All comics by Spankling

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by Spankling
10-04-02
It's no use, piss-boy. You are just too low-class to fit in with my life. I don't even want your corpse around. Be gone.
Thank you! I'll never darken your door again!
*Sniff*

 

by Spankling
10-04-02
Good afternoon, sir or madam. Could I interest you in...
Your bottom.
I... what?
Your bottom. It's so...
The next word out of your mouth better be REAL fuckin' flattering.
It WAS gonna be... But I don't think I like your tone!

 

by Spankling
10-04-02
That's it. I don't need this.
Lord! Hold me back!
Why you!
OucH! Let go of that! OK! I'll buy whatever you're selling! Please stop!
Thanks for your order, potato-face. I'll keep your wallet and max out your cards for payment. Good luck gettin your feet out of your ass.
Bless you.

 

by Spankling
10-04-02
What have you done with my friend?
Done? Nothing. I gave her 5 dollars and asked her to take a walk. You mind?
Depends? You got 5 dolla for me too?
Sure missy. Sure.
Then I guess you can stick around. But no sucky! You too freaky.
Drat!

 

by Spankling
10-04-02
So what do you do during these lulls?
Shut up.
*sigh*

 

by Spankling
10-04-02
Can I ask you a question?
*sigh* Go ahead, freak.
What are you looking at?
You don't see all the big handsome studs out there? They're eyes are walking all over me!
You mean that pasty kid in Scotland? What is that he's greasing his hand with?

 

by Spankling
10-04-02
I think it is time for you to go.
But I have so many more questions.
GO! Freak!
*boo hoo*
Where the hell have you been?
Let's just say that when he gets home he is gonna wonder at the smile on the face of his wife.

 

by Spankling
10-04-02
DON'T YOU EVER KNOCK?!?
Can it sis. Say, why are you grabbin yourself like that?
I'm checking for lumps. Now get out of my room.
Hell, I can see your lumps from here.
Well I bet you didn't see these lumps coming!
Ooof! Okay, I'll leave and let you get back to your grope-feast!

 

by Spankling
10-04-02
Hello. *grope grope* Are you the lady of the house? *grope*
Uhhhh.... yeah. Say what are you doing with your hands in your pockets?
Just keeping my fingers warm, miss *grope*. You see, I'm a professional breast examiner.
Get real! I'm not letting you near my balloons.
But it'll just cost you $20, take 20 minutes, and I even throw in sexual favors for free!
Well, why didn't you say so! Come on in!

 

by Spankling
10-04-02
Well, I'm off to my breast exam class!
You go to a class for that?
Oh yeah. The instructor shows us how to make it more than an obligation. He brings out the fun!
Sounds good! I'll join you!
Later, In Class
Now feel around with that top hand girls. And remember, this is the advanced class! I want to see that lower hand stay_busy,_just_like_mine_is.

 

by Spankling
10-04-02
Could you describe the lump that was on your breast, miss?
Yes. He was wearing boxers and carrying a beer.
Are you sure he's gone?
Oh yes. Quite sure.
Mind if I have a look for myself?
I have a stun gun in this purse I've been dying to try, fat-boy.

 

by Spankling
10-05-02
Trick or Treat!
Trick, please!
Smell me feet! Give me something good to eat!
What? Could you be the girl of my dreams?
If you don't, I don't care. I'll pull down your underwear!
That's it! I'm taking you home to mother!

 

by Spankling
10-05-02
grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope
grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope grope
Jesus! Finally done for another month! What do flat chested women do with all the free time THEY have between self-exams?

 

by Spankling
10-06-02
HEY MOMMY! WHAT 'ER YOU DOIN'?
JESUS! ... What has mommy said about knocking before you come in here? And please use your indoor voice.
Sorry. Why is my teacher touching you like that?
Oh... well. He is just helping mommy with her monthly exam. I'll tell you more about it when you start developing breasts. Now run along.
That was close. But while she's on our minds, can I assume you'll let the little idiot get an "A" this year?
Only if I start getting one right now. Turn around and bend over.

 

by Spankling
10-06-02
My GOD! You're an ANIMAL!
You know what they say. Once you beak, it's the only good freak.
That didn't even make any sense. What the hell are you trying to say?
Who care. Let's start flapping feathers again.
Uh... no offense, but that last round was lacking. I think I'll just....
Just shut up and snort this.

 

by Spankling
10-07-02
MY GOD! WHAT A HUGE LUMP I FOUND!!!
Nice of you to notice.

 

by Spankling
10-07-02
I'm glad that's over.
It looks like you're trying to expresse the knowledge of a supreme egoism, in which laws wither away. How may I help?
I can see my house from here!
I see mine under that tire.

 

by Spankling
10-07-02
Sheathe your dagger: Be angry when you will, it shall have scope;
Do what you will, dishonour shall be humour.
O Cassius, you are yoked with a lamb That carries anger as the flint bears fire;
Who, much enforced, shows a hasty spark,
And straight is cold again.
(DANCING!)

 

by Spankling
10-08-02
Republican
Slip Baucus a veggie burger.
Republican robots debate again 12.09.99. WTO x MTV = WTF
Fish
1, Fish No. 2, Fish No. ... Food. Apple, Bananas, Beer.
Earn your right to eat a burger, then you have an ... I like sushi, not because of the nutrients in the fish and ... I've found that I raised a republican.
Burger
Volunteer David Burger and his daughter help Senator ... alternatives.
Breaks for the rich -- I just really, *really* hate James Carville."

 

by Spankling
10-08-02
Hmmm... there's a juicy bit of stuff, eh Mr. Woody?
LET ME AT HER! LET ME AT HER! LET ME AT HER! LET ME AT HER!
Just don't make eye contact...

 

by Spankling
10-08-02
KER-CHANGE!!!!

 

by Spankling
10-09-02
We don't need no stinking pretty bottle to eat chocolate off your thighs. I got a recipe for hot cocoa right here.
YOU ARE NOT POURING BOILING CHOCOLATE ON MY BODY!
OK. Then maybe you can sit in this box full of strawberries for a while. I love strawberry!
Well.... Maybe...
But first, will you pull the rest of the long stemmed roses out of my ass. The thorns are killing me.
Why can't we just fuck and shower and go watch TV?

 

by Spankling
10-09-02
C'mon Adventure Boy! Don't you want to find out what it's like to be the bottom? Let me and Mr. Fleshy here show you a good time!
Yeah! A good time!
His sphincter clenched tight.
Maybe you and that talking strap-on should find another victim.

 

by Spankling
10-10-02
Nice Tie! You beat up a clown for it?
Nice head. You find it in a dock-side garbage can?
You are one insensitive lout, you know that?
Fine Mr. Compassionate Shark Head. Will stuffing this new tie my grandmother gave me up my ass make you_feel_any_better?

 

by Spankling
10-10-02
S... T... X... U... NO! V!...
WRONG!!! Next line, please.
uh... O? or maybe D?
NOT EVEN CLOSE!!! Now do you believe that it makes you go blind?
Maybe I'm far sighted! Maybe I should stand back from the wall.

 

by Spankling
10-11-02
Okay Lady, can you tell us...
which of these men fell to the...
ground and licked your feet?
I have been SOOOO set up!

 

by Spankling
10-11-02
Wow! That's my wife!
I gotta report this! I'm gonna have her ass dumped in the slammer!
Right after I watch this again and take her like that guy just did!

 

by Spankling
10-11-02
Have you received GOD into your life?
Because, you know, only those that have accepted GOD...
*sigh*
What I have is a big freezer and a box full of zip lock bags with your name on em.

 

by Spankling
10-18-02
I am a woman trapped in a man's body.
Spanks, just because you are always the bottom, and just because I just took you up the ass with a strap on doesn't make you a woman!
Are you sure?
We... Maybe a kinky, submissive lesbian with a hormone imbalance. So what does that make me?
MAGNIFICENT! [grovel]

 

by Spankling
10-18-02
Tom Thumb and I were doin the hot-nasty for hours last night!
Oh boy! Spill the beans Thumbolina! Is Tom a little stud?
He used to be, until I got all excited and started fisting him up his... up his... you know...
Rectum?
Oh yeah. I tore his ass all the way up to his neck. He's totally fucked.
Too much information!

 

by Spankling
10-19-02
Candy? Is that you! You look horrible, girl!
Maura? Oh... This is embarrassing. I was just going door to door looking for someone... I mean something to eat...
But you were so popular in high school! What the hell happened to you over the years.
Hey! You wouldn't look so good if you averaged 6.5 money shots in the kisser every day for the last ten years!
I suppose. So what do you want?
You wanna sit on my face? I'll do it for a sandwich.

 

by Spankling
10-20-02
Okay. I told you her name. Now give me back my Rainbow Bright dolls!
Okay sis, but if you expect to see Pretty Pony ever again, tell me how to hack a geocity site.
Stuff the pony up your ass sub. I'm ashamed to be your little sister.
How did she know where I was keeping it?

 

by Spankling
10-20-02
So what do you want? Ham and Mayo okay?
Sure. You want me on my knees or layng on the floor?
Remember when you made out with my boyfriend during studyhall back in 1985?
This bitch is gonna grind my skull.

 

by Spankling
10-20-02
That was... WOW! I don't blame my boyfriend for taking his shot at you back then! I'm glad I had mine!
Call it a gift. Can I have that ham sandwich now?
Well... actually... I lied. I need to make a grocery run.
You are shitting me! I just spent 2 hours on my knees for you!
No matter. Just go let my dog Fang hump your face and I'll let you have some of his dry dog food.
You should really try to let old grudges go. You know that?

 

by Spankling
10-20-02
*sigh* You're right! I've been wanting to kill you for so long. And here you come in and give me such pleasure and ask for little in return.
Yeah. About that. What kind of dogfood are you offering?
NO! I can't let you eat that shit! OH! I'm gonna cry!
Hey! Come back! Don't lock yourself in the bathroom! Where do you keep the dogfood?!?
Fuck, I'm starving! Why did I have to ball what's his name so long ago?
Candy! What are you doing in my house? Better yet, if my wife has locked herself in the bathroom, why aren't we in the bedroom?

 

by Spankling
10-20-02
Wow. He's just as inept as I remembered! But at least he came in my mouth. Protean at last!
That made me feel like a kid again, even if you are missing some teeth and smell like my wife's ass.
Well there would be a reason for that. Say, do you have any food I can have FAST! I would like to be gone before she unlocks that door.
Sure! Grab that bag of Kennel Chow by the back door as you head out. And would you mind hopping a few fences? I'm respectable.
Haw! Sacked that bitch twice and my stupid hole wife will never know.

 

by Spankling
10-20-02
Maura! You're done blubbering already? What set you off this time?
Oh... ah... I met an old friend. *snif* Say... is that white trash red #7 lipstick on your fly?
WHAT? That fumbling whore! I mean... uh...
YOU DID HER AGAIN? DAMNIT I WANTED TO DO HER AGAIN!
I just came back to tell you I killed and ate yer dog, fuckwhistles. Have a nice life.

 

by Spankling
10-22-02
Matthew 21:2: Saying unto them, Go into the village over against you, and straightway ye shall find an ass tied, and a colt with her: loose them, and bring_them_unto_me.
And then she will tie him onto the ass ride them both.
John 12:14: And Jesus, when he had found a young ass, sat thereon!
Yeah, he like sittin on them young ones.
2 Corinthians 11:20: For ye suffer, if a man bring you into bondage, if a man devour you, if a man take of you, if a man exalt himself, if a man_smite_you_on_the_face.
Bitch!

 

by Spankling
10-23-02
You... you actually hacked him up! And you gave the pieces to us to play with!
No biggie. I was done.
Hey look mom! I'm a celeb!
[grovel]

 

by Spankling
10-27-02
Honey, I'm home! And I brought home some new tastier Fuck! You wanna try some with me?
No thanks, honey. I picked up some on my way home and I'm all full! Keep it for yourself!
Got THAT right!

 

by Spankling
10-27-02
Mom, I got a problem... Ever since I went bouncing with Bobbie in his Chevy van my crotch itches and it hurts when I pee!
Bobbie McSurdy? That black chevy down by the bowling alley?
Yeah... You know him?
Know him? I gave him that bug! But I just used New Improved Tide in a turkey baster to clean it out.
Gosh Mom, I'm so lucky to have bonded with you!
Yeah... Lucky. About that sleep-over next week. Why don't you invite that nice Stevey boy. He looks to be hung like a sea turtle.

 

by Spankling
10-27-02
Men, are you tired of being made fun of because you have less hair than a billiard ball?
Say peaches, wanna...
Could you cover that shine, please? You're breaking the mood, Mr. Bulb Head.
Tired of being shone up by all those left-wing freaks?
I believe in your cause! Way to...
Like, yer scalp is a leading cause of global warming, dude. Cover it.
Do what millions before you have done!
God that felt good!
Like I didn't see this coming.

 

by Spankling
10-27-02
I heard about this guy. Stay away from him if you value dry footwear.
Wow! A real perv? My daddy told me there were guys like this. So... how do you get him started?
*GULP* First Father Macintyer and now this!
Don't let him scare you kids. He looks like a piece of cake to me.
I'm going to need new knee pads.

 

by Spankling
10-27-02
What a day. Work sucks. My life is shit. But at least I'm home and I can relax.
Our son raped me today and declared himself a man. I would have fought more but the motion was good. Your dinner is in the oven.
Why doesn't she meet me at the door wrapped in suran wrap like mom used to?
I wonder if little Bobby will do me again tonight if I wear my baking apron, some high heels and nothing else...
Son... we need to talk.
No freebies dad! You wanna know how to get mom hot you gotta pay just like everyone else.

 

by Spankling
10-27-02
Hello Julie.
Mr. Gordon! What are you doing here? Do you need a sitter for Bobby again?
No. It's just that they're is trouble at home. You see... Bobby... He...
He banged Mrs. Gordon and now she doesn't want anything to do with you?
What!?! Well... yeah. But how did you...
Bobby is the bomb! The only reason I let you touch me after him is because you pay me. Speaking of which, do you wanna head out_to_your_car_now?

 

by Spankling
10-27-02
Bobby tells me you've been blowing him while we paid you to babysit him over the past few years.
Blow. Fuck. Whatever he wants. I'm pretty much putty in your son's hands Mrs. Gordon.
How do I put this?
Shoot me if I ever get that old.
He sent me to learn that "Around the World" thing you do.
'K. It'll cost the same as for your husband - $6 an hour.

 

by Spankling
10-27-02
Okay son, I learned around the world from Julie - she's a WONDERFUL girl by the way.
Is she still here? I wanna see you two get busy!
Oh... I'm sorry son. She just left. Did you want to watch?
Watch my two main bitches rolling on the floor? What the fuck do you THINK MOM!!
HONEY! How sweet! You haven't called me a "main bitch" since you were 10!
Tell! Me! You! Taped! It!

 

by Spankling
10-27-02
I give up son. I just want my wife back. Or Julie. I don't care which. What will it take.
Hmmm... I DO have a friend who has wanted you for some time....
You... You would fix me up?
Wait right here! I'll get 'em. You make this one happy and I'll tell mom to give you a pitty fuck next Tuesday.
I should have negotiated for a couple hours with Julie.
Mr. G., I been dreamin about reamin you for years. Drop and deliver white collar man!

 

by Spankling
10-27-02
So there I was with Bobby up my ass while I took your husband with the strap-on, Mrs. Gordon.
And that's why he called it Puppet-fucking daddy?
CUT! That's it! Out of the pool!
Yeah. I mean, he might as well have been balling him directly...
Now what?
This has gone on long enough!
Thank god! This has got to be his worst series to date!

 

by Spankling
10-28-02
Yer RAM is so puny you forget yer own BIOS.
Yer UI is so old they updated it with punchcards.
Yer OS has a UNIX UI and a Ferbie Kernal.
Yeah... well yer box is so old yer 5 and 1/4 inch floppy... uh...
I would say that yer maw is a toaster oven, but she aint that hot.
*whimper* DON'T BE TALKIN' 'BOUT MY AS400!!

Showing page 9.

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