All comics by Buttonman

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by Buttonman
12-08-02
Wrestling instruction begins with Question and answer.....
So tell me Mr. Promoter, what is a shoot interview?
That's when a wrestler is all wound up and blurts out the first thing that comes into his head, whether the fans understand it or not.
Young Grasshopper asks and learns
Can you give me an example?
Buttonman @#$%$#&^%**&%#$
So you hate Buttonman?
I'd kill him but it ain't legal

 

by Buttonman
12-08-02
Grasshopper negotiates for his new career as a Pro Wrestler
I can take you all the way to the WWF. Just sign the contract, hand over the training money and you're on your way.
Let's see. I pay $2000 to my trainer, wrestle indefinitly for him for free, have no health insurance and get a 30,000 to one shot at gold and glory.
Sweet deal, dontcha think?
I can already see me on the Titantron at Smackdown!
What about the part wher I am 5'6, weigh less than 125 lbs and haven't been in a fight since second grade?
We can get around that.

 

by Buttonman
12-09-02
Grasshopper pursues his dream of wrestling success
Gold...glory..babes..going against The Rock On Smackdown...
Snap out of it boy, time for your first wrestling lesson
Pay me now, Seymour.
You're not going to hurt me are you?
That night at the gym...
Uh-oh
Fresh Meat....

 

by Buttonman
12-09-02
Grasshopper learns about gimmicks. They come in may shapes and sizes. Even an innocent hand puppet can be a weapon.
Stand still while I punch you out!
I need to check my dental plan
It's not the puppet you have to worry about, it's the 6'5' 375 lb psycho attached to it that you need to watch
Selling comes natural to a boy with 5 broken ribs a fractured leg, a hernia and a 12 inch gash on his head.
That was BITCHIN! See the way he flew through the air? I believed THAT one!
Dang! That boy's GOOD! That blood looks real. Look at the way his legs are twisted into a knot! Wrestling is REAL!

 

by Buttonman
12-11-02
Outside the National Guard Armory, there is an eerie silence, as if the building is holding its breath. But it's not military exercises that has the old brick pile worried. It's Wrestling night.
Just about sunset, the first workers begin to arrive, each lost in his own thoughts.
Let's see. . . Wrestling for Dummies, part one, "The Chair." Grip chair firmly and aim it at your opponent's head...
Lessee, I count 1-2-3... I hold up the winner's hand. I'm a referee, a referee, that's right ref-ah-ree...
Grasshopper has had two lessons now. It is time for his first real show.
Are you sure I'm ready?
You're be in the Main Event.

 

by Buttonman
12-13-02
The fans wait in line to see the first indy wrestling show to come to town in more than a year
When you get home from wrestling tonight we will have moved to Cleveland...signed Your Parents
I'm getting a new luchidore' mask from the gimmick table tonight. This one is a little stiff from the wash
The poster said that Mike Foley would be here tonight. Hope he brings Mr. Socko
I can read my brother's thought balloon. The promoter advertised "Mike" Foley, Ain' no Mr. Socko going to be here tonight. My brother is such a mark.
Meanwhile, at the front of the line....
You're making a mistake.
I don't care if you ARE Lucifer's Cousin, you pay 7 bucks or you don't get in.

 

by Buttonman
12-15-02
From the dictionary of wrestling terminology: Cyberheat (n) the act of generating false controversy by posting messages on the message board of wrestlers' web sites
&%$#%^&#^%#**&%^#$
Is this about that stupid arguement with that other loser, what's his name?
Buttonman?
Yeah, that's him. What's he have to do with wrestling anyhow? You hate him. He steals garbage trucks and parks them in front of orphanages. He's an a##hole. Who Cares? Get over it, DUDE!
One of the dangers of cyberheat is the risk of appoplexy due to frustration in the wrestling Twilight Zone
I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him
Dude's computer exploded. Wow. Did Buttonman do that? I didnt think you could do that. Well, it'll be quiet around here 'till he gets an new hard drive.

 

by Buttonman
12-15-02
Meanwhile in a ruined neighborhood somewhere on the Gulf Coast.....
Why aren't you on your computer? Hey. What happened to your house? Didn't there use to be a house...
Computer exploded. I think that it was sabotage. He figured out a way to blow up my computer, mumble mumble...
Who? Who did this terrible thing to you?
It was.... He who must not be named!
That Twilight Zone is never far away/
Who is this clown? Why do I bother?
Lord Voldemort? From Harry Potter? Lord Voldemort blew up your computer? Dude! That's terrible!

 

by Buttonman
12-17-02
Meanwhile, in a locker room in a small Florida town on wrestling night.
I am a trained professional Wrestler. I am going to KILL the $#%$&**#&^$% promoter who is making me wear this #$#&$^%$ rabbit suit for tonight's show.
Kill the wabbit!
This is stupid. Nobody wants to see a rabbit wrestle.
Who said anything about wrestling? I changed the card.
Who says there isn't irony in Professional Wrestling?
That's what I'm talking about. BABY!
Come to momma!

 

by Buttonman
12-17-02
Trash Talking 101:
I am The Jackson, The True Palya - one of the Original Ebony Blondes! We gonna come in, take over, kick booty, rewrite history and just generally DOMINATE!
We're not looking for a singer. Be on your way.
Not THAT Jackson, THE Jackson - I am a WRESTLER, Dammit! One of the EBONY BLONDES! I've held BELTS! What's the mater with you? Show me respect.
You're not even Blonde.
Twenty minutes of removing makeup later....
I am The Jackson, The True Palya - one of the Original Ebony Blondes! We gonna come in, take over, kick booty, rewrite history and just generally DOMINATE!
Sigh.....

 

by Buttonman
12-19-02
The hottest trend among professional wrestlers is to get their own web site that host a message board, so that wrestling fan computer users will have a place to worship their heroes.
My name is Ratwoman and I am your most loyal fan
I am evil leather guy, 1/2 of Evil Leather Guys Tag Team. Gotta love me
Cyber Romance. . . one of the cornerstones of the Internet Universe
Can you describe yourself, Ratwoman?
I'm 5'8, blonde and more voluptious than JLo
Wretling fans come in many shapes and species...
Type to me, baby.
I want to tie you up and handcuff you and spread jello all over your chest and .....

 

by Buttonman
12-19-02
They say there is someone for every- one. For Evil Leather Guy, 1/2 of Evil Leather Guys Tag Team, cybersex seems to be working particularly well.
Baby, I can't stand being without you for one more minute. You are my sun and moon and stars. When we get together I'd really like to %%#$^@((*&^#(*#^% for at least a week.
Ogod. After 24 years of celebacy! Finally some bootay!
Cyber Rat! I think I love you. Where can we meet to consumate my desire?
Que'?
I want to meet you and go somewhere and %$^#&**@&#^$%
Ma MAN!

 

by Buttonman
12-19-02
Meeting in the park seemed like a good idea when it was arranged.
Hot damn! It's a good day to be alive in the park looking for a chick named Bunny
Wonder what he's so happy about?
Bunny?
Baby?
There's a wrinkle in the sheets. It's actually PATROLPERSON Bunny of the Internet Perv Squad...
Wait a minute. WAIT A MINUTE! What do you mean she's only 16? That's 57 in rabbit years! she never said she was underage! What the f%$^
You have the right to remain silent...

 

by Buttonman
12-20-02
Christmas at Super Mark's house is a happy time because the holidays dont conflict with smackdown...
Joy to the world.....
The Rock says that The Rock will take that Christmas Tree and all those raindeer and that fat man in the red Santa suit and rotate them counterclockwise up you candy .....
Super Mark loves all things about Professional wrestling, especially the news
Omygawd... it's true...it's true what I read on the Internet!
In other news, Rumors that Steve Austin is returning to the WWE wearing a new gimmick that portrays him as a giant bald viagra capsule have been greatly exaggerated.
But some changes are overwhelming.
He's let his hair grow back out.
OH! The Horror!

 

by Buttonman
12-21-02
Christmas at the home of Evil Leather Guy, 1/2 of the tag team, Evil Leather Guys. Their Valet, Nike has just dropped by to wish him Feliz Navidad .
Wow, Dude! You look like someone kicked your dog and it wasn't you. What's wrong?
Bunny, my cyber dream girl tuurned out to be an undercover cop and a rabbit.
Dude! A cop? That sucks
That's not the worst of it. She's 16, so I am looking at 300 years in the State Penitentiary.
Christmas at the home of Evil Leather Guy, 1/2 of the tag team, Evil Leather Guys. Their Valet, Nike has just dropped by to wish him Feliz Navidad .
There goes the meal ticket...
She wants to see me after I get out though.

 

by Buttonman
12-27-02
Evil Leather Guy, 1/2 of the tag team, Evil Leather Guys is meeting with his court appointed attorney....
... so I had no idea that she was underage when we arranged that meeting in the park. I was just going to take her out for a little pizza and a movie.
Mmhm
...and then on top of everything else she turned out to be a rabbit, which is not necessarily a bad thing except for the part about her actually being a cop and....
MmmHMM
I am just way screwed, right?
yep

 

by Buttonman
12-28-02
In the judge's Chambers, Evil Leather Guy's Court Appointed Attorney discusses his case
Your Honor, my client is innocent...
He was obviously framed and entrapped. He was just looking for love in all the wrong places...
Shortly after she begins her plea, she notices that something is amiss...
eeep...
The wheels of justice turn, albeit, slowly.
So let me make sure I understand this. The judge had been dead for 36 hours and I STILL got convicted?
Pled it down to misdomeanor attempted cohabitation with another species. You only got 30 days in jail.

 

by Buttonman
12-28-02
Evil Leather Guy, 1/2 of the Tag team Evil Leather Guys is doing his time in the County Jail...
Swing low, sweet chariot.....
What's the big deal about jail anyhow? This is easy. What could happen?
The cell door opens and...
I hadda ask.
Honey... I'm home...

 

by Buttonman
12-29-02
The power of the Internet is not lost on The Promoter, as he begins preparation for his next show.
We already have the Team Playa booked and Bobby Fuller Junior and Rikki Rocket and ...
Better book me too, B**ch
Not everybody's signed on yet though...
Who typed that? Why didn't he type his name? Damned Instant messages.
I'm your worst nightmare, Mr. Promoter...
Nothing is ever what it seems...
eeep?
I'm a seven foot tall 435 pound shoot artist who loves to kill promoters, rob concession stands and generally misbehave in front of audiences. I will be off death row in time for your show...

 

by Buttonman
12-29-02
The Babyface Wrestler, Alien Ape paid $900 to Adrian Street for this bitchin' gimmick, but now he's worried...
The Predator's going to Afghanistan....
Bobby Fuller's going to fight Mad Dog Sawyer....
Having an opponent for the upcoming show means the world to him.
Red Anderson's booked against Doctor X...
Everybody's got something going except me...
And then again.....
Bomb Iraq... Crush Bagdad! Kill Arabs! Waste camels...
Crap! Now I have to go make another tape...

 

by Buttonman
12-31-02
TV News at Super Mark's house...
The U.S Continues to prepare to Invade Iraq
North Korea is has The Bomb and is preparing to use it.
Super Mark watches CNN intently each day.
5 terrorists have crossed the border fron Canada into New York
Same old... same old ...
Some days are better than others
In Florida, all National Guard Armories are closed to Professional Wrestling
I've nothing to live for...

 

by Buttonman
12-31-02
The Promoter has sought out professional help in an effort to change his image...
... so when he first started creating these comic strips, he and I were feuding and so I ended up with this gross looking avatar. Can you help me, Doc?
Absolutely. Now you have a choice between the red pill and the blue pill...
The effect is instantaneous.
The Promoter has sought out professional help in an effort to change his image...
Now I'd just like you to explain to me how being a penguin chick in a cocktail dress relates to Professional Wrestling!
It worked for Bobby Doll. Besides, the whip gives you a nice air of authority

 

by Buttonman
12-31-02
The Promoter has successfully changed his avatar, but is somewhat dissatisfied as to his new image!
This sucks! There's no way in Hell I am going to let you get away with this Buttonman, you psycho!
But you said you wanted a new image....
There seems to be some disagreement....
Not as a Penguin Chick, you moron. just because you are the cartoonist do you think that gives you license to do whatever you want to people? I'll tear your heart out you %#$%^@#&**&#^
The Promoter has successfully changed his avatar, but is somewhat dissatisfied as to his new image!
Buttonman made an appointment for you?
Change me back or I'll whip your dog.

 

by Buttonman
1-03-03
New wrestlers stop by The Promoter's Office looking for a booking.
I'm a wrestler, book me. Gotta love me. I'm colorful.
Didn't I see something on the Internet about you? Let me think. Ah! I remember, you got into a fight with a fan
Nah, man, that was my evil heel twin. I'm from the babyface side of the family.
Almost got the whole promotion kicked out of the country and western bar the show was in.
New wrestlers stop by The Promoter's Office looking for a booking.
Dude, I'm peaceful unless I see that Jackson fellow, then I fly into a purple rage, kick over chairs, shout loudly and try to hurt him.
I can see the makings of a match already.

 

by Buttonman
1-03-03
Changing Avatars is a painful process, especially when the one you have is so popular. It's like meddling with the universe
OW!
EEP!
Ahhhhhhhhhhh
I feel a really strange urge to find a Tuna sandwich
Eventually, the promoter's own avatar resurfaces, but only after several days of hospital bed rest.
Buttonman, this isn't over.....
You got that right, babe.

 

by Buttonman
1-03-03
Shameless Wrestling Promo - take 1
Dude. You need to go to the SCCW show this weekend in Mobile
I AM The Jackson! I'm already booked. Watch out, Steve Cheetum, I'm going to grin you to death!
Shameless Wrestling Promo - take 2
I'll be there. And the guy at the door better not hit on me either.
I AM The Jackson! I'm already booked. Watch out, Steve Cheetum, I'm going to grin you to death!
Shameless Wrestling Promo - take 3
Dude. You need to go to the SCCW show this weekend in Mobile
I'll suplex your ass!

 

by Buttonman
1-05-03
In the seventh circle of hell, which is reserved for New York Time Crossword Puzzle addicts, one of the demons is having second thoughts about hanging out in perdition
This circle of Hell is boring. I think I'll go up on earth and cause some mischief
What could I do that would really cause a stir, maybe get The Boss to promote me to one of the Inner Circles down here
Beelzebub always has good ideas
Maybe the boss has a suggestion. Whatup, Boss. What could I do to really cause trouble on Earth?
How about becoming a Professional Wrestler? Form a tag team with some ambitious indy wrestler and bring back his soul.

 

by Buttonman
1-06-03
Interview time at KSCCW Radio
This is your correspondent, Gabe Gaboski, at the first wrestling show of the new year. I'm interviewing Long Haired Wrestler #1, 1/2 of the tag team, Long Haired Wrestlers. Dude, whatup?
Shhh! Don't bother me. I'm trying to figure out where this finger has been recently.
Gabe seems to be establishing a rapport with his subject.
We just need to hear your views on the squash job you guys took tonight at the hands of the tag team, Gigantic Fat Dudes. You got splashed four times by a 500 pound guy. How do you feel?
Like a cross between a potato pancake and a hubcap on a railroad track after the train is gone.
Bingo. Scoop.
So, you're plotting revenge?
Me and 12 of my friends....

 

by Buttonman
1-06-03
Confusion sometimes is the order of the day...
I am The Jackson....
Can you moonwalk for me?
Not THAT Jackson.... I'm a WRESTLER! What is UP with these guys
Sing thrilla for me. Where's your red jacket? Was that REALLY your baby hanging over that railing? Dang! They did a great job making you look white...
Kraka
Now you've gone and made me mad. Payback is gonna be a bitch

 

by Buttonman
1-06-03
The computer web browser is set to www.MensaWrestlingNews.com
Last night at the big show, a wrestler issued a challenge to all Cajuns, proclaiming them all to be scum, and declaring all Cajuns to be sissies and girlie men...
As it was, he was pretty much unaware of the well-armed inebriated Cajun gentleman standing at ringside waiting for him to shut up so he could, "Open the boy like a gator 'bout to be a suitcase.."
The young wrestler, Skinny Rainbow Colored Hippie is keen to get the word.
A security guard confiscated the man's 10 inch hookbill knife by convincing him to swop it for a beer....
COWABUNGA, DUDE! This is what I've been waiting for! Sombody pulled a knife and it wasn't me! Now maybe they'll forget my youthfull indescretion and....
Until.....
The situation was reminiscent of another incident, same promotion, different bar, suggesting that a pattern might be emerging...
Crapola!

 

by Buttonman
1-08-03
The plot thickens...
So all I have to do to get promoted to an inner circle of hell is create chaos in Professional Wrestling...
But there's so much chaos in Professional Wrestling now that I am having trouble coming up with an original idea.
Decisions are tough.
Well, for sure, I'm gonna need a gimmick. Dressed like this, it's gonna be hard to be subtle
Ahh.. How about "The Reaper..." Elegant, simple, subtle, a natural wrestling character... and I get to bring a weapon to the ring. Good manager gimmick. And now to form my tag team.
An unexpected visitor in the bedroom kicks off the saga of The Hellfire Club...
I'm forming a new tag team called "The Hellfire Club"
I am THE JACKSON! I don't fly that way. I am 1/3 of The Ebony Blondes. I don't hang out with guys wearing sheets. Why are you in my bedroom anyhow. Get out before I have to hurt you.

 

by Buttonman
1-08-03
Gulf Coast Wrestling's #1 fan waxes sentimental...
I have more than 300 videotapes of Pensacola area Professional Wrestling....
I've been to every XW-2000 show, every PWA show, some WFW shows and at least one Global Championship Wrestlingship show....
I have T - shirts of most of my favorite wrestlers, and coffee mugs, even though I don't drink coffee, and posters and ...
I truly love wrestling. I love it when they yell at each other and I love it when they body slam each other...I especially like it when Miss Passion wrestles. She's the cutest wrestler I know...
Happy 21st Birthday to Pensacola Super Fan , Eric Turner. Guess what, Eric, Professional Wrestling loves you more than you know...
So Buttonman, you're in charge of this comic strip. Why don't you introduce me to a girl instead of having me just go on and on like this?
You rang?

 

by Buttonman
1-10-03
The Reaper is recruiting workers...
...So all you have to do is sign the contract, Butch and you can be a superstar in the world of professional Wrestling..
Sign name....?
I'll be your manager. I get 90% of what you get and you get 10%!
Like I can't do math....
Maybe you're not cut out for Tage Team Action, Butch. Come to think of it, I should probably just go now.
Fresh manager.....

 

by Buttonman
1-11-03
Reaper is finally making some progress...
Listen, bud, I'm a manager, see, and I'm forming a tag team that will eventually capture all the important belts on the Gulf Coast. What's your name?
I'm Kyle Fabian, but my wrestling name is K-Fabian. I can do a hispanic thing - YO, ESSAY! I can do Cajum - I GARONTEA! I can hit the ropes and take a closeline and ...
OK. Here's what you have to do. Change your hait color every six weeks, add a beard in different shapes and type on the Internet a lot.
Hmm... tuff assignment, but I think I might be up to it.
Partial success.
OK, one down and one to go. That promotion is in the bag

 

by Buttonman
1-11-03
Success for Reaper is so close, he can already smell the promotion to an inner circle of Hell...
That looks like a good gimmick. How'd you like to team up with K-Fabian to form a new tag team, The Hellfire Club.
I already have a gig but perhaps my assembly-line mate, Tobor would be interested. I'll call him for you. You can meet him in the park.
Later, at the park...
My name is TOBOR, where do I sign?
Just a minute, pal, I can't sign a machine. Rules won't allow it...
I NEVER take the gimmick off in public! I assure you though, I am Flesh and blood underneath all this impenetratable steel. My name is TOBOR. That stands for Totally Operational Badass Odd Robot.
Good name for a heel.

 

by Buttonman
1-14-03
As a manager, reaper seems to know his stuff.
So how about booking my new tag team for next show. I call them "The Hellfire Club" they are the cream of the crop.
Well ok. Let's take a look at them. New blood always spices up a show.
There's the little matter of pay...
It is to laugh
Also, my boys should have top billing on the poster.
Are they heels or babyfaces?

 

by Buttonman
1-14-03
Unbeknownst to The Reaper, things are stirring in Heaven.
Get ye down to the earth right away. Something's going on in Professional Wrestling that could upset the entire balance between Law And Chaos in the whole Universe!
No problem, Boss. What did Vince McMahon do now?
This is far more serious than a little necrophillia in the WWF. It looks like one of Satan's minions has infiltrated an independent show.
Dude, you're right. I have to immediately go and set things straight. Indy wrestling is the last bastion of goodness and purity and goodness on earth,
What a mark!

 

by Buttonman
1-14-03
You just never who you're going to meet.
Hey YO! Aren't you a dragon?
I'm not just any dragon, Timmy, I'm a spokesdragon for the new comic and game store, Dragon's Lair.
Spokesdragon? What's a spokesdragon? is that anything like being on TV?
Well, not exactly. It means that I've been hired by Dragon's Lair Comix and Games to tell everybody about the new store on Saufley Field Road just up from Micky D's at Mobile Highway.
So you're like a Corporate Shill...
Beats kidnapping princesses and being slain by anal retentive heroes.

 

by Buttonman
1-14-03
As conversation goes, talking with a dragon has its ups and downs.
Once upon a time, a long time ago.....
WHOA! Hold up! Hold up! Are you getting ready to tell me your life story?
It's just a little bit of dragon wisdom....
DUDE! Keep it short, I've got skateboarding this afternoon.
OK, which came first, the dragon or the egg?
So. Pee Wee Herman is alive in his universe too.

 

by Buttonman
1-18-03
Gramma, can I go to the Alabama Wrestling Federation show on Sunday, Feb 2?
Where's the show gonna be, sonny?
At the Sahara Club in Mobile, Alabama, Sunday, February 2, Bell Time 7:00, featuring many of The Gulf Coast's favorite wrestlers.
This is a shameless promo isn't it?
Uh.... yes.
I'll show you what smackdown is you young whippersnapper!

 

by Buttonman
1-25-03
Angel is on assignment from God
I've come down to audition for your promotion
What's your gimmick?
I fight evil and slay demons wherever they appear.
Well, the undercard is a little weak right now, what with Jackson's injury and the plunging price of tech Stocks.
GOOD shal PREVAIL!!!
Why do I get ALL the psychos?

 

by Buttonman
1-25-03
Angel gets acquainted.
It looks like I'm the opening match tonight, Butch.
Wings....?
I'm looking for my opponent, have you seen him, kid?
So, another Adrian Street costume. Maybe I need to go out and see him...
Oh, there you are. Bell time in 15 minutes.
TOBOR is hallucinating again. Must resist all urges...

 

by Buttonman
1-28-03
It's a 3 way dance - Angel vs The Hellfire Club, featuring TOBOR, K-fabian and managed by The Reaper. Tobor and Angel kick things off.
Tobor will stretch you like a rubber band...
I am the babyface... I am the babyface... Just keep thinking that...
Where is Stone Cold when you really need him?
You cannot defeat TOBOR!
Ow...! Punching a robot produces hand pain. OW! Groin shots are no better... OW, My FOOT
I'm winning...
Dammed Angel dented my crotch. I'm tagging out.

 

by Buttonman
2-02-03
Susie was worried. Granny had vanished...
Yo, Granny! Where was you tonight. I knocked on your door and everything and you wasn't home at all!
I was in Mobile at The Sahara Club, watching Robert Gibson mop up the floor with Bobby Fuller Junior. Then I bought a pocket knife and a Stone Cold Poster from Buttonman and came home.
I heard Riky Idol got trounced by Jayce Darkheart and poor Riki had to wear a dress.
OMAGAWD! He has uggggly legs. Come to think of it he has big feet...
So. Are we on for bowling next week?
Heck no. I'll be at the Alabama Wrestling Federation show at The Sahara Club. They run every week now. And That Dwayne Henderson is kinda cute. I'm gonna jump his bones... I'm just old, not dead.;

 

by Buttonman
3-03-03
Inside Kory Jackson's head, a war is being waged.
I am The Jackson, the team playa.
No you're not.
I wrestle! I fight BIG guys. I LOVE all the girls. I am THE JACKSON!
Nope. Not true
What the hell are you talking about. I know who I am, what I do, what I like. I even know where I will wrestle next.
No you don't. You're having an identity crisis. You're confused. You've shaved all your hair. You're a mess.

 

by Buttonman
3-03-03
War is hell. War inside you head can be confusing
Who are you to tell me that I am a mess. I just came back from a long and satisfying weekend of wild and passionate..well you know.
Yes I do know because I am your worst enemy. I am you.
O yeah? Take that you KRACKA! I'll teach you to disrespect me. Eat fist PunK!
You can't WIN Jackson. I am YOU and I'll kick your A$$! Take THAT....
Bless me father..... Ughhh my head hurts
No it doesn't...

 

by Buttonman
3-05-03
On a Florida back road between Pensacola and Mobile a random stop has nailed a suspect.
Let's see... your name is Vortex, you're a pro wrestler and you're on you way to Chickasaw, alabama to fight an all out war with a guy named Ace?
Ahhh, yup
A deputy does his duty...
And you'll be using ladders, chairs, road signs, trash cans, pie pans and other stuff like I see here in your truck. Got a receipt for all these weapons?
Ahhh, nope.
In a jail somewhere in Florida...
YOU GUYS ARE LETTING ME OUT IN TIME FOR THE MATCH, RIGHT?

 

by Buttonman
3-06-03
Bunny! Why do you hang around with that Jackson fellow anyhow? I am a better lover and a better wrestler!
Dude! You're wearing a mask! How do I know that you are really better than Kory?
I have a hockey stick stick that says I am a treetop lover!
Come to Bunny, Baby!
Why do I, Rikki Idol, the world's handsomest wrestler, have to wear this $%^*& rabbit suit to compete in the Battle Royal?
Sorry Rikki, I just dumped you for a kid in a hockey mask. He was ALL that and you are just a sad old man in a rabbit suit.

 

by Buttonman
3-06-03
Bunny sorts out he feelings
I am sorry Kory, I have to dump you for a kid with a hockey stick
I am The Jackson, The TEAM HOCKEY PLAYA. Master of disguise!
You mean that was YOU in the Hockey mask???
It WAS The Jackson! I was trying to prove a point!
That you have a BIG hockey stick?
Oh yeahhhhh!

 

by Buttonman
3-07-03
Yo,YO! Buttonman! How come you been slakin on the cartoons? Nothin' to write about?
People don't want dry sattire anymore. They want the cartoons to be raw and realistic. Sex, drugs, politics, you know. Some people are saying that wrestling is passe' compared to, say, war in Iraq
So. The Rock's turned heel. Stone Cold is back in the WWE and Kory Jackson's bald! How is that not relevant?
It just seems to me that whether Triple H wins the belt yet again at Wrestlemainia is trivial compared to the life or death combat that our soldiers will be facing.....
But that's what they're fighting for... Every American's right to be trivial and inconsequential. Surely you see that.
Why me God?

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