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Stripcreator » Comic Competitions » CC220: The Hollywood Edition

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flickguy
Senior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

I'm terribly sorry for being so late! There were production delays, and my stars decided to hate each other and wouldn't appear on camera together. Then the director walked off, and the writer wouldn't work with the new director... A nightmare for any Executive producer, really. I was at the end of my rope, but I couldn't tie the noose properly, so it broke and I'm alive.


It's been said that there are no more original ideas in the universe. What's worse, Hollywood has taken the best of them and re-used them until they're no better than horse manure.

Where am I going with this? I have no idea. I just found out I had to do this a few minutes ago, so bear with me.

Your mission is to play Hollywood by doing one of the following:

  • Re-make a classic strip. (This has been done with Cowboy Physics, so that one's off limits. I'm too lazy to look up the thread, too, so don't ask me.) Stand-alone comics only for source material, please.
  • Adapt a classic piece of literature into a stripcreator comic. Ah, hell. Contemporary fiction too. Be sure to let us know in your post which story you're referencing, because some of us (me) are too stupid to get it otherwise.
  • Adapt a movie into a comic. (Yeah, yeah, been done -- bite me!)
  • Create a sequel to one of your comics. Please include the comic in question for point of reference. Stand-alone comics only for source material, please.

Here's the catch: You must do this the Hollywood way. Big names, big explosions, and most importantly, you must cheapen your source material to the point where it's no longer special! (No, I don't quite know what that means, either.)

Series are welcome. Archived comics -- except as noted above -- are not.

Any questions? God, I hope not. I'm already confused enough.

(Strips will be judged early Friday evening or Late Friday night, depending on whether or not I think about it when I get home from work.)

---
This is not my empire.

11-11-03 4:09pm (new)
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areallystupidguy
Poison Gas Pokemon

Member Rated:

I hope this isn't against the rules, but I chose to remake one of MY comics. It's my first one, so it is very special even though it sucks ass. But that's what Hollywood's for! Now, with a little spit and polish, it is a thousand times funnier! ....Right?

The Old:

The Story with a moral (includes graphic gore and violence!) by areallystupidguy
1-14-03
The Story With a moral.
What a freak!
I heard that! Eat Stinger, jerkbag!
This sucks! Now i've got a big bleeding hole in my head. Again!
Adios, Amigos!
And so, we learn that making fun of people is bad, especially when they can beat you up!
Wow! this is the first time one of these crazy online comics have actually had a moral!
Let's hope it's the last time too.

The New:

A Story with a Moral (the remake) by areallystupidguy
11-11-03
starring some B-Movie actor!
gasp! the robot! so freakishly deformed! i must reach the main reactor or the earth is doomed!
*beeep* eat my spiky missle weapon, pitiful earth creature!
ARGH! THE PAIN! if i can only....reach the lever... THERE!
NOOOOO! BUT YOU WILL DIE TOO!
it is the sacrifice I must make... TO SAVE THE EARTH!
*cries*

---
It's grime time.

11-11-03 5:14pm (new)
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fzh
Stripcreator Regular

Member Rated:

I chose to make a sequel to my comic. The original comic was:

You wonder WHY Mikey's braindead? by fzh
7-15-03
MIKEY! We got a letter from the school about something! Probably something you did wrong, You're on restirction for another decade! Now go to your jail cell young man!
This says that the parking spaces in the school parking lot were widened.
Oh Well, as long as I'm here I can do something involving my imagination....
Three Weeks later....
Durrrrrrrrrrrrrr

The three part sequel is:

You wonder WHY Mikey's braindead? 2 the X-treme!!! by fzh
11-11-03
Mikey is replaced by a famous star. The movie starts with an overly dramatic jail break scene.
OH NO! I am trapped! By my accursed father! I must escape!
I shall trick the gaurds and then beat them to a fine pulp!
Hey! Look, a Duck!
Huh? Where?
Blarg!
Now, for my escape!

You wonder WHY Mikey's braindead? 2 the X-treme!!! by fzh
11-11-03
Needlessly violent beating up of guards.
Take that!
That hurts!
Mikey's dad, portrayed as a psycho robot of death, is developed as pure evil.
Kick the cat while it's not looking...
Sexy female costar, eventually leads to a gratuitous sex scene
Nice bulge.
Why thank you, and may I add that you have some nice tits?

You wonder WHY Mikey's braindead? 2 the X-treme!!! by fzh
11-11-03
Ending battle
I see you have arived, Mikey.
I have come to get revenge for you locking me in my room!
Mikey......I am your FATHER!!!!
NNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Hey, wait, I already knew that!
Overly Explosive Defeat
Oww!
Now you learn that putting your child on restriction never pays!

11-11-03 7:24pm (new)
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AccentuateNegative
Your Gay

Member Rated:

Here's my latest comic and the alternate ending only available on the dvd version:

Bon Apetit by AccentuateNegative
11-09-03
Can I get you anything else?
I need some more wasabi.
Yeah--me too.
Here you go--a buttload of wasabi.
(The waiter really said that.)
His butt could handle more wasabi than that.
Suddenly, I don't want any.

Bon Apetite--Alternate Ending by AccentuateNegative
11-11-03
Can I get you anything else?
I need some more wasabi.
Yeah--me too.
Here you go--a buttload of wasabi.
Wasabi is about the last thing I would want up my butt.
Oh, look who's picky all of a sudden.

11-11-03 7:26pm (new)
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Rabid_Weasle
Professional style cramper

Member Rated:

This is Hollywood's take on Death of a Salesman.

CC 220: Death of a Salesman by Rabid_Weasle
11-11-03
Starring: Vin Disel as Willy Loman
I'm a New England man! I live for this New England ****!
With Tara Reid as Linda Loman
C'mon baby, I may be worth more dead than alive. But right now I'm gonna make you feel like a whole lotta cash!
Coming Summer 2004!
A man is not a piece of fruit! But now you're a piece of toast!

---
Poop.

11-11-03 8:53pm (new)
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niteowl
Level 1 Forum Troll

Member Rated:

I chose to make a sequel...and then I couldn't stop making 'em, kinda like the Police Academy movies.

I made the original only 4 days ago though...hopefully that's not cause for disqualification.

The original :
The Start Of Deer Hunting Season by niteowl
11-08-03
Bye honey, have a good time. See you Sunday night. I'll miss you.
I'll miss you too. Bye dear.
Later...
Chippendale's? Ooh, I was gonna suggest that, Lisa!AND...we can hit the clubs afterwards, hit on the young studs and get free drinks!
Awesome! Julie, Michelle, and Tina are all coming with too. Remember last year? Oh my God, those guys we partied with were so hot!
Meanwhile...
I feel bad for her, sitting around the house all weekend with nothing to do.

And the follow-ups :
The Start Of Deer Hunting Season (2) by niteowl
11-11-03
After spending 11 hours in the forest, it becomes apparent that Mac is now hopelessly lost! Oh, the humanity!
Will I ever see my family again? My friends? I wish I was home.
ROWRRRRRRRRR!
SHIT. What the hell was that?
Then panic sets in.
Hello? Is anybody out there? Ok, I'm not really a hunter. I'm just uh...see? No guns here! HELP!

The Start Of Deer Hunting Season (3) by niteowl
11-11-03
Jesus, I'm hungry. There's no animals around to kill. What am I gonna do? Am I going to have to eat my own leg to survive???
I hope not, that's kinda gross. And kinda like a bad horror flick...Wait, what's that up ahead?
FINALLY! Don't ask for directions, you'll look like a moron. Don't ask for directions...
Hello there! Are you lost?

The Start Of Deer Hunting Season (4) by niteowl
11-11-03
Hi there. Uh, yes I am lost. Can you help me?
Why sure, just follow me!
Wow thanks. Boy, am I glad I met you.
So am I. And so are my friends.
Just what exactly did Mac see? Is he done for? Did he really go #2 in his pants? All these questions and more will be answered in the next comic!
Oh. My. God. OH MY GOD! AGHHHH!
GET HIM BOYS!

The Start Of Deer Hunting Season (5) by niteowl
11-11-03
Yes, Mac dropped off the Cosby Kids at the pool. Uh, not that his pants are a toilet bowl or anything...
OH SHIT! HELP!
THAT'S HIM, ONE OF THEM HUNTER FREAKS! Ewww, what's that smell?
Hey, now's no time for jokes!
Sorry. LET'S GET THAT BASTARD!
YEAH!

[Click to view comic: 'The Start Of Deer Hunting Season (6)']
[Click to view comic: 'The Start Of Deer Hunting Season (7)']

---
Think classy, you'll be classy.

11-11-03 10:10pm (new)
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Rabid_Weasle
Professional style cramper

Member Rated:

Wow, it was all a dream. Or was it!

---
Poop.

11-11-03 11:12pm (new)
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Kaddar
Captain Insano

Member Rated:

Old:

Saucy by Kaddar
10-26-02
So, do you like BBQ sauce?
GRANNY!

New:

SAUCY: IN A WORLD, WHERE BIRDS ARE NOT SAFE... ONE CAT.. by KaddarComps
11-12-03
So, do you like BBQ sauce?

Old:

Salaad.... by Kaddar
10-31-02
Please don't hurt me!
Salaaaad....
I'm sorry, what?
I'm a vegetarian zombie.

New #1:

COMPETATIVE COMIC TWO TWENTY! "Salad #2! BROTHER OF SALAD! by KaddarComps
11-12-03
brefgb....
Gah! A zombie!
bebgf
I'm sorry, what?
Beef...
****.

New #2:
The battle you've been waiting for.. JAY'S SON VERSUS ZOMBIE by KaddarComps
11-12-03
Brains!
What?
Your Brains are showing.
Oops! Forgot my wig!

11-12-03 8:11am (new)
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Kaddar
Captain Insano

Member Rated:

old:
I'm not lazy, just... busy. by Kaddar
1-06-03
Kaddar, you completely missed getting a chance to make a funny comic to bring us into the new year!
Let's play a little game.
The game is called "What's better." What's better? Timesplitters 2 all night tournaments ... or making a comic to bring in the new years?

had to do something with this, now that I've got a character.
CC220: The panalatrix must be seen with your own eyes. by KaddarComps
11-12-03
Kaddar, you completely missed getting a chance to make a funny comic to bring us into the new year!
Unfortunately! Yet it was I who realized that this world is a mere virtual construct to mask us from the real world! .... during the new years
"In fact, here's how my new year's went!"
Uploading data to you now.... Finished.
Whoa. I know kung fu!... and I'm not asian... incredible!
I am the Cartoonist of the panalatrix. I drew you in my likeness for reasons which you, a simple algorithmic intergral, cannot understand..
Nothing worse than a cartoonist who knows math..

11-12-03 8:17am (new)
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kramer_vs_kramer
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

Rear Window 2000 by kramer_vs_kramer
11-12-03
Gosh! That woman across the street is getting murdered!
Ahem!
Pop quiz, hotshot! There's a bomb on your wheelchair. If you go beneath 55 kilometres per hour, it'll go off! What do you do, hotshot? What do you do?

11-12-03 9:05am (new)
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kramer_vs_kramer
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

Jason vs Communism by kramer_vs_kramer
11-12-03
Jason, the president called. He wants to put you to work in Iraq, fighting off the communists for the good of the USA.
We trust you'll put your murderizing skills to good use in order to protect democracy, freedom and the pursuit of the American dream.
Yes. Just let me remove my mask and these disgusting rags.

11-12-03 9:33am (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

Cast in order of appearance: Sean Connery, Tom Cruise, Christopher Lloyd, Keanu Reeves, Ted Williams, John Wayne.

CC 220: Stripcreator and the Holy Grail by kaufman
11-12-03
STOP! Whoever crosseth the bridge of death must answer me these questions three ere the other side he see. What is your name?
I am Brad, King of Stripcreator.
What is your quest?
I seek the Holy Grail.
What makes time die?
Why, beer does.
CC 220: Stripcreator and the Holy Grail (2) by kaufman
11-12-03
What is your name?
Dr. Pedantic.
What is your quest?
I seek the Holy Grail.
What is the capital of Assyria?
Given that they were an ancient agrarian society, it would be absurd to think their capital would consist of anything other than oats and AIIIIIIIEEE!
CC 220: Stripcreator and the Holy Grail (3) by kaufman
11-12-03
What is your name?
I AM TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT!
What is your quest?
TOBOR SEEK CORNHOLEY GRAIL!!!
What is the average buttcheek dilation of an unladen swallow?
RAAAR!!!
CC 220: Stripcreator and the Holy Grail (4) by kaufman
11-12-03
What is your name? _______________ What is your quest? ____________ What is NOT another name for pocket billiards?
wirthling _______________ I seek the Holy Grail. ______________ Pool.
Whoooosh!!!
Oh, you said "not".
Bang!
CC 220: Stripcreator and the Holy Grail (5) by kaufman
11-12-03
What is your name? _______________ What is your quest? ____________ Why don't rotor turbines generate gravitons by themselves?
Cowboy 2 _______________ I seek the Holy Grail. ______________ What the **** are you talking about?
Huh? Well, I don't know.
AIIIIEEEEEE!

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

11-12-03 12:50pm (new)
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UnknownEric
and the Goblet of Mountain Dew.

Member Rated:

Unknown Eric: Adapting "classic literature" to the computer screen since 1975.
CC220: The Gospels (Abridged For Your Pleasure) by UnknownEric
11-12-03
You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone.
Shit.

---
I has a flavor!

11-12-03 2:46pm (new)
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Chi_The_Cynic
Comoedus Cynicalis

Member Rated:

A couple of awful films to begin with:

CC 220: Pearl Harbour by Chi_The_Cynic
11-12-03
I've loved you ever since the moment you stabbed me in the butt with your syringe, Kate Beckinsale! Let's stay together forever and ever
Well hello there, Ben Affleck!
Mr. Affleck is missing, presumed dead. Also, the Japanese are bombing Pearl Harbour, so you might want to take cover
Oh damn this war! I'll never love again *sniff*
I've loved you ever since my best friend introduced me to you, Kate Beckinsale! Let's stay together forever and ever
Well hello there, Josh Hartnett!

CC 220: Daredevil by Chi_The_Cynic
11-12-03
I am Daredevil! My super power is being able to see slightly better than other blind people
I am Elektra! I have no super powers and no real purpose in this movie whatsoever!
By day, I am a lawyer with morals who accepts vegetables in place of his legal fee
I have no alter ego... I'm not really a super hero at all, actually
I save the day by not killing the crime boss responsible for killing my father. This makes me the better person.
I die a horrible death, but will probably be resurrected in the inevitable sequel that nobody wants

And a piece of classic literature:

CC 220: Of Mice And Men by Chi_The_Cynic
11-12-03
I'm George, I travel from ranch to ranch with my big dumb friend Lennie
Stop that, Lennie, you're hurting me! *DIES*
You so pwetty, Curley's Wife
Another fine mess you've gotten us into, Lennie
I like da wabbits

---
The meaning of life | chithecynic@gmail.com

11-12-03 2:58pm (new)
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jes_lawson
I don't know what I'm doing either

Member Rated:

CC 220: Stripcreator and the Holy Grail (2): Un-Re-Pedant by jes_lawson
11-12-03
What is your name?
Dr. Pedantic.
What is your quest?
I seek the Holy Grail.
What is the capital of Assyria?
'A'.

---
Please replace the handset, and try again.

11-12-03 5:45pm (new)
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niteowl
Level 1 Forum Troll

Member Rated:

quote:
Wow, it was all a dream. Or was it!
Or maybe...
The Start Of Deer Hunting Season - Alternate Ending by niteowl
11-12-03
*Fade to black*
*Fade in*
Now that we nuked the world and eradicated those worthless humans, what do we do next?
I dunno. Let's go find our leader.
Meanwhile, in a bunker not far away...The evil mastermind behind the destruction of the world is revealed. Betcha didn't see this coming!
THE END! RAARRR!

---
Think classy, you'll be classy.

11-12-03 9:16pm (new)
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codehappykid
is mental

Member Rated:

This is from Flowers for Algernon, which is already a story and a Hollywood film, which is very nice and a great deal less horrendously stupid than this comic version in three episodes.

CC 220: Flowers for Algernon, Part I by codehappykid
11-12-03
GOD YOU'RE STUPID!
Yay! I love you guys!
We will make you as smart as this mouse! And women will love you!
But that mouse looks sick.
GOD YOU'RE STUPID!
Yes, but black holes emit Hawking radiation as a result of virtual particles interacting with their gravity well.

CC 220: Flowers for Algernon, Part II by codehappykid
11-12-03
I want to keep Algernon as a pet.
Now that the serum has made you highly intelligent, do you want to have sex in front of the cameraman?
ALGERNON IS DEAD!
*clowns lighten the mood at unexpected times*
I think you should have told me this would cause me to regress and die.
Are you saying you want a refund?

CC 220: Flowers for Algernon, Part III by codehappykid
11-12-03
I'm get less smart again.
I'm sad that you're going to die. My new boyfriend has a porsche.
One day, this may happen to YOUR planet!

---
HALPUU!

11-12-03 9:27pm (new)
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fzh
Stripcreator Regular

Member Rated:

I hope you don't mind a second entry. This time I chose to do a classic piece of literature.

CC220: Preview by fzh
11-12-03
Sexy proletarian women!
Bloody revolution against oppressors!
Karl Marx's Communist Manifesto!
In Theaters Summer 2004!

Note the hammer and sickle in the last frame.

11-12-03 10:10pm (new)
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Rabid_Weasle
Professional style cramper

Member Rated:

CC220: Do Eeeeeet To Me by Rabid_Weasle
11-12-03
Oh yeah! Oh yeah! That's it, do it to me baby, do it!
Yes yes! Oh yes! C'mon baby, tell me what I want to hear!
Baaaaa.
Animal Farm: Coming Summer 2004
That was wonderful...

---
Poop.

11-12-03 10:26pm (new)
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Chi_The_Cynic
Comoedus Cynicalis

Member Rated:

CC 220: The G****s of Wrath by Chi_The_Cynic
11-13-03
RAAA!
Grrr
Snarl!
Argh!
Zounds!
Roar!

---
The meaning of life | chithecynic@gmail.com

11-13-03 1:19am (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

CC 220: Fun for the whole family by kaufman
11-13-03
I did it! Our SUV now deploys wings and can fly and float!
Oh, papa, you're so wonderful.
I can't wait to go out on adventures and catch robbers and stuff.
Congratulations. I am so proud to be your wife.
Coming this Christmas: Chitty Chitty Gang Bang
Ok, admit it now that the kids are tucked in. You're just fixated on the Mile-High Club.
Darn tootin' right, I am! So call up your friends and wake the kids, this baby seats NINE.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

11-13-03 8:00am (new)
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mmyers
Passing through.

Member Rated:

CC220: About a Boy (if it were a summer movie) by mmyers
11-13-03
I'm Hugh Grant. I'm normally kind of stuffy but this time I'm a punk rock slacker. Plot Twist!
I'm a little boy who needs a father figure and by the way, you're my actual father! Plot Twist!
You think I'm poor but I'm actually rich! Plot Twist!
I double cross you and take your money! Plot Twist! And I'm not really your son! Three Plot Twists in one panel!
You become a decent guy, forgive me, then double cross me and take all the money back and all my money too. Triple Cross-Plot Twist!!
You reveal you might actually be my son, I get nominated for an Oscar because I reveal I'm Nicholas Cage. Backflip-Plot Twisting summersault!

---
Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

11-13-03 10:04am (new)
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mmyers
Passing through.

Member Rated:

This is my original comic from oh so long ago.
CC176:Mad Cow Disease by mmyers
3-17-03
I wish my teets sprayed whiskey.
Damn I'd be paid.

This is the sequel.
CC220: Sequel to Mad Cow disease by mmyers
11-13-03
Pink Donkey, I am here to grant you your wish of spraying whiskey from your teets. From this day forth, so shall it be.
*Gulp* *Gulp*
Sweet.

And here's the Hollywood remake. Tim Burton is the director.
CC 220: The Hollywood remake of Mad Cow disease by mmyers
11-13-03
I wish my teets sprayed whiskey.
Damn, I'd be...
Cut! There's no easy way to say this but, Pink Donkey, you're fired. Bring in his replacement.
So I'm supposed to be spraying whiskey from my nipples or something here? I think we should cut the Donkey bit and the teets, and I should be a Cuban drug lord with gold teeth.
Hey, you're Johnny Depp, it's your show.

CC 220: Mad Cow disease Hollywood Remake (2) by mmyers
11-13-03
I wish my teets sprayed whiskey.
Damn I'd be paid...and be an opium smoking detective.

---
Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

11-13-03 10:35am (new)
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MikeyG
Shoots the **** and often misses

Member Rated:

CC220: Gone With The Wind 2004 by MikeyG
11-13-03
Gone With The Wizzle: Starring Freddie Prinze Jr. and Sarah Michelle Gellar...
No way! Scarlett O'Hara! Awesome!
Oh, Tara! My Tara! Hey, where's Ashleigh?
...Selma Blair...
Oh, Ashleigh, there you are! Got any coke?
Oh my GOD! Your beautiful property burned down! Can you teach me how to make out?
...and Harvey Fierstein! Coming Summer 2004!!!
I thought Ashleigh was a guy in the original!
Not in THIS flick, muffinbottom, but I sure as hell am....

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic **** of revenge all over Canada.

11-13-03 2:23pm (new)
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smamurai
Too orangey for crows

Member Rated:

Teh original ->

Now that's a hot babe. by smamurai
10-16-03
Are there any recent mothers on the plane? I have always wanted to juggle 5 new-born babies.
Sure why not? I mean we're all going to die in about two minutes, we might as well enjoy a little cabaret. here, I have twins you can use. I'm sure others will help.
You guys are great. Now I have 5 babies, I can't believe I'm actually getting to live out my dream.
Have fun with it. Start the show already.
Also does anyone have any lighter fluid?
Now that's just sick.

Hollywood re-make ->

Smokin' Bitch! You Don't Have to Fakey it Tonight! by smamurai
11-14-03
This is your stewardess speaking. The pilots have been decapitated and the steering mechanism has locked. Are there any Pro-skateboarders on the plane?
I used to be Pro, before the incident. If only you saw the look on those mothers faces. I will never skateboard again.
I heard about that, it was a tough break. Kids died. But you used to be the best and now you have the chance to save some kids. Only you have the balancing skills to ride this plane down safely.
Damn *****! You is smokin gurl! Ok everybody take your seats and do exactly as I say. If I lean to the left or right try to copy my moves as best as you can. Woman, you best find someplace safe to sit
You did it Champ! A lot of people would like to say a big thanks to you, including me.
I feel like I can Pro-skate again. And now, if you would like to take that bra off and come over here....... I got me some babies to juggle.

---
GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for ***s.

11-14-03 8:18am (new)
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