First off, Happy Webcomics Day!!!

Well, best get this started. The objective of this Competition is to remember the FTC's of yore. You are to take your favorite FTC (thats the easy part), use the winning comic, and continue that comic into a series!!

Sounds easy?

Yeah it is...

Now for the rules:
-A limit of five comics including the FTC you used.
-Any racist comics will ensure that you do not win.

And just for kicks:
Who's better, NOFX or Bad Religion???

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xx( o Y o. )xx

NOFX for sure :P

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- I am kuzin, hear me roar...

What the blue fuck? Bad Religion is way better. NOFX is cool, but Bad Religion blowns them the fuck away.

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"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

Do default asian girl jokes count as "racist comics"

CC 243: THE CLONES OF BRAD SCHWARTZ by biped 5-04-04

Mummy, can I have some pancakes? We have to wait for Daddy, sweetheart. He will be home any minute. 3 hours later... Where's Daddy? I want pancakes! Where the hell is he? Meanwhile, on the other side of town... The cloning process is almost complete, Mr. Schwartz. Soon, you will be released. Yes, well, this "cloning process" of which you speak is currently preventing both me and my family from eating delicious pancakes, sir.

CC 243: THE CLONES OF BRAD SCHWARTZ part II by biped 5-04-04

Human cloning is both illegal and immoral. But, more importantly, it's keeping me from eating the delicious pancakes. Oh, DASH the law! And DASH morality! Soon, the whole WORLD will enshrine me in the pantheon of scientific endeavor! But, what about the pancakes? I could be eating them right now. ENOUGH with the pancakes, you fool! I -- HARK! The timer just sounded! The clones are READY! So then, if we're done here, can I go home now and begin eating the pancakes? SHUT UP!

CC 243: THE CLONES OF BRAD SCHWARTZ part III by biped 5-04-04

FEAST YOUR EYES upon the triumphant culmination of my lifes's work! BEHOLD, the clones -- THE CLONES OF BRAD SCHWARTZ! I am Brad Schwartz. I am Brad Schwartz. I am Brad Schwartz. I am Brad Schwartz. Yes, yes, fine -- and now, I'm late for a date with a buttery stack of delicious, syrupy pancakes.

CC 243: THE CLONES OF BRAD SCHWARTZ part IV by biped 5-04-04

WAIT! WAIT! MY GLORIOUS CREATIONS! COME BACK! I COMMAND YOU! COME BACK! I love pancakes. I am Brad Schwartz. I love pancakes. I love pancakes. I am Brad Schwartz. I love pancakes. I love pancakes. I am Brad Schwartz. I love pancakes. I love pancakes. I am Brad Schwartz. I love pancakes. Gosh, I sure hope Jenny and Sally haven't eaten all of those delicious pancakes by now.

CC 243: THE CLONES OF BRAD SCHWARTZ part V by biped 5-04-04

Honey, I'm home. I hope we have enough pancakes for all of these clones that a scientist created using my DNA. Honey, I'm home. I am Brad Schwartz. I love pancakes. Honey, I'm home. I am Brad Schwartz. I love pancakes. Honey, I'm home. I am Brad Schwartz. I love pancakes. Mummy! Mummy! Look at all the Daddies! OH, MY GOD!!! Brad always likes to FUCK after he eats PANCAKES!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

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Now for the rules:
-A limit of five comics including the FTC you used.
-Any racist comics will ensure that you do not win.

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Wait a minute... I'm lost. We take the winning comic and expand on that? Or do we do biped's way and take the first two panels and expand on that?

I don't like Bad Religion or NOFX, but if I had to pick, it'd be BR.

Even though I'm not even entering this contest, Bad Religion all the way.

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Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

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Wait a minute... I'm lost. We take the winning comic and expand on that? Or do we do biped's way and take the first two panels and expand on that?

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nah, i got a second chance before, so go ahead

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xx( o Y o. )xx

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Wait a minute... I'm lost. We take the winning comic and expand on that? Or do we do biped's way and take the first two panels and expand on that?

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I read the rules too fast. Although to change my entry now would be to rob the world of the sublime greatness that I have wrought.

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Next of Sin by MikeyG 12-18-03

Happy Birthday, Jesus! Santa sends his love...and this present. That milk-swilling glory hound? Put it with the others. ...and I want a doggy, and another leg for Jimmy, and a seashell, and a Polly Perky Tits dolly, and... For the last time, I'm not Santa!! Now go play in Saddam's bunker. Jesus, I... Stop right there. I'm actually Bejesus, Jesus' bastard cousin. I can only turn bread into pumpernickel, water into wine coolers, and make the blind merely very near-sighted.

CC 243: The Legend of Bejesus by possums 5-05-04

Let me get this straight: You're basically the half-assed brother of Jesus. Yeah. God "immaculately screwed" another woman, only he came too quick and only stayed hard half the time. So God's a player, huh? Yeah, but he's been slowing down over time... His last kid was George W. Bush.

CC 243: The Legend of Bejesus Pt.II by possums 5-05-04

This aggravates me so much that I will swallow you whole! Ahhhh! No, my son! What would Bejesus do? You'd probably do the same. Good point. Eat away, kid.

CC 243: Bejesus Inside the Man's Stomach by possums 5-05-04

Inside... I bet Jonah's brother Bejonah never had this problem when that duck swallowed him... Outside... BOO! Ahhh! Great job.... You scared the Bejesus out of me!

CC 243: Bejesus, This Sucks! by possums 5-05-04

You have betrayed me, Bejudas, and now you must pay the ultimate price! Are you going to send me to hell? No, but when Bemartin Bescorsese remakes The Last Temptation of Christ, Beharvey Bekeitel is going to play you! No! Bebruce Bewillis would fit so much better!!!!

Well, that's the last you'll see of Bepossums for this competition.

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I could tell because I won that FTC.

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Possums, I usually don't like it when people take a concept of mine and run with it unless I offer it, but you'd have my vote. If this was that kind of contest, anyway. That was outSTANDing.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Yeah, apparently this series is doing quite well. Heck, even my English teacher likes it.

FTC 19: Show Us Your Tunes!!! by Rabid_Weasle 1-19-04

My GOD, that was the best show ever. Yeah, I can't believe they ended up detroying the whole city afterwards. Well, it's been a trademark of theirs. So, now that it's over, what you wanna do? I've always wanted to see West Side Story... What!? It was show tunes that got us into this mess in the first place!

CC 243: REAL Friends Aren't MEAN To Each Other, part one by biped 5-06-04

Well, if that's the way you feel about it...then FUCK YOU!!! No, fuck YOU, ASSHOLE!!! Heh...he's gone off to sulk. I really enjoy yanking his chain...he's such a sensitive little sissy-pants. *sniff* He was MEAN to me! And I thought we were FRIENDS, too! *sob* But we AREN'T...not ANYMORE!

CC 243: REAL Friends Aren't MEAN To Each Other, part two by biped 5-06-04

LOOK!!! Me found KITTY CAT!!! Yeah...*sniff*...me glad you found kitty cat. Boy, I hate that Biff guy so much. He sure is mean to me. Me GLAD you glad me found KITTY CAT!!! Yeah... *sob*...me glad you glad me glad you found kitty cat. Boy, I'd sure like to get back at that meanie, and...and hurt HIS feelings for a change. *choke* Six hours later... ...me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad... ...me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you found kitty cat. *sniff* He sure is mean... *sob*

CC 243: REAL Friends Aren't MEAN To Each Other, part three by biped 5-06-04

KITTY CAT wants to go HOME and drink some MILK now!!! BYE!!! Okay. Bye, Blaine. *sniff* I hope you still HAVE a home. But not HIM! *sob* I hope HIS home got BLOWN UP! And I hope HIS kitty cat got ki -- NO! NO! It isn't his poor little KITTY CAT'S fault that he's so MEAN. *sniff* I heard that. Can I come live with you from now on, instead of Biff? YES! YES! I'll be NICE to you! And not MEAN, like HIM! *sniff* And we'll be BEST FRIENDS, Fluffy!

CC 243: REAL Friends Aren't MEAN To Each Other, part four by biped 5-06-04

Look...Biff's dead. NO! NO! Now I feel BAD about saying all those BAD THINGS about him! And WISHING him ILL! OH, WAAA-HAAA-HAAA!!! *SOB!!!* Forty years later... WAAAAA!!!! *SNIFF!!!* HE DIDN'T MEAN TO BE SO MEAN!!! OH, BIFF!!! OH, I'M SO SORRY!!! WAAA-HAAAA!!!!! *CHOKE!!!* Dinner's ready. HE WAS NICE ON THE INSIDE!!! HE JUST DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO SHOW IT!!! OH BIFF!!! I'M SO VERY, VERY SORRY!!! WAAA-HAAAA!!! *SOB!!!* Mmm...*munch* ...the asparagus is a tad overdone...but I think you'll be pleased with the way the chops turned out...*chomp*

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

FTC 21: Masky by ElTigreMask2K 2-04-04

Daniel, I need to see those reports right now. Ah, the thing is, boss, I haven't actually done them yet. What? You'd better have a damn good excuse, Daniel. Well, what happened was... Daniel, why is it so bright? I feel a soothing calm coming over me. I have not finished the reports for I am the light of GOD! All shall be forgiven.

CC 243: A Damn Good Excuse, part one by biped 5-07-04

Ha-ha! Just kidding, boss...I'll get those reports to you first thing in the morning. See you then. How...how did you do that? How in the world did he do that? Everything went white, and I felt -- Hey, mister! Would you like to go for a ride in my interplanetary space cruiser? I certainly didn't know coyotes had interplanetary space cruisers, much less could actually pilot them. Captain to engineering! Prepare for interdimensional time-space transwarp acceleration! On my mark!

CC 243: A Damn Good Excuse, part two by biped 5-07-04

This is so thrilling! I can't believe I'm actually travelling in space, in this wonderful interplanetary -- Surprise, boss! It was just me, wearing a coyote suit. But...but...the spaceship... It's just a painted backdrop, boss. I whipped it up in my garage last night and brought it to work with me. Well, leaving for real this time, boss. See you tomorrow. So...we're still in my office, right?

CC 243: A Damn Good Excuse, part three by biped 5-07-04

This certainly has been a confusing day. I still can't believe -- Hold it right there, buddy. Is this your car? Why, yes it is. What seems to be the problem, officer? Oh no problem, except that this car was used in a tri-state killing spree, and you're under arrest for mass murder. You'll fry for this, you unimaginable monster. But officer, I didn't do it! Oh my god, what will I tell Doris and the kids? This is the most horrible -- Ha! Got you again...it was just me in a cop suit. Well, see you tomorrow, boss.

CC 243: A Damn Good Excuse, part four by biped 5-07-04

Heavens, this is all so upsetting. I -- oh my goodness, now what? Surprise! You just got hit by a bus, and now you're dead. Welcome to Hell. Ha ha ha ha! Oh, you're not fooling me this time. I know you're really my mischievous employee Daniel, and that this is all another convincing prank. Wow! I never heard that one before! Wait'll I tell all the guys on the eleventh level of eternal agony about you. They'll bust a gut! Right...now, how about those reports? Have 'em on your desk first thing in the morning, boss. See you then.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

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And just for kicks:
Who's better, NOFX or Bad Religion???

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FTC 28: Probably not so bad by lukket 3-21-04

Holy crap! It's a scary alien! AAGGHH! Take me to your leader. Why? What do you aliens want from us humans? You know what we want... You want our leaders? We eat them. You get rid of them. We all win!

Do You Smack Your Mother With That Wrist? by possums 5-07-04

In general, we've been waiting to eat the one you call George W. Bush. We both hate Bush... aliens and humans really aren't all that different! We have penises growing out of our wrists. Well, there's that...

Kiss Me, I'm Stupid by possums 5-07-04

Now human, we've only been able to study this Bush fellow from a distance. Can you show him to me? Sure, I've got a tape of the State of the Union adress right here.... ...we must keep the use of steroids out of the NFL! Marriage must be kept sacred! Also, I'm a leprechaun. Hmm.... Now I'm having second thoughts. That implies that you had first ones.

Almost Over by possums 5-07-04

You know, I'm not too sure I want to eat your president now. Yeah, you might get a case of the stupids. Any other leaders we could feast on? Hmmm.... TO BE CONTINUED.... I've got someone to introduce to you.

Your Mom Knitted You a Lemon! by possums 5-07-04

Zavgnogrobox 87, meet Ralph Nader. Food! Now he can eat and Kerry can win the election... I'm a genius. Looks a little scrawny... Ungh... consumer brains....

Figured I'd use my own winning entry...

FTC #16: Jurassic Parking In The Rear by niteowl 12-29-03

2004 approaching, sir! Good, corporal. Keep it in your sights. We don't want to lose it. OH... MY... GOD!!! What is it, corporal?? What do you see!! Oh shit, get off me! They've spotted us!

CC 243 : Jurassic Parking In The Rear Revisited by niteowl 5-08-04

I think it's stuck. Dammit! What are you two doing over there? Psst...It looks like they're fornicating, corporal.

CC 243 : Jurassic Parking In The Rear Revisited (2) by niteowl 5-08-04

Whew, I never thought I'd get that thing out. Ahh, that's much better. Thanks. Jesus, did you see the size of that thing when he pulled it out? It was bigger than Arnold Schwarzenegger's arm!

CC 243 : Jurassic Parking In The Rear Revisited (3) by niteowl 5-08-04

Uh-oh. You're bleeding all over the place. Shit. Hey, can you guys help us out over here? I could really use a bandage or some topical cream. Uh, we're out of topical cream. We'll get some bandages though. Out of topical cream? I knew you were masturbating in the tent last night!

CC 243 : Jurassic Parking In The Rear Revisited (4) by niteowl 5-08-04

Thanks a lot. You guys saved Maurice's life here. No kidding. I probably would've bled to death. Thank you. You're welcome. Next time, maybe you should have your friend scratch your back for you instead of using a tree. You don't want another huge splinter stuck in your back again, do you? Say goodbye, confederate do-gooders!