FTC 49: Template by SpideyChris 12-17-04

I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear. Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret!

What will Neal say? It's up to you to decide! It's like a Choose Your Own Adventure book, only with five metric tons less suck.

You can do anything you want with the second half of panel 2, as well as anything for the last panel. I'm keeping it loose, seeing as this is only my second time I've won the chance to host one of these.. Which means I can successfully be bribed and bought off.

Just, you know, throwing that out there... Is all... Yeah...

Contest closes sometime Christmas Day.

Stuff I'm supposed to post:
HOSTS! Read this first.
Awards List (Paste at judging)

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Use your weapons, they are designed to inflict damage!

ftc 49 by dcomposed 12-18-04

I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear. Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret! I already know you're black, silly. Oh.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Hahaha this is like when ObiJo would enter before me, thus rendering my entry pointless. Damn you dcomposed.

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"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"

I'll be away from my usual internet connection until early in January. Going home to visit the folks.

FTC 49: Surprise, surprise by quodlibet 12-18-04

I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear. Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret! I know you're black already, silly! Actually, I'm just a waiter here at the truck stop, and we're not allowed to accept, er, 'favours' for meals any longer. I thought the clientele looked a little...informal.

FTC 49: Rubber gloves are a girl's best friend by quodlibet 12-18-04

I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear. Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret! You know I love you, regardless of what you've done, or how terrible it is. Please, Neal, tell me. I bust my credit card on my other girl, so I told these nice waiters that you'd wash dishes for our meal tonight. Uhm...

FTC 49: ...we're a hap-py fam-il-y! by quodlibet 12-18-04

I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear. Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret! What's that? I was the man -- and the voice -- behind Barney the purple dinosaur. Oh GOD. I knew you were too good to be true. Stay away from me, you freak!

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If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.

Are you reading Iain M. Banks, quodlibet?

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

FTC #49: That's Like Something I Would Do! by The_Kingpin 12-18-04

I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear. Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret! What is it? Actually, I don't. I just wanted to get some suspense going.

FTC 49: The Big Surprise by biped 12-18-04

I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear. Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret! Darling, nothing you say could possibly -- HEE HAW!!! ME REALLY DOG ON BALL!!! SHUT UP, BUTTFACE!!! BOING-BWOING!!!

FTC 49: Meals On Heels by biped 12-18-04

I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear. Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret! SLURP! YUM-YUM, HER TASTED GOOD! YUMMY BLOOD AND MEAT AND CHEWY BONES! OH, MY GOD, YOU ATE HELEN! YOU FUCKING BASTARD! Me was HUNGRY! But don't worry -- ME will mate with you now!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

FTC 49: What is Neal's Secret? by fpd 12-18-04

I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear. Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret! Is it that you're strong enough for a man but made for a woman? You know I'm made for a woman, baby. That's no secret. You could've fooled me the way you were flirting with our waiter. Tonight was sure romantic for you two, which is why I was saying you shouldn't have.

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FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

FTC 49: Get Ya Game On by Zaster 12-18-04

I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear. Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret! Why always me? I am the great and terrible Lorgon, 26th level half-elf cleric of Baphomet! I'll catch a cab home.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

ok why were they having dinner on the moon?

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Batman created by Bob Kane

FTC 49: 'Tits the Season by Zaster 12-18-04

I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear. Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret! If I stare any harder at those bodacious milk wagons, my eyeballs are going to burst out of my head! I thought you were just surprised alot.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

I was wondering that myself. They sure could've picked a place with more atmosphere.

Get it? Because there's no "atmosphere" on the moon.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I was wondering that myself. They sure could've picked a place with more atmosphere.

Get it? Because there's no "atmosphere" on the moon.

Fuck you.

"No, fuck YOU! Fuck YOU!!!"

-- Robert DeNiro, RAGING BULL

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

After looking at the third panel of your comic I laughed. Than what followed the laugh was sacrificing virgins, dancing naked in the woods, and dranking goats blood. You know, for fun and shit.

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Get Your War On

FTC 49: Frogofooey by Zaster 12-19-04

I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear. Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret! I don't want to hear it. But it's about... LA-LA-LA-LA-LA, I'M NOT LISTENING! LA-LA-LA-LA!

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

FTC 49: But I have a Range Rover... by Zaster 12-19-04

I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear. Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret! Here we go... I'm a desperado with a bounty on my head and a string of misdeeds to my name. My only friends are my six-shooter and my horse! Neal, you're an assistant office manager. You work in a cubicle!

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

FTC 49: Farging Barstages by Zaster 12-19-04

I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear. Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret! Well, whatever it is I'm sure we can... Oh no, it's too late! I'm... changing! Run Diane, run! Agh, a were-pirate!

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

It's a Dali painting.

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Dinosaurs had eggs bro, the chicken came way later.

FTC 49- uh, hello? by xxausrottenxx 12-23-04

I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear. Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret! and she just dissapeared? I thought this was supposed to be an interesting dream well, what was interesting was even though she wasn't real, I could stil see her nipples through her sweater

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xx( o Y o. )xx

FTC 49: Who Cares? by not_Scyess 12-24-04

I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear. Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret! Fuck. They never stick around for the dark secret.

FTC 49: Who Dunnit by not_Scyess 12-24-04

I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear. Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret! I really did it, then planted a fake glove on the scene. Dammit! I thought you looked uncannily like OJ Simpson.

FTC 49: National Socks by not_Scyess 12-24-04

I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear. Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret! You undertipped the waitress by 4%? Okay, so maybe "dark secret" was a little bit of an exaggeration. This reminds me of the time you wore the wrong socks and called it a "national crisis".

FTC 49: Bright Ideas about Secrets by not_Scyess 12-24-04

I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear. Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret! Gosh, Neal! I don't think I can handle it! Maybe we should just start with my dim secret. I don't know... maybe we'd better start with your indirectly lit secret.

FTC 49: I Just Wanted an Excuse to Use the Word "Cockapoo." by not_Scyess 12-24-04

I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear. Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret! No! I must tell you mine first... I'm really... A COCKAPOO! Actually, this makes mine seem kind of insignificant. Mind if I hump your leg?

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Jinx! by possums 12-24-04

I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear. Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret! I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret! WHAT?! JINX!!!