Welcome back to another thrilling episode of Random Comic Dialog!  Today's installment:  "I could really use a handjob".  Sponsored by Brillo scrubbing pads and Brawny, The Quicker Picker Upper!

You're familiar with the scheme:  hit Random until you find something you like, use the phrase

"I could really use a handjob" as dialog or thought, any number of panels, all new work.

Bonus points if you can do it in one panel and if it's a woman who uses the phrase.  Example: 

RCD #8: The priest that passes understanding

Little Cowboy Tries To Return Home I could really use a handjob...

by themushroom, 10-04-07

 

---
Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

RCD #8: Manga

I could really use a handjob. I always get the tentacle freaks.

by Hatrix, 10-04-07

RCD #8: How Does That Make You Feel? by Hatrix 10-04-07

Is there anything I could do that would make you NOT blast me with that hose right now? I could really use a hand job. This discount therapy isn't the bargin I imagined it would be.

---
“Life is intrinsically... boring and dangerous at the same time. At any given moment the floor may open up. Of course it almost never does; that's what makes it so boring.”--Ogdred Weary

RCD #8: Halloween Comes Early This Year by Boring 10-05-07

I could really use a handjob. Can´t do it myself because of the pain in my fingers from excessive stripcreating. Heck, I might as well stick my dick into the pumpkin. Not again. I´m full.

RCD #8: Unfortunate Conflict of Interests

I could really use a handjob. And I could really use your cold stiff severed hand to give myself one.

by Boring, 10-05-07

Hardware Tweaking 3 (RCD #8)

I could really use a handjob. The Lovebot2007 Home and Student Edition allows nipple tweaking only. You may upgrade for only $ 299.00 now. Monthly recurring billing.

by Boring, 10-05-07

I admit I changed the background for the last one so it fits in with the rest of the series.

RCD #8: Korean Language Version Only

I COULD REALLY USE A HANDJOB! Wait! I´m already looking it up in the manual.

by DrMorton, 10-05-07

RCD #8: Basement Needs by DrMorton 10-05-07

I could really use a handjob. Is that ... why we are down here? But Sir - you called 911! You ... you said, it was an emergency! And your point is?

RCD #8: Tard Boy and Finkelman - The School Daze by DrMorton 10-05-07

At the annual school play. I could really use a handjob! Your fucking cue, Finkelman! You were supposed to enter with your throbbing member in your hand, we get each other off, the crowd goes wild - the cathartic finale to "The Magic Beanstalks"! But I haven´t finished my autofellatio act from scene one yet!

I didn't say when this piece of shit ends, did I?  Hmm.  Okay.  Friday at 10pm PST.  So get your last tugs in before this thing goes off.

(That was handjob humor. See, when a man pulls on his penis repeatedly, it... okay.) 

---
Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

RCD 8 - or - How Deaf Santa Got Raped, p.1 by crackpanther 10-11-07

I could really use a handjob. Ho ho ho!! I could really use a handjob. You're not a little boy! You're at least 40! I could really use a hand job. You know very well that Deaf Santa can't hear! Now why did you follow him into this alley?

" />

RCD 8

Look at that view! Aren't you glad you came with us to the Grand Canyon, Grandma? Screw the view. I could really use a handjob...

by HCRoyall, 10-11-07

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

RCL no. 1704 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 10-11-07

Now that you've nailed me to this cross... ...I could really use a handjob. My name is Job... I know...   ?

RCD 8 by bankerrap 10-11-07

I could really use a hand job. Well could you at least scratch my nose?

---
At least if the world was flat you could push people you didn't like off the edge.

RCD #8: Bowljob by HydeGuy 10-11-07

I could really use a handjob. Is he talking to us? I guess he´s finally snapped. Keep your fins close to your body, Gary!

RCL no. 1705 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 10-11-07

I could use a handjob... I could REALLY use a handjob! (No matter how hard he tried, Adam was unable to successfully employ The Secret's "Law of Attraction"... WILL SOMEONE PLEASE COME GIVE ME A HANDJOB??

Brilliant!

I really could use a handjob.

by boloboffin, 10-11-07

---
You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

LOL so far... okay, now bring this to a climax!

 

Come to think of it, I really could use... ahem.

 

---
Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

Never know until you try!

I'd do anything for you, man! I could really use a handjob, but I'm not sure how I feel about scaly hands...

by JStrong, 10-12-07

2 4 6 8 who do we RCD8?

More Comic Competitions » RCD #8 May I help you? I could really use a hand job.

by arbi, 10-12-07

---
woof

In the biblical sense

rcd #8, 2 How's that ark coming along, Noah? I could really use a hand, Job.

by arbi, 10-12-07

---
woof

Okay, enough of this.

An exciting Handjob goes to Boring for "Hardware Tweaking 3" for the Microsoft joke and getting Granny to ask for a yankie of her wankie.

The winner though, and spiller of seed, is DrMorton for getting right down to it in "Basement Needs". Because I said so and feel it in my bones. Okay, bone.

 

Hit it, DrMorton!

 

---
Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

Thanks a lot to the Mushroom for a great contest - this phrase was so ingenious that you came up with a funny or weird situation almost everytime you hit the random button.

Don´t expect me to live up to this with my idea for the next contest but I´ll try.

Flattered! It was just something I pulled out of my ass.

 

Okay, don't try to figure why I had a handjob in my bum. Don't.

 

---
Say something cryptic then leave snickering.