The theme here is a simple one: Make a comic about failed ambitions, bad career moves, plans gone awry. Keep it germaine to work, occupations, or business.

No photoshopping since I don't know how to do that, so you all must hobble your creative tools to my level of inability. :- )

Any background or character set is acceptable, no odd spelling or phrase rules, just go out there and be funny.

Judging will take place on Tuesday night.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Cool. Maybe I can rummage through my old ones and find some!

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"You don't scare me with your silly knees bent running about advancing behavior."-Monty Python

Well, no old ones...

CC 59:Bill Gates...At last a mistake... by Deisel 9-02-01

BILL GATES!!?? OUR STOCK IS COMING DOWN! WE CAN'T KEEP UP WE LOSING FAST! Uh-Huh MICROSOFT IS GOING DOWN!! ARE YOU LISTENING!!? Lovely good... I'm off! YES! At last I made a mistake! shame about me losing my $17000340605630 though...

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"You don't scare me with your silly knees bent running about advancing behavior."-Monty Python

you suck

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Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

yeah, yeah, yeah...

Heres 2 parter

CC59: Mornin' No.1 by Deisel 9-02-01

I just started my own buisness! Whats it called?! Well...it's called Shag co. Mom said... To be continued... I know I know... No more hookers in the house!

no.2

CC59:Mornin' No.2 by Deisel 9-02-01

Part 2 Now...what for tea... Hi mom good mornin! Gabes bedroom... Aw...nooo! I Knew I shoudn't of said to them "Do your stuff 'till you drop!" Bad news boss...Kate and Mary have quit...taking the money with them Hi mom Bads mornin'... Me too..my hair is all fucked up on the left side!

They ARE different comics but the name is the same...

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"You don't scare me with your silly knees bent running about advancing behavior."-Monty Python

Dunno if this one counts but here we go

No Windows by Deisel 8-11-01

HI I'm from Pivvett-Glazing Co. and I was just wondering if you'd like to purchase... Sorry, no windows Boy, Thats a new one.

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"You don't scare me with your silly knees bent running about advancing behavior."-Monty Python

I hope no one but Deisel and me enter. Then I may stand a slight chance of winning.
I have made myriad comics about William Hague and Michael Portillo's prospects after the general election, but there are good odds bunnerabb doesn't hail from the UK and may not get them.

137'5 d0 1unch by andydougan 8-05-01

Russell Crowe, Oscar-winning ac-tor Computer animation is all the rage these days! I could end up out of work! Don't worry. Even assuming computer-generated films ever acheive photo-realism, they'll still need people to do the voices. A small consolation, but I still won't get to show off my pecs! Hey, you two! Guess who's been signed up to star in Gladiator 2?

Not very good. But I'll make a new one later which will split your sides.

OK; can I just submit my [u]entire life[/u] as an entry?

Here's an old one in case the pain of my own bitter recrimination prevents me from coming up with anything better before the deadline:

Life of Tyler, Episode I by itsclark 7-03-01

Tyler confronts his past in the bluntest possible sense: Let's see if I've got this straight. You're ME, only from the FUTURE! That's right. I came back in this time machine. Wow! So what's it like to be Future Me? Well, I work as a night watchman at the lab that built this thing. I've been divorced twice, and I'm up to my neck in alimony. You're saying I should just off myself now? Hmm... better not. It might create a paradox.

Hey -- one of Deisel's comics is actually funny! He's been holding out on us!

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

CC 59: Chatting with Jesus by crabby 9-02-01

Maybe this whole savior thing isn't the way to go.

Snkkkkt.

The more good stuff I see from you, the more annoyed I am with you for keeping it from us behind that facade of idiocy.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

quote:

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Hey -- one of Deisel's comics is actually funny! He's been holding out on us!

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McDisappointed by apejuice 9-03-01

so then after university i landed a job with a music magazine as a graphic designer, which was great at first . . but i yearned for a more flexible medium for my work. so that's when i started to learn a little HTML, java etc and set up my own web design business . . . . and extra fries and a chocolate donut, please. did he say a coke or diet coke?

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I LIVE!

CC 59: Thinking and Drinking by itsclark 9-03-01

You know, I wasn't always a drunken, embittered shell of a human being. In fact, what I really wanted to be was a children's entertainer. Really? How did that work out? Say, any of you kids ever been through a messy divorce? Trust me... the difference between a tick and a lawyer is that the tick falls off when you die! Mommy! Make him stop! Come to think of it, I guess I always was a drunken, embittered shell of a human being. Here's to finding your niche!

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

I'll toss this old one into the mix until I can come up with a new one...

Disney World's least favorite theme park... by wirthling 5-27-01

What the hell are you supposed to be? Some kind of hippie scarecrow? No, I'm Jesus Christ, your savior. Welcome to Salvation Land, little girl! Oh... Are there any cool rides in Salvation Land?? Um, no, but we do have bible study classes and a swell christian choir! Salvation Land sucks. I can't wait 'til they promote me to Goofy...

That should count under 'bad career move,' I think.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

A Day in the Life of Ruprict vol 1. no 1. by NastyPope 3-05-01

*SIGH* I just got fired from my job at the women's health clinic They said I was deviant, perverted, morally reprehensible, a threat to Females everywhere, and that I smell like cheese. Maybe I should'nt have told them I'm easily arroused by maxipad commercials.

It sorta fits the rules.

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

Captain Colostomy and the Case of the Missing Sphincter by ObiJo 9-03-01

Hey. I hope you think about the error of your ways while in prison. I will Captain Colostomy. Thanks for listening. Hey. Ah, a peaceful and uncompacted world. I wish all days would end like this. HEY! You gonna stand there daydreaming all day?! You still need to clean the shit off the walls in the girls bathroom. Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.

Hmm...

I'm...

Hmm...

Oh screw it, call this my entry.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

CC 59: Unemployment Line by kaufman 9-03-01

New legislation a month into the Seuss administration aims at cutting down on unemployment claims. I can't help you, I am sorry, unless you give me a rhyming story. Those liars say my productivity slips, if I'm online all day drawing comic strips. The nudes I sent my boss were getting hotter and hotter, but the last batch, I fear, featured his high school daughter. As Justice of the Peace I felt duty-bound, to pronounce one couple "man and hound." Flight attendant wasn't a good choice, I'm now understanding, not if you shriek every takeoff and landing. My bartending career seems out of reach, though I now know White Russians aren't made with bleach.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

This is getting good.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

CC 59: The Pink Slip by wirthling 9-04-01

You're home early! Yeah, I got fired. Fired?! What happened? I came out of the closet. You finally told them that you're NOT gay? Yeah. Apparently, there's no place for a heterosexual man in the cast of Riverdance...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

And of course ...

CC 59: At least you get clean uniforms by kaufman 9-04-01

I think I've finally figured out why it's called Wash & Wash Millenium Wash. BECAUSE THEY PAY YOU ONCE EVERY THOUSAND YEARS!!!!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC-LIX - Jobs that are better if you are a bastard... by DexX 9-04-01

ISP help-desk operator... I don't know what the problem is! As far as I know, I didn't change anything, but yesterday I could get my email, and today it just won't connect... I recognise this problem. I encounter it quite frequently. You see, the problem lies in your SHRIVELLED, USELESS, LITTLE BRAIN! *clunk!* Ah, time for lunch... Parking inspector... But... but... I was working frantically to restart an old man's heart! Correction - you were working frantically to restart an old man's heart while parked across a driveway! Here's your ticket. Bank lending manager... ...but you can't foreclose! We were only forty-five cents short on the repayment! My weekly paycheck was deposited five minutes later! I have seven children - you can't do this! I'm dreadfully sorry, but you seem to have confused me with someone who gives a fuck.

Doesn't quite fit into the rules, but hey...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Got offlined on Monday, and almost missed this one. Here's a strip from waaaay back when I was still... funny.

The new gal by NeoVid 3-05-01

I think with one more character, we should be able to cover any joke I think of. Oh man... I get nervous around women. Hello. Have you worked here long? Eep. She likes me. Don't say something stupid, don't say something stupid... He's getting that look I don't like... Wow! Nice rack! Can I play with it? I could've taken that job at the waste disposal plant, but noooo...

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

I hope someone besides me gets this. by crabby 9-04-01

Oh no, it's a bum. What should I do? He saw me looking at him I can't just walk away now. Here ya go buddy. I'm not a bum I'm Corey Feldman.

Don't know if this follows the rules but oh well.

CC 59: Master stripper by BigEvilDan 9-04-01

So what do you do, exactly? I run a website that allows people to design their own comics about donkey sodomy. No, seriously. Hey, it looked good on paper.

Brad's still number one in my book, though.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

CC59 - Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be... by andydougan 9-04-01

Congratulations! The job's yours! Thank you, boss! I can promise you, I'll be the hardest-working traffic warden on the force! I won't let the grass grow under my feet! Funny, I could've sworn I left the car here... Sir, you overran the metred time by two minutes. I've had your car towed away and impounded. Well, looks like you were right about the grass. Ho ho!