Well, they made me laugh.

Honorable Ninja Used Cars (1) by mmyers 11-03-03

Here at Honorable Ninja Used Cars, there is no high pressure sales, no hassel. In fact, you may not know our sales ninjas are there at all. I wonder if I should get the Kia in red or black? And there's no sales slip on it telling me how much it is. Where is everyone? I wish there was someone around who could tell me how much this black car is! *Woosh* Wow, a bill for the car just appeared in my hands. Hey, 3.9% APR! That's a great deal. I'll take it. Thanks Honorable Ninja!

Honorable Ninja Used Cars (2) by mmyers 11-03-03

And at Honorable Ninja's, I will beat my competitor's best price. You get my lowest price first. It would be dishonorable not to give low prices. Hey Honorable Ninja! I just saw that Dodge Derango for $1000 less at Bob Rider Dodge. *Slice* Honorable Ninja will not be undersold by Bob Rider Dodge! Did you just cut off my arm? Because I'm having problems feeling my right arm now.

Honorable Ninja's Used Cars (3) by mmyers 11-03-03

Honorable Ninja will fight high prices to the death! High prices, I challenge you to stop being a coward and face me. You disgrace yourself. And Honorable Ninja has balloons and hot dogs for infants every Fourth of July, along with firecrackers that are illegal in the US. Honorable Ninja most big time high volume car super-star. Honorable Ninja, I'll kill myself if you are able to find a better deal. Master Honorable Ninja, I will sneak up on high prices and cut their throats. Domo arigato.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Number 1 and 2 were good, number 3 was brilliant.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

You forgot the part where he TOTALLY FLIPS OUT and KILLS EVERYONE. Ninjas are TOTALLY KEWL!!!

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Poop.

*Thumbs up* *Bows* *NEEEEEEEEEENJA VANISH*

This is one of those ideas that is so good I'm depressed I didn't think of it first. :)

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

You could use one of the many other colorful characters and have them sell cars.

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Poop.

Honorable Ninja Used Cars (4) by mmyers 11-04-03

Our ordering ninja has dishonored himself by ordering too many 2003 model cars. Now, his reason to commit suicide is your reason to commit savings. We are jam backed and must make room for our 2004 models that are arriving next weekend. Prices have been drastically chopped. Come see me, Honorable Ninja, were I am coming out of the shadows when they are least expecting it to strangle high prices with piano wire. Syanara!

I think there are tons of ideas to be mined out of the (insert strange character here) Used Cars. The ninja thing just cracked me up because it's so obvious when salespeople are around on a carlot, but I say, hey, if you've got any other car dealer comics, post 'em here. Let's start a movement!

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Anakin Skywalker: Used Car Salesman (from #stripcreator) by jes_lawson 4-02-03

Int: Jedi Auto Sales, Tatooine Uh, this dealership is a bit creepy...Lemme see some identification! *You don't need to see my identification...* ...*I don't need to see your identification*... Hmm...I sense a strong credit rating in this one. This Imperial Chrysler, or that Mercedes-Benz TIE-Fighter are excellent runners, sir... They look a bit beat-up, and I can only really afford that X-Wing Mini over there, and *ack!* *choke!* I find your lack of faith disturbing. Now, step this way, as we turn to the Dark side of the Fords...

Anakin Skywalker: Used Car Salesman - on holiday by jes_lawson 5-05-03

Anakin! Why weren't you at work yesterday? I was on holiday - it was International Jedi Day! Oh god! Don't tell me... Yep! May The 4th be with you!

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Honorable Ninja (and Son) Used Cars (5) by mmyers 11-07-03

Here at Honorable Ninja and Son Used Cars, low prices and assassination are our game. We've got a sneaky deal on a new Eclipse... Dad, I feel ridiculous in this outfit. Can't I wear my FUBU jumpsuit instead? No! FU-BOO is a disgrace to your ninja heritage! Your grandfather did not wear FU-BOO, he wore ninja garb. Your great grandfather did not... Man, this is bullshit. I'm outta here, for shizzle. A ninja does not walk away from someone, he disappears! You throw a smoke grenade this instant! Don't you hide in those bushes.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

mmyers is most brilliant ninja. He can kill you 78 ways with a paperclip. Honorable Ninja Used Cars is the most recent funniest thing EVAR.

jes is snatching no pebbles though, currently.

/smoke grenade
:poof

KCF

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

Ninja {and Son) is my favorite :D

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Much to learn have I.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Just when you think it's over, Honorable Ninja sneaks up and pimp smacks you with his nun-chucks.

Toby Keith for Ford trucks (the commercial I'd like to see) by mmyers 11-20-03

I'm a Ford truck man! That's all I drive! I'm a Ford truck man! Toby Keith, you disgrace yourself with your glad handing and opportunistic flag waving for this over priced vehicle! *knife to the throat* Honorable Ninja suggests that you spend the remainder of the 7 minutes that Ford purchased to sponsor '24' to contemplate inner peace. Oop, almost forgot, Honorable Ninja Used Cars located in Car City, one mile north of Jack in the Box. Domo arigato.

Cowboy Physic's Chevrolet by mmyers 11-20-03

Hoo-wee! Here at Cowboy Physic's Chevy, we are slashing prices. These Chevy trucks won't sell themselves that's why... Stop! You disgrace yourself with high prices! Honorable Ninja has soiled himself in amusement! There is only one solution, we must battle on the astral plane. Astral plane? What the fuck are you talking about? I am talking about the end of your spiritual essense and high finance charges. Ryu-Ken! Enter the Ninja, Honorable Ninja Used Cars, that is. And illegal immigrants remember, we hablo Mexican. Honorable Ninja used Cars, fighting on the Astral Plane for your business.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Best. Use. Of. In-Joke. Ever.

Until the next time I say that, but this was still the dog's, made me laugh hard, and will still make me laugh in about a hundred years when people find fossilised Cowboy Physics stickers on the handrails of the escalators of the London Underground.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Just in time for Christmas.

Honorable Ninja for the holidays by mmyers 12-22-03

Mush mushi from Honorable Ninja, just in time for the holidays. I am here with the undisciplined harbinger of toys, the gaijin Santa Claus. Ho ho ho! That's right Honorable Ninja, I'm here at your car lot and I'm giving balloons to the kids! Ho ho! Honorable Ninja wonders how you are able to sneak up on small children with your loud colors and rotund belly. How can you call yourself a ninja, Santa san? I...I don't call myself a ninja...I-I'm an elf. And you believe your elven magic to be stronger than mine, Samwise Gamgee? I laugh at your elf magic...except for the E.L. Fudge cookies. Honorable Ninja does not laugh at those. This has just gotten really weird. Can we get my agent on the horn?

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

PURE. COMIC. GOLD.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

I DEMAND MORE HONORABLE NINJA!

*poop*

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

Honorable Ninja sent these my way. He gave them to me, then threw down a smoke grenade. The office is still clearing the smoke.

Revenge is a dish best served cold by mmyers 1-16-04

Hey, I'm Pete, your sales associate. I see you're looking at that car. What can I do to get you to drive off the lot with it today? Let me talk to my boss and see if he'll come off the sticker price. Dude, fuck off. I'm just looking around for a cheap car. Quit following me. Go away. Fuck this, man. I'm outta here. Salesguy Pete 35 years later... Hey Pete, now that you're retiring, why don't you help out a younger sales guy and tell me your secret to selling all those cars. Relentless hounding, my friend. I follow them around the lot, yelling facts and figures at them. I make them buy or I make them leave. I...I don't feel so good. I think I've been poisoned! *Dies* Here at Honorable Ninja Used Cars, we feel that high pressure sales are dishonorable and shame themselves. That's why I personally hunt down and kill high pressure sales people. It's just Honorable Ninja way of saying he appreciate your business. He also does this by urinating on their graves. It's that bit of extra attention that you get at Honorable Ninja.

Honorable Ninja Used Cars by mmyers 1-16-04

Domo consumers. In trying to understand your customs, I'm celebrating MLK Day. In honor of MLK san, black vehicles will require no money down, and I will have balloons for African American infants. *whisper whisper* Ah, my producer has informed that he feels this might be improper to give only balloons to black children, so at great personal cost, I will have balloons for all children. These balloons will be dispensed in two lines, one for white children and one for black children in order to save time. Fear not, the lines will be seperate but equal.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Return of *GONG!* by AtheistDiary 1-16-04

YAY! MORE HONORABLE NINJA COMICS! YES! MUCH REJOICING! Wanna fuck? Sure, bend over.

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

Happy Groundhog Day from Honorable Ninja by mmyers 2-02-04

Greeting, mass consumers. Honorable Ninja wishing you happy Groundhog's day. Just as this disease infested rodent hides in the shadows to predict your weather patterns... So too does Honorable Ninja hide in the shadows. But Honorable Ninja predicts 6 more weeks of savings on all 2003 model Fords. Don't leave your lives in the hands of rodents, leave them in the deadliest hands in used cars. Honorable Ninja Used Cars, where only the deals are lethal.

Happy belated St Patty's Day from Honorable Ninja by mmyers 3-18-04

Greetings mass consumers of green beer and plastic hats. Honorable Ninja here to wish you happy Honorable Patrick's Day. March 17 finds Honorable Ninja in good spirits due to the mysterious death of his chief rival, Bill Heard of Heard Chevrolet. For this, we are offering 6% APR on all green cars. Hey, Honorable Ninja, you're not wearing any green! That means I get to pinch ya. Attempt to pinch Honorable Ninja and see if your hand does not return to you with several digits missing, just like Honorable Ninja's prices have several less digits. Domo.

He seems to prefer to appear during the holidays.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Props to Honorable Ken Kaufman for improving my punchline on the new one. He gets a gold chinese star.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

"The mind of a man is weakest at times of festivity. It is here that one can slip in like the wind, blinding him with great discounts on extended warranty"

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Older stuff that may have snuck past you.

Happy April Incompetence Day by mmyers 4-02-04

Hey Honorable Ninja, Ken Nugent Honda has the 2004 Accord Acura TL for $3000 below sticker price. Can you beat that deal? $3000 below sticker price? This deal seems highly faulted. Honorable Ninja would be accepting a great loss at that price yet I dishonor myself by not beating it. Ha-ha, April Fool's Day, Honorable Ninja. You fell for it. Haha! ??????? If one entrusts his business to a fool, Both the fool and the business will collapse. If a fox were elected king, Both the fox and the king would be destroyed. Domo, flaming one, for reminding me.

Honorable Ninja Used Cars by mmyers 4-20-04

Mush-mushi. Honorable Ninja here to remind you that, just as the pebble is unchanged by the river, only moved by it, just as... Every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn, just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song. Every rose... Just as the winds continue to blow...Honorable Ninja is very sorry but he cannot concentrate with Bret Michaels singing. *knife to Bret's throat* Honorable Ninja promises two things. One, the best in automotive values, and two, no more cross promotion with 80s rock stars...well, maybe the Scorpions. Domo.

and a newer one.

Can you say "Honorable Ninja?" by mmyers 5-10-04

Come on, son, can you say "Hemi"? "Hemi"? Hem...e. Hemi. *Poof* Can you say "Over priced, gas guzzling, rolling symbol for a tiny phallus"? (up, down, up, block, A) *pulls out heart* Gluck...I just wanted...people to think...I was a big shot. *dies* Honorable Ninja Used Cars, open 8 to 8 so don't be late. You are wise beyond your years, post fetus. Domo.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Something for the Mothers.

Happy Matriarch's Day from Honorable Ninja (1) by mmyers 5-10-04

In honor of National Matriarch's Day, we've hired my mother to interact with me, with hilarious and uncomfortable results assured. Son, the name Honorable Ninja makes no sense. No car salesman is honest, ninja or otherwise. They all just want to get your money. I should roundhouse kick you right in the ass for those dishonorable comments, woman who expelled my ninja body through her vagina. Let me tell you, son, over at Honorable Samurai's used cars, he buys his mother a fur coat every year, and she lives in Florida! As it is Matriarch's Day, you shall live another day although I would have killed anyone else who shamed me so. Happy Fertile Woman Day. Why did you ever break up with Karen? You two were such a good couple. She was the only one who could tolerate your ninja and used car obsessions.

Happy Matriarch's day from Honorable Ninja (2) by mmyers 5-10-04

I have been instructed by my producer to inquire of the events of my birth, for a heart warming and tender effect. Oh, Honorable was a quiet little baby. In fact, during the labor, he was kicking and punching and karate chopping, then everything when strangely quiet. Everyone waited for him to come out, and the next thing we know, he had snuck out, slit the doctor's throat, did a double back flip, and cut his own umbilical chord with a throwing star. I was a little dickens. He also sold one of the nurses a 1967 Buick Skylark with only 27,000 miles fresh out of my tummy. I guess he had been making phone calls from inside my uterus.

Happy Matriarch's Day from Honorable Ninja (3) by mmyers 5-10-04

Tell them of my adolescense. Well, it seemed that there were a group of young boys who targeted Ninny to bully. He wasn't like the other boys and girls, being a ninja and all, so they picked on him. Inform them of the hilarious reprocussions that occured to my antagonizers. Well Ninny, always being an inventive lad, went and killed all of their families all the way down to their 2nd cousins, and spelled out a firm warning to the young boys in the blood of their kin. Hahaha! I had such a funny sense of humor back then! We laughed and laughed about that one! Hahahaha! And sure enough, they never messed with Ninny again. I think one of the boys even shot himself.

Happy Matriarch's day from Honorable Ninja (4) by mmyers 5-10-04

Well, mother, Honorable Ninja must admit that this has been a treat. In honor of our blood relation, we should both throw down smoke grenades and disappear. Let's do it, son. Domo! See ya soon, son. Fiddle sticks! I forgot my keys. Now I have to look through my purse for another smoke grenade.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

"I was a little Dickens"

Chortle! Fannytastic stuff m.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.