The time is ripe to start riffing on The Most Interesting Man in the World, who advocates "Dos Equis" beer, and borrows his interestingness heavily from Chuck Norris, e.g. "His beard sees more action before 9AM than most people see all day" and "he can speak French ... in Russian."  For those unfamiliar with this ad campaign, see staythirstymyfriends.com .

Rules:

1)  Your comic(s) will feature The Most Dysfunctionally Interesting Man in the World, who drinks "Tres Equis" alcoholic beverage (of any variety).  His dysfunction may be alcoholism, but it has to be an interesting form of alcoholism.

2)  Prefer that you use one of the beverage-drinking characters.

3)  New comics or new series only.  Photoshopped entries are OK, but must meet a higher standard, you know, like white New Hampshire firemen.

4)  Judging will occur in 2-3 weeks give or take.

On your mark, get set, nunc est bibendum, my friends.

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

It was kinda funny that you picked this theme for the contest.

While I have seen these commercials a million times, I've never heard them until I clicked on the link you posted because I work in a club and don't have those cable/dish thingys that make TV go.

I had always wondered what the hell the commercials were about, but obviously not bad enough to look them up and see. I find them somewhat amusing, but not even close to being interesting enough to make me want to try Dos Equis ever again.

 

He has no name. by AngryAmerican 7-19-09

Some people think he's a myth. INTERPOL denies his existence while secretly asking him for tips. He brought elephants back to Siberia. He once fought a ninja in a bullring. For Queen Elizabeth. He's been ridden more times than the monorail at Disneyland, but his ride never stops. Mexican hookers swear his urine cures herpes, a claim he modestly denies. He once had a chinchilla named 'Scraps'. I don't always drink beer. Like when I'n on LSD. But when I do, I drink Tres Equis. Stay thirsty, fuckheads.

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Kill Whitey.

He has no name 2 by AngryAmerican 7-19-09

He once had bruising, amazon-style sex with Lynda Carter. The native villagers referred to him as "The White Python". He made a name for himself by building simple things. Like the Orbiting Animal Sanctuary. And Never-Neverland. In prison, he traded new fish for Snickers bars. Then wrote poems about it. I don't always drink beer. Like when drinking toilet-fermented Kool-Aid. But when I do drink beer, I drink Tres Equis. Stay thirsty, asshats.

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Kill Whitey.

God Bless alcohol and drive-thru.

He has no name 3 by AngryAmerican 7-19-09

Its rumored that his ball-musk is so strong that it attracts local fauna, such as wombats and ring-tailed lemurs. His greeting cards are pleasant and mildly humorous. In 1974 he successfully campaigned to end the Vietnam War. He played a mean piccolo and Nixon danced to his tune. Centuries from now, aboard the Orbiting Animal Sanctuary, he ministers to puppies. I might not always drink beer. Sometimes I sniff glue . But when I drink beer, I drink Tres Equis.

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Kill Whitey.

Quantum of Floyd by biped 7-19-09

Floyd Reynolds once had sex with a horse. Two years later, that horse's offspring won the Kentucky--skrrieekk WHAT THE HELL is a fuckin' TV crew doin' in the livingroom, Floyd? Cuz I drink Trez Eckies and I'm the most dysfunctional fucker in the world, BITCH! HEY!!! FUCK YOU INNA--!!! EAT THE SHIT OUTTA MY--!!! You really upset my sister this time, Floyd. She done ran home to Mama. Oh yeah? Well, why don't YOU run home to MY DICK!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Nice idea for a CC!

CC 430: Boos for booze by NeoVid 7-21-09

His secondhand smoke has been known to drop bystanders on the spot. He once got lung cancer, but lung cancer won't talk about what happened. In a fight between Chuck Norris and God, he won. God now goes to him for advice. He's drunk 90% of the time, and getting laid 100%. He'd never tell you that he's better than you, even though he is. I don't always drink beer, and when I do, it's mixed with Everclear. But when I want a pansy drink, I drink Tres Equis.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

He has no name 4 by AngryAmerican 7-23-09

He got barred for life from the Playboy Mansion because his pheromones caused a sexual riot which injured 4 Bunnies and 2 of the Bee Gees. He found the perfectly preserved body of Jesus Christ, who it turned out wasn't actually crucified, but had merely fallen into any icy crevasse while in Switzerland. He taught billiards to an enitre tribe of pygmies, because it needed to be done. I don't always drink beer. Like when I'm felching a shemale. But when I do, I drink Tres Equis. Stay thirsty, putos.

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Kill Whitey.

Groovy! - Tres Yech-quis by edoggydog 7-23-09

That beer I just drank had an interesting "spice note". A taste of lime and... and... ammonia? Is it a new Mexican beer or something? Nah. I just pee'd in it your Budweiser before I gave it to you... YAAAAAAAACK!! Groovy! Stay thirsty, my friend!

Groovy! - Tres Yech-quis by edoggydog 7-23-09

That beer I just drank had an interesting "spice note". A taste of lime and... and... ammonia? Is it a new Mexican beer or something? Nah. I just pee'd in it your Budweiser before I gave it to you... YAAAAAAAACK!! Groovy! Stay thirsty, my friend!

Intended as separate entries... unless combining them helps my chances.

CC430: The most innnstrxxlm mgg gn thw wllde by evil_d 7-24-09

He knows how to throw up in seven languages. Blarghissimo! He always wears the perfect lampshade for the occasion. Something Victorian today, Jeeves. Very good, sir. He is... the most interesting drunk in the world. I don't always drink beer... because sometimes I'm passed out. But when I'm awake, yeah, it's non-stop beer-drinking.

CC430: The most Malkovich Malkovich in the Malkovich by evil_d 7-24-09

He is named after a cocktail, and there is also a cocktail named after him. Tom Collins will have a Tom Collins... the other kind. Coming right up, Tom Collins. This can get old pretty quickly. Tom Collins always drinks Tom Collinses. But when he wants to mix his Tom Collinses with beer, he prefers Tom Collins and Tres Equis. He is... the most self-absorbed man in the world. I'd like to have a Tom Collins too... if you get my drift. Tom Collins is going to take you back to his Tom Collins and Tom Collins you all night long, Tom Collins.

 

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Groovy! - Tres Yech-quis Redux by edoggydog 7-24-09

That beer I just drank had an interesting texture to it. Sort of creamy and lumpy, yet a little gummy. Is it a new Mexican beer or something? Nah. I jacked off into your Budweiser before I gave it to you... YAAAAAAAAACK!! Groovy! Stay thirsty, my friend!

I've been drinking heavily in preparation for my vacation.

That's my only excuse.

He has no name 5 by AngryAmerican 7-25-09

He's the only man who ever received the Heisman Trophy, an Oscar, an Emmy , a Tony and an Adult Male Performer of the Year award. All in the same year. He does expansive, ambitious puppet shows for the criminally insane. His next project is King Lear and will feature Socky, the polyester blend dog. He's a black belt in 118 different martial arts. I don't always drink beer. Like when I'm freebasing ping pong balls in a youth detention center. But when I do, I drink Tres Equis. Stay thirsty, sheep.

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Kill Whitey.

I realized that adding a 'stay thirsty' quip at the end of these comics stretched the borders to an annoying level, but I did it anyway because I'm ambivalent like that.

Apathetic might be more apropos.

I tried to limit it with this one.

He has no name 6 by AngryAmerican 7-25-09

He empathically communes with sharks, and defends them from brutal dolphin attacks. He taught them all he knows about fishooks. He once accidentally destroyed an entire Yugoslavian town searching for his pants. He paid to have it rebuilt. With TWO movie theaters and a KFC. He teaches English to small asain children. I'm don't always drink beer. Like when I'm chasing the dragon. But when I do, I drink Tres Equis. Stay thirsty, bendajos.

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Kill Whitey.

CC: 430 by Beeko180 7-26-09

After stealing a giant diamond and flushing it down the toilet, Bob didn't count on many things to happen. But due to the pointy thing at the end of the shiny thing... Dos Equis Stay thirsty.

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You have my most solemn and honourbound of vows that clicking this link will not direct you to a youtube video of a rick roll

CC 430: Legendary Item #1581 by codehappykid 7-26-09

For heaven's sake, Malcolm, how obvious do I have to be!? Hold on, Kate, I'm about to get the Almighty Mug of Tres Equis! What does that do? It transforms my character into Vin Diesel when I drink from it. I'm going to the fridge. Okay, stay thirsty.

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HALPUU!

CC 430: by four_legged_tripod 7-27-09

After being molested by not 1, not 2, but 10 ice cream men in a back alley, he still used the experience to make an anal raped flavored ice cream that feeds millions of children in Africa each day. Not one to discriminate, he molests all of his step-daughters, not just the red headed one, using his penis and a sock to reenact Shakespeare to help them with their homework while he does it. Being confused about relationships and sexuality has not stopped him from giving back to society as he secretly volunteers at a farm giving the animals there prostate exams with his fist. When I'm not drinking Draino in an attempt to kill myself, I drink Tres Equis. Stay thirsty.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

RCL no. 2021 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 7-27-09

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I blow the tranny behind the local Kmart to get change to buy a forty of Old E... Stay thirsty, my friend.

RCL no. 2022 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 7-28-09

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink Tres Equis! What do you drink when you're not drinking beer? Rhino cum. What?

RCL no. 2025 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 7-29-09

I don't always drink beer, but when I do... ...I rough up a black Harvard professor and have the President invite me to the White House for a Coors Light! *burp*

excellent

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Battlefield Mirth

Come on, folks, and get  those last-minute entries in!  I'll probably judge this contest Saturday evening, so loosen up those carpal tunnels and crank out some more spankin' fresh ha-ha's!

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

CC 430: Or Is She!? by codehappykid 8-07-09

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, - Wait wait wait, this is supposed to be about the most interesting man in the world. And? And, you're not - Check please.

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HALPUU!