Put all your Christmas themed comics right here.

Tis The Season by areallystupidguy 12-03-04

what do you want for christmas this year? A BILLION DOLLARS! come on, be a little more realistic. hmm, more realistic...more realistic.... a MILLION dollars.

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It's grime time.

A Non-Heartwarming Christmas Story by biped 12-03-04

Santa, for Christmas this year I want a real train set, a catcher's mitt, a fire truck -- You know, of course, that you'll have to give me a super-deluxe blow job in exchange for all of that stuff. B-blow job? B-but...I thought you gave away toys for free... GIVIN' ME A FUCKING BLOW JOB WON'T COST YOU ANYTHING, YA CHEAP LITTLE BASTARD! NOW GET DOWN AND START SUCKIN'! Later... GAG... th-that was awful... Damn right it was! You can forget about that fucking train set, fuckface!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I'll be making a new one soon, but this was my fav from last year (at your expense, arsg)

BigFrank calls home for the holidays by BigFrank105 12-16-03

Well, it's getting pretty close to Christmas. I guess I better call mom. H-hello? Areallystupidguy speaking. Whoops, sorry there buddy, I think I called the wrong number. I meant to call my mom. You did call your mom. DAMMIT! Why do you have to bone my mom on CHRISTMAS? Your sister wasn't home!

Okay here's my newer one. Not too shabby, but I'll make a better one.

Santa's Love Wish by BigFrank105 12-03-04

Ho ho ho! And what would you like for Christmas, son? I want a 2005 Ford Mustang GT, A new Dell Inspiron 8400, and a prostitute named Molly. Look kid, I'm Santa, not a genie. I can't give you shit like that. Fine, I'll let you use the prostitute. Deal!

You mean like this?

A Christmas Carol by kaufman 12-06-01

DexX, dog ball, and bouts with Holly. Fa la la la la, la la la la. 'Tis the season to be jolly. Fa la la la la, la la la la. Don we now our gay apparel. Fa la la, la la la, la la la. TOBOR ANCIENT YULETIDE CORNHOLE! RAAAR RA RA RA RAAR, RA RA RA RAAAR!!!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

00Holy Night by kaufman 12-09-04

'Twas the night before Christmas, And all 'cross the pond, Not a creature was stirring, 'Ello, guv'nah! Because the last one to have done so had been brutally dispatched by Mr. Bond. I said I wanted my drink shaken!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Of course, I have to get a shot in at hockey's labor mess:

A very NHL/NHLPA Christmas. by UnknownEric 12-09-04

Bob. Gary. For Christmas, I got you this nice stocking cap. Gary, how many times do I have to tell you, I WILL NOT ACCEPT A CAP!!! Here, I got you some tires. Bob, Bob, Bob... why are you trying to give me tires when it's obvious we need a new car! Let's not talk again for 15 months.

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I has a flavor!

Bad Noose For St. Nick by biped 12-09-04

What's THIS shit? Fucking OFF-BRAND action figures? Shitty videogame knock-offs from TIAJUANA? Look, a bad economy hits Santa just like it does everyone else, Bobby -- We, the children, allowed you to live after last year's disappointments, Santa. But this year -- you DIE!!! Prepare to be LYNCHED!!! WHAT? LYNCH SANTA CLAUS? Funny how his feet kept twitching even after he was dead...and that silly contorted face he made... Yeah, he died pretty cool...well, grab his toybag. Let's pass out the shit.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Santa Gives his Final Gift by PhreakyChinchilla 7-31-02

"Ho, ho, errr........*cough* Hello there, young fella'..have you been a good little boy this year?" "But..but.." "Just do it." "Pussy."

Mall Santa:Where's Security when you need them? by PhreakyChinchilla 3-13-03

Hi, Santa! I have a big long list for you! Ho ho ho.. I have something big and long for you too! The masks revealed... Busted, pal. I'm taking you in. Ahhh... shit.

<3 boorite

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dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

Some more oldies. The first was edited today, since when it was created, the mstfulls weren't around. So here's a special Director's cut.

Thanks to the pedants, we don't have a live audience anymore by kaufman 11-30-01

Off the coast of Greece there lies a volcanic island known as Santarini. That's SantOrini!

Rudolph: The Remake by kaufman 11-30-01

If put in water, I'll dissolve. Pull my string and I talk physics, not cattle-roping. I have no back half. LUXURY! My makers obviously believed in quitting while you're a head. Welcome to Windows 3.1 Hooray! I've made it to the Island of Misfit Toys!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 225: Four Calling Birds by kaufman 12-20-03

Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now?

And the next one's Comic 200101...

Who? Me Bitter? by kaufman 12-23-03

On the third day ere Christmas, my tru e love gave to me: A life, so I didn't make comic 200,000.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

A Dysfunctional Christmas by BigFrank105 12-09-04

Hey Billy! Christmas is coming, do you know what that means? I get lots of presents from Santa! NO! SANTA ISN'T REAL! AND EVEN IF HE WAS HE WOULDN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR MEANINGLESS LIFE!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!! I HATE YOU MOMMY! WAAAAAAAAA!!! Uh, honey, you probably should have gone a little easier on Billy when you told him there really was no Santa. Hey, that kind of stuff builds character.

A Very Fallujah Christmas by BigFrank105 12-09-04

Ho ho ho! Have you been a good boy this year Abdul? Actually no. I killed 3 U.S. soldiers, 5 Iraqi police officers, and I set a bomb off in an orphanage. That's quite the naughty list! Oh well, Santa can't leave anyone out! I also fixed the World Series. YOU SON OF A BITCH! I'LL HAVE YOU BURN FOR THIS! I did it in Allah's name!

CC 123: The Gift of the Magi by kaufman 6-11-02

Merry Christmas, Gabe. I sold all my pants to buy you a comb. Merry Christmas, Boorite. I sold all my hair to buy you a belt. I love you so much! Let's go in and have some egg nog.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I might as well post some oldies too...here's last year's Christmas series:

Hippie Calls Home for the Holidays by areallystupidguy 12-13-03

wow, christmas time is already rolling around. better call the folks. hello? wow, mom! is that you? hell no. this is your cousin steve! ...dude, i told you a thousand times: no matter how much of it you inhale, you can't get high from helium. now where's my mom? dude, you have a mom?

Slut Girl Calls Home for the Holidays by areallystupidguy 12-13-03

hey, sis! how's it going? im good. where are you living now? im living with that red haired guy who impregnated me when i was 14 and who i eventually married. ... could you be more specific?

Blue Guy Calls Home for the Holidays by areallystupidguy 12-14-03

BAM BAM BA DUM BAM hey mom. hello dear. jesus, what the hell is that noise? what noise? oh that. yeah, i think that's my roomate sam practicing drums. your roomate's a guy? *sigh* somehow i always knew that someday i'd have this talk with you. dear, no matter what path of life you take, i will still love you. you know that right? CHRIST MOM! WE GO THROUGH THIS EVERY YEAR! IM NOT GAY! it's okay, dear. you just take as long as you need to accept your feelings. so when do i get to meet him?

Jason Calls Home for the Holidays by areallystupidguy 12-14-03

hello? OMG JASON!!! IS THAT REALLY YOU? HOLY JESUS I HAVENT SEEN YOU SINCE HIGH SCHOOL! roger? i thought i killed you! what the hell are you doing at my parent's house? I KILLED THEM JASON! THEY'RE ALL DEAD! AHAHAHAHAHA! this is the greatest christmas gift of all... you really shouldnt have, man. i feel so bad that i didn't get you something. don't worry about it. by the way, where do you keep the keys to your meat freezer?

Hopefully I'll make some new holiday-tastic strips soon...

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It's grime time.

Alien Office -Christmas dinner by d_Random 12-07-04

2:00pm at the Office I just took a dump and it smelled like succulent Cornish Game Hen and hot buttered corn on the cob. You are disgusting. No really. I don't understand it. It really smells quite good. You should check it out, stall number one. OK, I was going in there anyway. So what did it smell like. You are an asshole.

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[br] ALIEN OFFICE -please kill my co-workers

Getting In The Spirit by niteowl 11-20-04

Only 4 more days until Thanksgiving... I can't wait until the day after, Christmas shopping rules! Perhaps you'd like to come with on Friday? Perhaps you'd like a punch in the throat. Your lack of Christmas spirit disturbs me.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

Random Comic! Holiday Cheers by Scyess 5-22-02

I am the Ghost of Christmas Past! Tonight I will... Stop right there, buddy. I'm Jewish. Uh... then, er... I AM THE SPIRIT OF CHANNUKA PAST! Sorry, but Channuka is one of our least significant holidays. The only reason anyone cares about it is that it comes around Christmas time. Umm... I am the hallucination caused by drinking Everclear straight from the bottle! Well, all right then.

Merry Commercemas by Scyess 12-22-03

Ho ho... um... yeah. What do you want for Christmas, little... uh, one? I want the continued secularization of traditional Christian holidays. Ho ho ho! That's my specialty! Me, the Easter Bunny, and the Lent Fairy! Don't forget the Good Friday Chinchilla!

Merry Commercemas, Morons Everywhere by Scyess 12-22-03

♫Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock. Jingle Bell Time, to... ♫ BUY A CHRYSTLER! ♫ Fa la la la la, la la la Hefty brand trash bags.♫ Even though I'm long since desensitized to the condescension of it all, it still galls me to think this kind of shit actually sells products.

The Three... Men by Scyess 12-24-03

Boy, that gold sure is shiny. I sure could go for some more gold right now. That gum resin gift pack sure was shiny... but I don't think I should've eaten half of it. Holy crap! Look at that star! It's so shiny! What are we waiting for!! Wow. The Three Wise Men must've been really wise to know to follow the star to the baby Jesus. Oh, yes. And they had the foresight to bear lots of shiny gifts which they most certianly did not have to be relieved of by force, no sir!

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"Old" is the old new.

Here's one for niteowl:

Mallternatives by Scyess 11-30-04

Christmas is coming. Would you like to go shopping at the mall? Ha! I'd rather peel away my eyeballs with a cheese slicer. I thought you'd say that. I happen to have one right here. This really hurts, you know! Technically, I never said you had to choose one or the other.