You've been woken up by a loud bang, and suddenly you have some sort of super power, but you continue your day job. Why?

Show in a comic or a series of comic what your abilities are, and why you continue to keep your dayjob.

No repeats or photoshops.

Judging within half a fortnight.

---
troelsea at gmail dot com

What is this "job" thing?

CC 369: Game night

You've been rolling exceptional successes all session! Since when can you get good rolls? Being able to control probability rules.

by NeoVid, 9-23-07

---
"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Neither A Borrower by Namgubed 9-23-07

I have wonderful news, Sister! What's that, Father? When I awoke this morning, I found I had the power cure children of a certain ailment! Praise be! What ailment is it, Father - cancer, or perhaps multiple sclerosis? ... virginity. Oh, you.

---
"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

RCL no. 1686 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-24-07

So, Juan... You say you woke up this morning with super-hero powers? Sí. I will now be able to protect all the innocent pobrecitos from the "Senor Guapos" of the world... Yet, you still want to work here, shoveling manure for $3.47 an hour? Sí. I just love the smell of cowshit in the morning! What's with the chicken? [ *sniff, sniff* ] AAAAAAAAAHHH!!

Super powers by DJVicarious 9-24-07

Somehow, I don't know how you can just wake up and become psychic. I have. Then prove it. Ben, I'd like you to take a walk with me to our office basement. My psychic powers tell me now that those two weren't imitating wrestling. Is his hand supposed to be that far up there?

like an eagle by AngryAmerican 9-24-07

Dude you're not gonna believe this but i woke up this morning and discovered i can fly! Then why the hell are you still here? I woulda quit and become an international sensation. I'm afraid of flying. you suck.

---
Kill Whitey.

Silent Blessing (CC 369) by HydeGuy 9-24-07

Oh my god, where did that big bang come from? It feels like my ears are bleeding! Hey, I don´t hear anything my mom says. Great! ....................... I must have gained the superpower of deafness! This will make working at the call center a lot less distressing. .......................

CC 369: Yaaaay, Super Powers!!! by Rabid_Weasle 9-24-07

Wake up you little shit, don't want to be late for school! Oh I'll show you, Dad! Oh my god, I've gained the ability to transform matter into anything I want! Actually, he's just retarded!

---
Poop.

RCL no. 1689 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-25-07

HELP ME, STICKBOY! Hold on... USE YOUR NEWLY-FOUND SUPER POWERS TO GET MY HEAD UNSTUCK FROM THIS FENCE!! Keep it down, dude. I can't concentrate with all your screaming... WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU READING? The directions on how to use my newly-found super powers...

CC 369: Emotionally Crippled Telekinetic Man by DJVicarious 9-25-07

Yo, I'm telling you. I woke up this morning and I had these amazing powers. Yeah? Let's see them. I just don't know what they are, yet and how to control them. Ha! See? You must be a fluke! Well, I know I have powers. I was just hoping that you'd be more supportive... What the fuck?

CC 369: Emotionally Crippled Telekinetic Man Strikes Again! by DJVicarious 9-25-07

So, my grandmother is dead? Yes, son. I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help? No. I'm fine. I just wish she wouldn't have died in such a demeanor... I'm sure she-- Gramma... Aaaauuuugghhh!!!

Sometimes You Gotta Do Whom You Gotta Do by choadwarrior 9-26-07

I don't have to walk the streets, you know--I actually have super powers. You picked one hell of a secret identity. They call me The White Whornado, the fastest whore this side of Reno. At least you make money doing what you love. I don't exactly love it. Bitch gotta pay for penicillin somehow.

RCL no. 1690 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-27-07

Dude... What's with the stupid get-up? I woke up this morning with super powers, and I dressed appropriately... What? You now speak French? No. I can hear what people are thinking, but with a French accent... Le dork! I heard that, you nappy-headed ho!

choadwarrior

Just the name "White Whornado" should win you this contest.  I couldn't stop laughing!

CC by HCRoyall 9-27-07

One day I woke up and found I had miraculous superpowers. Like being able to fly and super strength and shit. Whoa. I know kung-fu. At first I was all like, "I should totally go out and fight crime and be a hero. Like seriously beat down some criminals." pwned! OMG! But then I remembered that I'd have to have, like a secret identity and shit, and that sounded a lot like work. So I called in sick and just watched TV all day. Jerry! Jerry! Awesome. That chick's a guy.

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

So! You saw my name as the last poster and thought that I was going to judge this thing?

 Ha!

I'm going to judge a bit later, so bring in those entries. 

---
troelsea at gmail dot com

CC369: Super Father Frank's win-win situation

Sure, Father Frank had the power to take out the missiles, stop the giant cockroaches, and save the Earth -- but he chose not to because it conflicted with his day job, getting souls to Heaven.

by themushroom, 9-30-07

---
Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

CC 369: Why We Fight by biped 9-30-07

I can't believe I woke up this morning with the power to turn into a dinosaur. My book report today is on "War and Peace." Wow, this fucking piece of dog shit-- RAAAAAAAR!!! BILLY!!! WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE, YOUNG MAN!!! YAAAAAAAAA!!! OH, MY GOD!!! WAAAAA-HA-HAAAAAAAA!!! (sob) Dad...Mom turned into a dinosaur today, and...and scared me... Well, son, that's because my sperm is radioactive now. In fact, the President just hired me to fuck the Marines.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

If you're in this list I really liked your comic but it didn't win:

Namgubed, Angry American, choadwarrior, themushroom

If this is your comic. Hey! You won. 

CC by HCRoyall 9-27-07

One day I woke up and found I had miraculous superpowers. Like being able to fly and super strength and shit. Whoa. I know kung-fu. At first I was all like, "I should totally go out and fight crime and be a hero. Like seriously beat down some criminals." pwned! OMG! But then I remembered that I'd have to have, like a secret identity and shit, and that sounded a lot like work. So I called in sick and just watched TV all day. Jerry! Jerry! Awesome. That chick's a guy.

 

If you're not mentioned that means that I've got a special place for you in my heart. 

---
troelsea at gmail dot com

Honored. Rough choices. Though you chose wrong. ;-)

Okay, HCR, hit us baby one more time.

---
Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

I'll have to spend some time thinking up a good one.

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Hey congrats to HCR.

PS: you suck. :D :) ;)

---
“Life is intrinsically... boring and dangerous at the same time. At any given moment the floor may open up. Of course it almost never does; that's what makes it so boring.”--Ogdred Weary

I made a comic about the handicapped and I didn't even get a shout out? What is this site coming to?

---
Poop.

Rabid_Weasel, you got a special place in my heart. Ain't that good enough for ya?! ;)

---
troelsea at gmail dot com

Pffft, your heart doesn't even have cable.

---
Poop.