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Stripcreator » Fights Go Here » The Matrix actually sucks

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boorite
crazy knife lady

Member Rated:

12-17-05 7:18pm (new)
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HCRoyall
100mg Thorazine, Please

Member Rated:

No.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

12-17-05 7:55pm (new)
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ArtemisStrong
masturbating to Japanese shit porn

Member Rated:

I think this is the wrong thread. Shouldn't it be in "System Notices"?

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

12-17-05 8:24pm (new)
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pslock
Tundra Butler

Member Rated:

12-17-05 8:46pm (new)
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len
Stabbity stab stab

Member Rated:

Ergo. Concordantly. Inexorably.

Vis-a-vis!

12-17-05 8:56pm (new)
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boorite
crazy knife lady

Member Rated:

[IMG]http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b5/boorite/matrix_retarded.jpg[/IMG]

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What others say about boorite!

12-17-05 9:42pm (new)
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mandingo
weak stream

Member Rated:

i think the first went over your head. the 2nd and 3rd you probably liked because 'things blowed up', but they sucked John Tesh's ballbumps

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what if nigger meant kite

12-17-05 10:02pm (new)
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boorite
crazy knife lady

Member Rated:

Yeah, I failed to understand the deep meaning of the special effects.

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What others say about boorite!

12-18-05 2:48am (new)
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mandingo
weak stream

Member Rated:

Yeah, I failed to understand the deep meaning of the special effects.


bullet-time is easy to understand once you accept the photon as both particle and wave

woah

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what if nigger meant kite

12-18-05 4:22am (new)
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pita
La fille qui a joué avec le feu

Member Rated:

Boo, them's fightin' words. What's your favourite movie?

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

12-18-05 4:24am (new)
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HotRodDeathToll
Satanoscillatemymetallicsonatas

Member Rated:

Brazil

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The dictator of love and his weapon of mass destruction

12-18-05 4:36am (new)
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crabby
I have an awesome avatar.

Member Rated:

Matrix definetly one of the lamest most overrated big budget movies of all time.

Look through the looking glass here people.

12-18-05 5:28am (new)
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KajunFirefly
chooby digital (in stereo)

Member Rated:

This is the definitive Matrix thread, I've taken you directly to the 4th page where boorite posts his Duracell battery parody sketch.

There's also a post from me saying that I enjoyed Reloaded and was looking forward to Revolutions.

Ah, what a simpler time, before my expectations were shat on.

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Dad was flammable

12-18-05 7:22am (new)
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biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

I enjoy all three of the Matrix movies. I also like the new Star Wars movies, the Blade trilogy, and Underworld. So, more fun for me.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

12-18-05 10:47am (new)
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LuckyGuess
hm

Member Rated:

I think my expectations were shot when Morphius made Neo eat a birth control pill.

"Blueberry or Wild Cherry?"

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

12-18-05 11:06am (new)
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theReverend
Sometimes back but not all the times.

Member Rated:

This is a really cool toy other than the "Broked Leg Action"

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8===D

12-19-05 5:30am (new)
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flickguy
Senior Comic Technician

Member Rated:

And for me. (I'm so glad I'm not alone in this one.)

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This is not my empire.

12-19-05 9:26am (new)
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Chuckaduck
My tongue's your thong...

Member Rated:

Ah fuggit. The first one was incredible as a stand alone piece. Beyond that it was fugt but still enjoyable as a mere action flick(s).

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Don't like it? Eat me.

12-19-05 9:46am (new)
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matclarke
herpes laden mug

Member Rated:

I loathe Keanu Reeves. He is quite possibly THE worst actor I have ever scene.

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obscenity filter is off

12-19-05 1:56pm (new)
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little_kitty
I bop, you bop, a-they bop.

Member Rated:

I think Tobey Maguire on SNL Celebrity Jeopardy said it best....

"I know kung-fu"

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Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

12-19-05 4:19pm (new)
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ivytheplant
Obsessive Comic Disorder

Member Rated:

Yeah, Keanu's acting in The Matrix blew chunks. You know where his acting was superbly astounding? Bram Stoker's Dracula. I've never seen a more accurate portrayal of an Englishman.

12-19-05 4:46pm (new)
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ArtemisStrong
masturbating to Japanese shit porn

Member Rated:

12-19-05 5:12pm (new)
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boorite
crazy knife lady

Member Rated:

Sure, I can enjoy The Matrix as a futuristic action-fantasy flick, but it aspires to so much more and fails in crucial respects.

It crashes and burns as science fiction the moment Morpheus shows us the Duracell battery. Oily smoke from the plot's wreckage fills the theater when magical bullet holes appear in persons who are jacked in to the Matrix.

It exploits cyberpunk trappings (mainly shades, urban decay, and black leather) so thoroughly that it's on everyone's list of cyberpunk movies, but it's not cyberpunk. Contrast with Robocop-- or, hell, Max Headroom. As I watched what promised to be an exemplar of my favorite science-fiction genre, I couldn't help feeling ripped off. I'd be happy to elaborate.

It's also widely touted as an exemplar of the "postmodern" movie. I don't think so. Sure, you have your shifting frames of reference and your world of illusions, but the story presumes to refer to a real reality outside of and superior to the artificial Matrix. That's a fine story, but it's not what I would call "postmodern," for any number of reasons that I'd be glad to enumerate. Contrast with Adaptation, Mulholland Drive, Brazil, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, or Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, to name a few.

I mean, The Matrix is essentially Gnostic. It doesn't just borrow from Gnosticism or offer Gnostic tenets as a possible framework for the action, as a really "postmodern" story might. Instead, it's pretty much a straightforward Gnostic allegory. And isn't Gnosticism premodern?

I could have enjoyed the movie without these reservations if it had only taken the approach of a movie like Tremors: Here are some monsters; we don't know or care where they came from; now let's see what the characters do about them. Instead, the movie offers a lot of lofty explanations that fail, with a bunch of superficial philosophical and literary window dressing. Too bad, because the fight scenes were really cool.

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What others say about boorite!

12-19-05 6:41pm (new)
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boorite
crazy knife lady

Member Rated:

quote:
bullet-time is easy to understand once you accept the photon as both particle and wave

How's that?

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What others say about boorite!

12-19-05 6:43pm (new)
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DexX
What the Cat Dragged In

Member Rated:

Tremors is one of the ten best movies ever made.

"Stampede Earl!"

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

12-19-05 7:48pm (new)
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