

UH-OH, I MADE A STINKER! Wow, farting is really funny! Ha ha ha I know! I mean, not only does your filthy asshole make a silly noise, I also get to inhale putrid smelling air that used to be INSIDE your filthy asshole! What fun! Hmm, I'm picking up on a 'farting is actually not funny' vibe. No really, it would be even better if you could just take a shit directly into my lungs! Cut me open, funny man!

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

I am this close to taking the xbox away, young man by FactoryRejects 9-03-09

Lord, how can I be a better Christian? Just trust in the holy word, and give yourself fully unto- Don't you tell me to hold on. I pay for half of that bluetooth, kiddo. Yes and I pay for the other half and I am A GROWN MAN and I really wish- Lord? -A GROWN MAN

Just read this one at work and got weird looks from the other cubicles thanks to the weird snort-laugh I made.

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

2nd Coming of Christ: "Double Boogie" by PaulETick 1-09-08

That's It.. I'm sick of you cheating!! First you burned a bush because you sliced your drive and it was in the way of your chip shot... Then you parted the water hazzard on Hole 8!! ... You could of at least have given me a Handicap!! Very Funny..

WoW! by Splunge 8-11-05

In local news, Splunge cancelled his World of Warcraft account today. He explained," Well it was getting really boring. I've been playing since beta and I just couldn't take the grind anymore. But I am kind of sad about it." Other players of the game were quite sympathetic, saying,"Can I have your stuff? Fucking L4M3r. And, OMFG!!!111!!!2 LOLZOR WTF NOOB."

The Pimpin Chronicles by romanum 2-22-10

Take good notes my young playah in da pimp-making. The three laws of Pimp Physics: 1) A ho in motion tends to stay in motion... ....a ho in motion...yes...got it... 2) A pimp cannot be created or destroyed... ..this is good stuff... 3) The most important one, for every ho action, there is an equal and opposite PIMP REACTION! And I'm through, pimpin! ...this is some straight up Newtonian-type shit here!

Kattgrrl #1 by mattiekitty 4-05-05

So I puked on her bed this morning. You sure that was a good idea? Well... she said she was sick and tired of cleaning up puke off the carpets every day. I figured she'd enjoy the change. I'm outta here..

Please, throw me anywhere, just not into that briar patch! by flatblack 3-29-10

So what seems to be the problem? I'm not feelin so good, Doc. I've got the anxiety, sleeplessness, lack of appetite, and a general feeling of malaise. Also my mouth is unusually moist Hmmm...I've been seeing a lot of the same symptoms in otherwise healthy young people lately. It must be like, something going around, you know? I'm going to recommend you as a medical marijuana patient. It seems to be the only thing that helps so far. Well, if you think it'll work, I'll try it.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Just saw this thread and loved the idea. The toprating stumping thread has been so bad for so long, having degraded into a place where everybody posts their own mediocrity. All of it. :\

Still, I wasn't sure if I should post some of these since they've been on the top 20 before, and I've posted a couple of them in the toprated stumping thread, but then I thought screw it: They deserve to be seen again and again.

Yay!

Congratulations sir, now it's a girl.

by Injokester, 4-25-07

Three alarm by mandingo 2-15-08

please! save the jewelry! it's been passed down for generations! please! save the stock certificates! they're worth thousands! i'm sorry, ma'am, i couldn't find any of those things. but look who i did find! why would i want their cat?

Noah by ObiJo 2-11-04

Howdy do, Noah! Howdy do, Penguin! Howdy do, Noah! Howdy do, Cow! Fuck you in the earhole, Noah! Fuck you right dab in the earhole!

Door Number Three by LuckyGuess 12-12-08

Please, my Lord, allow me to present you with this humble gift of gold. This humble gift of WHAT?! We had a spending limit, asshole!

Catches-on-fire-in-the-second-panel-man by dcomposed 9-17-08

Uh oh! It's Catches-on-fire- in-the-second- panel-man. That's right. And you're going straight to jail. Continue the robbery.

On the Run by scotchromanian 1-17-05

Dude, I just stole a bunch of shit from the mall, and now the cops are after me -- We gotta switch shirts! OK. Dude, thanks! No problem. Did you really think you'd get away with it?

And because I'm a huge geek:

30: Goto 10 by DragonXero 1-30-04

Knock knock. Who's there? Recursive code. Recursive code who? Knock knock.

Conspicuously absent from my list, the stripper I would do an exposé on is squidrabies. His God's Image series is spectacular.

God's Image by squidrabies 1-10-08

I created everything and everone, right? So that's not enough for them now? Apparently not, sir. They'd like you to... you know... make things better. Better than not existing? Don't they already have that? Specifically, they're not too excited about cancer. Or retarded kids. Or genocide. I thought I gave them a sense of humor. It's not quite as refined as yours, sir.

Final comments: It's amazing how many comics posted in this thread I'd already rated good. Great thread idea, ladyj.

Spoiler by ladyjdotnet 7-21-07

I got a sweet new spoiler installed on my car. Oh really? Yeah, it says "Hermione dies on page 73!"

I wish this guy would com back and create more strips

Tribute to Carl by cpausti 11-01-05

*chomp chomp sssssslurp* Dude! You did it! 20 "Hot as Hell" wings in less than 10 minutes! We've got to go and get a beer for this one! Uhh... I don't think so. Why? What were you planning on doing tonight?

Agreed--this is my favorite cpausti strip:

Sex Ain't No Stranger by cpausti 6-07-05

Will you draw a picture of me? Sure! But, this time, don't make my boobs look like blimps with "Sex Ain't No Stranger" tatooed on the sides. Got an eraser?

I'm so goth... by terrybrass 4-13-06

I've writen a song, my love. About our secret meeting place....of love.  :)  "Graveyard,Graveyard/I am your slave,yard. Graveyard Graveyard/ for you i'll never bath,yard"   ?   I've got others!! Such as "I'm so goth, i shit bats", WAIT!

i could post a shitload of mandingo's

what high drama was like before the fire prop was created by mandingo 7-08-07

*BURN CRACKLE* *BURN CRACKLE* *BURN CRACKLE* HELP! MY BABY!

more mandingo madness

At the bar by mandingo 6-09-08

i've decided to become a pacifist to control my short temper. watch--call my wife a dirty whore and tell me you've fucked her sure, that should be easy since your wife is a dirty whore and i have fucked her in the poop shoot hey, Joe, do pacifists get mulligans? couldn't tell ya. but what say you stop pissing on old Pete there and we go look it up on wikipedia

Match Maker by MaKK_BeNN 12-09-03

I was at Subway yesterday and I wasn't sure if the girl behind the counter was retarded or not. Then I got an errection and I knew that she must be.

Over The Rainbow by Ewwwww 5-21-03

Ok baby, lets get it on... And When I say lets get it on I mean... Ill pay you three hundred dollars to sing "Over the rainbow" while I cry in the fetal position...

Tard Boy and Finkelman by squidrabies 2-28-03

Do you believe in God? I believe in the belief of God. I believe that the idea of a God existing exists. So... do you believe in God or not? I believe in the possibility that a God or Gods may have the potential to, in some sense, exist, if not in this reality, in a person's mind or possibly another dimension. Is that a maybe? I've made myself clear.

The Silent War at my office by mmyers 6-04-04

I have the What Would Jesus Do bracelet and matching bumper sticker. I have the "Jesus is the son that starts my day" screen saver. I have the Bible Day-by-Day calender at my desk and I also have a Daily planner with bible verses in it. I have the fish on the back of my car, along with an air brushed fish liscence plate on the front and I dial Dial-a-Prayer everyday on my lunch break. Excuse me ladies, but I believe the path to being righteous is-- Shut up, dick face. I named my children after the apostles I love Jesus so much. Top that, Janet.