There are people in our government who will never let that happen, my friend.

I'm gonna extend this contest out till Sunday, to give anyone else who wants to submit a series a chance to do so.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Bob, is that you?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Okay, I didn't think I'd bother entering because I think DexX's series takes it. However, inspiration struck, and I'm inspiration's bitch.

This is my life, part 1 by ladyjdotnet 9-07-02

New York City. The Plaza Hotel. 1974. I was conceived. So, it seems, was my personality. Was it good for you? Hopefully the end will justify the means.

This is my life, part 2 by ladyjdotnet 9-07-02

New York City. Beth Israel Hospital. 1974. I was born. Those cute candystripers sure did think me a stud, carrying that baby around. Why do you have beer in a hospital? Wait a second, what the hell did you do with the baby? That was my first mistake. Is this how it's going to be from now on? "Where's the BABY, Andy?" Jesus Christ, woman. All you do is nag. Thank you, nurse. I'm sure my husband didn't intentionally leave her in the cafeteria.

This is my life, part 3 by ladyjdotnet 9-07-02

New York City. The borough of Brooklyn. 1977. Three weeks before my third birthday. My sister was born. There was much rejoicing. Wonderful. Just after we get one potty trained, you go and pop out another wailing, smelly soft-serve dispenser. Why do you care? I'm sure you won't change the diapers on this one either.

This is my life, part 4 by ladyjdotnet 9-07-02

My sister provided me with so much. Hey Liz, what does the bottom of my shoe say? Companionship, conversation, commiseration... It says... ...and a place to transfer all the crap I got from my parents. N... I... K... OW!

This is my life, part 5 by ladyjdotnet 9-07-02

Grade School is tough on the fat girl. Hey Fatty McFat! Stop walking, you're making the world shake! Hahahaha! That was funny! Especially when she handled the teasing by crying. Awww, you gonna cry? Now we'll just have to call you Blubby McBlubber! Tee hee, you're so funny! Perspective is always found too late. I'd better keep teasing Jessica or people might start to realize that I'm a budding lesbian. Thank god Jessica came along, or I'd still be the unpopular kid!

[Click to view comic: 'This is my life, part 6']
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Whew, I'm spent.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Bob, is that you?

Needent Noo?

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

*whew*

CC141: Life and Times - 1 by fuzzyman 9-07-02

I was born in 1965. Our new son! Only three and a half pounds! I was kind of a surprise. Our fourth child! That's what we get for "practicing!" Catholic parents = no birth control. So... What do you think? He's got a full head of hair now, but I don't think it will last.

CC141: Life and Times - 2 by fuzzyman 9-07-02

I was photogenic baby. The store photographers said so. Smile for the camara, Chris! Goo! They blew up my picture and hung it in the window as an advertisement. Oog! By "blew up" I mean, "enlarged," of course. Good boy! Whee!

CC141: Life and Times - 3 by fuzzyman 9-07-02

When I was three I fell off the dock into Candlewood Lake. It was a formative experience. I was not a natural swimmer. As it turned out, I was a very natural sinker. Where has that boy gotten to? *glub*

CC141: Life and Times - 4 by fuzzyman 9-07-02

In 6th grade, I starred in H.M.S. Pinafore. He is the Captain of the Pinafore... ....and a right good Captain, too! This was the beginning of my thespian tendencies. He's very, very good, and be it understood... ...I would sure like to muff dive you! THESPIAN, Ladies! I said, THESPIAN! *ahem* Oopsie. Sorry. My bad.

CC141: Life and Times - 5 by fuzzyman 9-07-02

I was a very skinny kid. Chris! Time for dinner! My family nickname was "Toothpick." Where is that boy? I was kind of a picky eater. CHRISTOPHER!! I'm right here.

[Click to view comic: 'CC141: Life and Times - 6']
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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Namgubed

Harlan Ellison wrote that. Is this an allusion or a plagarism?

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

quote:

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Namgubed

Harlan Ellison wrote that. Is this an allusion or a plagarism?

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quote:

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It was both an allusion to Ellison, and to the fact that Dilbert has no mouth.
Welcome to the Grand Allusion.

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CC141 Every Biographic Detail Suitable for Sharing by kelly_midnight 9-07-02

1985... 1985... 1985... Sweetheart...it_is_plausible that you are stripcreating with accomplished people who were born when you graduated high school. Now then, can we get on with the nitty gritty of your life story?

CC141 Every Biographic Detail Suitable for Sharing II by kelly_midnight 9-08-02

Where's the harm in sharing your past with these stripcreators? If I wanted to fudge a life story for near strangers I would rather do it over a nice dinner date. Ha ha, hee hee hee! Oh dear me! Haaar haar ha ha!... *giggle* Ha ha, a "nice dinner date" Hee... you certaily covered the fanciful-hope-for-the-future segment of the contest rules! Heh heh!

CC 141: 16 clumsy and shy, that's the story of my life. (1) by lara7 9-08-02

Scene: the mid 70's. lara7 encounters the first of many disappointments in life. Honey, you can't go into first grade this year. You aren't old enough. Let me get this straight. I can read, but they won't let me into elementary school? Yes, they say you missed the cutoff. So since I was born in March rather than December, I'm supposed to lay idle for a year? That's the public school system for you. I hate the government.

CC 141: 16 clumsy and shy, that's the story of my life. (2) by lara7 9-08-02

Luckily, a solution was at hand: Good news! I enrolled you in private school! They don't care how old you are. Private school? Won't it be a bunch of snobs? No no, this is a secular private school. It won't be snob, it'll be kids of liberals. What's a liberal? Uh...we'll talk about that when you're older. I hate politics.

CC 141: 16 clumsy and shy, that's the story of my life. (3) by lara7 9-08-02

lara7's school years were somewhat problematic: You are younger than the rest of us. We shall taunt you. That's not really fair. I mean, we're all kids here. But we will get breasts and boyfriends before you. Ha! oh yeah? I sense a flash-forward literary device will be employed. That's pretty big talk for a sixth grader.

CC 141: 16 clumsy and shy, that's the story of my life. (4) by lara7 9-08-02

lara7 quickly developed an interest in older men: I'm only 16, but I'm smarter and better read than most of your fellow college students. Damn! She's right! So, you wanna make out? I could go to jail for this! Okay.

CC 141: 16 clumsy and shy, that's the story of my life. (5) by lara7 9-08-02

College brought its share of heartache: lara7, we've been going out for 2 years now. I will now give you this diamond ring that belonged to my mother. Oh wow! I'm engaged! Whoa, sister! Just because I told you I want to be with you and gave you a ring, doesn't mean I'm ready to think about MARRIAGE! Then If this isn't a proposal, what is it? A way of keeping you humble?

[Click to view comic: 'CC 141: 16 clumsy and shy, that's the story of my life. (6)']
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When they invent BookFace, I'm -there-.

Lara! You were on BITNET? Cool!

Check out this blast from the past: http://nethistory.dumbentia.com/

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Lara , youre 6000 miles from me , but i still love you.

(Note : That could be the "Worst Possible Ending" youre looking for)

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

From the title of your series I would have thought your life would have been a little more like Morrisey's.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

From the title of your series I would have thought your life would have been a little more like Morrisey's.

Morrissey , post Smiths , has been the largest pile of musical shit ever to invade the airwaves. Even New Kids on The Block pale into insignificance against the monotone self obsessed droning of that man.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

The Fawn Spews #1 by my_fawn_has_diarrhea 9-08-02

Reading all these autobiographical strips has made me tired of all these self-absorbed whiners. So I've decided to tell my own story and show that not all strippers lives are full of dysfunction and sorrow. Some can be filled with dysfunction and happiness.

The Fawn Spews #2 by my_fawn_has_diarrhea 9-08-02

I was born in 1973 to very observant Catholic parents. Thank god for this new life. I thank god that the labor pains have stopped. However, my Catholic upbringing has damaged me psychologically. In fact, I remain an observant Catholic... I still attend church regularly and follow most of the church's teachings. But not all of them... as the mother's of my illegitimate children can attest.

The Fawn Spews #3 by my_fawn_has_diarrhea 9-08-02

When I was 6, my only other sibling was born. Praise the lord, it's another boy! I'm never going to let you touch me ever again. Michael and I were always the best of friends. You hold the bag and wait here, while I go and chase the snipe in this direction.  OK  In fact, he always did what I told him too because he idolized me. That and the threats of physical abuse.

The Fawn Spews #4 by my_fawn_has_diarrhea 9-08-02

I attended a Catholic boy's high school. So by the time I got to college, I was ready to let loose. I experimented with sex... C'mon baby, if we do it this way you won't get pregnant. So will getting up and leaving the room. and drugs. Son, have you been drinking? No officer. What would give you that idea? Oh yeah, and I got a degree... in English... I think. Hopefully now those nightmares about being unprepared for class will finally stop.

The Fawn Spews #5 by my_fawn_has_diarrhea 9-08-02

Two years after graduation, you would have found me in a good job, with a blond busty girlfriend, and a brand new Firebird. I making life my bitch. Within 6 months, all hell broke loose. I lost my job, my brother died of cancer, my girlfriend left me, and after a night of heavy drinking I wrecked my car. Oh shit, what have I done? The only bright spot in that time period was that I met a certain physical therapist. I LUV YOUUUUUUUU! That's the drugs talking.

[Click to view comic: 'The Fawn Spews #6']
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I'm half spit, by body weight.

quote:

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From the title of your series I would have thought your life would have been a little more like Morrisey's.

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I hope it's not too late. Even if, this was a hoot to make.

CC 141 - Gabe Part 1 by gabe_billings 9-08-02

It begins. Congratulations, Dr. and Mrs. Billings. You've got a healthy new baby boy. That's fantastic! Let's have a look at him. Here he is. He's beautiful. Say, why is that crib sagging in the middle? Well, your son is what we in the medical field like to call 'husky'. I see.

CC 141 - Gabe Part 2 by gabe_billings 9-08-02

What we need is a cute name to call little Gabe. Something darling. Hmmm.... how about Gabby? Too pedestrian. Something with more zing. How about L'il Angel? Enough with the religion stuff. Gabie-Poo? I shit you not. They called me this. I've got it! RFP! Royal Fat Person! I love it!

CC 141 - Gabe Part 3 by gabe_billings 9-08-02

Hey hon. I'm home from work. Anything interesting happen today? Nothing. Ran some errands. Did a little shoping. Oh. So what's for dinner? Oh, there was that little thing where Gabe got out of his car seat, opened the door and fell out of the car in front of a truck. The truck thing is real. I made up the rest. Good lord! Is everything ok? Yes thank god. Who knows what might have happened to the truck if it'd hit the RFP.

CC 141 - Gabe Part 4 by gabe_billings 9-08-02

You won't believe it Ken! Gabe's first grade teacher put him in an accelerated class and says he reads at a level several grades above his. Wohoo! Our kid's a genius! I hear you're doing great in school son. Say, what's with the electrical outlet? Oh, I was reading that book on safety for kids that you bought me and it said never to jam paperclips into outlets. So what happened? I tried it. Duh.

CC 141 - Gabe Part 5 by gabe_billings 9-08-02

I need to make a diorama for school dad. Maybe you can help. I'll need some popsicle sticks and cotton and stuff. Sure son. We could work on it this weekend. One day later... It's Saturday dad! Let's get started! Well son, I got up at three this morning and started puttering with your diorama. I did a little work on it... Gee dad. It looks like you pretty much finished it. I guess the Alamo does look better carved out of limestone than it would made out of Legos. And I used some parts from an old clock, so all the men move, and the canons really fire! I even wove those rugs on a tiny loom.

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