Security Meets ET

Wear the RED shirt, she told me this morning. You look GREAT in red she said.

by BobRogers, 10-20-05

Thanks to Everyone who is making and making available new characters. My God! There must be a million trekies on SC alone...

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"I intend to live forever -- so far, so good."

That is awesome.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

It would be great if everyone would post their Trek comics here.

Hopefully they will be better than this one...

Ellison Blunderland by Smarmulus 10-21-05

Edith Keiller must die! Goddamnit that's not in the script I wrote. Harlan, Gene was upset about the references to drugs so he rewrote the script. Goddamnit. After he dies I am going to trash him in print. And I'll tell everyone about Shatner's wig. For some reason I am not detecting any signs of intelligent life.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

This HAD to have happened once or twice by HCRoyall 10-21-05

Cap'n! We're detectin' hostiles! We need ta get ya out o' there! Belay that, Mr. Scott! I have everything under control. So, what say you slip into something more comfortable? How's this, loverboy? Oh dear GOD! SCOTTIE! BEAM ME UP! BEAM ME UP!!

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Good one Royal. You easily bested me on your first try.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Blooper Reel by kaufman 5-15-01

Dammit, Jim, I'm gonna kill Scotty when we get beamed back up. Never mind that, Bones, Yeoman Rand is toast. This wouldn't have happened if she'd washed our other uniforms so we didn't have to wear red! And wait till Spock gets a load of us. His pointy ears aren't so big any more, are they! Uh, Bones, I'm sorry, but this is my contractual obligation ... No, Jim, you can't! Sorry, Bones, you know the rules, I get to seduce the hot alien-looking creature.

CC 135: To Baldly Go by kaufman 8-07-02

Space, the final frontier... "Don't fuck the green bitch." They gave me that warning in Academy, Starfleet included it in their orders, even Spock and McCoy told me not to. Well, I'm the Captain. It's ... my shore leave. And ... I am going to ... fuck the green bitch. What could happen? Captain, what happened to your hair? Stow it, Uhura.

CC 273: The Trouble with Traffickers by kaufman 1-21-05

Yo, Mike! I think there's something wrong with this Star Trek tape. Listen to the Vulcan. CAAAAPTAAAIIN, THAAAT IIS MOOOOOST ILLLLOOOGICAAAAL. Oh, no, there isn't any problem. In order to comply with the Americans with Disabilities Act, they let a couple of wheelchair-bound Trekkies write this episode. As it turned out, those geeks got really stoned when they wrote it, and they thought it would be hilarious if Leonard Nimoy spoke in the deepest voice he could manage. Ah, so the sound that I'm hearing is only the sound of the low Spock of high wheeled boys?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

A long time before we had these characters, I did these...

CC-LXX: ...where every nameless ensign has gone before. by DexX 10-06-01

Wow, my first away misson! Cool! Strange... my Triscancordomatic is detecting lif- GWAAARRRR!!!! Captain! A Globdublan Mucus Beast just ate Ensign... uh, Ensign... Who? Did someone say the ensign has been eaten already? Wow, forty-eight seconds. That's got to be a record.

CC-LXX - ...to explore new, uh, "areas"... by DexX 10-06-01

Ambassador Hoh't Bey'b, it is an honour to have you aboard my shag... SHIP! My ship! *ahem* It is an honour to be here, captain. As official respresentative of the Nymphohorny Empire, I thank you for your hospitality. If you would just follow me to the bed... BRIDGE! The bridge of the ship, I will introduce you to my cunnilingus... CREW! My crew! Yes... crew. Is something wrong, captain? My OmniTerpreter is indicating some interference in your speech patterns... I can't believe he is trying to get into the pants of another alien woman... Ehh, better than green woman with eight breasts he did last time. That sentient genital rash was NASTY!

CC-LXX: Space, advertising's final unsolicited frontier... by DexX 10-08-01

So, what happened to that guy who- ***HOLOPORN!!! Cum and see my holographic Zebrogynian whores!!! Now available in the HoloWhatzit. 20 credits.*** ***HOLOPORN!!! Cum and see my holographic Zebrogynian whores!!! Now available in the HoloWhatzit. 20 credits.*** I'm just fixing this- ***HOLOPORN!!! Cum and see my holographic Zebrogynian whores!!! Now available in the HoloWhatzit. 20 credits.*** ***HOLOPORN!!! Cum and see my holographic Zebrogynian whores!!! Now available in the HoloWhatzit. 20 credits.*** Now, Ensign, you've been warned before about using the CommLinks to send porn spam to the crew...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Shatner by squabies 10-21-05

Can't..................... takeitanylonger. What? iiiiiiii need. food. or I'll. diehereonthis... godforsakenplanet. What? KHAAAAN!!!

I made this series, don't know how bad it sucks won't waste your time by posting them individually

Startrip

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I dumb :D

More Trek comics please... here's an excellent classic for inspiration...

Now it all makes sense! by fuzzyman 10-18-01

You know, when you used that anti-gravity generator to walk across the water, that was great! Uh... thanks, but... And when you used the portable replicator to produce those loaves and fishes... that was brilliant! Yes, I know, but... Congratulations, Commander Riker! You've restored the timeline! Dammit, Geordi, get me down from here!

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

The Adventures Of Message Board Dave Part 335 by BobRogers 10-24-05

That's an odd sound. Live long and prosper, Earth Man Three blocks down and two to the right. It says "Convention Center" on the front. Thanks... Third one today.

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"I intend to live forever -- so far, so good."

That was another great one Bob.

And here's another I came across.

Transport Her by choadwarrior 10-20-05

What name do you want to call me again? Yeoman Rand...are you ready for the captain's log? Ooh, baby...show it to me. Then you gotta get in here and look at it. I felt like I was giving birth.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Gingerly by matclarke 10-25-05

What the hell isth wrong with you?! Tamn it Jim, I jutst cant get it to work! You hath to be real ginger like! I'm being asth ginger as possthible! Yikes! This assth probe needs to be turned down a notch or two.

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obscenity filter is off

A Tribute To James Doohan by biped 7-20-05

SCOTTY! IS THE TRANSPORTER REPAIRED YET? EMERGENCY! WE NEED TO BEAM UP NOW! THIS PLANET'S ABOUT TO EXPLODE! Oh, AYE! She's jury-rigged up a real treat (HIC!) Beamin' ye oop faster 'n' ah kin fahrt "Lum Hat Wantin' The Croon"! (FRRRT!) Scotty, you BASTARD! I'll GET you for this, you ALKY DICKHEAD!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Choadwarrior is getting me in trouble at home. My wife is very irritated by my constant references to the captain's log. That strip kills!

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

CC 302: Keep on Trekkin by NeoVid 10-27-05

People always wondered where the Enterprise's bathrooms were. Yeah, I have myself. Well, on the Next Generation, there was just one, and it was right in the middle of the ship. Huh.... So that's why they hated separating the saucer section!

Some strips are just way funny.

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"I intend to live forever -- so far, so good."

HARASSMENT!?!?! not on MY U.S.S Enterprise!!!!

Now, what EXACTLY did Captain Kirk say to you? He said... he said he wanted to go warp speed.... into my.. my swampy atmosphere.

by TheBigJE, 10-27-05

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We built this siggy.... on rock and rooooooll

another great one from Kaufman

And the Children Shall Bleed

Finally, one day, Shatner just snapped. Phasers on "Frag the Trekkie."

by kaufman, 10-24-05

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

You just made my crotch area damp like a freshly dunked sponge.

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Don't like it? Eat me.

Out in Space by kaufman 10-28-05

Mr. Sulu, ahead warp 4. ... Mr Sulu? ... Computer, locate Lieutenat Sulu. Lieutenant Sulu is outside the ship. Scotty, what's Mr. Sulu doing with the warp nacelle? Why isn't one of your engineers working on it? I dunno, Cap'n. I dinna authorize any extravehicular repairs. Mr. Spock, your Vulcan eyes are better than us humans'. Can you see what that is that Mr. Sulu is doing? He seems to be hanging a large colored handkerchief off the port nacelle.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

To Boldly Go ... by kaufman 10-27-05

Mr. Shatner, were there any heads on the Enterprise? How did you go to the bathroom? No, we'd just go in our pants, and Scotty would promptly beam all the offending molecules away. Far more sanitary than using a toilet. For instance, I remember when ... Scotty, between today's burritos and the Rigelian clap, I'm dripping pee, and about to crap a log the size of Vulcan. I need your magic fast! I'm right on it Cap'n! Thanks, Scotty, you're a true life saver. But just out of curiosity. what happened to all that waste I generated? Och, I beamed the whole shit and your piddle to the Klingons' engine room, where there'll be no dribble at all!

This Kaufman guy is so funny that it makes my tummy hurt.

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"I intend to live forever -- so far, so good."

Bob, Kaufman has been around SC a long time, and is ALWAYS funny. You could entertain yourself for hours just reading through his comics.

This one's good also, but it's not by Kaufman

CC #302: No Rules. Just Right. by Hari_Nezumi 10-28-05

Hey Karen, wanna see my authentic Communicator? Fuck off, Trekkie. You'll only get in THESE pants in your dreams. The Next Day I have terminal what? Mycromonthermia. But I CAN save you. I'll need you to remove your clothes and masturbate into this cup. From there we can make a medicine. *pant* You know...you look familiar...*pant* Tee hee...someone downstairs is being "beamed up".

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

Ellison Blunderland 4 by Smarmulus 10-28-05

I have no training... and I must operate. He's dead Jim.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

The Adventures of Message Board Dave Part 346 by BobRogers 10-30-05

What. Dave, you went home and changed costumes? Damn skippy I did. Got tired of getting splatted. Now I GOT THE AXE! Now for some serious candy collecting. Hey TREKKIE! Trick or... Now Scottie. Let's see how you like the brig, bitch.

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"I intend to live forever -- so far, so good."

Ladies and gentlemen allow me to introduce HCRoyall!

Abe Vi-Yoda by HCRoyall 11-01-05

Hot alien women here, there are not. Great Wisdom, there is. Bad Hairpiece, you have. Dammit... Spock! What... is it?! Undetermined, Captain. Preliminary scans reveal the creature is older than would be considered possible.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka