... tiny little warped brain, but since I'm really no better than you (even though I actually finished 12th grade) I acquiesce, and leave it all up to...

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

...cunts...

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

...which are, after all, the most important meal of the day...

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Have you ever noticed how Massachusetts looks like a drunk Possum passed out against a dumpster?

...unless you're a vegan, in which case you would dine exclusively on fresh...

...tofu that is secretly...

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You have my most solemn and honourbound of vows that clicking this link will not direct you to a youtube video of a rick roll

... secreting secret Sucrets® (It’s All in the Tin™), a fine product that has a generous marketing program paying purveyours of potty humor to mention the amazing space technology that goes into every throat-saving ounce of the brand of cough, stuffiness, and sore throat relief that 4 out of 5 doctors agree will increase the size of your...

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

....prostate but up to 55% in the first month, unless used with....

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Poop.

....butter, which will toughen up the anus allowing you to continue your daily activities while....

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- 4 Reel

...attending skeetball events, the favorite past time of the Norwegan black metal vollyball champion Bjorn Vaferkalsteinastugucky the IIIrd, who loves to dine on the back bacon of leperchauns and...

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

...and pick his teeth with the failed dreams of inner-city retarded children is...

...really what you want to do, or maybe not, hell I don't know, it just makes me so gassy when...

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

... the pizza isn't cooked just right which is why I usually cook for myself, but sometimes it's a friend's birthday and I have to...

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

... climb to the top of the nearest pile of unshaven rhinoceroses, which sometimes is as far away as...

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"Old" is the old new.

...Richard Gere's house, who upgraded from small rodents when...

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Dinosaurs had eggs bro, the chicken came way later.

...I found this wonderful ad on Ebay for 5 dollars off a bucket of chicken at...

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

...a local KFC that had been shut down for 6 month after it was discovered that...

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

...the Burger King was caught with the Colonel on top of the buffet bar, which was a clear violation of...

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

... the internal game logic, which would hold you are a talented, highly trained assassin, yet you drown in 4 inches of water; an absurdity, given how much...

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

...fuckery was involved in the making of the movie Titanic, I mean, there was some SHIT that went down, buddy, like an orgy in the.......

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

... Orgy Room which, counterintuitvely, was NOT the place for orgies, but merely orgy planning; the room for orgies was actually called "Economic Logistics," which of course led to many a confused financial planner to accidentally (and with a quickly downturned glance and blush of the cheeks) reevaluate their life and decide to...

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

...FedEx their buttcheeks to Panama in a box stamped RETURN TO ENDER, which is a terrible pun considering...

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

...they are all part of secret lyrics in Taylor Swift's new album titled...

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

... something along the lines of...

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.