Videogame Cliche by areallystupidguy 5-16-04

dude, there's so many lame videogame cliches. i know. its stupid. where's the originality, people? hm, i cant really think of any really important cliches at the moment. me neither. to get this comic's alternate ending, read through it again with the omega sword and the uldarig crystal.

all you fellow gamers out there will no doubt share my frustration.

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It's grime time.

Ha ha ha!!! That's awesome. Here's one from me:

Video Game Cliches by MikeyG 5-16-04

Here I am at the final boss! At last! Blah Blah Blah you will never know your true past! 20 hours later... Have at thee! Aaaauuuggghhh! I'm really your son from the future! You now have the Ultra Extreme Wand of Ultimate Ultimateness that hits everything for 9999 points. Wait a second...I had to play this game for 200 hours with a PLUNGER and now I get the cool weapon AFTER I've won?

It's not very funny, true, but it's the truth.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

hahaha, i hate it when games do that.

Videogame Cliche 2 by areallystupidguy 5-16-04

man, i sure wish i could think of some videogame cliches. there are a ton of them, i just can't think of any. Fortunately, the interesting, plot-developing dialogue has been interrupted to bring you an explosion! people LOVE explosions! we're not fitting into the 15-year old male demographic. time for more explosions.

Videogame Cliche 3 by areallystupidguy 5-16-04

uh, where'd the other guy go? forget that loser! i'm BADASSICAL FISH, i'm packed with 'tude, and i'm damn ready to start another lame platformer series! i said damn! i'm edgy!

Videogame Cliche 4 by areallystupidguy 5-16-04

Badassical Fish, the numbers are in. your new game only sold 4 copies in it's first 2 months. you suck. so, what's our profit? we owe sony 600,000 dollars. oh my god! quick, put "matrix" in the title! we've sold 2 million copies already! i love the videogame industry!

Videogame Cliche 5 by areallystupidguy 5-16-04

bad news, this comic can't hold the interest of the average viewer. what's that mean? well, we're keeping you on the air, but some serious changes are going to have to be made. oh, anything! it's always been my dream to do this comic! say, would you like me to slowly feed you strawberries while i rub tanning lotion all over your hot body? okay, but don't miss a spot! *giggle*

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It's grime time.

areallystupidguy, you can always get to MY heart with lesbians.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

What I Think Of Today's Video Games by biped 5-16-04

GIMME THOSE VIDEO GAMES!!! AAAHH!!! NO!!! HA HA!!! I'M TAKING A BIG, STEAMING SHIT ON ALL OF YOUR VIDEO GAMES!!! HAHA-HA HAA!!! NO, DAD!!! NO!!! HA HA!!! HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR PRECIOUS VIDEO GAMES NOW, SON!!! OH, WAAAH!!! BOO-HOO!!! I HATE YOU, DAD!!! WAAAAH!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Holy shit, this was brilliant. The whole series is brilliant, actually. Bravo, arsg!

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

EA Sports. It's in the Game. by niteowl 5-16-04

Look at that, you checked me and I did a triple somersault, crashed through the glass, landed on some hottie's lap, and her top came off! This NHL game is so realistic! Dude, You've completed 56 of 57 passes for 1,245 yards and 12 TDs! That's ALMOST a record! Madden NFL is so realistic! Man, you just lapped the entire field 5 times, without changing your tires or refueling! Dude, this NASCAR game is oh-SO realistic!

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

I like video games, but I also like these comics. The first one is my favorite.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Video game cliches by habnem 5-16-04

Uggh... After 35 hours of chasing me, finally you have defeated me. Truly, your skill is greater than I thought it was. As I lay here taking a long time to die, I am filled with regret... That damned sorcerer Farnabulus has been controlling my mind, and making me perform acts of severe and unspeakable evil. If only I could have resisted... Hold on--Farnabu-who now? You know, Farnabulus. The real villain. Perhaps you've never heard of him, but you need to start hating him; you have about two more hours until the final battle.

Video game cliches 2 by habnem 5-16-04

For so long, I've been raised to be a proper princess and secluded from the outside world. If only there were a motley gang of loveable miscreants who could show me the world or something. Huh? Hi. Me and my band of thieves are going to take out the evil sorcerer Farnabulus. Wanna come?

Video game cliches 3 by habnem 5-16-04

I, Farnabulus, was already the most powerful sorcerer in the world, but that wasn't enough. The rage and greed in my soul transformed me into the creature you see before you, but it was worth it... I finally found a way to collapse the space-time continuum so that I can be the ruler of all ages. Unfortunately, it will cause all life as we know it to blink out of existence, but I will be a GOD! I would explain more, but the more I talk, the less it will make sense. Ehh, your plan doesn't have to be plausible, as long as it sounds evil enough.

Video game cliches 4 by habnem 5-16-04

I can't believe the evil sorceror Farnabulus turned out to be my father, the King of Kespea. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you haven't been on a lot of adventures before. Am I right?

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

An old one, but fitting I guess -

The Customer is Always Bored. by smamurai 11-19-03

Shopkeeper -62 banter pts : Frobo teh 1337 skillz pts Good day to you sir. What would you like to do today? Buy, Sell or talk about the same old useless shit again? Yeah, I was in here earlier and I think I must have put two vials of elf-gunk in my shopping basket by mistake. You see I only really needed the one. Shopkeeper -59 banter pts : Frobo teh 1337 skillz pts That's not a problem sir, I can take that unwanted elf-gunk off your hands. How does 2000 groinks sound? 2000 groinks? But I just bought them from here two minutes ago for 10,000 groinks apiece Shopkeeper -60 banter pts : Frobo teh 1337 skillz pts So fucking sue me. Would you like to talk about how I don't know where the dragon is again? Or maybe you would like to buy more elf-gunk. Man I really want to fucking kill you, but for some reason I seem to forget how to fight and cast spells every time I am in this shop.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

niteowl's EAsports comic made me simultaneously laugh and nod in understanding. EA's NHL games suck my weiner. The only things EA does better than Sega is baseball and college football. Well, and soccer, but that's only by default...

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I has a flavor!

the best sports games ever were NBA Jam for Sega and Wayne Gretzky's 3D Hockey for N64

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xx( o Y o. )xx

I agree...MVP Baseball is pretty good. Only part I hate is my kids kicking my ass at it. Never played NCAA though.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

I lost all faith in EA Sports after EA football 2003 (EA Soccer to you americans)

I played a full season of the premiership through, and lo and behold at the end of the season it told me three teams had been relegated (fair enough), then it told me the names of the teams that had been promoted to take their place;

London
Wolverhampton
Leicester

quote:

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I played a full season of the premiership through, and lo and behold at the end of the season it told me three teams had been relegated (fair enough), then it told me the names of the teams that had been promoted to take their place;

London
Wolverhampton
Leicester

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I actually just sold that on half, because it was a severe disappointment to me. I'm not sure what they did to it, but it was approximately 231% less fun than the previous editions.

So I'm stuck playing World Cup 2002 until a better game comes out.

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I has a flavor!

My contribution:

If real life were like a video game... by mmyers 5-21-04

When relationships ended, you'd unlock new objects. Since our relationship has come to an end, you have unlocked *BLOWJOB*. The next time that we go out, you may use the *BLOWJOB* option. Man, it's almost worth going back out with you again. There would be mysterious doors everywhere that are always locked because you overlooked the key. Henry, what the hell do you think is behind that door? I bet it's a missile launcher, or maybe a belt sander. I have a grenade launcher, a flame thrower, and a machine gun and I can't manage to open that damn door with them. Strongest door I've ever seen, by golly. At the end of every day you'd have to fight a mini-boss, and every year, the big boss. Now explain it to me once more, really slow this time. I was walking to my car and he was waiting there throwing fire balls, so I jumped on a turtle and threw it at him three times, and then he died.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

The Lighter Side of Videogame Cut Scenes by niteowl 5-21-04

This has got to be the longest cut scene ever in a video game. You got that right. And pushing a button doesn't fast forward past this shit. We gotta sit through the whole thing! This sucks. 1 hour later. Did I just see Bruce Willis in a dress run through the scene? Yep. Man, I hate these war games.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.