quote:
What are you all, wusses? Post something brilliant and hilarious, and kick my butt!

CC 200: Per Kaufman's instructions... by KungChiFu 7-29-03

Something brilliant, and hilarious, & kick my butt. heeee-YAH!

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

CC 200: National Kidnap A Cat For Ransom Day by Rabid_Weasle 7-29-03

Hello Kaufman? Today is August 21st, National Kidnap A Cat For Ransom Day. And I am phoning you on this cell phone to inform you that I have your cat hostage! How brilliant and hilarious of me! I think you kidnapped the wrong cat... Damnit! I'm coming over there to kick your ass!

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Poop.

CC200: So sayeth Stupid Punchline Elephant! by TheBlairZip 7-29-03

August 26: TheBlairZip's birthday! Why the hell would we celebrate his birthday? Beats me. I just want to be loved... I can't believe it's not tofu!

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If it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have no luck at all. D'OH!

I had to try and topple the king. I had to.

CC200: Captain Obvious and August 12 by mmyers 7-29-03

As I look at my calendar I see that it's August 12, and that's a great day for me, isn't it, Captain Obvious? Not understanding what you are talking about, I find myself confused and must ask, what are you talking about? Why, August 12, it's national Release Your Enemies from Prison day. Boy, that sounds suspicious, because you're evil and why would I want to release you when you are evil. That perplexes me. Well, it's written right here on my calendar. Well, even though it's written in human excrement on the calendar, who am I to disagree. I bet you can't wait to get out and cause mayhem. You're free.

CC: 200 Captain Obvious and August 12 (2) by mmyers 7-29-03

I used to think I had it bad because I had no shoes, then I made lemonade. Come on out, Misremembered Platitude Fish. I'm letting out all of my enemies. Well, all good things must have a silver lining. You say phrases that you confuse and say them the wrong way. That's funny so I laugh at it. Well, the road to success is such sweet sorrow. Ha, ha, I'm laughing.

CC:200 Captain Obvious and August 12 (3) by mmyers 7-29-03

Greetings, Captain Obvious. Is there something you would like to converse with me about? Since I don't like talking to you because of the way you nit pick and make me feel stupid, I'm just going to tell you that I'm setting you free. Go. So many ways I could begin to correct your sentences and fragments, Captain Obvious. Truely, I will miss these times that we have spent together. For real, Dr. Pedantic? Ha ha, I made you dangle your modifier. Get out.

CC200: Captain Obvious and August 12 (4) by mmyers 7-29-03

Boy, I'm going to miss you, Captain Obvious. You've taken great care of us over the years. Thanks, Obsequious Oscar, but times up and you should probably be going now. Is there anything I can do for you to help out? You want me to sweep out the cells for you? I think that demon guy pooped in his and rubbed it on a calender. Not neccessary, Oscar. I'll just be happy for you because you're free, albeit undeservedly. This drafty prison air seems to be agreeing with you. Your skin looks great. Are you using a new shampoo, because it glistens in the little bit of light that gets in down here. I'm going to turn around and walk toward the door in the hopes that you will follow me, forget that we are talking, and then continue walking away from me.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

CC200: Captain Obvious and August 12 (5) by mmyers 7-29-03

I sit too close to the TV. Grandma says that that's bad for your eyes. I'm getting glasses Tuesday and that's because I sit too close to the TV. Late Breaking news! A team of super villians has assembled in the park and are berating passerbys. Tourists and locals alike are fleeing in confusion. One of the team members, known as Dr Pedantic was quoted as saying, "It's spelled 'villains' and the correct phrase would be passers by". Police are baffled. Hey, I'm responsible for this because I set them all free. They're all evil and no doubt are commiting evil acts now that they're free. CLEAN YOUR ROOM, CHESTER! Because it's dirty and when things are dirty they require cleaning to make them not dirty.

CC:200 Captain obvious and August 12 (6) by mmyers 7-29-03

Hello, jogging enthusiast, your shirt proclaiming that you enjoy the act of jogging is actually a gerund. I'm sure you were unaware. The more things change, the more some things will never change. All right, I'm going to try and stop you all, even though I don't feel like I have the ability to because it's all of you against me. I wish I had help. You do have help, Captain Obvious, and it comes in the form of Deus ex Machina Monkey.

CC 200: Captain Obvious and August 11 (7) by mmyers 7-29-03

Well, that was close. Tell me, Deus ex Machina Monkey, how did you save the day because I don't know how you did it? I traveled back in time to the day before you let everyone out. I took my time machine. In fact, I come from a whole planet of time traveling chimps. We used to have a king and he forced us to grow plantains, so we lived on a plantain-tion. Now we've got a president so we're called the Banana Republic.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

I'm groaning and laughing at the same time. Is that good?

Also, I hate to do this, but Dr. Pedantic said "Truely" in comic 3 when he obviously meant "Truly."

Hurt me now.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Time's up! Here are the Honorable Mention folks, in chronological order:

kaufman - August 2 in Australia : Never have I seen so many INGs without one of them being a gerund in my life. Furthermore, I hereby declare the Gerundhog a new one-note character.

Spankling - Can't you just smell... : This one wins the gerund mini-contest (I counted five), and was funny also.

kaufman - Calendar series : This is really good stuff, but then you knew that. Research can be fun!

umfumdisi - Resistible Force vs. Illogical Object : The idea of Mr. Sticks inventing a holiday is terrific.

mmyers - Captain Obvious and August 12 series : Indeed, you gave kaufman a run for his money with this one, but it turns out he wasn't the one to gun for. The winner is:

CC 200: Zesty! by Trippingbillee 7-26-03

I know that it is Field Day of August, and that we are supposed to be celebrating the natrual and zesty taste of grass... Yes, grandma? Do you not like the taste of the grass in this field? It's not that. It's that I have cancer. I'm going to die in a few weeks. Swimming is the best form of excercise!

Making a mockery of the rules and using a gerund sentence that I suspect came straight from a textbook, Mr. Billee made me laugh harder than I have at an SC strip in some time. I hope you've already gotten your Rulemaking Hat back from the cleaners, TB--201 is thine.

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"I don't know who you are, schmucko, but you rule." - lara7 | christ@myself.com

Stop being such a CC hog!

Hooray for ippingb! We shall have sex with a piano to celebrate your win.

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Poop.

I think I've spotted a trend.

Between the bodyless gerund's classic You've Got Cancer and this CC's winner, I think it's clear:

Inoperable cancer is a trump topic.

Use it if you want to win.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Wow, thanks! I'll have #200 up and running in a few hours.

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Sex Piano.

You mean... #201...

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Poop.

I finally got back in the mentions. I'm feeling lucky. Maybe I'll put some money in the Pentagon Dead Pool.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

201. Not 200.

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Sex Piano.

In the aftermath, I must say that i have never tried so hard to come up with a pun as i did for the end of that series, and it shows. Ugh.

Congrats, Trippingbillee. It didn't strike me how funny your comic was until i reread it. You are a deserving champion.

Truely (d'oh) truly,
mmyers

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.