Boast about your achievements here, and look like a total dick in the process!

I have memorized over 100 eighties pop songs, making me the greatest karaoker of all time.

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It's grime time.

I have a special videotape collection, which I taped myself on nine fully-packed tapes, of all the Brady Bunch episodes, including all the TV-movies, both feature films, all available documentaries, the pilot episode of "The Brady Bunch Variety Hour", the complete "Brady Brides" episodes, two TV-movies compiled from episodes of the serio-comic series "The Bradys", and other assorted stuff. I guess you might say it's one of the greatest Brady Bunch collections in the entire world.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I have wanked a total of 1034 times.

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Poo perhaps?

I graduated from college without actually knowing anything.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

I've downloaded, catagorized, and sorted over 40 gigabites of music, mostly obscure english progressive rock.

I'm well on my way to that.

I get to drive a new Mustang GT this summer because my Pops owns a Ford dealership.

I'm well on my way to that.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

I have socks on. Dress socks.

I'm good at raping dead bodies and family pets!

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

I watched the Sci-Fi channel from the first day of operation and know the very first thing played on said channel.

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

I came in 11th place in my county's bi-annual shuffle board tournament.

I have tits. I win.

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dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

PhreakyChinchilla shagged me.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I passed the Jeopardy! test a couple weeks ago.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

OH MY GOD! YAY! When will you be on?

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dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

I passed a Ford on the freeway two weeks ago (i was running).

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Yes, but are they as big as Dolph Lundgren's?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Yes, but are they as big as Dolph Lundgren's?

Maybe. I haven't felt him up to see if he's wearing a push-up bra or not.

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dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

My girlfriend has bigger tits than Dolph Lundgren. Yes I know it's unusual for a girl's breasts to be over 6'6" but hey, I'm not complaining.

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"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"

One morning I heard what I thought was thunder, but when I got out of bed the sun was shining. Then I turned on the TV and there was a live shot of NASA mission control, and the newsguy was saying "They still haven't reestablished contact with the shuttle." So I realized I'd just heard the space shuttle Columbia explode.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I have a really really big p**** wait let me take the stars out.... plant.

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I dumb :D

I failed the Jeopardy! test a couple years ago.

Okay, let the "Choad's a dumbass" storm commence.

I am wearing underwear in two colors right now.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

I am wearing Noonie's underwear right now.

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Poop.